“Because you won’t be around later on.”
“Right.”
* * *
And the same would be true for the baby she was carrying. Once he got back to his roping career, chances were good he’d lose interest. While he was recuperating he had time on his hands, time to play with Sophie and imagine that he’d be thrilled with fatherhood. If she let nature take its course, he’d eventually realize his lifestyle didn’t leave room for children.
But that wasn’t her personality. She preferred a definite plan so she’d know exactly what to expect from him. Taking a wait-and-see attitude would drive her nuts. That was where the reading list would come in. It was his first hurdle.
Damon was vacuuming up sawdust when they walked in. He gave the floor one last swipe and switched the Shop-Vac off before walking over to Tess. “Pleased to meet you. I’m Damon.” His smile encompassed both her and his daughter. “I see you and Sophie are already acquainted.”
“Da-da!” Sophie squirmed and reached for her father.
Damon’s gaze softened. “Hey, Soph.” He lifted her into his arms. “Who’s your daddy?”
“Da-da!” She patted his cheeks with both hands.
“I think she finally gets that da-da is me.” Damon looked besotted. “Knocks me out every time she says it.”
Zeke laughed. “She’s working you, bro. Laying the groundwork. Won’t be long before she’ll be asking da-da for a pony.”
“And he’ll get her one, too.” A tall redhead walked into the living room carrying a collapsed playpen. “Good thing the property is zoned for it or we’d have to move.” She leaned the playpen against the wall and came over, hand outstretched. “Hi, I’m Phil.”
Tess wasn’t surprised that Phil had a firm grip. She seemed to be a very self-possessed woman. “Your daughter is adorable.”
“Most of the time.” Phil’s expression was warm and friendly. “But you’re a teacher. You know the frustrations that crop up with kids.”
“I do, but you’re lucky that she’s so social. That’s a big plus.”
“Comes with the territory around here. She’s been passed from one adoring person to another ever since she was born.”
“Nice.” Tess had taught kids like that. They were easier to deal with because they’d learned early that the world was a benevolent and welcoming place. If the Thunder Mountain guys hadn’t experienced that advantage, they might be more eager to provide it for the next generation.
Phil glanced around the bare living room. “I’d invite you to sit down but we only have a couple of folding chairs. Oh, and the queen bed in the master bedroom.”
Tess didn’t want to think about where Zeke was sleeping, thank you very much. “I’m fine with sitting on the floor.”
“Hey,” Zeke said. “Let’s do what we did over at Thunder Mountain a couple of weeks ago and make a circle that Sophie can crawl around in.”
“Oh, yeah,” Damon said. “She’d love that.”
As they formed a loose circle and Damon sat the little girl in the middle, Tess couldn’t help thinking of how much fun it would be to have her baby fussed over like this. She might make a trip to Sheridan a couple of times a month. Even then, he wouldn’t bond with everyone the way Sophie had. These were the trade-offs she’d have to make and the decisions weren’t easy ones.
Zeke sat on the opposite side of the circle from Tess, which gave her a great view of his expression as he coaxed Sophie over to sit in his lap. He was into it. She reminded herself that he probably welcomed the distraction since he wasn’t roping these days. Still, watching him interact with the baby tugged on her heart yet again.
Sophie made a game out of musical laps and obviously loved being the center of attention. Meanwhile Phil managed to work some adult conversation into the mix. First she asked Tess how long she’d be staying this time.
Tess didn’t miss Phil’s “this time” reference, but that was okay. She’d already decided to accept Rosie and Herb’s warm hospitality on a regular basis. “I’ll probably go home in the next day or two,” she said. “But this morning Lexi invited me to the wedding, so I’ll be back in September.”
“Hey, that’s great!” Phil looked genuinely pleased.
Judging from Zeke’s expression, he hadn’t been expecting that, but he didn’t seem upset about it.
“If you’ll be coming back in a few weeks,” Phil said, “I can pack up some of Sophie’s newborn outfits if you want them. Since we didn’t announce whether we were having a boy or girl, they’re unisex, but you should know there’s a lot of yellow, in case you’re not fond of that color.”
“Yellow’s very cheerful and I guarantee the baby won’t care what color he’s wearing. Thank you. That would be wonderful.”
“Rosie will want to get you some things, I’m sure. Knowing her, she’ll find a onesie that looks like he’s wearing jeans and a Western shirt.” Phil reached into her pocket for a tissue and wiped some drool from Sophie’s face before the little girl motored toward Tess. “Rosie must be so excited that there’s another Thunder Mountain baby on the way.”
“She is. Everybody’s been great.” Sophie climbed onto Tess’s lap, grabbing handfuls of her shirt as she pulled herself upright. “Well, hello, there, sweetie. Look who’s standing up. Such a big girl.”
Sophie chortled with pride, swayed a little and sat again with a thump.
“Once she starts walking,” Damon said, “life as we know it will be over.”
“That’ll be fun to see,” Zeke said. “How soon do you figure?”
Damon glanced over at Zeke. “Not soon enough for you, I’m afraid. I’m thinking another two months at least, maybe three. But you’ll be outta here by then, right?”
