by L. Ann Marie
Jessie hits my arm. ‘You paying attention?’ he’s yelling in my head.
‘I sent it to them earlier. Nothing’s changed.’
He nods and looks back at Ricky. When they finish, Ricky and Jessie stay. Jessie has questions and Ricky stayed to explain when I get pissed. I smile seeing it and he pegs me a finger. “Explaining isn’t one of your strong suits Brother. That’s why Pres always wants to shoot you.”
Jessie laughs. “You send the Ops to Ricky?”
I nod. “And Uncle Steve. I tell them who needs to be where and they pair Security or HS and whatever they need to do their part.”
He nods. “No wonder my dad hit the fuckin’ freaky trail so hard.”
Me and Ricky crack up. “I don’t plan their Ops, just where the Protectors are. I don’t have anything to do with their shit.”
Ricky doesn’t stop laughing and Jessie is looking at me like I’m nuts. “Brother, in a matter of like two fuckin’ months everything in MC world was flipped around. Ricky’s running fuckin’ Ops and from what I know, half the Club. You’re the go to for whether they go on living and Uncle Danny is as fuckin’ freaky as Mucimi.”
I smile at him. “Your kids are as freaky as Mucimi—they all are. I just tell them where Protectors need to be and Ricky was born for this job. I didn’t make or control any of this shit. I’m just trying to keep ahead of it.” He shakes his head no. “My job isn’t fuckin’ controlling shit, it’s just keeping the vision alive. That’s it. I didn’t ask for it, but it’s what I’m meant to do. As long as I do the job I don’t get all the fuckin’ talking about it.”
He puts his hands up. “I see that Brother. Relax. I see where your focus is narrowing, but didn’t realize how much until right now. Dakota says you need a pure heart to do your part. I see nothing, but good in you Christian. I’m just trying to understand where the disconnect is and how I can help.”
I nod blowing the fight out with my breath.
“You need a fuckin’ handler Brother.” Ricky is thinking Devan being here was good and wonders how to get me to see the changes from their side. Since I’m on their fuckin’ side, I push it away.
Jessie stands looking at him. “That’s my job. I got this Brother. Have Pres watch the feed. It may help him understand.” Ricky nods and walks out.
I pull my phone to call Prez and Jessie puts his hand on mine then pulls it away. “I’m just calling Prez. I don’t know why everything is such a fuckin’ dramatic event here, but he gets all this.”
He slaps my back. “Let’s get lunch and I’ll explain it.” I roll my eyes and we follow him out.
* * *
Dean
This is my first field trip and I’m excited. We’re going to a battleship docked at town four. I’ve seen it from the bike, but never up close. The kids are excited and Holly had them learning about the ship and some of the men that sailed on it. One became quite the accomplished writer and kept daily logs.
“We’re ready,” Done says from the door. Holly nods and he takes Chance. I follow with Mucimi and Aquyà. Stella is bouncing around and Brandon takes her hand walking in front of me. Honor is with Holly and Phoenix. Teller and Justice walk in front of me.
I’m thinking they’re good at field trips and Justice looks back. “If we want to go on more we need to show we’re responsible.”
I hold my laugh and nod. “Got it. I’ll do my best to be responsible too.” No hanging out the windows yelling at cars for me.
He shakes his head no and keeps walking. Holly is laughing and she doesn’t even know what I’m thinking. Damn kids.
We pile into a huge SUV and get everyone settled and belted in. Prez gets in with us and I’m surprised. “Christian and Jessie are at the MC. HS is short today so I’m in and Sheila and Aaron are our Team leads.”
Wow. I didn’t expect him to explain it to me.
He smiles. “For the old ladies, I explain.” He nods to Done and we’re off, with Prez inside and two teams outside.
We talk about the ship and Prez asks them questions. I have no idea about the guns, but the kids do, so I listen while watching out the window.
What the hell? I look at the billboard again then look at Holly. “Does that say marry him Dean?”
She looks where I’m pointing and laughs. “No, it’s for an ambulance chaser.”
