She couldn’t see Allie, so she must be in the kitchen.
She went to the counter and stood there waiting, suddenly aware that she must look quite a state. After dropping the children at school, she’d changed into a pair of Rick’s old lounge pants and a washed out black t-shirt. Comfortable clothes for wearing while ironing. After seeing that terrible email, she hadn’t bothered to change. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and in her hurry to get to the café, the fringe she’d been growing out had slipped from its clip and now stuck to her clammy forehead. And as for makeup… she hadn’t bothered with that. Who was going to see her at home? What did it matter anyway?
Allie didn’t appear, so Dawn went behind the counter and into the kitchen. She found her friend scooping poached eggs from a pan then carefully arranging them on top of thick slices of toast covered with mashed avocado.
“Dawn! You gave me a fright then.” Allie paused, an egg suspended on the spatula in mid air, its golden yolk shiny and perfectly round, just waiting to be pierced by a fork. Dawn’s stomach rolled.
“Sorry. I had to come to see you. I can’t go to Mum’s as she’ll be doing her cleaning rounds and Camilla’s in work and I didn’t know who else to go to and…”
Allie’s expression changed as she took in Dawn’s appearance.
“Hold on.” She laid the egg on a slice toast then put the saucepan on the worktop. “Now, do you want to take a deep breath then tell me what’s going on? I love you, Dawnie, and you can always come to me when you need to but to be quite frank, you look like you’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards.”
Dawn took a breath and was dismayed to find her vision blurring. Her throat ached as a lump rose there and she tried to speak but it emerged as a squeak.
“Okay, you stay here. I have to take these breakfasts out but I’ll be right back.” Allie dusted her hands on her apron then pushed Dawn onto a stool that she’d pulled from under the kitchen island, before disappearing with two plates.
Dawn took the time to try to pull herself together. Allie was always so kind and caring that whenever Dawn was feeling emotional, her composure usually slipped. She’d always worn her heart on her sleeve and her mother had often remarked that she was very different to Camilla in that respect. After their father had left, Camilla had seemed to toughen up, taking care of Dawn and their mother like they were her responsibility, even though she’d only been ten. Jackie had fallen into a deep depression and ten-year-old Camilla had taken over the running of the house while Jackie was out at work, ensuring that she and Dawn had clean uniforms and got to school on time. Camilla had made excuses to her teachers when her mother hadn’t shown up for parents’ evenings and had used her saved pocket money to purchase tins of beans and loaves of bread from the local shop to feed them. Jackie had emerged from the worst of her darkness after about eight months, but it had been an awful time.
Camilla had been a rock. But it was as if the whole experience had left her scarred and scared. She’d never had a long-term relationship and very rarely ever let her guard down, not even to Dawn. Her decision to never have children had been one that had initially shocked Dawn, as she’d longed to be a mother after falling in love with Rick. However, as time went on and Camilla didn’t falter in her decision, not even when she held her niece and nephew as tiny babies, Dawn realised that it was okay for her sister to lack maternal yearnings. As long Camilla was happy with her life, then Dawn didn’t need to worry about her. Sometimes, she even envied Camilla her freedom, her lack of responsibility, the fact that she could go into London and splurge on clothes and shoes then stay in a luxury hotel without worrying about the price or getting back for the school run. She wondered what it would be like to have a full night’s sleep and to spend an hour lounging in a bubble bath without someone needing the toilet, or a drink, or having a fight over the TV remote.
But their lives were very different and their parents’ divorce had affected them in different ways. Camilla swore she never wanted the whole marriage and children scenario while Dawn couldn’t imagine not having that life that she treasured. If anything, seeing her mother’s breakdown made Dawn crave domesticity. Her childhood had seemed perfect until her father left and in the weeks that followed his departure, she’d longed to come home from school to find her mother baking again, ready with a kiss and a smile at the door. But that idyllic stage of her life had passed and it never returned. Until Dawn married Rick and had her own home, and became determined to have the perfect family life, to be the wife and mother that Jackie had been before her husband had left. It was like she had a chance to recreate the early part of her childhood – the part that she’d enjoyed.
