by L. Ann Marie
She moans and I tighten my arm around her. She’s worth it. Her hand slides across my nipple and I suck in a breath taking the shot of adrenaline straight to the balls. She smiles with her sleepy eyes and pushes herself up. “Whatever you did, I want more.”
I laugh. “It was all you babe. Extreme release is yours whenever you want it. Just another service in the Short-Blackhawk pleasure chest.” She winces then kisses me.
“I’ll never complain.” She kisses down my chest and licks my nipple with the flat of her tongue.
“Fuck that feels good,” I moan out loving the little smile on her lips.
Her hands are all over me. I hold my body still so I can feel every second of it. When her hand wraps around me I move with her. “Jesus babe I don’t know how you could make this any better.”
She looks at me and I see the uncertainty in her eyes. It passes and she’s got steel replacing it. “I do.” She’s got my dick in her mouth and I’m not moving.
“That would do it.” I push back moving us so I’m leaning against the headboard and can see her. “Watching my dick slide out of your mouth fuckin’ does it for me babe. That’s so fuckin’ good.” She sucks harder and my head spins. Jesus. Her hand moves higher and she scrapes her nail across my nipple. I moan trying to keep control. She fuckin’ does it for me is an understatement. Her hands on me would be enough to lose my load in them, but her fuckin’ mouth is killing me. She strokes down my sack and I explode.
With my heart beating normal again I tighten my arm around my Little Pixie old lady. She got me off and fell back to sleep. I smile thinking I could do this for life. Losing the smile, I wonder again why she won’t marry me. I feel like she’s sure and ‘all in’ too. Why doesn’t she want my name?
I raise her up and move pillows under her when I slide out. “Out Nekanis.” I throw shorts, the walking brace and sneakers on and run. My back feels better and I don’t notice anything, but the muscle burn from my leg.
When I see Taylor, I start walking. He had another dream, but is feeling good right now. I OC it to Prez and Jessie. “Brother. You’re up earlier than usual.”
He smiles. “Yeah. I got an hour before Precious is up. You doing okay?” I nod. “Beth gave Dean Mitch’s book. I thought sleep would come easier for you all relaxed and shit.”
I laugh. “That explains a lot. Thank Beth for me and no, sleep hit her not me.”
He laughs. “You’re fucked up Brother. You need to talk?”
“Yeah.” He turns and we start walking. “She won’t marry me. I gave her the cut and told her the old ladies like the paper with it and she said the cut is enough.”
He stops and turns toward me. “She gets what the cut means?”
“Yeah, she’s making plans for forever, but I can’t read her. I’ve got no fuckin’ clue what she’s thinking. What if she thinks I’ll turn into the fuck-up I was and walks?”
He shakes his head no. “Who the fuck put that shit in your head? No one thinks of you as a fuck-up.” He’s pissed thinking it’s all in my head. I want to tell him that would be an indication of a fuck-up, but he keeps going. “You have fuckin’ readers begging for the chance to work with you. Give them the job of reading her for you. Find out why she’s okay with just the cut. Maybe she doesn’t need any more than that.”
That would be a good thing to know. He could be right and I’m stressing over nothing. “Yeah. Thanks Brother.” I turn and start walking then stop. “Taylor?” When he looks back he stops and faces me thinking this is important. To me it is. “At the MC, I trained with everyone else. When everyone was sleeping, I trained. I did everything I could to be ready for when I was needed. You were already gone the first time I was at the Club. Every fuckin’ time the whores felt bad for me, they called me the lost boy. Shelly ended up the only one I would see. She didn’t look at me like that. She was so much older, but I didn’t give a fuck as long as I didn’t get a pity fuck.” He looks down thinking he should have been around. “It wasn’t the women that thought of me as a fuck-up, just the lost boy in need of their pity but it was the Brothers Taylor and some of the KC. They didn’t understand what I could tell and couldn’t. They would see me and think every single fuckin’ time they did, that I was a waste, I was a fuck-up. Years of being a fuck-up to them had me moving to the reservation where I wouldn’t let anyone down. I’d give Jeremy, Tess and Aubrey what I saw and stayed away. I don’t say I was a fuck-up because it’s what I think. I know I’ve changed from that man, but I can’t change what other people think. Some still see me as either the lost boy or the fuck-up.”
