by Mesha Barton
Before I knew it, I was balling my eyes out in front of a man who clearly didn’t give a damn about me. I tried to suck my tears back inside my eyes, but the harder I tried, the more my emotions escaped me. Saying nothing else as I wiped the sniffles from my nose, I threw my purse across my shoulder, stood up, and headed towards the door.
“Wait a minute, Ava.” He rushed towards me and blocked the door. “I apologize if I’ve hurt your feelings. That wasn’t my intention. To be honest, I didn’t think you’d care. Considering the fact you’ve been sleeping with the both of us claiming to only be interested in living young and having fun, I just assumed you were not interested in romantic relationships. I am not trying to hurt you. If what you want is a man who will love you, be there for you, and give you that happily ever after ending, you need to leave me alone. You need to go out there and get that. I am not the man for you. I may be someday, but today is not that day.” Taking a moment to sigh, he hesitated. “You’re in pain, Ava. Go home. Get some sleep. Take care of yourself. Apparently after all you’ve been through, you deserve that.” He placed his left hand beneath my chin, then kissed my cheek softly.
Vulnerable and disordered, I wasn’t sure if I wanted sex, or simply a shoulder to lean on. Did I want a friend, or my vagina massaged? As he attempted to release my presence and let me out of the door, I leaned in to him, gripped his face, and planted my tongue inside his mouth. I could tell that he was about to resist me, but before he could do so, I swirled my tongue against his neck, knowing he would not be able to defy. As we kissed, he managed to remove my purse from my shoulder, and my shirt from my body. He unbuckled his pants, picked me up, wrapped my legs around his waist, and carried me into the bedroom. After lying me down, he slid my pants off, climbed in between my legs, and continued to reach inside me.
Suddenly we heard a knock on the door. Irritated and horny, John threw his pants back on, and ran towards the front door to see who it was. During that time, my conscious and common sense decided to kick in. I hopped out of the bed, tossed my clothes back on, and slid my feet inside my shoes. Rushing to get out of the house, I opened the door to his bedroom, and proceeded to the front door. My heart flopped to the floor as I stared at the facial expression on Lee’s face. As I focused my attention on Lee, John focused his attention on me. As John focused his attention on me, Lee continued to observe the both of us.
“What the hell is going on here?” Lee asked me. “I-I thought you were babysitting your sister’s children? Why are you at John’s house? Why the fuck did you just leave from his bedroom?”
My mouth tried to speak, but nothing would come out of it. For a slight moment, I glanced at John hoping that he would say something relevant enough to save us both from the mess we were in. He said nothing. Instead, he just stood there scanning between Lee and me with his shirt off and pants unbuckled.
“Why can’t you explain what the hell is going on here?” Lee continued. “What the fuck!”
“I-I drove this way to pick up Jalisa,” I stuttered. “She was supposed to head to Summer’s house with me to watch the kids. She must’ve forgotten, because when I arrived, she wasn’t here.”
“BULL-SHIT, Ava! If you’re going to be sneaking around with my best friend the least you can do is tell the damn truth about it!”
I tried to speak, but again, no valid words would come out. At that point, it was evident that Lee wanted nothing to do with me. He threw the both of us a sour stare, shook his head, turned, and walked out of the door. As soon as Lee made his exit, I released a deep breath, snatched my purse from the floor, and threw it across my shoulder. Not knowing what else to say, I glanced at John, and then made my exit also.
CHAPTER 17
FORBIDDEN FLESH
I had a thousand changes to confess my deceptions, but instead of being truthful, I chose to leave his heart in the dark. As much as I would’ve loved to justify my actions on my broken past, I knew I wrong. There was nothing I could do or say to fix what I had done. It was over. So when Lee chose to disconnect me from his life, I didn’t put up a fight. I didn’t argue, nor did I beg. It was so much easier to accept his reaction, own up to my bullshit, and simply let him go.
