by Glynis Astie
I felt a pang of sympathy. How could I have been such a jackass? My poor sister was going through so much and all I could think about was how she wasn’t helping me. I had some serious growing up to do.
“Try not to worry, Kate.” This sounded bizarre coming out of my mouth, but it was the truth. “You’re almost there. Everything will be fine. Remember, Nick and I are here to take care of you.” Though Nick had really been bearing the brunt of it lately. I had let him down too. That changes right now.
Kate blew her nose. “Ugh. I have to go to the bathroom again. Will you please help me up?”
I got up from my chair and gently brought her up to a standing position. She winced in pain for a second and almost immediately her features smoothed out. “It’s getting harder and harder to stand up, Syd. This sucks!”
I was about to say something supportive to her when an expletive burst from her mouth. It seems Pregnant Kate swears like a sailor. Regular Kate would definitely not approve.
“Shit! I leaked again. I swear, pregnancy is a bitch on your body. I’m going to have to do a massive amount of kegel exercises to be able to stop from peeing myself after the baby is born.”
Oh, man. “I’m sorry, Kate. Do you want me to take you home?” Pregnancy really is a bitch, not my sister.
She exhaled loudly. “No need. I carry an extra change of clothes in my bag.” She hefted her enormous pregnancy tote. “This isn’t the first time.”
“Do you want me to carry your bag? Help you change?”
She laughed. “No, I got it, Syd. I’ll be right back. Oh, would you please ask the waitress to have someone wipe down my chair? I’ll have to leave an extra big tip…”
I was about to flag down the waitress when I turned my head to look at Kate walking away. Something wasn’t right. She was leaving a trail of liquid behind her as she was walking to the bathroom. How could she not notice?
I quickly walked after her, being careful not to slip in her backwash. I gently tapped her on the shoulder. “Um….Kate?”
She jumped and turned to me. “Syd! I told you I don’t need any help.”
“Um….” I stammered. “I think your water just broke.”
She glared at me incredulously. “Don’t you think I’d know if it did?”
I breathed deeply. “Humor me and look behind you, towards our table.”
She carefully turned her head and suddenly became very pale. I held out my arms for her before she fainted. “Don’t worry, Kate. You’re officially in labor. No big deal.” I shook my head. “I’m going to take you to the hospital, OK?”
She beheld me with her deer-caught-in-headlights face and nodded almost imperceptibly. I took her tote bag, steered her back to the table slowly and grabbed my purse. I emptied the entire contents of my wallet onto the table (because can you really leave TOO much money as a thank you for cleaning up amniotic fluid?) and moved Kate towards the door.
Ten minutes later, we were in the car on the way to the hospital. Kate was wrapped in the emergency blanket I kept in my trunk and Nick and Kate’s doctor were going to meet us in the labor and delivery unit. Kate and I were practicing her breathing rather than talking. “Hee hee, hoo. Hee, hoo.” It was pretty catchy! Kate’s contractions were ten minutes apart, so she wasn’t in any danger of giving birth in the car, but we were both very anxious to get to the hospital. Neither one of us had any first-hand experience with the birth of a baby and we wanted the experts on the case as soon as possible. Sooner.
As we pulled up to the emergency room, I spotted Nick pacing back and forth while wringing his hands. When he caught sight of my car, he ran over and starting opening the door before I had come to a complete stop. This didn’t bode well for the rest of the birthing experience. I really thought Nick was going to be the calm one in this situation. It would seem this role had fallen on me. I resolved not to fail this time. I would keep it together for the two of them. Somebody had to, right?
After Nick had safely transferred Kate from the car to the awaiting wheel chair, she looked at me with fear in her eyes. I got out of the car, despite the dirty look from the security guard, ran to her and hugged her gently.
“Don’t worry.” I whispered. “You can do this.” I kissed her gently on the forehead.
She smiled weakly. “Please call Mom and Dad. Oh and Charlie and Zoe. And then get your ass up to the labor and delivery suite ASAP. I need you to hold my hand.”