He’s right in front of me and hugs me holding on a little longer than is normal. “I’ll kill them all. Who the fuck thinks you’re a fuck-up after this last month?” He runs his hand down his face. “You have enough shit to deal with. You don’t need fuckin’ asswipes throwing doubt on you Brother. Tell me and I’ll take care of it.”
I smile. Like Darren asking who to shoot, the Brothers that believe in me have no doubt at all. “It doesn’t matter anymore Brother, but you thinking it’s all in my head bothers me. I have purpose and focus now and the ability to fix the shit I see. You matter Taylor. My family sees only me. It feels good and I don’t want to go backward with doubt in your head about what’s in mine.”
“I didn’t know Christian. I wish to fuck I stayed and helped when I was needed. Hearing the shit that was going on when I was away fuckin’ sucks when I can’t do anything about it.”
I slap his back. “It is what it is Brother. We’ve all made it to the men we were meant to be. With everyone running in different directions I’m surprised Mom and Dad aren’t gray and drooling in their rockers.”
He cracks up. “Yeah, we were a handful.” He shakes his head then focuses on me. “I can see where people can alter the way you think about yourself. Never have I thought of you as a fuck-up. I hate the way it rolls out of your mouth so easily. Get it out of your head Christian. If it weren’t for you none of us would be here. That’s about as far away from a fuck-up as you can get. Stop saying it for me Brother. Knowing how you got those thoughts in your head is worse than wondering. Yeah?”
“I’ll work on it. Thanks Taylor.”
He turns running the other way thinking he still wants to kill the Brothers. I shake my head and look at Nekanis. “I fuckin’ love my family and the Brotherhood.”
Chapter Fourteen
Christian
On the way home I connect with Jeremy and Aubrey, telling them my plan. Jeremy fuckin’ laughs. Aubrey agrees right away. She’s asking Elizabeth and Blaze to help. I know Blaze will tell Harley and Sandy. This is working out well.
My old la—lover is still sleeping. I shower and dress then raise her up and slide in bed lowering her onto me. As I’m doing it I smile. Sometimes it’s fuckin’ great to be me.
When she opens her eyes, she’s smiling. I hope I get to see that every day. The world is perfect for that one moment. “Morning my Little Pixie lover.”
Her smile gets bigger. “You’re awful chipper today.”
“Could be from the phenomenal fuckin’ blowjob you gave me or I like to see you smile when you open your eyes. Either way it’s a good day.”
She laughs. “I feel the same. You’re amazing and I like your smile.”
“I need to get to work early. Do you need a ride?”
She shakes her head no. “I’m driving my awesome car with the Prince logo. I’m pretty sure I won’t get stopped from here to the school.”
“You’re feeling okay? You were out for fuckin’ ever.” I watch her closely, but she shrugs it off.
“I’m fine. I’ve been out for longer, but I don’t feel all foggy like I used to. I actually feel a little giddy.”
I can’t look at her face any longer and moan taking her tit in my mouth. Her hands go right in my hair. I fuckin’ love it. “I gotta go little lover.” I kiss her pouting lips. “I like the look of those lips.”
She smiles. “Bye Christian.”
>
“Work, my Brother.” I smile following Nekanis out.
At Security I pull up my sheets and find my people on tracking. I have a reader class and training at the MC today, but we have lunatics running around trying to get a foot in the door up there. Uncle Danny needs to be warned, but I’m not going anywhere near MC-Baxter. Pres is driving me crazy.
I get to the meeting and see Princes has some shit jobs going on and I’m glad to be hopping up to Mass.
