“What?”
“It’s amazing it takes a broken leg to have everything fall into place.” He tightens his arms around me.
I don’t ever want this moment to end. Still, I know it will, just like everything else. I know with things “falling into place,” it means Todd will be going away to school. Regardless, something about being here, wrapped in his arms in such a warm, welcoming, special place tells me that everything will be okay. I know we can handle whatever life throws at us. We can overcome anything together.
“I’m going to work really hard, Ash, and I know my leg can be just as strong as it was before.”
I look up at him. “I know it will be.”
“With you by my side.” He kisses the top of my head, and I close my eyes to relish in this moment for as long as humanly possible. Then I remember I shoved a Sharpie in my pocket. I spotted it near his charts and grabbed it as we were leaving.
“Hey, look what I have.” I pull out the Sharpie.
“Oh, lucky me, and look, you have a blank slate.” He points to his cast, smiling.
“Precisely.” I position myself to make sure where I pick will be the first his eyes land on when he looks down. My body is blocking what I’m drawing so he can’t see anything.
“Make it good. I have to look at it for a while.”
I give him a malicious laugh. “I know.”
“What are you doing, Ash?”
“You’ll see,” I answer playfully, knowing this is driving him crazy.
“I wish I could feel more than just pressure, so I can figure out what you’re doing. I’m getting nervous, Ash. This will be there for everyone to see. And this is taking forever.” Todd keeps talking as I write.
“I’m not done yet. Calm down back there.” I feel him trying to peek around me, so I shift a bit so he can’t see.
“Ashley?”
“Almost done.” I draw a heart around my masterpiece. “Okay, look.” I move so he can finally see.
A.T.
LOVES
T.H.
“They are the same letters you gave to me. Now I’m giving them back to you, but they come with a heart.” My fingers trace the heart I drew. “That’s my heart. I’m giving it to you, all of it.”
“It’s perfect.” He pulls me in and kisses me with just as much desire and longing as I feel for him.
Chapter 19: Moment of Truth
ASHLEY
It’s been five weeks since Todd’s accident. He’s truly mastered the crutches. He’s incredible on them. It’s as if they are a part of him. I swear he could run a marathon using them. They haven’t held him back at all.
This past Friday was his first performance at Joe’s. It turns out, since the stage is so small, there was no room for RTS, so it was just Todd and Shane. It’s truly wonderful when Karma falls into place.
Todd and Shane sound amazing together. It’s like the acoustic version of each song with Todd’s guitar and Shane on drums. That’s all you really need. And Todd’s voice is so soulful you can feel the lyrics when he sings. I fall more in love with him every time I see him perform.
The place was packed, and since he’s still in his full leg cast, he performed sitting down with his cast propped up. There is literally no space left to sign; there are so many signatures. Mark wrote an apology letter down the entire right side of the cast and singed it: Love, Francis. It’s actually pretty funny if you read it. Still, I know he feels really guilty and blames himself for Todd’s accident.
Since it’s early February and freezing, Todd had to buy a ton of sweatpants and cut the leg so the cast could fit through. Of course, he would look good in a paper bag, so the cast somehow makes him even hotter, especially when he’s on stage, holding a guitar.
Right now, we are sitting in the doctor’s office waiting room. Signing day is tomorrow; therefore, he has to get one more x-ray today so the doctors can all have one last look. To date, it’s been healing quicker than they thought it would. However, this is the day that will be the final decision maker.
I look over at him, noting he’s on edge. His left leg is bouncing up and down a mile a minute. I look around the waiting room at Ryan and Sid, and I’m trying hard not to laugh because we are all wearing the same nervous expression.
Ryan gave Todd a ride since he can’t drive. Actually, Ryan’s been giving him a ride every day, which has worked out great for me. And as a bonus, I get Sid, too, when she’s not with Simon.
Ryan is the first to break our nervous silence.
“It’s gonna be good news. I know it.”
