“He is really sweet. Pulling out chairs, opening car doors,” I say, remembering lunch yesterday. “Evan never did any of that.” Ugh, she lands on Free Parking. I never land on Free Parking. Rolling doubles, she goes again.
“Evan is a douche bag. You need someone who will treat you right. Besides, Chase is much hotter than Evan and has more money.” B&O Railroad. She passes, my turn.
“The money thing bothers me. I’m sure he’s dated girls that had money too. I’m broke.” Speaking of broke, I land on Community Chest. I have to pay the hospital a hundred dollars. Jeez, I’m even broke in pretend life.
She chuckles. “Yup, broke is an understatement.” I glance over at her, eyes narrowed. She laughs harder. “Don’t sweat it. He doesn’t seem to care.”
“The boat, lunch, it’s all a lot to take in.”
“Will you relax? Take it day by day and have a good time.” Sure, she just landed on Pennsylvania Avenue. She’s going to be a land baron, and I’m going to be broke.
“You don’t think it’s too soon, that I’m jumping into something? I don’t want him to be the rebound guy.”
“Do you like him?” she asks.
“Yes,” I mutter softly, a flush covering my cheeks.
“So, what’s there to think about?” She narrows her eyes. “It’s not as if Evan died or something. You left his sorry ass.”
“I just don’t want to jump into anything too soon or lead Chase on.” I try not to sound too petulant.
“Stop worrying about everyone else and have some fun for once.” Just as she says that, the lights go out. So much for TV. At least we can still play by candlelight.
“I’ll light a few candles,” I announce. I grab some scented candles and place them on the kitchen counter. I am a sucker for candles and have every scent imaginable. I light a pumpkin spice and a vanilla biscotti and spread them around the living room. It’s not totally dark since it’s only noon but dark enough.
“This does suck. It’s raining too hard to go anywhere so we’re stuck here without power.”
“Too early to start drinking too,” she says. This would be the perfect type of day to lay around with your man. Except I don’t have a man and if I did, he isn’t even on the island.
“I wonder if Chase is back yet.” My roll lands me on B&O Railroad. Thank the Lord she didn’t purchase that. I pass. I need to save my money for more important property.
“Why don’t you go check?”
“Dressed like this, are you crazy?”
“If he’s attracted to you in sweats, you’ve got a keeper.” Her smile is bright. I think she’s laughing at me. I give her a death stare. She’s right, though. The only way to find out if he’s back is to go over there.
Remembering I didn’t bring an umbrella, I grab a plastic bag, cover my head and run out the front door down and around the walk to his door. Thank the Lord he’s next door. I knock and wait. And wait. I knock again but nothing. Either everyone is still sleeping from a late night of partying, or they went out. I run back to the house.
“So?” Brenda inquires. She is now on Boardwalk. Damn, I never get to own that property.
“No answer.” I’m trying not to feel affronted.
“The weather is horrible, and the bay is really choppy. Maybe he hasn’t been able to come back yet.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I miss him, more than I should. He’s really gotten under my skin the past few days. Brenda is right. I need to stop stressing myself out worrying about what everyone else will think and just go for it. Chase could be my shining knight, or he could be a welcome distraction. I need to give him the benefit of the doubt, as well as myself.
“We still have battery power in the Bose, and my iPod is fully charged. At least there’s music,” I say encouraged. She just stares at me. Finally, she rolls her eyes, shrugs, and settles in to the couch.
“So pick something upbeat. The weather is depressing enough. Don’t make your music choice make me want to kill myself.” She gives a flamboyant wave toward the Bose. I grab my iPod and scroll down the song list. She wants upbeat, she’ll get upbeat. I click on my dance mix folder and select random then hit play. Kat DeLuna starts off the mix with “Stars.” Now that is an upbeat song. I flop down on the other side of the couch and tap my feet while we continue the never-ending game.
After five hours of Monopoly with no end in sight, and two bottles of wine later, the power finally comes back on around dinner. Good thing, because my Bose and iPod died a couple of hours ago, and I can’t play any more Monopoly. It’s still raining out, but the wind has died down and the lightning is less frequent. You can almost see the sun trying to peek out from behind the clouds.
“We could make a run for the Casino Café for dinner,” I suggest.
“Anything is better than staying here. I need to get out,” Brenda whines.
“Alright, but we can’t go dressed like this,” I wave in the direction of my sweats. She nods her head in agreement and goes to change. I follow suit.
Now that we no longer look like vagrants, we head over to the Casino Café, the restaurant side of the bar. It’s pretty busy. I guess everyone had the same idea as we did. I put our name on the waiting list. Since it’s raining, we can’t sit outside, so we take a seat at the bar and wait for a table to open up.
Looking over the drink menu takes no time, there aren’t too many choices. I order a bottle of Charles Krug, Napa Sauvignon Blanc and ask for a dinner menu.
It’s not a big place, therefore, not too many choices for dinner. I decide on either the lobster roll or fish tacos. Brenda is opting for the pear and pecan salad.
Approximately one hour and a bottle of wine later, we are seated. It made the waitress’s job easy since we ordered as soon as we sat down. I favored the fish tacos over the lobster roll.