Just as I hit my office, Nancy calls excited about the clothes. She didn’t think the clothes fit what she heard about Dean and was waiting to meet her. Since we were due up there this weekend she’ll have the clothes and hats at the shop for Dean to pick through. “I don’t want her picking through clothes. She’s been wearing whatever they could afford since everything she owned burned in the house with her parents. Just send everything you get for her. I’m getting rid of anything she has now.” She laughs then hangs up. “People really need to learn to say goodbye.”
“And not talk to themselves,” Terry says sitting down.
“Yeah. What’s up?”
He doesn’t want to ask. I smile wondering why he came in. “Jacob is here and Billy said he’d help if he’s needed. Prez said it was okay. Can I go with you to training?” He talks so fast and it’s muffled in the back of his throat I take a second to get what he said. “I swear Christian, I won’t get in the way.” He thinks I’m going to say no.
“I don’t think you’d be a problem Brother, just the opposite, if you know how they’re trained you’ll be better prepared in Ops for them.”
He’s so relieved I almost laugh. “I got twenty minutes, right?” I nod and he runs out of my office saying he’ll meet me at the truck.
I connect with Aiyana and I’m relieved everything is calm there. I’ve seen nothing today that causes me concern. Checking on Dean I watch her in the classroom. Brandon has her laughing and I’m struck by that carefree look. It’s just like the one from Serenity’s memory.
Since all is right in my world we make our way to the truck.
* * *
Dean
The kids help get everything cleaned up and put away. I still can’t believe they’re working on a way to clean water. When I walk out to the front with the baby and Nash, Done picks Nash up giving him a hug. “I missed you little buddy. You doing good?”
“We’ve all missed you Done. I’m so glad you’re back. The subs were sub-par.”
He laughs. “It’s not good to hear that, but it feels good to be missed.”
Beth pulls up and we get the kids out to her. Since I’m done for the day, I decide on a ride. I let Done know where I’ll be and wait for Security to pull up behind me. I start my first class next week and I’m excited and nervous. My mind jumps to Christian, he was in good spirits this morning, I hope he’s still smiling when he gets home. I flip on the radio and start singing with Marc Anthony who croons about needing me then marrying me. I’m smiling the whole time. I’m already an old lady Marc. I flip the station and it tells me this is Blake Shelton. That’s weird, he’s a country singer. He sings about God giving him me. I hit the station again and get an old song about going to the chapel. What the hell is going on here? I hit another station and Train wants me to marry them. I shut the radio off.
I’m an old lady. Christian doesn’t need the paper and I have no one to come for a wedding. I put up my doors and realize I’m humming the Marc Anthony song. Damn I’ve got it bad. I smile and make my way home.
* * *
Christian
“Babe, I’m at the reader class. How far out are you?”
“I’m in front of the house. I’ll be right there.” She hangs up.
You’d think a simple goodbye would be easy. She’s at the door just as I open it. “My damn radio is broke. Every station is love songs!” Her arms are waving around and she’s glaring at me like I did it.
Fuck, who could pull that one off? “I’ll have someone look at it tomorrow babe. Right now, I have a class. You ready?” I keep the smile off my face and guide her to the back parlor. Our readers are waiting. It’s a good class and Dean is updating my sheets as I move from one reader to the next. Shilah comes in and talks with people throwing what he’s getting from them. I give it to Dean, but she’s reading right from him. I step back and watch smiling. This is working out well.
When Shilah is finished, he stands in front of us. “Shilah this is Dean my lover.”
I see the shock on his face then he smiles. I hope to fuck he’s blocking her. ‘I am Brother.’ I relax and he looks at Dean. “Nice to meet you Dean. It’s about time Christian found his woman. When are you getting married?”
Her face is beet red and she looks away. I smile and wave my hand at him. “She’s wearing my cut. That’s enough for her.”
Dean just watches as if we’re a tennis match. ‘She seems happy with that.’ He throws to me then nods. “That’s all that matters. Glad you’re happy Brother.”
‘Seems?’ What the fuck does that mean?
‘I get the feeling there’s more to her just wanting the cut. There’s a sadness in there.’ He looks at two readers talking.