“Guess so.”
“We’ll send video,” Phil said. “We have Drew Martinelli on standby.”
“I met her today.” The longer they chatted, the more Tess felt part of the group. “She came over to talk about the wedding venue.”
Phil perked up. “Was anything decided?”
“I think so. But I don’t know if I’m supposed to say anything.”
“Yeah, go ahead.” Damon settled Sophie in his lap. “Secrets don’t last long around here, and I’ll bet this isn’t even a secret. We’ve heard rumors. Is it the barn?”
“Yep.” But Tess wouldn’t give any more details. Damon or Cade should talk to Zeke about becoming an official member of the brotherhood. Then they could discuss the plan to arrange the brotherhood in a semicircle behind the bride and groom.
“I knew it.” Phil said. “That makes perfect sense for Cade and Lexi. They’ve worked together in that barn since they were teenagers.”
“I didn’t realize that.” Tess envied them their long relationship. They’d had plenty of time to make sure they belonged together.
Phil glanced at her phone. “Well, folks, we need to get moving. We—” A distant clap of thunder interrupted whatever she’d been about to say.
Sophie squealed and buried her face against her father’s shoulder.
“It’s okay, Soph.” Damon stroked her back. “Just some old guys up in the clouds bowling.”
“But if it’s going to rain soon, that’s all the more reason to head out.” Phil stood and walked over to the folded playpen. “If it comes down fast, that dirt road can turn to mud in no time.”
“Maybe I should go, too.” Tess got to her feet. She could easily picture the dirt road she’d driven in on turning into a slippery mess. “My car doesn’t have four-wheel drive.”
“Shouldn’t be a problem.” Zeke came to stand beside her.
“In case I do end up leaving, though, I need to bring in something from my car.” She wasn’t going to take off without presenting him with her reading list.
He nodded. “Fair enough. We
’ll go get that and decide whether the storm’s going to be a problem. Sometimes there’s a lot of noise and then it just hangs over the mountains. Here, Phil, let me carry the playpen out to the truck.”
“Thanks, Zeke. And thanks for saving the day earlier. Without you there to entertain Sophie, we wouldn’t have made such good progress.”
“It was fun. She’s a great kid.”
Tess began to wonder if she’d been invited over primarily to observe Zeke with Sophie. It was a logical move. He’d been clear enough that he wanted to be part of his baby’s life. Damon and Phil would want to help in any way they could. She had a hunch he’d told them about his proposal—and her refusal.
If they were holding that against her, they’d disguised it well. More likely they were of the same opinion as Rosie, that a proposal wasn’t appropriate at this stage and might never be. They were delighted about the baby, though.
Tess had never dreamed that a trip to Sheridan would bring her into contact with so many people who were excited about the pregnancy. No matter how things turned out with Zeke, she’d always be grateful for his foster family.
Chapter Seven
Zeke was happy about the way the visit with Phil, Damon and Sophie had gone. He could tell it had put Tess in a mellow mood and he wanted to build on that. After Damon piled his little family into the work truck and they drove away, Zeke glanced up at the thunderclouds nestled against the mountains. “Doesn’t look too bad.”
Tess opened her car door. “Tell you what. We’ll sit on the porch while I show you what I brought. Then I should probably head back. I don’t want to get stuck here.”
He wished she hadn’t said it as though it were a bad thing. He’d always enjoyed the cozy feeling of being with someone he liked while a storm raged outside. Obviously she wasn’t looking at it that way.
His original plan, to drive into town for a bite to eat, didn’t seem as appealing with a storm coming. Phil was right about the dirt road turning treacherous in no time. Grading and paving it, or at least laying down a bed of gravel, was on Matt’s list, but the project was on hold until he decided what he wanted.
Zeke had half a mind to rent a grader and do a basic job himself. Now that Tess could be driving back and forth on it, he just might. If he could get hold of a grader first thing in the morning, he’d be finished by noon. Then he could invite her over for a candlelight dinner. Just dinner. No funny business unless she wanted to. He’d promised her she was in charge on that score.
Unfortunately he’d also been a jerk about how he’d said it. The hike up to Lion’s Rest had been a disaster from start to finish. The proposal had been a huge mistake and, on top of that, he’d brought up his legal rights. That couldn’t have endeared him to her.
This afternoon he’d talked with Damon and Phil about the situation. They weren’t absolutely sure, but they thought his case might be weak if Tess challenged him in court. He had specifically told her that he never wanted kids. And since he couldn’t lie under oath, he was permanently branded with that statement.
Tess grabbed her purse out of the car. “I just realized you don’t have chairs on the front porch. I was thinking of Thunder Mountain.”
“I’ll bring the folding chairs out of the kitchen,” he said as they walked around to the front of the house. “I don’t know about you, but I like sitting on the porch and watching the clouds.”
“I like that, too.” She started up the steps. “I’ll help you get them.”
“Thanks, but I’ll handle it.”
“Zeke, you have an injured shoulder and I can carry a folding chair.”
