I was grounded for the first week because I got a detention thanks to our lunchtime excursion, but thankfully, my parents don’t know why I was late to class. I actually did use the period excuse with my mom, and it worked like a charm. I said I was too embarrassed to say something in class, so point for Todd. Our lunch was totally worth a detention, and being grounded gave me the perfect excuse for Casey. Therefore, the first week was easy to avoid, but it became increasingly more difficult to come up with excuses.
The next week, I used the bad cramps excuse with Casey. Good thing none of these people talk to one another about my menstrual cycle. Then there was a big paper due and then a huge test, and that brings me to tonight. I figured washing my hair wasn’t really a viable excuse, but I was just short of using that one.
There is a huge party that someone from Casey’s school is organizing, so we are going to dinner—painful—and then to the party—even more painful.
I just keep telling myself to make it through dinner, and then I’ll be home free. I like Casey. I like spending time with him, but I hate that he thinks Todd and I are broken up and I can’t tell him the truth.
Ryan and Brian are taking Todd out tonight to keep him distracted, to which I am grateful. I wish I was going out with Sid and Shane, though.
The hate for my dad just keeps growing.
***
I’m sitting across the table from Casey. I see his lips moving, but I don’t hear the words coming out of his mouth. Well, I hear them; I just don’t comprehend them. I can’t stop thinking about Todd. I want to know what he is doing right now. I try to pretend that I’m here at Olive’s with him, but when I open my eyes, it’s still Casey.
“Ashley, what’s going on with you? You’ve been practically avoiding me for the past three weeks. I’ve never seen you scurry out of practice so quickly.”
I hear those words and absorb them, and when my eyes connect with his, I notice how intently he’s studying me. I don’t want to hurt him, and I don’t want to lead him on. I’m using him to appease my parents, and it’s wrong. I need to tell him the truth.
Then I hear Todd in my head, and I know I can’t. I care about Casey, yet I don’t trust him. He will tell my dad the truth if he knows, because for some reason, he sees me as a conquest.
I look down at the tablecloth and start to study the pieces of cracked bread littering the pristine white cloth. I will do anything to avoid locking eyes with Casey.
“I told you. I’m not over him.”
He reaches his hand across the table, his thumb gently caressing mine. “Why? I’m here, sitting right across from you. Be here with me. Be in this moment. I like you. You know that. That’s one thing I’ve never hidden from you. I know you have feelings for me, too. Don’t fight them anymore.”
I feel the sweat on my palms. I wasn’t expecting this. I wasn’t expecting Casey to be so honest, so upfront. I don’t know why, though. It is Casey, after all.
My mouth is dry, and I don’t think I can speak, even if I knew what to say.
“Ashley, it’s done with Todd. Forget him. Be with me.”
“Um … Excuse me.” I push back my chair so quickly I almost take out a waiter carrying a whole tray of food. I need the bathroom, right now.
Another waiter must see my panicked look, because he points me in the direction of the ladies room.
Once I’m safely inside, I lose it. The tears won’t stop pouring out. I need Todd. I need to hear his voice. I do care about Casey, but only as a friend. Todd will know what to do.
Before I know it, his phone is ringing, but instead of Todd’s voice, I hear Ryan’s.
“Aren’t you on a date? You really shouldn’t be calling your ex-boyfriend.”
“Funny. Put Todd on. Actually, wait, how is he?”
“About as good as you. Man, you two make me sick. And that is said with love,” Ryan quips.
“Just put him on the phone, please.”
I hear a scuffle before I hear his voice. “Hi, Ash. How’s it going?”
“Well, I’ve locked myself in the bathroom to call you, so I’d say it’s going great.” I try to disguise my voice to mask my tears, but I know it’s not working.
“Hang in there, Ash. It’s one night, one date. I hate that you are there with him, but if it buys us time and distracts your parents, it’s worth it.”
I listen to his words and I hear them, but I hate them almost as much as I hate my parents for not trusting me.
