“Deal!”
“But you’ve always been beautiful. Just look at you on here with that lovely dark hair and those sparkling emerald eyes. You’re stunning, Camilla.”
He placed the frame carefully back on the shelf and turned to her.
“Shall we eat?” she squeaked as his eyes found hers and she saw something in their depths that stirred her heart.
“Okay.” He nodded then followed her into the kitchen.
They ate slices of the savoury pie with creamy potato salad and washed it down with the lemon water. It was a simple meal but a good one, and Tom made Camilla laugh as he regaled her with stories of his childhood. She had some that she shared, from before Laurence left, but after she turned ten, there weren’t many good memories. Not until she went to university and escaped Heatherlea for a while. But she loved the village and had always known she would come back to live there. So what had she been keen to escape? Certainly not Dawnie, who she had always adored, so had she needed to escape her mother and the shadow of the past?
She took a sip of her water as a bitter taste filled her mouth. Camilla loved her mother, she really did, but Jackie had been difficult to live with. Difficult to be around every day. And Camilla had felt selfish but she had wanted to live, to stretch her wings for a while and going to university had allowed her to do that. She’d come back and settled into her life again, knowing that she’d be there for Jackie whenever she needed her, and in the time she’d been away, her mother had seemed to relax her hold on Camilla and to grow in terms of her own independence. So it had been good for both of them and for Dawnie too, especially when Dawn had gone to university and had her own taste of a life without the shadow of Laurence and what he’d left behind.
Camilla realised that she still blamed her father for leaving but she knew Jackie was to blame for some of what had happened too. And yet… it was all such a long time ago and life had moved on. People moved on and always would do. Camilla might be able to move on herself if something happened between her and Tom. She’d never thought she could care for a man and the one sitting opposite her right now was altering her long held belief by the minute.
“That was a delicious lunch, Camilla. I’ll wash the dishes, shall I?”
“No, no. Leave them.” Camilla stood and carried her plate and glass to the sink. You’ll be going soon and I’d prefer to spend the time enjoying your company than washing up. I’ll do them later. Let’s have a cup of tea and go and sit in the lounge.”
“If you’re sure.”
“I am. Do you want to light the fire?”
Tom nodded and went through to the lounge while Camille made tea. She put two mugs on a tray then filled them with tea from the pot once it was brewed and got a packet of biscuits from the cupboard. She arranged the biscuits on a plate, wishing all the time that Tom wasn’t going soon and that they could spend the evening together.
When she entered the lounge ten minutes later, the fire was already crackling in the grate, the Christmas tree lights were twinkling and Mariah Carey’s Christmas hits flowed from the stereo in the corner. Tom was on the sofa, his left arm stretched over the back of the seats and his eyes were closed as if he’d fallen asleep as soon as he sat down.
Camilla gently placed the tray on the coffee table and sat next to Tom. She turned in her seat so she could look at him then wriggled closer so that his arm was behind her. She breathed in his now familiar scent, enjoying how good he smelt and how comfortable he seemed in her home.
Suddenly, he grabbed her and pulled her closer, causing her to squeal.
“What’re you staring at Ms Dix?”
“You had food on your face.”
“What?” He raised his eyebrows. “That’s not true!”
He pulled her over his legs then started tickling her. She writhed as his fingers wriggled over her tummy and hips then under her arms, and tried to tell him to stop but she couldn’t because she was laughing so hard.
When he finally stopped and helped her to sit upright, she realised she was sitting on his lap with his arms encircling her. Her heart pounded as he moved his head closer to hers and when their lips met, she moaned softly with delight. They kissed for a while, gently tasting each other and Tom ran his hands over her face and shoulders then up and down her arms. Her whole body responded to him and she slid her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.
“Camilla?” Tom pulled away slowly but didn’t release her.
“Yes?”
“We should stop.”
“Why?”
“This wouldn’t be right.”
She surfaced from the fog of need and desire as quickly as she would have if he’d thrown a bucket of iced water over her.
“What?”
“Not like this, not when I’m going away for a few days.”
“Oh.”
“Believe me, it’s not that I don’t want to… because I really, really do. I just don’t want to make love to you then have to leave you until next week. If I made love to you now, I would want to hold you all night.”
Camilla wriggled off his lap and swung her legs over the sofa so she was sitting next to him.
“Can you understand that?”
She met his warm chocolate-brown eyes and tried to read them. Was he being honest? Did he really desire her as much as she did him or was he letting her down gently? Had she read the signals wrong and thrown herself at him? Camilla never threw herself at anyone; the men who wanted her did all the chasing and she was the one to pull back or walk away. Always.
She reached for her mug of tea and cradled it between her hands.
“Yes, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I understand.”
Tom touched her cheek then rested his hand on the back of her neck. Emotion bubbled inside her. She wanted him to want her, to care for her and to need her but she was afraid to tell him. He would probably be scared away and she hated to show any weakness. She never wanted to be… like her mum had been.
“Maybe when I come back, we can pick up where we left off. I have some things to sort when I go back to Brighton but next week, I’d love to see you as soon as I’m home. Would that be okay with you?”