And now it seemed that it was falling apart, in spite of all her efforts.
“Right, Mrs,” Allie was back with a steaming mug and a ginger biscuit, “I want you to take these then come and sit on my leather couch and tell me all about it.”
“Thank you, Allie.”
“No need to thank me, sweetheart. I’m your friend and that’s what friends do. You need to tell me what’s weighing you down and got you running around the village looking like you spent the night sleeping rough.”
Dawn tugged at the t-shirt, trying to stop it clinging to her belly.
“Okay… but I have a feeling that you’re not going to approve of what I’ve done.”
Allie placed a hand on Dawn’s back then gently ushered her from the kitchen.
“I am quite sure that you can’t possibly have done anything terrible, Dawn.”
Dawn swallowed a sob.
Because she was quite sure that as soon as she told Allie what she had done, her friend was going to change her mind.
Just as Dawn was about to tell Allie about the email, Camilla breezed into the café. As usual, she looked gorgeous with her dark elfin crop, her dazzling green eyes enhanced with shimmering emerald makeup and her designer charcoal-grey trouser suit and purple silk blouse. Her towering heels clicked across the floor as she made her way to the counter, then she caught sight of Allie and Dawn and did an about turn to join them at the sofa.
“Camilla, what’re you doing here?” Dawn blurted.
“Well that’s a nice welcome.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. What I meant was, why aren’t you in London?”
“Oh, I had a meeting with a local client then I thought I’d pop in for a coffee. Didn’t expect to see you here either little sister.” Camilla peered at her. “Have you been crying?”
Dawn shifted on the sofa.
“She’s a bit hormonal.” Allie patted Dawn’s hand.
“Yes it all gets a bit much sometimes.”
“Shall I pop you to the surgery? See if we can get your GP to take a look at you? Perhaps you need some iron tablets or something else…” Camilla’s eyes were wary now, full of sisterly concern.
“No, no. I’m all right. No need for that.”
“Would you like a coffee, Camilla?” Allie asked.
“Yes, please, Allie, that would be lovely. Then I think we three need to have a chat.”
While Allie made the coffee, Camilla excused herself and popped to the toilet. Dawn took the chance to catch her breath. Part of her didn’t want to tell her friend or her sister about Rick, because she didn’t want to prejudice their feelings towards him, but part of her wanted, and needed, their support. How dare he do what it seemed like he’d been doing? If he had been doing anything at all. If only she could know for sure.
Soon, Camilla sat opposite her and Allie next to her.
“Um… please don’t judge me, but I’ve done something and it’s opened a can of worms.”
They both stared at her, their expressions unreadable as they waited for her to continue.
“I’ve had some suspicions about Rick for a while now and this morning, I just had to find out if they were true.”
“What suspicions?” Camilla asked as she shrugged out of her jacket then draped it over the back of the chair.
“
That he might be cheating.” She pressed her lips together as Camilla’s eyes widened.
“What?”
“Oh Dawn, but why?” Allie took her hand.
“He’s been acting differently. Since before this pregnancy actually, although it has got worse. Or perhaps it’s just me being paranoid and—”
“Dawn! Stop blaming yourself and tell us what’s going on.” Camilla frowned.
Okay…” She sighed. “He works long hours, repeatedly claims his trains have been delayed and has more events in the City than ever.”
“But he works in investment banking. The demands are the same as they’ve always been but he’s now competing with younger and probably more ambitious colleagues. It’s a cut-throat career. You knew this when you married him and you said you could deal with it.”
“Don’t judge me, Camilla.”
“No… I’m not judging you, darling. I’m just trying to understand what’s going on here. If he is cheating then I’ll kill him but you have to be sure. If you accuse him of this it could destroy your marriage and your life… your children’s lives.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Dawn’s voice cracked. “Sorry, I don’t mean to sound defensive. I just hate this. I mean… I love him so much but I can’t deny that things have changed.”