“I’m going back tomorrow,” Brenda announces.
“You are?” I’m a bit surprised.
“I came to make sure you were okay, and you look fine to me now.”
“Yes, I’m fine.”
“Good. I need to do a few things at home before I go back to work.”
“I think I might head back early too, not much else to do here.”
“Let me know when. I can find room on the schedule to fit you in if you want.”
“Maybe, we’ll see,” I murmur, not quite sure if I’m ready to go back to Anthony’s. There are too many regulars who know Evan, or at least have seen us together. Evan spent way too much time at the restaurant. He would come in after his construction jobs if I was working, have a few beers, and talk to my regulars. I should just rip the band-aid off so to speak rather than a little at a time. Get it over with.
Our dinner comes quick considering how crowded it is. It looks fantastic. We dive in since now we’re starving. It is delicious.
“Which ferry are you taking back?” I ask in between bites.
“I’m not sure, gonna play it by ear. If it’s nice, we can hit the beach first.”
“Yes, beach,” I concur. It stops raining, and the sun has come out from hiding. I can just about see it setting over the bay. Yes, I can use some beach time with my bestie and do absolutely nothing.
“Call me when you decide if you’re going to work at all this summer,” Brenda shouts down from the top of the ferry.
“Okay, text me later,” I yell back. She disappears from my view.
I turn and walk back toward the cottage. I am debating if I should go back early as well. It’s not as much fun by myself, and there’s no one here to play with. Well, no one I want to play with at least. Any friends from when I was growing up have either moved away or their parents sold their summer houses. Now, it’s new families with their young kids taking over the beach.
Chase still isn’t back, and he’s only here until Sunday anyway. With my sulking period over, I am now bored. And as much as I hate to say it, there is only so much beach I can take. Working would be a good distraction, and I can use the money.
/>
I’m lucky that I can take these vacations. I’ve been dorming for the past six years and spent the summers at home. My mom told me that with the pension she gets from my father she can pay for an apartment for about a year. She wants me to get a good job and save as much as I can. I have until then before I have to start fending for myself, so anything I can save now would be fantastic.
I still haven’t decided what I want to do with my degree. I applied with the NYSDEC, NOAA and Atlantis Marine World, but I haven’t heard anything back from any of them. I have been looking at apartments too, but I can’t choose one until I know where I’m working. I get back to the cottage and decide to head to the mainland on Monday.
The next few days I spend relaxing on the beach. Chase hasn’t returned. I wonder if I was just some kind of conquest, or if he’ll actually be back before I leave. I haven’t received any messages from his buddies next door either. He would be leaving tomorrow, so it’s pointless to come back now. I regret not giving him my cell number. Hindsight is twenty-twenty.
I lie on the beach and replay all of the events from the past couple of weeks. I can’t help but think about the way he makes me feel special and wanted. He puts me into his sexual thrall; his kisses are like shockwaves down my body sending spikes of pleasure everywhere. I know he felt it too. It’s like electricity when we touch, a charge I can feel. He is everything I want in a man. The only thing that bothers me is that he was brought up rich. Not that anyone can tell as he’s very polite and doesn’t flaunt his wealth.
I just don’t know if I can fit into that world. I like that he wants to spend money on me, but I don’t know if I can be comfortable with that on a permanent basis. I was brought up to not take charity from anyone, to work hard for what I have. I never want to become dependent on anyone, ever. Even with Evan, he wouldn’t have made enough money for us to have lived comfortably. Well, there really is no reason for me to worry about this now. There’s no sign of Chase.
I start to straighten up the cottage. I place an ad in the local paper to rent out the house for the rest of the summer, and a charming family picks it up for two weeks. Another family that I know from here had friends that were looking for a house, so they pick up two weeks as well.
My mom used to take care of renting the cottage out for the last two weeks of the summer, but since my father died, she wants no part of the beach. It’s sad. We spent so many fantastic times here, but she can’t get past it. All she sees are ghosts. So now I have the responsibility of making sure it’s rented for the season. At least the weeks I’m not here. At twenty five hundred dollars a week, the extra two weeks income will be a pleasant surprise for her.
I pack up anything I brought with me, which doesn’t amount to much. I clean out the fridge and pantry, straighten out the bedrooms. By Monday, this place will look like no one had been here all summer. I opt to take a break, grab a beer, and head outside.
The sun has started to set and the color of the sky is spectacular. I sigh. I look out over the ocean and watch the waves roll onto the beach below. As much as I hate to admit it, it’s time to get back to reality. I can always come back over for a day or two before the summer is over. Maybe next year, I’ll have someone to share this amazing view with.
The girl working the ferry helps me load all of my crap onto the ten forty five. It’s another beautiful day, but I need to go home. I still have my mom to deal with. Ugh. I head up to the top of the Nicolet and sit. I haven’t spoken to her since before Evan and I split up. This is not going to be a fun conversation. She really likes Evan, I mean REALLY likes him. He was always very cordial and overly polite to her. I think in some ways Evan reminds her of my father. They don’t look similar, but they do have some of the same mannerisms.
I’m sure she’ll find a way to blame me for our ultimate demise. I’m not going to dwell on it though. I choose to take the high road and just focus on the water.