I look again and shake my head. It’s not blue with white writing anymore, it’s an office picture with red words on the side. I am losing it. Prez looks back, but doesn’t say anything. He must think I’m nuts. First the damn radio, then the discs, now street signs.
Done pulls in so I put up my doors and leave it for later. We spend hours on the ship finding out every single battle it went through. Mucimi is excited, sad, then asks a million questions through everyone else. It’s weird and funny. In the gift shop, they look at everything then Justice hands the woman money as a donation from the Little Brothers. Prez laughs and writes her a check. She tries to give the kids a toy, but Stella asks for a book, then the boys want one. They are the strangest kids, but so damn smart and sweet I think the woman would have given them everything.
We take our happy group home and they’re talking about everything on the ship. I tell them my parents were going to go on a cruise for their thirtieth anniversary this year and they start talking about the dinner cruise ship. The MC and Princes run it and the money goes to the schools. How damn cool are these people?
Prez laughs. “You should get Christian to take you on it.”
Being trapped on a boat full of people far from land does not sound like a good time. He nods. “I didn’t think of that. You need a place where you can go to relax and just have fun.” I forgot he is a reader.
I can’t help smiling. “He takes me everywhere. I like the reservation. His dad said he can help him build a house there.”
He turns back looking out the windshield. “Cloud is a good carpenter; his house is beautiful and he built his grandmother’s house too.”
I just realize no one else is talking. I look around and they’re all looking at their books, even Chance. We’re close to the Compound and I see more bikes around us. Something has more Security with us. I watch, but I’m thinking about Nunánuk’s house. It’s a log cabin that looks like it’s right out of a book. We don’t need anything that grand. I can’t wait until we start building it. We can go there to relax and have fun. The reservation has everything right there. Mucimi throws me pictures of houses and I laugh. Then I stop and look at him. Could he? “Did you change the sign?”
“No.” He holds my eyes and I nod. That’s a whole lot different than throwing pictures in my head.
At the school Prez wants to talk to the kids so me and Holly go in. They carry their own backpacks so we have nothing, but ours on. “That was a trip. I hope we have more.”
She laughs. “You were good, so we’ll take you on the next one. It’s to the sundry building. The kids are heating it with plastic and filtering the water. Stella is excited for that one.”
I laugh, she’s six.
* * *
Christian
‘Mase, a bike is coming at you. Rounding the corner, he’s hiding a gun.’ I turn with Jessie and fly toward the truck that’s trying to outrun us. “Now Mase!”
I move to the side and Jessie takes the driver’s side as I slow the truck. Devan is talking to Mase and VP to Colt and Blake. I’m pulling on the truck, but the driver is hitting the gas. I throw pain through him and stop the fuckin’ truck. Too much is going through my head. As soon as I stop I pull off my helmet then the ear piece.
“Devan I can’t keep Ops in my ear. Shut off my helmet from MC Ops too.”
‘You’re good Brother. Tell me if you need something.’ Thank fuck he talks in my head without all the chatter.
Cars are going around us when PD pulls up. Jessie hands the pussy off and looks at me. “You need a minute?”
“No, I get them all without the piece and it’s fuckin’ distracting. I can tell t
hem what’s coming without all the extra chatter.” I put my helmet back on.
“Where to Brother?”
I like that he’s not asking me to explain shit and tell him, “The backyard.”
We hit the truck that was waiting for the pussy that PD just picked up and we’re done. “MC-Baxters.”
I let everyone know where we’re headed and get Jessie’s conversation with VP. The other Teams are rolling in. I’m fuckin’ beat. Dakota meets us at the door. “Another good day Brothers.”
I smile because it was. Dakota holds my arm as we’re walking to the meeting room. It’s weird, but he’s throwing energy that I need—so I take the weird with the help. I sit and jump. Brothers are showing, but I stay on the rock until Ricky and VP come in. When I jump back I feel VP and look at him.
“You good?”
“Yeah I’m good.”
He laughs. “You are, meant the ears.”
Everyone laughs. “I can talk to them without it, all the rest is just a distraction.”
“Devan said that. Don’t wear ‘em on Ops. He shut your helmet down. Tell him if you need it back.”