As I slouched on my living room couch sipping on my bottle of Tequila, I realized that my drink was nearly gone. It was definitely time to take a quick trip to the liquor store, but because I was too intoxicated to drive, I decided to pick up my phone and call a cab. The cab driver notified me that he’d arrive in approximately ten minutes. After ending the call, I went to the bathroom to change into some jeans. I grabbed my credit card out of my purse, slid it in my pants pocket, and headed out the door. I stood inside the hallway until my ride arrived, and when it did, I informed the driver of my intended destination.
Not long after, we pulled into the parking lot of the crowded liquor supply. I hopped out of the car, barged my way into the store, and stood anxiously in line. With my arms folded, and my feet tapping rapidly against the ground, suddenly I heard a familiar voice call my name.
“Hakeem?” I said, smiling. We both reached in for a hug and chatted as we waited in line. “What are you doing here? Where’s Summer and the boys?”
“They’re at Autumn’s house. I’m just kickin’ it with my hommies tonight. How you been?” He looked around as if he had never seen the place before. “What the hell are you doin’ standing inside a liquor store?”
Chuckling, I said, “Well, I’ve had a long couple days. I need to unwind a bit.”
“That’s understandable,” he responded, shaking his head in agreement. “So you’re having a get together at your apartment?”
“No. No, not quite. It’s just me, myself, and I tonight.”
The line had finally decreased in size and it was now my turn to order. “I’d have a bottle of Tequila,” I told the cashier. After handing him my identification, credit card, and watching him swipe it, I placed the cards back inside my pocket, grabbed my drink, stood to the side, and waited for Hakeem to complete his purchase.
As soon as he return his attention back towards me, he laughed. “I’m not quite understanding why you’d decide to stay inside your home and drink alone. I mean, if you would like some company, you are more than welcome to come relax with me and my peeps.”
“Oh no, that’s okay. I wouldn’t want to interfere. Thanks anyway, though.”
“I figured you’d say something like that… but I insist. We’ll have music, television, card games, and food. I’d love to have my lil’ sis join me.”
Refusing to take my no for an answer, he ran outside to his car, put the liquor inside the trunk, and told his few friends to make room for me in the back seat. During that time, I gave the cab driver his fare, which included a tip, and then proceeded towards Hakeem’s car. The car smelled like a mixture of cigarette smoke and strong men’s cologne. The sound of old school music blasted throughout the car—Snoop Dog to be exact, and nearly all the windows were rolled down causing a dramatic breeze to enter.
I was grateful when Hakeem parked in front of our destination roughly fifteen minutes later. I jumped out of the car first, brushed the wrinkles out of my shirt, and waited for the rest of the crew to head inside the home. Hakeem’s friend, Ricky, opened the door and let us all in. In his medium sized living room, we took our seats, exposed our drinks, and got the party started. Just a few minutes later, the doorbell rang. Three females, and two additional males strolled into the home. Ricky introduced me to everyone as Hakeem’s little sister, and in return I greeted everyone with a smile and a tipsy “hello”. Followed by that, we teamed up to play a few rounds of spades, and of course, Hakeem and I partnered up. Losers of the game took shots; winners watched. Fortunately, we won a few rounds, but unfortunately, we lost a few too. By the end of the game, Hakeem and I took back five shots and were drunker than New Year’s Eve.
We were having a pleasantly good time. Sharing laughter, jokes, discussing life lessons, and past experiences—I was actually happy tha
t I decided to show up after all.
Eventually, half the party passed out, and that included Hakeem. He was lying on the same couch as me, but on the opposite side. A few people went upstairs, while the others remained in the living room either on another piece of furniture, or scattered across the floor. Too drunk to move, let alone drive, I decided to lay my head against the arm of the couch to take a nap. About three hours later Hakeem was tapping me on my shoulder. Immediately, I asked him what time it was.
“It’s two in the morning.”
“Oh, damn,” I replied. “I’m guessing you’re ready to go?”