‘Thanks Brother.’ I look at Dean. “Shilah is the man with the jobs. He needs to get these people working and I’m fuckin’ starving. I’ll have someone pick up your car from here. My radio works and you can get your fill on the way to eat.”
She bounces right to happy. “Thank you! The radio thing is driving me nuts. Sheila set my stations to classic rock and new rock. The stupid thing had country singers on it.”
I throw chin to Shilah and guide her out smiling the whole way. Dakota and Prez could change music. Jeremy and Aubrey too. Fuck. Mase and Devan could do it. I have too many fuckin’ people that could pull that one off. As soon as we get in Bruno Mars is singing about marrying him. I bust out laughing when she hits the station, button. Aerosmith is on and she relaxes. “Maybe it’s just the music babe.”
Her hands start waving while she talks and I clench my jaw. “There was sixties music, country and some God forsaken ballad that sounded like opera. This is not normal. Something is wrong with the radio. I had good music last time I drove it. I need some discs.”
I smile. “I’ll get you discs babe.”
“Because you’re the best.” She leans into me for a kiss.
I take her to the Italian place by the PD and throw Smithy chin as we walk by. He stands then is on one knee and I’m holding in my laugh. I stop and watch holding Dean against my side.
“Emma I’ve waited a long time and don’t want to waste another minute of my life without you as my wife. I don’t have another fifty years to give you, but I’ll give you what I have and make it good for you. Will you marry me?”
Everything is quiet as if everyone is waiting for her answer. “Get your fool self up. Of course I’ll marry you. No need for a hip replacement before it’s time.” I crack up. The whole place is clapping and I’m thinking I need to thank someone. I wish I knew who that was. I slap Smithy’s back and I kiss Emma’s cheek congratulating them. They ask about Dean and I tell them the same thing I told Shilah. Dean is blushing and trying to pull me away.
We take our seats and I ask her, “What babe?”
She leans forward. “You keep telling everyone I’m your lover,” she whispers.
I lean forward. “You are,” I whisper, then sit back. “I don’t like old man, partner or paramour. You don’t have a problem being my lover, do you? I thought you were particularly happy last night.”
I get another blush and smile. “Well, no, but the way you keep telling everyone is embarrassing. You could call me your old lady.”
I clench my jaw and shake my head no. “I don’t like old man so I won’t call you old lady. No one ever had a problem with it, but I can see where it isn’t politically correct and could be offensive. If my Little Pixie lover isn’t happy with it, I’m not using it.”
The waiter shows before she can answer and we
give our order. She’s quiet and I let her think. Since she’s not stressed by the people sitting closest to us I’m happy to eat and watch emotions play across her face. They know me here and don’t sit anyone too close so it’s a nice meal. I ask about her day and she smiles telling me about the kids and clean water.
Chapter Fifteen
Two days
Dean
“Really? This is all for me?” I walked in to the bed piled high with bags and he’s standing here smiling.
“Yeah babe. Why don’t you take Nekanis for a walk and I’ll get it put away?” He would too.
“I can help.”
He shakes his head no. “I did this. I’ll clean it up. Go relax on the beach. I’ll be done with this in an hour.”
A Prospect walks out of the closet with two big bags and drops them at the door then goes back in the closet. Since this is considered normal only to freaky MC and Prince people, I take the dog for a walk.
I sit and watch Nekanis playing in the surf, after a while Serenity sits by me. “Hey sis. What’s up?”
“Freaky shit. There’s a mountain of clothes on the bed and Christian says they’re all for me.” I’m totally disgusted by the thought of more damn clothes that I didn’t get to pick.
Her hand takes mine and gives it a quick squeeze. “I’m sorry baby girl. If I knew I would have stopped him.”
I nod. I know she would have. I know I should be more appreciative, but I want to cry. It’s been so long since I felt like me, the real me. I miss my happy clothes and dressing for how I feel. Now I just throw whatever I have on. There is no me in anything anymore.
I stand up. “My hour was up about twenty minutes ago.” She stands and walks with me feeling bad about the clothes. “How is the job?”
She’s happy. I smile, it’s about time. “I love it. Every day I love it more.”