Todd lifts his head to look up from the cradle he’s created with his hands where his head has been buried since we got here. He gives Ryan a half smile then quickly goes back to leaning his forehead against his hands. The whole time, Todd has been positive, but now that this is the moment of truth, he’s a bit tense. He hasn’t said a word since we left school. He’s never this quiet.
“Ryan is totally right,” Sid says with a big smile.
When Todd gives her the same head lift and a half smile, my stomach starts turning over with nerves for him.
“I’m here. I made it. Did you go back yet?” Mrs. H. comes bustling in, disrupting the silence. She’s just as anxious as the rest of us.
Head lift, half smile for his mom.
A nurse opens the door to the waiting room. “Todd Hamilton?”
“Oh, good,” Mrs. H. says as she gets up to go with him.
Todd hops up on his good leg and grabs the crutches resting next to him. His movements are so fluid it’s as if this has always been his routine. He looks back at me before he goes through the door and gives me that same half smile.
I mouth, “Good luck,” and then we are alone: me, Sid, and Ryan. We make nervous small talk as I fidget with the bracelet Todd gave me. It’s finally back on my wrist where it belongs after months of hiding away in my drawer to help prove we weren’t together. I also can’t stop running my thumb over his class ring. In some strange way, I feel closer to him just by touching it.
After what feels like hours, the door opens, and we all instinctively stand up.
Todd is the first one my eyes land on, which is great. However, his face is flat, unreadable, which is not great. Oh, God, they are pulling the offer.
“Well?” Ryan says, unable to stand the suspense.
Then Todd’s eyes lock with mine, and his lips turn up into a bright smile. “The cast comes off in a week, and then the real work begins.”
“Yes! Yes. I knew it.” Ryan practically flies through the air and tackle hugs him, almost knocking him over.
“Let’s not re-break it,” Todd says as he tries to regain his balance, and we all start to laugh at Ryan’s genuine enthusiasm.
“Someone better text Brian. He’s even texting me now,” Sid says as she hugs her brother.
“Yeah, he sent me, like, twenty texts while we were in there,” Todd says with a chuckle.
“Did you tell him yet?” Ry asks as he pulls out his phone.
“Not yet.”
“Let’s have a little fun.”
Todd shakes his head. “Oh, man, I don’t know if he can handle it.”
But Ryan’s phone is already ringing on speaker.
Brian picks up on the first ring. “Ry, what happened? Is all good?”
Ryan holds up his finger for all of us to be quiet. “It’s not good, man.”
“What? What do you mean? Where’s Todd?”
“He’s too upset to talk right now.”
I have to cover my mouth to hide my laugh. Todd and Ryan’s eyes are locked while Todd nods his head with a grin from ear to ear. It’s as if they have their own unspoken language.
My heart is bursting seeing Todd this happy. I can tell a giant weight has been lifted from his shoulders.
“Yeah, Penn is pulling their offer, and they are prepping him for surgery right now.”
“Surgery? Why?” It sounds like Brian is going to jump through the phone.
Todd smiles and shrugs, as if silently asking Ryan if they should stop. Ryan shakes his head with a smile.
“They have to re-break it. It’s not healing properly.” Ryan nods his head to Todd.
“Are you pulling my leg?” Brian asks.
“That’s a terrible thing to say right now, don’t ya think?” Ryan is really laying it on thick. Man, he’s good.
Again, why didn’t I get this gene?
“Oh, man, you’re right. I’m sorry.” It sounds like Brian is going to lose it. His voice is starting to crack, so the boys both give each other a look to end it.
“You should’ve been here, man,” Todd says.
“What? Todd? Is that Todd?” Brian asks.
“I said, you should have been here,” Todd repeats with a mischievous grin.
“What the fuck? You were kidding? You assholes! You’re kidding?”
Everyone is hysterical at this point. I’m laughing so hard I can’t catch my breath.
“Assholes,” Brian repeats. “So you’re good?” he finally asks.