I wipe my tears with the back of my hand to try to make the reflection in the mirror look human again. I can’t bring myself to form words yet without sounding like a blubbering idiot.
“I love you. Just remember that. One step at a time.” His voice resonates through me.
I take a deep breath. “I love you, too. I needed to hear your voice. It’s just hard, because Casey thinks we’re broken up, and he keeps saying I should forget you and be with him.”
I hear cursing and then the phone slam down. Then I hear Ryan’s muffled voice and Todd say, “I’m gonna kill him.” I can’t make out what Ryan is saying. I know it’s his voice, though, and I can tell he’s trying to calm Todd down.
“Ashley?” Ryan’s voice comes back on the phone.
“Yeah?”
“Maybe you can spare the details.” The anger in Ryan’s voice is clear, and I know he’s right. “He’s ready to come there and kill Casey, and we all know that is a bad idea.” The way he says it lets me know he’s staring Todd down. “We’re going out to the field for a pick-up football game. Just finish your date, okay?”
I know exactly what he means without him saying the words—stop calling. So I will. I need to go out there and be on my date with Casey. I will eat dinner and then go home. That’s it.
As soon as I approach the table, Casey stands up, his eyes studying me.
“Are you okay?” he asks as I sit down, and he follows my lead.
I merely nod my head.
“I’m sorry, Ashley. I know the break up is still fresh. Maybe I was laying it on too thick. I’ll stop.”
My eyes lock with his. I know he’s sincere, so my heart rate starts to slow down. I’m sure he can tell I was crying because, although I wiped my tears, I can’t wipe away my bloodshot eyes or red nose. He doesn’t say anything, though. For the first time in a long time, he’s the understanding Casey, the boy I cared so much about this summer.
We don’t talk about Todd again. There’s no more pressure. Instead, we talk about his parents, his sister Dylan, how he broke up with Vivian because he knew she was nothing more than a good time, and he really wants more than that deep down. However, he doesn’t follow it up with anything about us. He talks about everything except that, and I can finally breathe, finally relax, finally, genuinely enjoy his company. As a friend.
I feel my phone buzz a few times, but I don’t check it, figuring it’s Sid or Shane. Once Casey excuses himself to go to the bathroom, I glance down at it to find a text from Todd.
Listen to your voice mail.
I glance back in the direction of the bathroom, and with no sign of Casey, I quickly check his message.
“Okay, Ash. Ryan will never let me live this down because he can hear everything right now, but I don’t really care. Here it goes, anyway ...”
Then I hear the notes of his guitar. It’s beautiful. He’s played for me a million times, but hearing it now, through the speaker of my phone, it’s simple and clear. I hear the pain in each note, but I hear the love, too. Then his gorgeous voice cuts through. I love everything he plays, but there is something special about hearing him sing the words of “Just the Way You Are” by Bruno Mars.
I try hard to keep it together when Casey comes back to the table. I give him a head nod and a smile. “My parents,” I mouth to him.
He nods and smiles as he pays the bill while I continue to listen.
I can’t help smiling as Todd’s song comes to an end. It is perfect and just what I needed to make it through the rest
of my date.
“Okay, thanks, Mom. See you soon,” I say to end my pretend call.
“Everything okay?” Casey asks when I hang up.
“Yeah. They were just checking in.”
***
Being in Casey’s Range Rover reminds me of the last time I was in Mark’s truck with Todd except it’s high-end everything, and Mark’s truck barely has an automatic gearshift.
“You still up for the party?” Casey glances over in my direction with a smile, his bright green eyes searing through me.
I nod and shrug. “I don’t know. I’m kind of tired.”
“Oh, come on, Ashley Taylor; you look like you need a good party.”
I can’t help the laugh that escapes. “You’ve got me there, but I need to be home by ten.”
“So we’ve got an hour, plenty of time,” he says as he drives in the opposite direction of my house.
Here goes nothing.
When we pull into the field—mine and Todd’s field—my stomach drops. Shit. I didn’t know this is where the party would be.
