by A. J. Norris
“We are going to need to you step down from this case.”
“Who is this?” Harry repeated.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m agent Wilkes with the ATF.”
“What does Tobacco and Firearms have to do with—”
“It’s not the what, but the who the suspect is that interests us. We are going to ask first if you would please keep out of our way during our investigation.”
“Your investigation? This is my case.”
“Not anymore.”
“On whose authority?”
“Ours. Your commissioner is aware…”
Harry’s cell rang. He glanced at the screen. Sonofabitch. It was the commissioner. “Hold on a minute,” he told Agent Wilkes. “Hello?” he said into his cell.
“Harry, got a call from AT—”
“Yeah, let me guess, ATF Agent Wilkes.”
“He called you,” the commissioner said. “Now, Harry, we have to let them do their jobs.”
“What does the ATF want with a murder investigation? Why not the FBI?”
“You know as much as I do. They’ve been working together and have been for a while. Forget about the case, it doesn’t concern us anymore.”
“Like hell it doesn’t. This is my city.”
“I know how you feel, but we don’t have a choice.”
“Oh yeah? Let them stop me.”
“If I find out your investigating this case, I’m personally taking your shield, do you hear me?”
“Crystal.” Fuck! He hit end on his iPhone.
Agent Wilkes cleared his throat. Again. What was the matter? Was he uncomfortable? He was about to get that way if he wasn’t already.
“Detective, we will take over from here.”
“Maybe we could exchange information, I got some files on—”
“No thank you,” Wilkes said and ended the connection.
Harry slammed the handset down. He wasn’t going to let the ATF stop him from seeing this case through. This was his city, and those murdered women were his responsibility. He promised Judge Merlow he’d bring Heidi’s killer to justice.
Rudy stuck his head into Harry’s office and knocked on the open door. “Made a fresh pot, you wanna cup?”
“God, yes.” He dragged his palms down his face. Rudy came in and placed a ceramic mug on the edge of Harry’s desk. “Thanks.”
Rudy settled in the armchair across from him. “You look like you could use someone to talk to.”
“Naw, I’m all right.”
“Yeah, okay,” Rudy said, “but I can tell something’s been off between you and Natalie for a long time now.”
Harry considered denying that she was upset with him since the ravine, except he was too tired to cover that shit up. “We’re kind of on a break.”
“Man, I’m sorry. Can you work it out?”
Harry nodded, and hoped that was true.
“Hang in there. You have a baby on the way, so I’m sure things will work out. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Actually, now that you mention it, I could use your assistance tomorrow.”
“Don’t you mean next week?”
“No.”
“I mean after your fishing trip.”
Shit. His cell rang and he looked down at the screen. Double shit. It was Brayden’s number. Harry waved Rudy out of his office. “I gotta take this. Hey, kid, how’s it going?”
“Grace says you never called and wants to know when you’re picking me up tomorrow.” The excitement in his tone was palpable through the phone.
Harry hated this. “Listen, Bray, we’re going to have to postpone our trip.”
* * *
Grace
Brayden’s posture went from confident to slumped within seconds of talking to her father. Grace knew the disappointment all too well where her dad was concerned. She had cried too many times to count because her father had been called away to work. Or as she found out later, he had chosen work over spending time at home. She moved closer to Brayden sitting at the kitchen table. He was finishing the chocolate chip pancakes she’d made him for dinner. Tears rimmed his bottom eyelids.
“Let me talk to Harry,” she said, putting her hand out for his phone. Her father continued to talk as she raised it to her ear. “Harry,” she said sharply. She didn’t bother asking Brayden to leave the room, he needed to hear what she had to say to her father. He needed to know she was on his side and this behavior, for any reason, wouldn’t be tolerated anymore, even if it had nothing to do with her. Of course it did, though. Mikey’s son was her business.
“Grace?”
“Yeah.”
“Uh, I was explaining to Bray about this case I’m working on and—”
“Shut up and listen. He doesn’t want to hear it, nor do I.”