“Yeah, I’m good,” Todd says through his laugh. “The cast comes off in a week.”
“Hell, yeah, baby! College, here we come!”
“Talk to you later, jackass. Tell Blythe we say hi since we know that’s where you are.” Todd winks at me.
“You guys are dicks. You know that?”
Ryan hangs up with that same, sly grin. “Man, that was fun. We should’ve kept it going.”
“No, it was perfect!” Todd says as we all start to get our stuff together.
“I’m excited for you.” Ryan pats Todd on the shoulder.
“Yeah, it’s good. For all of us.” Todd gives him their signature handshake as he leans on the crutches.
Everyone starts to leave, but Todd gives me a look that says stay.
“I’ll be right there, Mom,” he yells to Mrs. H. as she heads toward the door with his bag. Then he walks over with his crutches and leans his forehead against mine. I hold on to his crutches to help him balance.
“You okay?” he asks quietly now that it’s just us.
“I should be asking you that,” I say, pressing my head gently into his.
“Yeah, but I’m asking you. You okay? You were awfully quiet.” He rests his elbows on his crutches so his fingers can slide over my shoulders.
“I’m good. I’m really good. I’m happy for you.”
“I know this is bittersweet.” He lifts my chin so our eyes lock.
My heart and stomach are in competition to see who can flutter the most, but I’m not sure who is winning. The effect he still has on me is incredible.
He leans down and kisses me, and every fiber of my being is ignited with passion, joy, and excitement. Though I will miss him like crazy, I need to enjoy all of him while he’s still here with me.
“Now we just have to make the most of every second we have left,” I whisper through our kiss.
***
Signing day is already stressful, and I’m not even the one signing anything. My parents have been running around all morning. My mom has changed her outfit at least five times. And my dad has tied and untied his tie at least fifty times. With my stomach in knots, I can’t stop pacing except when I check myself in the mirror for the hundredth time. Ryan, however, is calm and oblivious to the chaos around him.
He’s currently on the couch, watching Sports Center and eating cereal, as if it’s a typical morning. The only difference is he’s wearing a suit and tie. How can he eat right now? I feel like I’m going to vomit. My nerves are on overdrive.
I texted Todd, Happy signing day! Excited? and still haven’t heard back from him. I’m sure his house is just as crazy as ours.
I start to make a million mental excuses, and then my phone buzzes.
Hey, Ash. Just woke up, getting dressed. Yes, excited. I have to study.
Just woke up? What is it with these boys? I smile at the ‘I have to study.’ I love that he still uses our code words even though our relationship is back out in the open.
“What are you smiling about?”
I look over at Ryan who has a sarcastic grin spread across his face.
“Nothing.” I roll my eyes.
“Tell Todd I said hi.”
“Shut up.” I toss a throw pillow at him.
“Hey, watch the suit,” he says with a smile, but his movement causes him to spill a little milk onto his pants. “Shit.” He starts to laugh as he goes to the kitchen to wash it off.
“Language,” Mom scolds firmly as she hustles by him with two different pairs of shoes.
“Which ones, Ash?” She holds them out to me.
“Come on. We’ve got to go,” Dad shouts as he lumbers down the stairs, wearing yet another tie.
“We have twenty minutes,” Ryan shouts over the running water in the kitchen.
“Precisely,” Dad yells back.
I smile at that word. Once again, it makes me think of Todd. I can’t stop thinking about him.
I pick a pair for my mom, and she gives me a look like she knows exactly what I’m thinking from my smile. I doubt she does, but I’m glad she’s okay with it if she thinks it has something to do with Todd.
Signing day is a big deal at our school. Since we have a good football program, and we usually make it to state, we get a lot of attention. This year is no different; we have twelve players who have offers from division one schools.
Almost everyone knows who they are singing with, but a few guys have offers from several different schools. Mark—aka Francis—has a few schools he’s deciding between, so today is the day he has to make a decision. Once you sign, it’s a done deal.