“Yeah. If I don’t attempt to get home with my family soon, Summer is gonna have a nervous breakdown.”
We released a lazy chuckled, tiptoed around the unconscious bodies, and strolled to the front door. It didn’t take us long to get back to my side of town. Without traffic hovering the streets, it only took us ten minutes to arrive. Once we pulled up in front of my place, I politely turned to thank Hakeem for inviting me out with him and his friends.
“Oh, it’s no problem. It was my pleasure to have you with us. I could tell you enjoyed yourself too. I’m glad you did.”
“Yeah, I did have fun… thanks again.”
A silent moment followed, allowing us to only hear the sound of cars passing, and mild winds blowing.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you later. Tell Summer and the twins I said hello.”
“I surely will tell them for you… but before you leave, can I ask you a question?”
With a look of slight confusion, I said, “Yes. What’s on your mind?”
“Well, not tryna snoop into your business or anything, but I’ve noticed that you haven’t been coming around lately... is everything okay?”
“Yes, everything is fine. But thanks for checking up on me, Hakeem. I appreciate that.”
“You’re welcome. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. You know I don’t like anyone messing with my family.”
“Yeah, I know you’re very protective of all of us—especially Summer.”
“You are certainly right about that,” he replied, laughing. “But if you ever need anything, Ava… please do not hesitate to call me. I know I’m not a woman so you’re probably not gonna be too quick to grab your phone, dial me up, and tell me all the juicy drama happening in your life, but I am here for you.”
Assuming the questions and conversation was over, I reached for the door and proceeded to unlock it. Right before planting my foot against the concrete, I was startled by the sensation of his hand rested upon my thigh. My head rotated back towards him so quickly, I almost snapped my neck.
“What are you doing?” I said, looking at his hand and slowly removing it at the same time.
He didn’t respond right away. Instead, he just sat there gazing into my eyes. Stupidly, I froze. I didn’t know how to say what was directly on the edge of my tongue. I knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted was some of Ava’s sweet pussy. Shaking my head out of disgrace, I said, “I can’t believe you, Hakeem. I mean, you’re supposed to be my brother for goodness sake, but here you are lusting for some pussy.” I shook my head again, then sighed.
“You’re right. I should be ashamed of myself… but for some odd reason… I’m not.”
“Are you drunk, bro?”
“No, I’m not drunk. I’m not drunk at all. But I am horny as hell for you, though.”
I could not believe what I was hearing, and as I sat there laughing, I was tempted to slap reality back into his lustful head.
“Boy, don’t you realize Summer will kill you if she knew you were humping on another woman?!”
“Of course I realize that. But sitting here next to a beautiful woman such as yourself—I really don’t care.”
I licked my lips, then smiled seductively. “So you really want some of this pussy, huh?”
“I do.”
“Well what do you think would happen if your fiancée found out about this? How do you think your children would feel if they knew Daddy fucked their auntie?”
Sighing before answering, he said, “Well that’s not something my children or fiancée has to know about, now is it?”
By the look in his eyes, I could tell that he desperately wanted me. His presence was intense, and by the moist from his hand, I could tell his hormones were boiling.
“Alright,” I said, then sighed deeply. “If that’s what you want… that’s what you’re gonna get.” I licked my lips, turned to place my feet on the ground, and got out of the car. I got a head start walking towards the apartment, while Hakeem sat in the vehicle apparently thinking of what he was about to do.
I managed to get inside my apartment long enough to freshen my breath and wash the significant portions of my body. I slipped on a comfortable robe, took a gulp of liquor, and tossed my dignity into the trashcan. Not long after, Hakeem came knocking on the door. I opened it, looked into his anxious eyes, grabbed his sweaty hand, and guided him to my bedroom. Nervous, I stood there and allowed him to tease my body. He opened my robe, and timidly caressed my breast. He then worked his way towards my stomach and ass, and as he did so, his hands shook like a cold Nimic. Too speed up the process, I placed my tongue against his neck and twirled it as softly as I could. Watching as his eyes rolled towards the back of his head, I grasped the seam of his jeans and gradually unbuckled them. His monstrous dick was rock solid.