“I’m sorry, I have to—”
“I don’t care. Brayden wants to know what time you’re picking him up in the morning.”
“Grace…”
“You know, I’ve been wanting to say this since I was a little girl. Back then I didn’t dare tell you how I felt and Mom never would. She’d say ‘your father works hard’ and for me to respect that. But it hurt. Do you know how many times I cried because you had to work? How many Christmas mornings I opened my presents without you? How Thanksgivings Mom and I waited for you to come home and we wound up eating cold turkey because you never came home? Or how many birthday parties you missed of mine or hers? I know that’s why we celebrated her birthday for eleven years after her death.”
“I’m sorr—”
“Let me finish. I love you, and for some reason so does Brayden, but I’m telling you this right now. If you don’t show up at ten-thirty AM tomorrow you better not show up at all. And I’m being generous with the time.” She meant every word. The man needed the verbal assault. Later she would feel guilty. Harry didn’t say a word. Grace knew she had gotten through to him and had no doubt he would be at the house at the designated time. He always got quiet when nothing he could say would refute her words.
Her father didn’t speak for a long time, though he breathed into the phone. When he finally responded, the only words spoken were, “I’m sorry.”
“That’s not what this is about. Don’t apologize. Do better.”
“I understand.”
“Thank you.” Grace hit “End” and handed Brayden his cell. “He’ll be here at 10:30.”
Brayden smiled. “Really?”
“You have all your stuff packed?”
“Yeah, it’s been packed for a week.” He trotted out of the kitchen. “I’m going to go check I have everything!” He nearly ran into Mikey in the doorway.
“Hey, slow down, kid.”
“Sorry, Dad.” He continued into the living room.
“What was that all about? Uh oh, I know that look. What did he do?” Mikey asked.
Grace smirked. “What do you mean? Bray didn’t do anything.”
“Not that, I heard you talking, I assumed to Harry.”
She shook her head and sighed. “Yeah. The man never learns. He wanted to call off the fishing trip. But I’m sorry, no way is he treating my kid that way.”
“For what reason?”
“Work.” She rolled her eyes. “Of course.”
“Jeez. That’s nice. Bray would be crushed.” He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and kissed the crook of her neck. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. For what?”
“Yelling at your ol’ man and calling Brayden yours.”
“I love him, you know?” Tears welled in her eyes. “My dad…”
“He disappointed you a lot as a kid, I take it.” Mikey nuzzled her neck, nibbled on her earlobe.
“I hope he doesn’t pull that crap with my little brother or sister.” She raised her shoulder because Mikey’s lips tickled as he kissed her neck again.
“No wonder Natalie’s scared. With your father’s I-gotta-work excuse bullshit.”
&
nbsp; “No kidding, and I don’t blame her. Promise me you’ll never put the shop ahead of us.”
He turned her around and looked her in the eyes. “Don’t worry, nothing is more important to me than you and Bray.”
“I love you. How did I get so lucky?”
Mikey chuckled. “I dunno, what can I tell ya?”
CHAPTER
THIRTY-NINE
Harry
Harry pressed his cell to his forehead. Had that actually happened? Grace had gutted him in ten seconds flat. And man, had she told the truth. His guilt had made him celebrate Annie’s birthday well after what was healthy. Hell, any birthday party for a dead person probably wasn’t considered sane.
“Annie,” he whispered, alone in his office. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. “How did you put up with me all those years?” Admitting the reality was harsh, but denying he was a selfish prick wasn’t worth the energy. The woman had been a saint. Perhaps the stress he put on her caused her silent heart condition? Nope. He wasn’t going to do that to himself.
Harry shut off the light in his office and locked the door behind him. He must have looked grim when he walked past Rudy’s desk in the squad room. The uniformed cop glanced away quickly after they made eye contact, although he nodded before doing so.