Ryan had a few offers, but since Penn State was interested and it looked like they wanted all three boys, he’s put most of his focus on them. Thankfully, it’s within driving distance, so my parents are thrilled.
Dad already bought out the entire Penn State book store. He has every mug, T-shirt, and pad of paper they have ever made. All of the parents are already planning tailgating trips for the home games. It looks like even college won’t break up the Three Musketeers.
I smile to myself. It could be worse. They could be going farther away. I’m not sure who I would be more upset about, though—Todd or Ryan. Oh, who am I kidding? Definitely Todd.
When we walk into the auditorium, I see a long table on the stage with our school colors draped over it, along with place cards with each of the signing seniors’ names.
Ryan turns and gives us a head nod and a smile then makes his way to the stage where some of his teammates have already gathered. We take a seat in the auditorium with the rest of the family and friends.
Todd isn’t here yet, but then I hear Sid’s laugh as the doors open, and there he is. He doesn’t see me, which gives me the perfect opportunity to just enjoy watching him. He’s wearing the same suit he wore to homecoming. I guess the pants legs were big enough to fit the cast. You would never know he had a broken leg, except for the crutches and the fact that one leg is much wider than the other, thanks to the cast.
He takes my breath away, always.
While I watch him talk to his teammates, it’s obvious they all care about and respect him just by the way they interact. When their coach comes out, all of the boys greet him and then take their seats where their names are placed.
The smile on Todd’s face is priceless. All of the guys are happy, but I can tell Todd is complete. He’s had reservations for so long, but this is exactly where he wants to be, and for that, I can’t feel sad. I want him to get what he wants.
The way it works is they go down the line one at a time and announce each player and what school he is signing with before they actually sign. Everyone is seated in alphabetical order, so Mark is first.
Mark is a great player and has a ton of offers. The guys are practically leaning over the table to see what his decision will be. A few guys at the table shout his name as it’s called, and there are even a few shouts from peop
le in the audience. I see his mom and feel my cheeks start to burn, thinking about the last time I saw her—well, almost saw her.
“Mark Conner will be singing with ...” Coach W.’s voice cuts through the crowd, and then he looks over at Mark who gives him a head nod. Mark hasn’t told anyone his decision, so you can feel the crowd holding their breath. “… the Florida State Seminoles.”
The crowd erupts as Mark signs the intent to play form and then pulls out an FSU hat, placing it on his head with a giant smile. The boys at the table know they aren’t allowed to get up, but they are all shouting and cheering as Mark hugs the guy next to him.
There are a few more guys who get the same type of accolades, and then it’s Todd’s turn.
“Todd Hamilton. As most of you know, Todd broke his leg on the senior ski trip, which is difficult for any player, but especially when you’re the kicker.”
The crowd chuckles, and there are a few hoots.
“But what speaks volumes of Todd’s character and drive is the fact that his college believes enough in both his ability and talent to stick with him, even with a broken leg. This is definitely a first for Easthaven, and you can just add it to the list of many school records Todd has broken throughout his career. I know he has a lot of work and healing ahead of him, but I also know nothing is going stand in the way of his bright future.”
I swore I was going to hold it together, but I can’t help the tears in my eyes. I’m so proud of him, because I know he’s not only an incredible player, but he’s also an incredible person, and that’s what really matters.
I glance over at Sid to see her wiping tears away, too, and then my eyes land on Todd. I want to always remember the smile on his face in this moment.
“Todd Hamilton is signing with Penn State!”
Every player at the table and everyone in the audience goes crazy as Todd puts on his Penn State hat.
They continue to go down the line, and for each player, the crowd erupts. Ryan is the last one, and the instant he places the Penn State hat on his head, all the guys get up from the table and form a group huddle. The excitement is palpable as the entire room jumps to their feet. It’s official; all three of the boys are going to Penn State!
Unbreakable (Accidental Crush #3) Page 21