“What evidence do you have that he’s been cheating?” Allie asked.
“He’s been getting calls and text messages at funny times. And I know it could be colleagues and clients but I just have a gut feeling that it isn’t. At least not all of them.”
Camilla crossed her legs and drummed her fingers on her kneecap. “But that’s still not sufficient evidence to convict the man of adultery.”
“I went into his email account this morning.”
Camilla sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth. “Oh dear.”
Dawn held up her hands. “I shouldn’t have and I feel dreadful for it. Snooping is the worst but I had to know.”
“What did you find?” Allie’s tone was soft and inviting confidence.
“An email titled FYEO.”
“FYEO?” Allie shook her head.
“For your eyes only.” Camilla explained. “Did you read it?”
“Yes, Camilla. Of course I did.”
“And?”
“It seems that my husband has been arranging a weekend away at a luxury spa with some woman called Brianna Mandrell.” Even saying the name out loud made her feel queasy.
“Oh.”
“Oh? Camilla, I thought you’d be furious.”
Her sister sighed. “Look, Dawn, maybe it’s not what it seems like. Maybe it’s—”
“It does sound a bit suspicious, Camilla.” Allie chewed her lip. “I’d certainly advise speaking to him about this as soon as possible, Dawn. Just to clear it up.”
“But if I do that, he’ll know I’ve been snooping. He’ll never trust me again. I mean… I’ve turned into a completely paranoid, emotional, swollen, pregnant snooper.” She huffed and covered her face with her hands.
“Insecurity can drive us to do things we wouldn’t normally consider doing.” Allie rubbed Dawn’s back. “But this really would be best out in the open.”
“I know.” Dawn muttered into her palms.
“Or perhaps not.”
Dawn lowered her hands and met Camilla’s eyes.
“You think I shouldn’t say anything?”
“I just think you should give Rick a chance here. You know… he could have a perfectly good reason for this email and for all the other things that are worrying you. Why don’t I have a word with him?”
“That’s probably not a good idea. But thank you anyway.”
“I could do it from a sisterly perspective. If you do it, you’ll get emotional, but if I do it, I can keep calm and find out the truth.”
“I don’t know, Camilla.”
“Give me one chance. I’ll be careful how I say it. I’ll just… elicit the facts.”
Dawn looked from Allie to her sister then at her hands where they sat in her lap. Her nails hadn’t received any attention in ages and the cuticles were ragged from where she’d chewed them. And as for her hands; they were red and chapped from where she’d washed them repeatedly then failed to moisturise them. She just didn’t have time for such self-care anymore. Had Rick gone off her because she didn’t make enough effort?
“I think I should try first, Camilla. I don’t want to make things worse.”
“Up to you, sweetheart. But I’m willing to talk to him if you want me to.”
“Thanks. Right… I’m going to get my nails done.”
“What? Now?”
“Yes. I haven’t had them done in a lifetime. I’m going to see if Jenny can fit me in at the salon.”
“I’ll come with you.” Camilla started to rise.
“No, please don’t. I need some time to think.” Dawn stood up. “Thanks, Allie. Speak to you later, Camilla.”
She opened the door to the café then turned to wave at her friend and her sister, but Camilla had already taken Dawn’s seat on the sofa and was deep in conversation with Allie. She glanced up and flushed when she spotted Dawn watching her.
Was something going on with Camilla too, or was she expressing her concerns at Dawn’s behaviour?
Dawn shook her head then left the café, wondering how she was going to get through the next few months, but hoping that a manicure might be a good place to start.
6
Sitting in the stylish salon, Dawn tried to focus on what Jenny was saying, but her mind was jumping around from one scenario to another.
“What was that?” Dawn asked. “Sorry, Jenny, it’s pregnancy brain.”
