“No,” Gabby whispered in a panic, tearing part of her shirt and pressed it to my nose.
“I’m fine,” I replied, but the words came out garbled.
“Holden’s sick,” Gabby told the guards who’d come running. “Get him to his chambers, now!”
I kept hold of her hand, but could no longer see her or hear anything. I was being moved, my body shook so hard my muscles writhed in agony. I thought I’d endured pain before, but this was excruciating. I snarled and growled, snapping my jaws as the agony hit me in never-ending waves.
“Just hold on,” Gabby said nearby, her hand squeezing mine. “Hold on.”
Then I was being laid down, and a fire burst to life nearby. I winced as the brightness hit my eyes. Through tiny slits, I spotted Gabby hovering over me, wiping up my bloodied face. And then she was putting drops in my eyes.
“I need you to swallow this,” she instructed next.
I was too weak to sit up on my own, so two demons helped. I choked on the burning liquid but got down what was needed. Or so Gabby seemed to think, I guess.
She rested her hand on my forehead, saying something else, but then the darkness called to me, and I slipped away on it.
13
Gabriella
I jerked awake when someone touched my shoulder.
“Sorry, dear,” Hattie whispered. “Thought you were awake.”
“I thought I was too,” I replied, taking the cup of tea she handed me. “Thank you.”
“You really should eat something. And sleep,” she insisted, glancing at the plate of untouched food across Holden’s chambers. “He would not want you making yourself weaker.”
“I’m too scared to leave his side,” I confessed.
I reached for Holden’s hand as he winced in his sleep. His shaking had lessened, but he was cold to the touch even with his bed surrounded by fires. Several more demons had fallen sick throughout the castle. My heart plummeted with each ragged breath he took. I couldn’t help feeling his time was limited.
The tea turned bitter in my mouth, and I set it aside. “I failed him.”
“No, dear,” Hattie argued. “No one thinks that.”
“But I have. I came here, hoping to help him and all I’ve done is get him killed.” I wiped hastily at the tears forming in my eyes.
“You have done more for this demon than any other I know. You showed him what true love was, offered it to him in turn. You made him come alive again,” she said, her own words strained with emotion. “He was saved because of you.”
“And if I can’t save him again? I can’t… I can’t lose him, Hattie.” I cried, letting the tears fall this time. “Everything I knew or held dear before Holden is now meaningless. It’s just a blur. What I have with him; that’s all I can remember. I have no life to go back to, nothing.”
She draped an arm around my shoulders, drawing me in close as we wept together. “You are stronger than you know, Gabriella, that is what I believe.”
“But I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. You must be. For him, for all of them.” She stood and motioned to the tea. “At least drink that. I will bring you some more food soon enough.”
“Thank you, Hattie.”
She turned toward the door but paused as she neared it. “A message came from Irina. She said to wish you a happy twenty-first year. And she wanted to know if all was well, as you have not spoken to her in a while.”
I hadn’t, not wanting to worry her about the situation in Disgrace. “I will send word to her soon.”
Hattie left me alone with Holden again, and I sank back into my chair. My head ached, and my whole body was sore from sitting in this chair since bringing him up here. The others had gone so suddenly and so fast. I imagined him passing with me not by his side, and guilt tore through me even worse than before.
“Why didn’t you tell me??” Holden rasped, and my head shot up.
“Holden? Shh, don’t talk right now. Just rest,” I said, pushing his hair back from his forehead as I held his hand in mine.
“I’m feeling better,” he insisted, trying to sit up.
“Don’t push yourself,” I said sternly.
He grimaced and collapsed back to the pillows, too weak to try and move again. “Damn.”
“The symptoms have lessened, but I don’t know for how long,” I confessed, choking back my tears. “I’ll give you another dose soon. It should help.”
He frowned at me as he asked again, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“That this was a day we should be celebrating in your honor.”
I laughed bitterly. “My honor? I have done nothing to deserve such a word to describe me. I’ve brought death to your kingdom, nothing more, Holden.”
“Liar.” He smirked, but it didn’t last long. “We will do something, once I’m well.”
“If that is your wish, husband, who am I to argue?”
His body trembled, and I pulled up another blanket to keep in the warmth left in his body for as long as possible. “If I die, I want you to take over rule here.”
My hands froze. “Don’t say that,” I uttered. “Don’t.”
“It’s what I want to happen.” He captured my hands in his and kissed them. “If I don’t make it, you are to be the ruling princess here. Make certain the others, make certain they know.” He grinned weakly as he added, “You’ll finally have your chance to train the hounds.”
“That’s not what I want,” I argued. “You are going to make it.”
His eyes turned sad. “Gabby,” he started to say, but I cut him off.
“No, don’t you dare start talking like that. You have to fight this. You will not leave me alone, understand? You won’t! I don’t care what I have to do, but you are going to make it.”
I saw the argument on his face, but he was wracked with another burst of chills that had him shaking, his teeth chattering. I tucked him in the best I could, stoking the fires around him so I was sweating from the heat, and checked the vials near his bedside. They were empty. I would have to go get more.