Nick regarded me with a nervous smile. “Relax, Kate. Syd is about to be an aunt. She wouldn’t miss this for the world.” Then he gave me a hug and whispered, “She’s probably going to break your hand, so be sure to give her your left…”
With a smile frozen on my face, I waved good-bye to them and jumped back into my car. I quickly drove over to the visitor’s parking lot, found a space and turned off the car. I took a quick minute to collect myself. I inhaled and exhaled deeply five times and then counted to ten. You can do this, Sydney!
I yanked my cell phone out of my purse and quickly made my phone calls. My parents were the definition of excited (particularly my mom, who hung up on me so she could call the airline to move her flight up since the baby was a few days early) and Charlie and Zoe gave me a quick pep talk for the delivery room. All four of them had made me promise to call the moment the baby was born.
As I rode up in the elevator, it occurred to me I had forgotten to call Louis. Shit! When was I going to start thinking like a wife? Your husband is pretty high on the priority list for matters like these. Concerned I had already taken too long to get to my anxious sister, I quickly texted Louis the details and promptly turned my phone off. Kate needed my complete focus right now.
However, despite my best efforts, I couldn’t shake the concern from my mind about forgetting to tell Louis. I knew I was legitimately under pressure in getting Kate to the hospital, but I had honestly almost forgotten to call him. Where was the strong bond we had? We had barely seen each other over the past couple of weeks. Was this the direction our marriage was heading in? Or was this just a rough patch? With all these questions and more, I exited the elevator and went in search of Kate. I pushed my thoughts aside, fully aware that my marital concerns were simply not relevant right now. There was a baby on the way and I couldn’t wait to meet her. Or him!
Chapter Five
At two thirteen the next morning, Kate, Nick and I were introduced to Samantha Erin Wilson. I was so tired, I thought I was going to die, so I could only imagine how Kate felt since she had done all the work. The only pain I had was radiating from what used to be my left hand. (Thanks for the tip, Nick!) Even though Kate had been given an epidural, the medication had run out in the height of labor and it wasn’t possible to give her anything else. I’m now officially petrified of giving birth. Maybe Louis and I can adopt…
On the positive side, I’ve never seen Kate and Nick so happy and they are pretty much happiness personified. Samantha, hereafter known as Sam, was absolutely perfect. Even her little cries were perfect. Not that I was biased or anything. Aunts are known to be very objective, you know. We’re much more clearheaded and impartial than say, parents or grandparents. I would really be able to serve as an incredible resource for Kate and Nick along the journey of raising this flawless angel.
I was very proud to have remembered to text Louis about the birth of our niece as soon as I was able to get my hands on a phone. He must have been sleeping (an odd idea for four in the morning, right?), since I didn’t hear back from him until three hours later. By then I had heard from my mom, who made me promise to remember to pick her up from the airport the following afternoon, from Maya who requested a picture and from Charlie and Zoe who were already planning to visit next month with my dad tagging along. It clearly took a very important event to get these die-hard New Yorkers to venture to the west coast. The next time we would see them on this coast would be for my perfect wedding. If I could pull it off.
It was late in the afternoon by the time Louis arrived at the hospital. We
had spoken briefly that morning, when he informed me he had to teach through the early afternoon, but would head to the hospital as soon as he could. I found myself rather resentful of his inability to find someone to cover for him during such an important time for my family; I mean OUR family. He had married me, after all, and now had a significant role to play. Being an uncle for the first time was a pivotal event in a man’s life and I didn’t feel he was taking his responsibilities very seriously. Why did everything have to feel so hard?
As I stood in front of the main entrance of the hospital, I wondered what it would take for me to feel connected to Louis again. I missed the closeness we had experienced from early on in our relationship. He was always so calm and supportive of me. He broke down my walls and got me to trust him, in record time no less. (Note: I proposed to HIM after six short weeks…following his suggestion of a trip to Vegas.) He was the first man who accepted me exactly as I was. And this is no small feat, let me tell you. You have only heard a modicum of the crazy which exists in my head.