Camilla nodded. Although her body was aching with longing and her heart was pounding with insecurity, she knew deep down that Tom was being very sensible and very adult about all of this. It was how Camilla would normally be. Cool, calm and in control. But today she wasn’t and that was because of Tom.
A giggle burst from her chest.
“Camilla? What’s funny?” Tom frowned in confusion.
“Oh…” She shook her head. “It’s just me and my strange sense of humour.”
She raised her mug to hide her smile. She wanted to explain but surely Tom would think her mad because she was actually delighted that she was feeling everything so vividly around him, and she was in awe of her own emotions. Even though she was apprehensive, she was happy. Tom had awakened emotions in her that she didn’t know she had, let alone the scope of their intensity and depth.
So she would wait until he returned and look forward to seeing him again, to seeing if this could go somewhere. She hoped with all of her heart that it would.
14
“Put your finger there.”
“Gosh you’re bossy, Dawnie.”
“Only when I need to be. Now come on… finger!”
Camilla pressed her finger to the knotted ribbon and held it there while her sister tied a big red bow.
“Lovely. Don’t you think?”
Camilla nodded.
“And that’s it then, ladies.” Allie stood back and admired the three tables of festive baskets.
“This is really generous of you, Allie.” Camilla stood next to her friend.
“I’m just trying to give a little something back to the village that gives so much to me.”
“Heatherlea is a lovely place to live, isn’t it?” Dawn asked as she rubbed her bump.
“I love it here. Especially since Chris came back.”
Allie smiled and Camilla groaned.
“Well don’t you find it even nicer since Tom moved here?” Allie met Camilla’s eyes.
“I’ve always loved Heatherlea. I’ll admit that there have been times when I’ve been a bit down and have enjoyed the escape of heading into London, or flying away somewhere warm, but I always come back.”
Dawn wrapped an arm around Camilla’s waist. “You always did, Camilla. You always came home to look after me and Mum.”
Camilla smiled then eyed the baskets that Allie had packed for the elderly people of the village. Inside each one was a jar of homemade jam, a bottle of ginger cordial, a Christmas cake, six mince pies, four gingerbread people and a small box of chocolates. The baskets had been packed then wrapped in cellophane that was tied with a red ribbon.
“When are you going to deliver them?” she asked Allie.
“I won’t.”
“You won’t?”
Allie shook her head. “Jordan and Max have volunteered. It’s so handy having their help. They make a great team.”
“They seem really happy.”
“Yes they are. And to think I had no idea that Jordan was in love with his best friend. It couldn’t have worked out better for them.”
Dawn stretched and groaned.
“Right Mrs, get yourself onto that sofa with your feet up and I’ll make us some gingerbread hot chocolates.”
“Now you’re talking.”
“Camilla, you too.”
“No, I can help you.”
“Nope! Sit! You’ve helped me enough this morning.”
Camilla and Dawn went over to the comfy leather sofa near the window and sat down. Dawn moaned as she sank into the leather and Camilla helped her to prop her feet up on a cushion that she placed on the coffee table in front of the sofa.
“”I know you’re tired, Dawn, but you’re glowing today.”
“Thanks. I don’t feel it though. This baby is sapping all my energy.”
“How are Laura and James?”
“Excited. They finish school on Wednesday, so then it’ll be Christmas mayhem.”
“It’s lovely though isn’t it? The excitement of Christmas. I love seeing their faces when they open their presents.”
“And next year there will be another one to enjoy the fun.”
“I’m excited about that.”
“Camilla…”
“Yes.”
“When were you going to tell me about Mum and Dad?”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh come on… it’s obvious.”
“I was waiting until it was more… permanent. I didn’t know if they were just getting to know each other again and if it would all go wrong. It still could do and I was afraid that you’d get hurt all over again.”
Dawn nodded. “I can see why but I am all grown up now, Camilla.”
“I know that.”
“I’m grateful to you for the way you still look out for me but I can take the truth and it’s better for me to know about things like this. Otherwise I might… you know… accidentally FaceTime Mum when she’s… well, you know.”
“You didn’t!” Camilla covered her eyes for a moment.
“I did and she must have forgotten that I could see her. I guess she was caught up in the passion of the moment and she answered when she was naked.”
“With Dad?”
Dawn nodded. “It wasn’t a pretty sight, let me tell you.”
“I caught them at it too.”
“See! If you’d told me then I would have been prepared but as it was, I had to quickly cover the screen of my phone and tell her to get dressed.”
“I’m sorry.”
Dawn took Camilla’s hand. “It’s okay. At least it’s out in the open now.”
“And how do you feel about it?”
“I’m happy for them. I was a bit surprised. I mean, after all those years of Mum calling him every name under the sun, I didn’t expect her to jump into bed with him again. But she’s an adult woman and she knows what she wants… or at least her body does.”
“I guess so.”
“Let’s just hope it works out for them.”
“Or we’ll be picking up the pieces.”
“Exactly. And to be honest with you, much as I love Mum, I’m not going to have the time with two kids and a baby. It’s not fair that you should have to spend all your time taking care of her either.”