“Holden?”
His eyes were closed, and his breathing was labored, but he was alive. For now. Heart clenched in a vise-like grip, I picked up the empty vials, kissed his forehead and promised I’d be back as fast as I could. I ran through the castle, clutching the empty vials to my chest, willing Holden to stay alive until I could find a way to fix this mess. One of the guards tried to follow me into my workshop, but I shoved him back out.
“Prince’s orders,” he argued.
“I know, but please I just need a moment to think. I can’t do that with you hovering.”
His lips thinned, but he nodded. “I will be just outside this door. If I hear anything, I will be coming in here.”
“Fine, fine,” I said and closed the door firmly behind him.
When I spun around to face the table with the red flower, my heart sank. I nearly fell in my hurry to get them. The flowers had wilted, their petals curled up, and brown. They were useless now. I would have to get more, but that would take time, more than Holden had. I slammed my hands down on the table as despair flooded through me. Hanging my head, I let the tears fall now. Tori had won, again. She had taken my childhood from me, my sense of love, and just when I thought I’d gotten it back, when I found someone who did want me in his life, she came along and stole him away, too. It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair!
Holden. He was going to die because I was not strong enough to save him.
My love for him was strong. I’d hoped and prayed it would be enough to save him, keep him here with me. Was it not true love at all then?
“Please,” I whispered to the still air of my workshop. “Please. I can’t let him die.”
My knees gave out, and I crouched before the table, willing time to stand still so I could stay with Holden a while longer. Twenty-one years of living in this world, and when I finally found the life I wanted, I was going to lose it
all.
My tears pattered in the dirt at my feet—
A bright pulsing glow started at my hands.
My breath caught. I stared at my fingers in alarm as it happened again, like violet ribbons intertwining. I straightened, holding my hands out in front of my face. What was this?
“Magic?” I whispered.
The light pulsed again as if in answer.
When Tori used it, her eyes always flared white, but it was never pure. The violet hue before me, it felt good. Felt right. It stopped suddenly, and I feared I’d lost it when they flared all the brighter, and I gasped at the rushing sensation flooding every vein in my body. I felt strength like never before. With it came a knowing of what I had to do.
Tori’s dark magic caused this plague. And now, now my magic would end it. My magic, one that did not come from hate or darkness, but from love.
I looked at the wilted and dead flowers. Holding my breath, I did what instinct guided me to do and held my glowing hands over them. Violet and blue sparks dripped from my fingertips, falling on the flowers and brought them back to life before my eyes. But it didn’t stop there. They transformed the flowers, lifting them off the table top and swirled them around, filling them with my magic. I reached for a vial, and the flower disintegrated into it perfectly. I topped it off with a small bit of water and shook it. The vial glowed, and I quickly repeated the process to the remaining flowers, hoping it would be enough for all those afflicted.
When I finished the last one, the glow in my hands ceased, but the power was still within me. I felt it, like a guiding presence. After all these years, Tori had been wrong about me. I had magic; if she had loved me, perhaps it would have been awakened sooner. Instead, I had to wait for Holden to come along for the power within me hummed to life all because of him. I gathered up the vials, and exited the workshop.
The guards stared at me in confusion.
“We saw a light from inside,” one asked. “My lady?”
“Take these and give one to all those struck with the plague,” I instructed, holding the last one for Holden. “Make certain they drink it all.”
“Yes, my lady,” the guard replied, handing them around. “You—are you well? You seem different.”
“I am,” I assured him with a soft smile. “I’ve finally realized who I am.”
There was no more time to explain. I hastened inside to give this last vial to Holden, a tonic now filled with light magic to counteract the hate-fueled power Tori used to create this plague so many years ago. I entered Holden’s chamber, the curious guard still with me, and asked him to help me sit his Prince up. Holden didn’t wake, and I realized how close I was to losing him. I opened his mouth and poured the glowing liquid down his throat. He swallowed it easily, and we laid him back down. The guard and I held our breaths, watching and waiting.
“What did you give him?” one of them asked.
Before I had a chance to answer, Holden’s back arched off the bed, and a violet hue surrounded his body. His eyes shot open, glowing. But it was the black smoke that burst from his mouth that told me the tonic worked. It swirled over his body until the violet ribbons of magic surrounded it and destroyed it. Holden’s body fell back to the bed. He took several deep breaths then relaxed.
I sank onto the edge of the bed in relief and reached out to feel his skin “He’s warm.”
The guard touched Holden’s arm and hung his head. “You saved him, you saved them all.”
“Not all,” I mumbled, wishing I had.
“You saved who you could. You stopped the plague,” one demon guard said sternly. “Thank you.”
“I need you to send several of your men to Channon, have them bring back more of the Sailor’s Call flower. I would like an extra supply on hand in case Tori is not finished with us.”
“Yes, my lady, whatever you require.”