I planned on it, but getting the okay is good too. Elizabeth and Harley walk in and everyone cheers. “Good fuckin’ job,” VP tells them.
Elizabeth liked that. She throws him chin making me smile. Harley is watching Bob and gets chin giving it back. Nice. It’s about time they got theirs. The ‘rents will never know what it feels like to train for so long just waiting to be called. They deserve this.
We get the status and Brothers file out. Dakota stops me from standing. “One more Brother.” He points to the boards and Prez, Darren and Devan are on it.
I throw them chin and move to the other side of the table so I see them there. Ricky sits on one side of me and Dakota the other. I’m shielding from both of them.
“Dean doing good?” Ricky asks.
“Yeah. She’s excited about the party. You bringing your girl?” He tries to block me, but I see it.
“No. She doesn’t do crowds, but I’ll be there Christian. I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Shield for her. I do it for Dean all the time. We’ve been in restaurants and the Club no problem.”
He sits back. “If I was you that’d be easy. I struggle shielding myself from all their shit.”
Dakota sits back and I smile. We should have sat at the end. “I can teach you to shield better. After this we can look at our schedules and add it in. We do not need to be together for that.”
“Thanks Brother. Everything is getting louder lately. It’s good, but fuckin’ hard to make it around the Club now.” I hear relief in his voice, but think about his words. He’s reading more now.
VP, Jessie, Uncle Danny and Pres come in. I throw chin and look up at my Prince Officers. Pres sits at the head of the table and I’m surprised. He doesn’t normally sit.
“You can read him. I’ve been all through his fucked-up head and see the change, even when it happened,” Uncle Danny says.
I nod weighing my words. “No disrespect Uncle Danny, but when you were pissed everyone in the fuckin’ room saw me coming from the whore’s room shaken. They saw you look at Pres and exactly what he was thinking. It’s not a memory I plan to relive. I get what everyone else is thinking. I can get deeper and have. I just don’t need to anymore. I got what I needed from him, nothing else is needed for me to do my job. My commitment has not changed. If anything, it’s stronger and more focused now than ever before.”
He nods and looks up at Prez. “You’re blocking all of us?”
I look at him and see Darren’s question, but answer Prez. “I am shielding, but I think that’s changing. I don’t want everyone’s thoughts before they’re spoken. I’m not shielding you from my thoughts.”
“Explain Dakota,” Ricky says making me smile.
“This is not so easily explained. Daily I am trying to keep up with the changes. I can tell of the man I see from visions. Christian becomes hard like VP. He does not like explaining now and later only explains to me and our great Leader. He does not see his abilities change, but feels them after we notice. He will be the most powerful of ability Brothers and the ancestors say that is how it should be. His heart is pure and mind is clearer without negative thoughts from others. He will avoid those and continue to do his job. When he says he does not need approval, he truly means it. His focus is the vision and nothing or no one else.”
I look at him. What about Dean? He smiles. “Dean is there as well.” My whole body relaxes. This is from visions and she’s with me.
“He already took what he needed from me?” Pres asks.
I’m not answering this a-fuckin’-gain. “He did. He pulls information from people when he needs it. If he has questions he will look for answers, procedures or memories. He does not need to ask, he just looks and takes what he needs. If you took a class he will find your notes and thoughts on the subject.”
Jessie laughs. “I could have used that.”
Pres doesn’t look happy and I look up at Prez. ‘What is this? I’ve got real shit to do.’
He nods. “I’m asking you to give him a few minutes.”
I nod turning to Pres wanting to hurry this along. “You would keep me alive hating the man, but protecting the vision?”
I nod. “Yeah.” His hands go through his hair. “Pres, I respect the fuck out of what you’ve done. I saw the old Club. I saw the shit you dealt with. Even after the Princes split you worked for the vision. I don’t hate you. I’m just not a little kid needing approval to accomplish what I’m meant to do. For years, I lived with your thoughts—hoping one day to be needed—but every fuckin’ time, seeing what you thought of me.” I shake my head. “By the time I was fifteen everyone was on a leaderboard, but me. I was already ahead of them. For me to see that negative and how much I’m worth to you, in your mind, will take away from what I need to do. I mean no disrespect, but I’m not going backward. It isn’t necessary and I’m happy being right where I am.” I haven’t taken my eyes off his so he sees the truth in me.