“Oh, so you are pregnant?”
“Yes. I take it you had your suspicions then?”
Jenny shrugged. “Could’ve been that you’d put a few pounds on, so I’d never have said anything.”
“A few pounds?” Dawn lowered her eyes to her belly. “We were going to tell people soon, make it all official, but we wanted to tell the children first.”
“Well congratulations! That’s fabulous news.”
Jenny watched Dawn’s face.
“Isn’t it?”
“It is. Fabulous.” Dawn sighed. “It was just a bit of a shock.”
“Not all babies are planned but they bring the love with them. Isn’t that how the saying goes. At least, it’s something like that. Anyway, good for you. I’ve always thought of you and Rick as the perfect couple. You seem so happy and so perfectly matched.”
Dawn bit the inside of her cheek. Was that how others saw her and Rick? As perfect? If only they knew the truth. She swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the painful lump that had lodged in her throat.
“Thank you. That’s a very kind thing to say.”
Jenny smiled then looked down at Dawn’s nails again. “There you go. That looks much better doesn’t it?”
Dawn admired the shimmering lilac polish that Jenny had applied to her nails. Her cuticles were now neat and her hands looked much better because Jenny had soaked them, exfoliated them, then smoothed in a rich rose scented lotion that made Dawn think of Turkish delight.
“Tell you what, shall I do you a pedicure too? On the house?”
“That would be lovely. But I’m happy to pay.”
“Won’t hear of it. My way of saying congratulations.” Jenny shook her head and her long blue hair fell over her shoulders. Dawn found it hard to keep up with the stylist’s changing hair colour, just last week it had been dyed different shades of grey and now it was a rich azure blue that reminded Dawn think of foreign summer skies.
“Well, thank you. But I do need to pop to the toilet first.”
“Of course.”
Dawn got up and made her way to the back of the salon then went through the black door and into the toilets.
Ten minutes later, she emerged.
“If you want to take a seat here, Dawn, I’ll soak your feet in…” Jenny stopped mid sentenc
e. “Dawn?”
She hurried over and took hold of Dawn’s arms. “What is it? You’ve gone white as a sheet.”
Dawn opened her mouth to explain but the dull ache in her abdomen caused her to hunch over with fear.
“It’s all right, lovely, just sit down. Everything will be okay.”
But as Jenny lowered her into a chair, everything went black.
The sound of whispering dragged Dawn from the warm, dark place where she’d been floating. The whispers sounded familiar and she knew, deep inside, that she had to surface.
But it was so nice in the darkness where she was weightless and didn’t have to worry about anything.
Except for Laura and James!
She needed to pick her children up from school.
She opened her eyes and sat up quickly.
“Dawn?”
Rick leaned over her, his face pale and his eyes pools of concern.
“Dawn, lie back down.”
“What? Where are Laura and James? I need to get them from school.”
“No you don’t. Your mother’s going to pick them up today and give them dinner. Dawn you’re in hospital. I came as quickly as I could. Camilla rang me. She said… she said that you’d collapsed at Jenny’s salon and that Jenny called an ambulance then called her.”
As Dawn settled back on the pillow in its white starched hospital-issue pillowcase, it all came flooding back. She’d had her nails done then gone to the toilet. She’d discovered blood in her underwear. She’d gone back out to tell Jenny then felt all woozy and… that was all she remembered. Except for being in an ambulance with a very kind female paramedic then being wheeled into the hospital and into a room where she’d been told to rest while they organised tests and a scan.
“But I only fainted. I didn’t need to come here.”
“They were concerned because you blacked out and because of the bleeding. Jenny was in a right old state apparently.”
“Poor Jenny.”
“Poor you!” He took her hand as he perched on the side of the bed. “I don’t know how I’d manage if anything ever happened to you, Dawn.”
A Year at The Cosy Cottage Café_A heart-warming feel-good read about life, love, loss, friendship and second chances Page 15