“I’m sure you can, but it would be my pleasure to bring it to you.” He held her gaze. “Would you let me do that?” He watched the wary look in her eyes change to something else, something that made his heart pound and his groin ache.
Abruptly she turned away. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He shook with desire as he walked into the house. Damn, that woman was potent. In the kitchen he braced both hands against the counter and sucked in air. The pain in his shoulder reminded him that putting his weight on his left arm wasn’t a great idea.
Pushing away from the counter, he swore softly. If the condom hadn’t been faulty—but, no, he couldn’t wish things had been different. She was overjoyed to be pregnant. Now that he’d had time to think about it, he was glad she was, too. He wouldn’t have chosen to have a kid, but when something this unlikely happened, maybe it was meant to be.
He should get back out there before she came searching for him. He barely trusted himself to be alone with her on the porch, but if she came inside and her blue eyes held the same kind of promise, then...he’d resist her unless she straight-out asked him to take the next step.
Folding each chair with a snap, he carried them with his good arm through the living room and out to the front porch. She was leaning against the railing with her back to him. He paused, noticing how her ponytail had exposed the tender skin at her nape.
If they were still lovers, he’d put down the chairs, walk over and wrap his arms around her waist. Then he’d nuzzle that vulnerable spot, one he happened to know was an erogenous zone for her. He’d learned a fair bit about her body in that Texas hotel room. Not so much about her, though, which was telling.
But then she hadn’t learned much about him, either. They’d both preferred it that way. Sex with a semi-stranger had been a new experience for her, but was his typical way of operating.
She turned. No doubt she’d heard him come through the door. “The clouds are moving away. The storm may not be a problem.”
“Then we could drive into town for dinner like we planned.”
“I don’t think we need to trouble ourselves. Let me show you my list and then I’ll go back to Thunder Mountain.”
“Your list of what?” He set up the chairs, mindful of putting a respectful distance between them.
“Books.” She handed him a sheet of paper and took a seat.
He sat and scanned the paper. “I take it you want me to read these?”
“You’re adamant that you want to step into the role of our baby’s dad, so, yes, I do.”
He glanced at her. “I like that you said our baby. That might be the first time you’ve done that.”
“Oh, I doubt it. Obviously we were both involved, so I’m pretty sure I’ve acknowledged—”
“I’m pretty sure you haven’t.”
She waved a hand in the air. “Whatever.”
“No, not whatever. This is important, Tess. This morning you told me to think of myself as a sperm donor.” The phrase still curdled his blood.
She faced him, regret in her blue eyes. “That was a terrible thing to say and I’m sorry.”
“It was terrible, but my angry reaction told me something about myself. I might not have planned for this to happen, but now that it has, I reject the idea of being a sperm donor. I’m this baby’s father. I admit the reality hasn’t fully registered, but give me time. I intend to get there.”
“Then you need to read these books.”
“I will. I’ll see how many are available in town and I’ll order the rest.” He tapped the paper. “You put time into this. I appreciate it.”
“You do? You don’t think it’s arrogant of me to hand you a recommended reading list?”
“Are you kidding? Reading is a great way to learn a skill. My dad had a bunch of books on—well, never mind. It’s beside the point.” Oh, man, he hadn’t meant to get into his past.
“I saw the brochure.”
He sighed. “I figured you had.”
“So you and your dad were a team?”
“Yep.” What a mess. He didn’t want to talk about his dad, but at least she’d asked. In the space of a few minutes she’d referred to “our baby,” a
pologized for calling him a sperm donor and showed interest in his father. “Rosie didn’t fill you in?”
“She said it wasn’t her information to provide.”
He should have known. Rosie had told her boys the tale belonged to the protagonist. He’d looked up that word after she’d used it and had figured out the protagonist of his tale was him.
“We were a team.” He figured he might as well tell her all of it and get it over with. “My mom left when I was pretty small. I don’t remember her. My dad tried to be there for me. He did the best he could, but I realize now he must have been depressed.” He looked at her. “That can be genetic.”
“I know. I’m glad you told me, but I’ll think positive that the baby won’t inherit the predisposition for it. You didn’t.”
“How can you tell? Like you said, we barely know each other.”
“That’s true, but if you were clinically depressed, Rosie would have said so. She’s trained in spotting the signs, too. She wasn’t ready to tell me your life story but she wouldn’t have left me out of the loop on something that critical.”
“You’re right. And it would have come up in my counseling sessions.”
“You had counseling?”
“It’s practically a given when your dad commits suicide.”
Her face drained of color. “Oh, no.” She put her hand on his arm. “How old were you?”
“Fourteen.”
“Fourteen.” She swallowed. “I can’t... Dear God, that must have been horrible.”
He nodded. Her sympathetic reaction stirred up feelings of sadness he’d thought were long gone. Then again, he didn’t have reason to tell the story anymore. Rosie and Herb had known before they’d brought him to Thunder Mountain.
He’d told the other guys living at the ranch because they’d asked with the straightforward curiosity of those who had also been through hell. Then he’d tucked the story away. He hadn’t shared it with anyone on the circuit or any of the women he’d dated. No point in it.
Say Yes to the Cowboy Page 6