His jaw clenches and I wait. “So, it’s the vision, not me, you’re protecting?”
Jesus. I stand up looking at Prez. He’s watching Dakota. I’m not going around in circles. I pace, but don’t answer. “Yeah.” Prez answers for me.
“Why is explaining this so fuckin’ hard?” he asks like this is all on me.
I stop and turn. “I have shit going on and I’m here, again, explaining the same shit over and over. You’ve gotten guidance from every fuckin’ person here and Wall. Why the fuck do I have to answer too. I’m just a fuckin’ Protector—not a Prophet, a Leader or inner circle. Use what they’re giving you and let me do my job.” I don’t add, that doesn’t require fuckin’ stupid meetings, but I mean it.
Uncle Steve laughs. “This will be fun.” He throws money down and everyone follows. I look at Prez. ‘Is there a fuckin’ point here Prez?’
His hands go in his hair. “There was Christian, but we’re so fuckin’ far from it I don’t know what the fuck to tell you.” He looks at Pres. “Dakota told you about his unwillingness to explain. You’re jumping back to pushing his fuckin’ buttons. If Dakota says it, it’s true. If Christian says it, it’s true. Their abilities work off a pure heart. You know that too. Get over him not bowing down. At this rate, it will never fuckin’ happen. You had a point walking in, maybe you should get to that.”
Pres is pissed. I move above the table to the door. “Nekanis.” I don’t need more of this fuckin’ shit.
“Wait!” Pres yells and I stop and turn. “Apparently, I need to get used to a level of disrespect I don’t normally see.” No one laughs.
I just look at him. Seriously? For fuckin’ years I lived with it. I catch Dakota’s eye and he tells me to wait. I lean against the door watching Pres run his hands through his hair.
He looks right at me. “Knowing you are the most powerful Brother throws me. Knowing you hold my life in your hands throws me but knowin
g it’s the vision and not me you’re protecting kills me. I know I did that. I didn’t understand and hurt you in ways that will never heal. That’s not easy to live with.” He pauses and I think he’s waiting for an answer.
“Nope, it wasn’t, but it’s not an issue holding me back anymore. I’m good Pres.” I turn and he stops me again.
“Jesusfuckin’Christ will you sit for a fuckin’ minute and hear him out?” Jessie barks at me.
I pull out the chair by Uncle Danny and sit looking at Pres. If Jessie tells me to sit, I sit. Pres is deciding what to say. “You sat because he’s your Officer?”
I nod.
Ricky stands up looking ready to spit nails. “This meeting had a purpose. Christian, Pres gets exactly what your purpose is. LB showed him the boards and how it all works. He has gotten advisement from all of us and your ancestors. Knowing what your purpose is and how we keep the good moving forward, we’re offering you a seat on inner circle here at the MC. We need your skill and insight to keep going. He gets it and we have a vision from the readers that he actually does get it.”
I stand up. “No, thanks Brothers. I’m honored, but I’m not even inner circle at Princes.”
“What the fuck? You most certainly are. Prez just meets you at different times.” Jessie’s into barking today.
I move around so I can see the board and Prez is smiling. I smile and shrug. “I didn’t know, but thanks anyway Brothers, I’m already inner circle.”
Everyone, but Pres and Ricky laugh. “Why?” Pres asks.
“Because of that. I already explain shit too much. You will still get what I have. You still get the protection. You still get the advice. Whether you use it is up to you. I’m doing my job no matter what meeting you drag me into. It’s a fuck of a lot easier if I don’t spend fuckin’ days explaining shit. I’m honored, but not interested in more meetings. You have people here that can answer all your questions. I will tell you, again, you need to get to the source of the attacks. Running Ops for-fuckin’-ever will get old for everyone. You have the information and the warning I gave you. You’re too focused on what isn’t important. Your life and Aubrey’s are still out there. For every day you waste, the Princes are even more under the gun. Fix that Pres. We’re fine.”