“Well let’s see what happens. Who knows… perhaps there’ll be a wedding and we’ll be able to let them live happily ever after.”
Dawn laughed. “Oh I hope so. It would be nice wouldn’t it? To have parents who’re together. I have missed Dad, even though he was a total bastard for leaving us.”
“I don’t think it was quite as clean cut as we thought, Dawnie.”
“No?”
Camilla shook her head. “More to it. Some of it Mum’s fault.”
“Well that’s to be expected really, isn’t it? It takes two to make a relationship and two to break it. At least, that’s what I want to believe. Otherwise it’s a bit hard not to still feel mad at him isn’t it?”
“It wasn’t all his fault. Hopefully, in time, he’ll speak to you about it too. He didn’t say anything negative about Mum but I know that the blame can’t be placed entirely on him.”
“Here we go, ladies. Gingerbread hot chocolates and Christmas cake.”
“You’ve cut your cake early for us?” Camilla asked.
“Not my own one, no. I made a load for the baskets and there are a few left over, so I thought we could enjoy some now.”
Camilla handed Dawn a china plate with a slice of shiny brown cake on it, then she took a plate for herself. She sniffed the slice of cake and aromas of cinnamon, orange, mixed fruit and marzipan made her mouth water. The cake was packed with sultanas, raisins, dates and cherries. The top and side had a thin layer of yellow marzipan and a slightly thicker one of crisp bright white icing. As she bit into the cake, her mouth was filled with festive cheer.
“Delicious, Allie,” she said once she’d eaten it.
“Thank you. It’s the same old recipe I use every year.”
“It’s so good. Never change it.” Dawn licked her lips. “The heartburn will be worth it.”
“Oh no! Do you want some milk?” Allie asked.
“It’s fine. I’ll have my hot chocolate then see how it goes. I have antacids in my bag anyway. I carry them everywhere.”
“How are things going with Tom?” Allie asked before taking a sip of her hot chocolate.
Camilla shrugged. “He’s busy, I’m busy, so… we’re just enjoying each other’s company when we can.”
“All right…” Allie nodded.
“I think she loves him.” Dawn bit her lip and giggled.
“Look, little sister, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean I’ll let you get away with comments like that.”
“Like what?” Dawn widened her eyes. “I’m hormonal. I’m allowed to be a bit… emotional about things.”
“Excuses, excuses.” Camilla wagged a finger at her sister.
“But you do love him, don’t you?”
“No I don’t. It’s far too early to be making such sweeping statements.”
“Is it?” Allie met her eyes.
“Well yes. We’ve only been out together a few times and I do like him but it’s nothing more.”
“No?” Allie smiled.
“No.”
“Where is he now?”
“He’s gone back to Brighton to see his parents before Christmas but he’ll be back early next week.”
“And how do you feel now that’s he’s away?”
Camilla stared into her mug. How did she feel?
“He only went yesterday.”
“And?” Dawn nudged her.
“I feel terrible. All achy and empty and I just wish I knew I’d be seeing him later.”
“See!” Dawn clapped her hands. “It’s love.”
�
��No it’s not. At least I don’t think it is. Oh god… how would I know?” Camilla looked at her sister then at her best friend. “How the hell do you know when it’s love?”
“You just do.” Allie nodded. “In here, in your heart. You’ll know if he’s the one you want.”
“But what if I let myself believe that then he doesn’t feel the same way?” Panic surged through Camilla at the thought. What if she did let herself love Tom and he didn’t reciprocate those feelings?
“That’s a chance we take on love but after seeing how he was gazing at you during the pub quiz, I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about.” Allie sighed. “In fact, he seemed so smitten that even Chris commented on it.”
“He did?” Heat warmed Camilla’s cheeks and a lovely glow spread through her.
“He did. When we got home, he told me that he thought Tom seemed well loved-up.”
Camilla covered her chest with her hands and took a few slow deep breaths. She felt dizzy, elated and confused and had a sense that she was falling, yet she knew she was sitting on the sofa in Allie’s café. But perhaps she wasn’t actually falling anywhere literal; perhaps she was falling in love.
“The physical effect of all of this is quite… alien to me.”
Allie and Dawn nodded.
“Am I going to be okay?”
“Of course you will.” Dawn patted her hand. “We’ve got you. And this is a good thing.”
“A very good thing,” Allie added.
“Oh look… I’ve finished my hot chocolate.” Dawn pouted as she stared into her empty mug.
“I’ll make us all another one, shall I? After all, Camilla’s falling in love, so she needs all the strength she can muster to deal with the emotions.”
Camilla nodded, wondering why her eyes had filled with tears and why she suddenly felt shaky. But as Dawn pulled her into a hug and she rested a hand on her sister’s curved belly, she realised that it would all be okay. She had her family and she had her friends and she had the added security of being able to enjoy the comfort of The Cosy Cottage Café.
The emotions swirling inside her were new but they were good. So she was going to enjoy them and embrace them, just as she would embrace Tom when she next saw him. And she couldn’t wait for that.
A Year at The Cosy Cottage Café_A heart-warming feel-good read about life, love, loss, friendship and second chances Page 31