We dock back in Patchogue, and I wheel all of my belongings over to my Jeep. I have a green 2007 Jeep Wrangler Sahara. I love convertibles and I love trucks, so I combined the two with this beast. It’s a four door that makes it easy to get my books and other crap in and out of the truck.
I unlock the Jeep and throw my possessions into the back seat. I unzip the windows and sides of the soft top and roll it down. I love driving the Jeep with the top down. I have a hard top for it, but I never get around to putting it back on for the winter. Once the top is down, I climb in. Starting the truck, I turn the radio on, pull out of the lot, and head to face the inevitable uncomfortable conversation that awaits me at home.
I pull into my driveway to see that my mom’s car isn’t here. Whew. Crisis averted for now, but I can’t avoid her forever. I grab my stuff and drag it into the house. I go into the kitchen and look around for any sign of where she might have gone. I’m sure she’ll be back soon, so I take a nice long hot shower.
I come out of the bathroom and change. Grab a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and make my way into the kitchen. My mother is sitting at the kitchen island waiting for me.
“Hi,” I say, wary.
“Hi.” Her voice is cool, her expression guarded and unreadable.
“When did you get home?” I ask.
“Just now.” I walk around her to the fridge and grab a soda. “Why haven’t you called me?” she asks sounding wounded.
“Oh, Mom, I didn’t want to talk about it. I still don’t. Please just let it go, I’m fine,” I plead, but I know she isn’t going to let this go.
“But honey, you ran away. What did Evan do that was so bad? He’s such a nice boy.”
“Mom, please just let it go.”
“No, you need to tell me what happened.” She’s insistent, and I know this will not end well.
“He cheated on me.” There, I said it.
“What? How do you know? Someone is spreading rumors, I’m sure. You know how all those other girls were so jealous of what you two have.”
Evan and I started dating our last year of high school. All through high school, he had a thing for me, but I wasn’t interested. I thought he was pompous. He was also a bit of a playboy. I don’t know why I didn’t see his flirty ways then. He eventually won me over, but quite a few of his exes were not happy with his choice in me. They made comments about how I wasn’t good enough for him, or I was a prude since I was a virgin. It never really bothered me, but it bothered my mom.
“I saw him with my own eyes. He was having sex with my roommate.” I sound bitter.
“I’m sure it wasn’t what you thought, maybe your mind was playing tricks. Too much studying will do that you know.” Wow, she is in denial.
“No, Mom, I know what I saw.” I can see her eyes start to tear up. “Look, we’re over, there’ll be someone else.”
“But he was such a good boy,” she says through tears.
“No, Mom, he wasn’t,” I scream. “If he was so good, why was he fucking Brandi?” I take my soda and storm off into my room, slamming the door.
I throw myself onto my bed and bury my face in the pillow. Anytime Evan and I got into a fight about anything, she always took his side. I never understood why. It was somehow my fault. I didn’t pay enough attention to him, I didn’t spend enough time with him, or we didn’t go anywhere. Well this was definitely not my fault. Or at least I keep telling myself that.
She knocks on the door and lets herself in. Comes over and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry,” she says, I’m sure to try and appease me. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I mutter through the pillow.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” I turn my head from the inside of the pillow to look at her. She looks contrite, her lower lip trembling. I sit up. “Mom, he was wrong. I can’t be with someone I don’t trust.”
“I know, I’m just surprised,” she concedes.
“Not as surprised as I am.”
“I thought that you two were the real thing. Your father liked h
im too . . .” she trails off. Anytime she mentions Dad she starts sobbing.
“Mom . . . don’t.” I try to avoid the inevitable.
“They went to Yankee games together . . .” and the tears start falling.
“Please, Mom. I miss Dad too.” She looks at me, tears streaming down her face. Trying to control herself, she gets up and walks out of my room.
I sigh. Deep down she’s blaming me for Evan. That somehow, this too is my fault. She doesn’t even realize she’s doing it. She hasn’t been the same since my father died. They were the loves of each other’s lives. When he died, a part of her died with him. I think because Evan spent so much time with my dad, that by ending things with him, another piece of my father is gone for her. At least, that’s my working theory.
Evan was like a son to him. Evan didn’t spend much time with his own father; he was verbally and sometimes physically abusive. He spent more time here than I did. I just hope that my mom can get past her feelings for Evan and understand that I’m not doing this to hurt her.
She’s going to be despondent for at least an hour. I know she’ll see past it, but I can’t deal with her pettiness right now. I decide that I need to get out of the house. I grab my keys and head out the door.
I’m driving around without a destination and wind up at Anthony’s. I pull in and park. It’s early evening on a Monday so the restaurant is pretty quiet. I walk in and take a seat at the bar. Brenda is across the restaurant and sees me come in. She finishes what she’s doing and wanders over.
“Hey, lady.”
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Same shit, different day. What are you doing home?” she asks suspiciously.
“I was bored without you,” I tease.
“Yeah right. Really, why are you here?”
“You said if I wanted to work a few days to call you. Well, here I am in person.” I paste a mischievous smile on my lips.
Drawn to You Page 10