For the last few months, Louis had become very introspective and well…cranky. I was trying to be understanding because I knew he was going through a difficult time, but my patience was wearing very thin. Now that I was an aunt, and the only relative Kate and Nick had in the immediate area, demands on my time and ever shrinking brain functioning were only going to get worse. How was I going to handle everything when I didn’t have Louis to rely on? It was an incredibly selfish thought to have when he was going through such a hard time, but there it is. He married a selfish woman.
I sat down on a bench and put my head in my hands. As I prayed for some kind of miracle to ease my mounting sense of anxiety, and let’s face it, despair, I heard Louis’ voice.
“Mon coeur!”
I peeked up and tried to smile. There was no question I was deliriously happy about the birth of my niece, but it was easy to be distracted by all the difficulties I had been facing shortly before this joyous event.
Louis seemed concerned. “Are you alright?”
I sighed heavily. “I’m exhausted.”
He pulled me to my feet and hugged me. “I have missed you.”
“You have?” Oh my God! I was so tired, I actually said that out loud. Crap! Is it terrible to have had such a thought? He hasn’t been himself lately. I wondered if he had changed his mind about me. Though the joke was on him if he had, since he had already married me….
Louis pulled out of the hug and put his hands on my shoulders. He gazed so deeply into my eyes, for such a long time, I began to feel uncomfortable. “Why would you say such a thing, Sydney?”
My eyes darted around the hospital entrance. “Um, I’m sorry. I’m exhausted...”
He regarded me sternly. “You have not given me enough of an explanation. What is going on?”
Shit. I really didn’t want to have this conversation, oh EVER. But now is simply not a good time since I can’t form coherent thoughts. Sleep deprivation does nasty things to people.
I closed my eyes and slumped my shoulders. “Louis, I… can’t think right now. I’m really worn-out.” Tears spilled down my cheeks before I could stop them.
Louis lifted my chin up and waited for me to open my eyes. This is a nasty trick he pulls to keep me from avoiding answering one of his questions. I fall for it every time. His gaze is so intense, I have to tell the truth.
Resigned to my fate, I opened my eyes and met his gaze. The expression on his face was not at all what I had expected. He seemed more vulnerable and dejected than I had ever seen him. Seeing him like this caused even more tears to flow. I threw my arms around him and hugged him as tightly as I could.
“I love you so much, Bluey. I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you. I’ve been so caught up in my job and wedding planning and Kate and Nick…the list is endless. I’m so sorry that I’ve let you down. I’m an awful wife.”
Ever to catch me by surprise, Louis cracked up. I freed him from my embrace and peered at him with my tearstained face. The look on my face pretty much said, “What the fuck?”
He bit his lip to curb his laughter, while studying me cautiously. “No, I am sorry, mon coeur.”
I looked at him quizzically. “Why would you be sorry?” Seriously, what had he done? Oh my God! Did he cheat on me? I’m going to kill him!
Louis laughed. “Syd! Stop letting your mind run wild.” He sighed. “I am sorry for letting you down. I have not provided for you as a husband should. I have…spent too much time feeling sorry for myself and have taken out my frustration at not being able to find a job on you. I haven’t been fair to you.”
I was shocked. I had been a complete bitch and here was my husband apologizing to me? This feeling sorry for myself bullshit had to stop now. I had to start taking care of my husband.
I put my hand on the side of his face. “Please stop. You haven’t done anything wrong. I’ve been very selfish. I haven’t been taking care of you.” Louis shook his head. “Just listen. I know you come from a very traditional family and you think it’s your job to take care of me, but you must understand that you married an American woman, my friend. In my family, husbands and wives take care of each other. Whether or not you realize it, you need for me to take care of you.”
He smiled at me. “You will have to be patient with me. I am not good at accepting help from other people. Especially someone I love as much as I love you.”