All of the cars are lining the field with their headlights on, filling it with light. And then I see it—Ryan’s car—and I know Todd is here. This is their pick-up game. It’s here, at our field.
As we walk toward the crowd, Casey drapes his arm around me, and I have to fight every urge not to push it off. We are on a date. You and Todd are broken up, I repeat to myself.
“Casey, I’m suddenly not feeling well. I think we should go.” I try to turn around, but he catches me and spins me back.
“Come on, Ashley Taylor; it’ll be fine.” He gives me his bright, flawless smile. Even when his skin isn’t sun-kissed, it’s hard to miss how stunningly white his teeth are. “It looks like there are a lot of people from Easthaven here, so you’ll know people.” He says it like that’s a positive thing.
Every instinct tells me to turn back, but deep down, I know this will be good. If people see me with someone else, it will solidify that Todd and I are over. Despite hating it, I need to do it to keep our secret.
As we make our way through the crowd, the warm breeze blows through us. It’s hot for the end of November as well as muggy and humid from the rain last night. The field is a muddy mess, and I can tell from here that the guys playing are already covered with mud.
My eyes scan the crowd and land on Gretchen and Blythe. Even in the dark, you can’t miss Gretchen’s blonde hair. Unfortunately, RTS is still attached to her hip. Then I see Shane and Sid. Everyone is here. Emma, Shane’s dance partner from homecoming, is next to him. Since the dance she’s been trying to get closer to Shane, but he’s been able to keep a safe distance. I’m not sure I can say the same thing for Johnny and Courtney. They’ve been hanging out a lot lately, but luckily, Johnny has just earned the reputation of being a gentleman who respects girls. As far as Shane and Johnny go, they are still friends with secret benefits.
Shane’s eyes are locked on the field, so I know Johnny must be playing. Sid, Shane, Blythe, and Mark are the only ones who know the truth. Gretchen thinks we’re broken up since it was too risky to let her in on the truth because of RTS.
As we approach, a look of shock crosses Blythe’s face before she quickly tries to cover it with a disingenuous smile. “Casey. Good to see you,” she says with an air that negates her words.
“Case!” one of Casey’s friends shouts out from across the field. “Casey’s here,” someone on the field says to another player. “Casey, play. We need you. Easthaven is killing us.”
“What else is new?” Brian’s voice shouts out from the center of the field.
My stomach does a flip. The only thing that is worse than Casey being here with me is Casey being on the field with Todd.
“You okay?” Casey runs his hands over my arms, looking for permission to leave me.
“Yeah. Go,” I say, masking my fears with a smile.
“So you’re going out with Casey now? You’re a big fan of my leftovers.” The shrill voice pulls me out of my concern-induced haze.
I pivot on my heel, and my eyes land on RTS.
“You wish,” I snap back. Something about this girl makes me want to punch her every time I see her, but before we can get into it, we are interrupted by shouting on the field. I guess I’ll have to put picking a fight with her on hold.
Casey looks back and smiles at me as someone calls out the play. Todd is kicking off, and as soon as my eyes land on him, butterflies start to flutter.
“Wooo, Todd. Kick that ball, baby!” RTS shouts out then glares at me.
Everyone lining the field is holding red solo cups that I’m sure aren’t filled with water. They are watching the game and cheering on their school, while music is blaring out of speakers set up in the back of Mark’s truck. If I weren’t so worried, this would be pretty amazing.
Just relax and take it all in. It’s a friendly game of tackle football. Yeah, tackle football with two boys who hate each other.
Once Todd kicks off, he starts playing defense since Casey’s team has the ball. Both teams are playing full tackle, so it’s pretty rough, and everyone is showered with mud. Even though Casey has only been out there for a few plays, he’s already caked with it, but so far, so good.
I take my place next to Sid and Shane.
“So how was the date?” Sid asks under her breath.
“Good.” I give her a smile that says it was anything but good, knowing I need to be cautious of the ears all around us.
“That’s good.” She gives me the same smile back.