As he removed his shirt, I removed his underwear. As I removed my bra, he led me to the bed, hovered himself on top of me, and relaxed his manhood inside my flesh.
* * *
CHAPTER 18
A THOUSAND BEATS PER SECOND
My fingers would not stop trembling as I held the cheap pregnancy test inside the palm of my hand. What if I’m pregnant? I thought. Shaking still, I closed my eyes, relieved a deep sigh, and then glanced back down at the test. It was positive. My heart proceeded to beat a thousand times per second. I could not breathe. I could not talk. I could not move. About five minutes later, I finally removed myself from the toilet, washed my hands, and exited the bathroom. I strolled into my bedroom and went towards my cellphone. As I waited for Jalisa to answer, I continued to tap my bare foot anxiously against the floor. She didn’t answer, so I left her a voicemail explaining to her that I had an emergency, and needed her to call me back. Immediately after hanging up, I flopped upon my bed and lied there for nearly an hour waiting for her to return my call. My mind was going insane. Not knowing what to do, I crawled myself into a ball and cried. I cried so hard and long, eventually I fell asleep.
Suddenly, I was awakened by the sound of my ringtone. With my eyes still trying to adjust, I squinted at my phone, saw Jalisa’s name, and answered.
“Girl, I’ve been trying to reach you for weeks! Where the hell have you been, and why the hell have you been ignoring my calls? I didn’t even get to speak to you on your birthday!”
Disregarding her questions and comment, I said, “Are you busy? Can you come over for a bit? I have something I need to tell you.”
“Umm… sure… I can stop by your place. Are you okay? You sound kinda out of it.”
“No, I’m not okay, Jalisa. But I’ll let you know what’s going on as soon as you get here.”
“OK, that’ll be great. Let me run this errand, and as soon as I’m done, I’ll be on my way.”
“OK, thanks. I’ll see you when you get here.”
I hung up the phone, and then looked at the time. It was 5:32 in the evening. I had slept for three hours, but it felt more like ten. I was exhausted. I decided to lie back down for a bit, but at that point, I could not get back to sleep. My head would not stop racing. I was afraid, I was nervous, and more than anything—I was embarrassed. Not only did I fuck my sister’s fiancé, but the thought of being pregnant with his child, was enough to make me hate myself.
To clear my head and relax my tense body, I decided to run myself a nice warm bath filled with bubbles and soothing salts. As I stood in the middle
of the restroom, I removed my clothes, stepped slowly inside the hot water, and maneuvered my way into seating position. Releasing a deep sigh, I leaned my back against the rear of the tub and rested my neck. I closed my eyes, and let out another deep sigh. For roughly ten minutes, my position remained the same, but eventually I chose to grab a washcloth to cleanse my body with the scent of cucumber melon. I scrubbed my face, rinsed it, and then detached myself from the water. I placed a petite towel around my body, grabbed my clothes off the floor, and proceeded to the bedroom. Followed by dressing myself in a sweat suit two sizes too big for me, I went into the living room, sat on the couch, and turned on the television.
As I sat there flicking through the channels trying to keep my mind clear of things, I found myself continuously stalking my phone hoping that Jalisa would call to say she was on her way. I was indeed losing control and needed to take the edge off. I snatched the last serving of Tequila out of the kitchen cabinet, and tossed it back. Just as I was going for my second shot, my cellphone rang. It was Jalisa, so I strolled towards the door to unlock it, then let her in. As soon as she entered, she extended her arms and hugged me.
“How are you, girl? It’s been way too long… I mean, I know you don’t fool with John and Lee anymore, but that has nothing to do with me. You know I still love ya, right?”