I grinned at him. “I’ve really missed you.” Suddenly I remembered I had told Kate I would be back upstairs in twenty minutes, which was at least forty-five minutes ago. “Crap! I have to get back to Kate!”
Louis took my hand and led me into the hospital lobby. “You go up to see Kate. I want to go by the gift shop and buy her some flowers. I hope they have tulips!”
White tulips were Kate’s favorite flowers, a detail which had stayed in Louis’s mind since he first met her six months ago. His capacity for important details was amazing. I reminded him of Kate’s room number, kissed him quickly on the lips and ran for the elevator. Nick had gone home to grab a few things for Kate, so she had no one to take care of her other than the overworked nursing staff. She had been a mother for less than twenty-four hours and needed intensive TLC.
I arrived at her room in two minutes flat to find her softly snoring. Baby Sam was sleeping next to Kate’s bed in her little hospital bassinette. What a beautiful picture they made. I found myself tearing up again and started to chuckle. Not fifteen minutes ago I was in tears because I felt my life had become almost unbearable. Right in front of my face were two very important reasons for me to feel incredibly lucky, not to mention the reason which had just come up behind me.
“Are they both asleep?” Louis whispered.
I turned to face him and beamed. “Aren’t they gorgeous?”
His face lit up in wonder. “Indeed they are. Not as gorgeous as you, but don’t tell Nick I said that.” He kissed me tenderly and rubbed my back.
“What shouldn’t she tell Nick?” We were both startled to find Nick bustling into the room with three large duffel bags.
As I wondered what he could possibly have packed in these three enormous bags, I heard a voice behind me.
“Hey, everybody.” Kate smiled sleepily from her bed.
Nick seemed petrified. “Did we wake you?”
“No, Pookie, you didn’t.” She continued to smile. I took this as a good sign. Motherhood was agreeing with her so far. I hoped Perfect Kate (also known as Regular Kate) was on already her way back to us.
While Nick and Kate caught up, Louis found a vase for the beautiful floral arrangement he had brought for her. He had selected white tulips, blue irises (a nod to his wife’s favorite flower) and eucalyptus leaves. When he brought them into the room, Kate brightened and held out her arms.
“Oooh, those are gorgeous. Are they for me?”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Silly woman, who else would they be for?”
She squealed quietly with delight. “My first ho
spital flowers! I love them! Thank you, Louis!”
Louis cleared his throat. “You are too kind, Kate, but the flowers are from your husband. He asked me to find a vase for him while he brought up your bags.” He had quickly assessed poor Nick had not had time to buy flowers for his wife and had generously covered for him.
It took me a moment to catch up since due to the lack of sleep. Once my active thought process had engaged, I piped in. “Don’t worry, Kate. We’ll bring you your second flower arrangement.”
Nick glanced back and forth between me and Louis with gratitude in his eyes. It’s a wonder he had survived the last few months of Kate’s pregnancy and this was the very least we could do to help him.
Since Nick seemed to be at a loss for words, I decided to bring up the matter of most concern to me at that moment. “Is anyone hungry?”
Louis laughed. “I imagine it has been more than two hours since you last ate?” He always joked I had to be fed every two hours or my mood was intolerable. In direct opposition to my pride, I would have to agree with his assessment.
I cocked my head to the side. “I have no idea when I ate last. The only thing I remember is stale saltines.” I wrinkled my nose.
Kate put her hand to her head dramatically. “How have you survived?”
I smirked. “I honestly have no idea. I’ve never gone this long without eating. You must be pretty important to me.”
She threw back her head and laughed quietly. “You kill me, Syd.”
Louis came over and put his arms around my waist. “Why don’t we go get something for everyone to eat?” He eyed Nick. “I am sure you must be pretty hungry at this point, man.”
Nick ran his hands through his disheveled hair. “I’d kill for a burger.”
I squeezed Louis’ hand. “OK. We’re on it. The usual?”
Nick smiled. After all the years of knowing him, I had learned his detailed food preferences. “Please.” He thought for a moment. “Extra fries would be great.”