He drove his Buick out of the lot and toward home, though he didn’t turn onto the street leading into his neighborhood. There was still a bit of light left and he headed west. A high cyclone fence enclosed the Rolling Hills Memorial Park, however, the iron gates held upright by brick towers welcomed visitors. They stayed open for another hour. Harry wound his way to the back and found his wife’s gravesite. The angel statue that marked her grave stood serenely overlooking the plot. After parking the car, he trekked through the soggy grass, carefully avoiding stepping on the ground above where the vaults lay. He read the plaque imbedded in the ground. “Anna Rae Hunter, Beloved Wife and Mother. May you sing with the angels.” She had loved to sing, yet had been too shy to in public. He’d almost forgotten about that until now. How could he have not remembered that?
He dragged his hands down his face then looked at his palms, they were wet with tears. “Natalie’s pregnant,” he told Annie. He chuckled, partially feeling silly and partially because he had trouble believing it too. “I know what you’re thinking. ‘How could you?’ I’m so s-sorry.” His voice caught.
Kneeling down, he brushed a few leaves off the flat granite headstone. He sniffed back his emotions. “You’ll forever be young and beautiful, you know. Oh God…” Annie had died at forty-three. She barely had any gray hair yet. Often, she was mistaken for being Grace’s sister instead of her mother.
Harry held on tightly to the memory of his wife, terrified she would fade away. Yet he needed to let go before he lost everything. She was gone and he had to face it. He’d come here every day if he had to until the fact sank in.
Lost in his own head, he hadn’t heard the car pull up behind him. The door slamming shut startled him. Reflexively, he went for his gun before spinning around.
“I thought I might find you here.” Natalie’s voice both surprised and soothed him. “I talked to Grace.”
Harry put his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “Yeah?”
“She yelled at you, huh?”
He nodded.
“Good. Because if you disappointed Brayden, I’m not sure I’d ever speak to you again.”
He forgot how much he admired her bluntness. “Why did you think I’d come here?”
“Because Rudy followed you and called me. He said you didn’t look right when you left the station. He was going home anyway.”
“He’s a great cop. Good instincts.”
She glanced over her shoulder at her car. “Well, I only came to check on you. Make sure you weren’t offing yourself.”
Harry smirked. “No. I’m not offing myself. Not yet, anyway.”
Natalie returned to her car. “Hey, come by and get the keys to my cabin tonight. I don’t need you waking me up in the morning.” She opened her door and started getting in, but stopped when he said her name.
“Nat…?” His eyes watered from the wind. They were strangers all of a sudden, it seemed. He hated the distance he’d created between them. Fixing this wasn’t going to be easy and he wondered if it could be fixed at all.
A crease formed in her forehead when he said nothing more. She stared at him for a bit then got into her car. He didn’t know what to say. Oh, what was he saying? He knew exactly. I love you, Natalie. I love you so damn much.
* * *
Home was a strange concept for Harry right now. Where was his home? And what did it mean? Being at his house seemed foreign to him. Sleeping with Natalie in the bed he had shared with Annie wasn’t working for him, and he imagined not for her either. He wanted to go home. Except he didn’t know where that was currently. Being lost and out of control frightened Harry.
He didn’t leave the cemetery right away. He drove the circuit around all the different sections of graves and passed several mausoleums until it was dark.
The clock on Harry’s dash turned to 10:16 when he pulled into Natalie’s driveway. Her porch light illuminated the front of the house. Most of the neighbors had switched their lights off.
He dug the key to her house out of his center console and went straight for the front door. If she was sleeping he didn’t want to knock. Inside was dark so he shuffled along hoping not to bump into anything, especially the cement legged chair he always—
“Ow. Fuck!” That thing had it out for him. He patted the backrest, hoping that playing nice with it would help next time. If he got a next time. “So we meet again. Nice, nice chair. We’ll talk later about why you hate me so much.”
Thinking only of checking on Natalie, Harry hobbled to her bedroom. In the hallway, he opened a drawer in the little table at the end which was made to resemble a stack of old timey leather suitcases complete with travel visa stickers. He grabbed the keys to her cabin and slid the drawer shut.