With the guard gone, I leaned over and kissed Holden’s lips. “Once you are well, we will hunt down Tori, together,” I promised. “We will bring an end to her. I have the power now.” I held up my glowing violet hand, wondering what he would think of it when he saw it. “All because of you. Thank you.”
I heard tales of many witches who took a long time to come into their powers. If only Tori had been patient with me, perhaps shown me the love meant to come from a mother, she might have come to see what I was capable of. Instead, it was Holden who loved me, and I owed him everything. If I had been left with Tori, this power flooding through me might have turned out much darker.
Hattie burst into the room, crying in relief as she told me the others who were sick were healing. The hounds, too. She hugged me fiercely, already talking about a feast to celebrate. I told her there was still work to do, finding Tori and destroying her, but she waved off my worries.
“We celebrate when we can in dark times such as these.” She wiped away her tears. “I will see to it all. You should get some rest.”
“I will soon enough.” I wanted to make more tonic first.
Once word came the guards had returned with more of the needed flower, I kissed Holden, and returned to my workshop. Three satchels were filled with the flower, and I made a mental note to do something special for all the guards had done for me during this time of uncertainty. They could have turned on me, blamed me for this, but instead they remained loyal and steadfast.
I set to work, filling vial after vial with the magic-infused tonic, until a chill breeze rushed down my spine. Violet flared brighter in my hands as I turned to see the monster herself standing before me. Tori.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded.
She stared greedily at my glowing hands. “My, how I turned out to be right, after all.”
“About what? You cast me aside thinking I was worthless! This magic is not like yours,” I snapped, taking a step toward her, trusting my instincts to take over. “You will pay for the pain you’ve caused.”
“You mean the plague I unleashed? Oh, sweetheart, that was merely a test.”
“A test?” I repeated. “For what?”
“Why to see what you were capable of. To see if magic resided in you. I never imagined it would take so much to bring it out of you, but apparently watching the man you love die was just enough.”
She did this on purpose. All of this. “You’ve been watching me, haven’t you?”
“I have my ways,” she said and glanced toward the shattered mirrors. “Now come with me, there is much work to do.”
“I’m not going with you. I’m going to destroy you.” I took another step toward her, ready to strangle her with my bare hands.
She snapped her fingers, and her eyes flared white.
My arms were suddenly bound at my sides by invisible ropes, preventing me from moving.
“Your love for the demi demon is sickening. I will cure you of it soon enough.”
“You will not touch him!” I screamed for help.
She rolled her eyes. “They cannot hear you.”
“What did you do to them?”
“Nothing to them. They merely think you’re in here working. Let’s keep it that way, yes? Now come along, daughter, we are about to prove to the rest of the witches just how strong a mother and daughter bond can be.”
I tugged on my arms, begging them to move, but they remained stuck fast to my side. “I will never give you what you want,” I warned as she approached. “Never. I would rather die.”
She smacked me hard across the face. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”
I spat at her feet.
She smacked me again.
“I will not make it easy for you.”
“If that is the way you want it then fine. I will do this the hard way.” She raised her hands to my temples, and the moment she made contact, I felt a stabbing pain behind my eyes as if she was tearing apart my memories.
I glimpsed images of Holden being torn away.
Tears slipped from my eyes, but then I felt myself falling into nothingness.
> “Come, Gabriella. It is finally time to get my revenge.”
I felt myself nod as words slipped from my mouth, “Yes, Mother.”
“That’s more like it.” She took my hand, and we were gone.
14
Holden
There was a bright, violet light that filled my mind, chasing away the darkness that had closed in around me. I could’ve sworn my end was near and I fought against it, not ready to leave Gabby. I remembered telling her she was to rule when I passed, knowing she would care for my people and the hounds. Was I ready to die? Not even close, not when Tori was still out there threatening the woman I loved, but the darkness was too strong. And the cold. I never imagined such cold.
And then there was the violet light and a soft touch at my forehead. Gabby, she’d done it. I wasn’t certain how, but she had. The cold disappeared, and I felt her lips brush against mine.
“You brought out my magic, your love for me. I’ll be back soon, promise,” she whispered and then I sensed her leaving.
I wasn’t certain how much time passed when my eyes fluttered open one. It was daytime and the windows had been thrown open to let in the warm afternoon breeze. At least, I assumed it was afternoon. Braziers surrounded my bed, but they were all out. I sat up, waiting for the pain to hit me. Except I felt none.
“Sire!” Hattie exclaimed, and she was at my side. “Take your time, don’t hurt yourself.”
“I don’t feel any pain,” I assured her, stretching my arms over my head and giving it a good shake. “I feel incredible, actually. What did she do?”
“Saved you, saved everyone,” she informed me proudly. “It appears Gabby was not so powerless after all.”
“What do you mean?” I assumed it had all been a dream, but apparently not.
“The guards swore they saw a bright violet light come from the workshop, and when Gabby emerged with the new tonic, she was changed. Filled with that same light.”
Disgrace Page 18