“Johnny looks great,” I say, noticing he’s just as skilled at defense as he is at quarterback.
“Just friends, remember,” Shane says without taking his eyes off the field.
I know I should be watching Casey to keep up the act, but I can’t take my eyes off Todd.
Adam, one of his teammates, says something to him, and he changes positions on the field, so now he’s right in front of Casey.
Why? How did Ryan let this happen?
Ryan notices at the same time I do, but it’s too late; the ball is already in the air. When Todd leaps up and catches the ball our side erupts. People start screaming, “Interception! Go, Hamilton.”
Todd is an incredible athlete. He could have been a receiver or even a quarterback, but he chose to be a kicker, mostly because that was the only way his mom would let him play and also because he’s really good.
Casey rams him and slams him down hard. Really hard. Then the cheers of celebration from our side turn into shouting at the players from Ridgewood.
“What the fuck? Not cool.”
My heart stops. Todd is on the ground. Ryan is running over to him, Brian, Mark, and Adam, whom I could kill right now, are right behind him, poised for a fight. I see the realization in Casey’s face as he glances back at me.
Todd slowly sits up. “I’m good,” he says to the guys surrounding him, but I can tell he’s still a little stunned. Ryan helps him up, and Todd shakes it off.
“This should be fun,” Shane says, laced with sarcasm.
I just glare at him then quickly bring my attention back to the field.
Todd turns away from Casey, and I’m proud that he’s not taking the bait. Then Casey says something that I can’t make out, and Todd turns back around, his focus locked on Casey. In three quick strides, his hands are on Casey’s chest, pushing him back hard, the mud on his shirt flying through the air from the impact.
Shit.
All of the Ridgewood players stand taller, as if they are ready for this fight, while Todd is backed by the entire Easthaven team who all instinctively step forward with raised chests.
“What? You can’t handle that I’m on a date with your ex-girlfriend?” Casey shouts.
Todd glances at me, and I shake my head. I see it all over his face; he wants to tell him.
When Ryan grabs Todd’s shoulder as a warning and reminder, Todd takes Ryan in and then turns back to Casey. He’s in a zone, his eyes zeroed
in on him, and my heart is pounding in my ears.
Don’t do it. Don’t say it.
Then Todd’s voice cuts through the pounding.
“She’s not my ex-girlfriend. She’s my girlfriend.”
I can’t move. This must be what being in shock feels like. My mouth is dry; my heart is pounding; I can’t speak. All I can do is stand here, motionless. I can’t believe he just said that out loud in front of everyone.
“Dream on!” Casey shouts back.
Neither of them look in my direction; they are locked on each other.
I start to step forward, but Sid and Shane sandwich me on either side.
“Don’t, Ash. Just stay back.” Shane rests his hand on my arm.
I can’t believe this is happening here in front of all of these people, but if I don’t say anything, I know they are going to fight again.
I take a deep breath and shout as loud as my voice will allow, “It’s true.”
All heads turn in my direction, all eyes now on me.
“What?” Casey asks, his face filled with confusion.
I feel Shane drop his hand, and I take a step forward, finding the strength in my voice again. “I said … it’s true.”
I sense RTS stiffen and hear a few murmurs around me, but my focus is on Todd and Casey; everyone else melts away.
“What’s true?” Casey asks with trepidation.
“We’re still together. We’re lying because of our parents. They made us break up, and they can’t know the truth.” There, I said it. Now everyone knows.
My eyes lock on Todd’s, and his smile tells me I did the right thing. I don’t care anymore. I can’t hide it. I won’t hide it. If we have to run away to be together, so be it.
Ryan starts to pace and run his muddy hands through his hair, his stress palpable. I know he thinks I’m wrong, but I needed to do this.
“Well, they will know now. It’s a good thing me and Mr. Taylor are so tight,” Casey says to Todd with a calm grin. Then he turns to me. “He’s bad for you, Ashley. You just can’t see it.”
Unbreakable (Accidental Crush #3) Page 15