Her bedroom door wasn’t closed all the way and when he pushed it open more, she flipped the covers down. The nightlight from the bathroom revealed her wearing a thin nightshirt and even with her lying on her back, she had a slight raised bump in her belly. Hella sexy. “Is it all right if I…?”
“You can come to bed if you want,” she said.
He slipped into the room, shucked his jacket, and dropped it on the floor. Kicking off his shoes, he unbuttoned the first two buttons on his shirt and pulled it over his head. A second later, the shirt joined his coat. Then Harry got rid of his pants and boxers.
Now naked, he approached the bed, hesitating before climbing in. Her silence was her way of giving him permission for sex. His body tightened with needy lust and he breathed hard. He laid out next to her, placing a hand on her lower abdomen. His baby was snug inside there. The thought brought a smile to his face.
“Thanks for checking on me,” he whispered. She didn’t say anything, and he couldn’t stand the quiet. “I’m sor—”
“Shhh…not now.”
They rolled on their sides, facing each other. Harry ran his hand up her thigh, under her shirt. The smooth, soft skin of her hip met his palm and he lingered there, eventually cupping her bottom. Her chin quivered as he kissed her on the lips. Was she crying? And if she was, he’d made that happen.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Please don’t talk. Make love to me, even if you don’t mean it.”
“I always mean it.” His chest constricted. Fear sliced his heart in two. He didn’t want to lose her. Giving her what she wanted right now scared him. What did that say about him? He could take advantage of her vulnerability? Oh, who was he kidding? Harry was at the disadvantage here. She held all the aces. Natalie had his love, his soul, his body, and his baby.
Sitting up, she took her shirt off. In the dim light, he saw her breasts sway and touched them gently as they were likely more sensitive from the pregnancy.
She gasped. “Sorry,” he breathed and retracted his hand.
“Don’t stop, I was enjoying that.” She wove her fingers through his and held his hand to her chest.
He played some more and she laid back down. “How are you feeling?”
“Are you still attracted to me?”
“God, yes…feel.” Natalie put her hand where he wanted it. “I hope there’s no question now.”
She giggled under her breath. “I’m going to get fat, you know.”
“Doubtful. And besides…” She kissed him, cutting off his words. “You’re beautiful.” Not wanting to put pressure on her stomach, he knelt between her legs. He rubbed her split thighs, inching toward where he wanted himself. Resting on his hands, he loomed over her.
“Be careful…”
“I won’t put my full weight on you. I’ve done this before, remember?” He cringed after the words left his mouth. Christ, how dumb was he? “Sor—”
“Good, because I can’t stand anything touching my stomach.”
“Maybe it’s better you turn around,” he said, sitting up on his heels. She rolled over and rose to her hands and knees. He pulled her up until her back was to his front, and kissed her neck, caressed her breasts.
“So, um, are we ever going to do this?” she teased.
“You told me to make love to you, right?”
“Yeah, but I’m a knocked-up horny person.”
They both laughed, although he wondered if this reprieve from their estrangement was merely about the sex for her. “Yes, ma’am. Let’s not keep you waiting any longer.”
She eased back to her hands. Harry’s legs went jelly on him for a moment when he brought them together, as if his insides melted. He froze, his body oversensitive. Too stimulated.
“Is something the matter?” Natalie asked. Her voice carried a hint of insecurity with it.
Harry blew out a steadying breath. “No…I need you to be still for a sec though.”
“Like this?” She wiggled her butt.
“Not…like that,” he eked, clutching her hips. Pulling back, he exhaled slowly. “You’re so sexy.” Harry finally got his excitement under control and made love to his girlfriend. The entire time he concentrated on the feel of her. The noises she made. He refused to believe they were having break-up sex, even though he feared the truth. She was through with him. Over his late nights working and moodiness from the stress of his latest case. Every case. He’d been such a prick, who could blame her? Maybe he should buy her a new house, one where they would each get a start fresh without the memories of Annie and her ex-husband lingering in the air. Or maybe he should demand the department hire another detective to take on some of the case load, a partner he’d be able to rely on when he needed time off.