by Gage Grayson
Her words wake me up like nothing ever could. I hate to think that it was Katy who did this, but I have a sinking suspicion it was her. How many other hackers do I know that have their sights set on making big banking corporations pay?
Maybe it was just a coincidence. Maybe it wasn't her.
"I'll be right there," I say. "Make sure security's at the building."
I hang up with her and feel absolutely dismayed. How could this have happened? I knew Katy had eyes on my business. I guess she wasn't as reformed as I thought. She obviously went through with her mission.
I get up and take a quick shower before dressing in my finest suit. I'll likely have to deal with press and all manner of police today depending on the situation and how far she took it.
I get in my car, and even though I know I should go to the office immediately, somehow, I find myself meandering the car to Katy's part of town. I'm gonna go to her apartment and check on her first.
I get to the aged building just as the sun is starting to come out. I wonder if she's even awake.
When I get to her door, I take a deep breath before knocking. This is gonna be the moment when she learns the truth about me. Whether she hacked into my system or not, she's gonna know the truth today.
I'll reveal everything and then she'll fix whatever she did and things will go back to normal.
I wait and I wait and I wait. And then I determine it's time to go in. The door is not locked, and it swings open easily. I peer around and see that Katy is not there. This tells me everything I need to know.
I'm crestfallen. She's left. And I know why.
She's somehow discovered my dirty little secret...that I'm the owner of the bank. I lied to her, and now I've been caught...or rather, I've been had.
She obviously hacked into the bank to show me that she's over it, independent, gone.
Her apartment is left tidy as always. The bed is made and her few belongings are there, but she isn't.
I feel absolutely devastated. I feel like someone just kicked me in the stomach. I feel sick. And I feel like I know that Katy will never forgive me.
From her perspective, it must look like I used her. Every moment of our time together will look fake to her. She doesn't know that I have feelings and that I care. Maybe she never will know these things if I can't find her.
In this moment, being in her apartment alone without her, I know that the truth comes to light no matter what. I can only imagine the betrayal she must feel from me.
I sink onto the bed and hold my head in my hands for a few moments trying to discern my next steps. My phone is buzzing over and over again.
The secretary keeps calling and all manner of other people are calling me, trying to get the bank up and running. It's the last thing I want to think of.
All I want to think of is Katy. All I want to do is to go find her.
Maybe I should feel enraged that she robbed my bank. Maybe I should feel lucky that I'll never have to see her again. But none of that exists for me. Only the fact that she's possibly on the run, out of my life forever, is real.
Time slows down, and I realize the enormity of what I've done. I should've told her the truth earlier. Maybe if I just told her, we could've avoided this fate.
I stay in Katy's apartment for a while until I finally drag myself up and go to work. The last thing I want to deal with is the logistics of the situation.
I don't want to know how much money was stolen. I don't want to know how badly she got me back for betraying her. All I want, and all I need it is Katy.
I think I just made the worst mistake of my life, and there's no going back.
I drive slowly because I know it's gonna be an absolute shit show once I get there. Everyone is going to be up in arms about catching a criminal, and what am I going to say? I'll never turn her in.
I love her.
I take the VIP elevator up to my VIP penthouse that contains my VIP life and suddenly it all seems less important than before. Money was my passion.
All I cared about was making more and more income. But by meeting Katy, I've been the one to be reformed.
She taught me, no, she showed me how the underprivileged people of this nation really live. I know her work is all about granting them freedom. And now she sees me as the enemy—she sees me as a creepy spy who used her body, mind, and soul.
All I can think about is how I've lost her. I've lost the one thing, the one person that I've ever cared about.
The elevator doors open to absolute chaos. Everyone's panicking and nervous and running around.
They ask me any number of questions that I can't answer. I tell them that the IT department should be handling it. I give orders for that to happen and for security to be increased around the building, then I lock myself away in my office to brood.
My secretary once again interrupts my private time. "Sir, the IT department is doing whatever they can, but it's hard because whoever did this seems to have been extremely well-informed. They're having trouble getting the system back up and running. What should I tell them? All we know is that the person who did this must've been very good at the destabilization work."
I smiled bitterly and answer, "Yeah, she is good."
My secretary casts me a weird glance. She doesn't what I'm referring to.
My company is in a tailspin. I try to manage everything as best I can even though my thoughts are elsewhere.
Katy occupies my thoughts all day. I know she did this and I know why. I can't take back what I did. I can't take back withholding the truth from her, but she certainly paid me back for it.
After four hours, they're finally able to restore the online banking system. The IT team has managed to find the exact amount that was taken plus all the money lost because of transactions that didn't go through during the morning.
This whole fiasco has cost me millions of dollars. I should be reeling over that fact. Instead, my mind and heart are with her...always her.
I feel like I don't have closure. I still need to explain everything to her. She deserves to hear the truth from my side.
With that in mind, I give my investigators a call. I have Mark on the line in no time.
"You need to find her," I say to him sternly.
"No problem. We'll have her soon enough. Don't you worry."
He doesn't know when or why I need to find this girl. He likely thinks that I'm sleeping with her, but my investigator is nothing if not trustworthy. He won't tell my secrets to anyone.
I pour myself a very stiff drink. It's only midmorning, but I need it.
I look out at the open view I have of the city. My skyscraper towers over all the others. I have an unobstructed view of what's going on down below and also I'm so high in the sky that I'm untouchable.
Normally I like to be up here like this. But without Katy, all seems lost. Nothing seems quite right in my life knowing that she is out there somewhere, running from me.
I know that she's an escape artist. This is my worry. Katy's so good at hacking her way in and out of situations that I know if she doesn't want to be found, there's a very good chance I may not be able to.
I could never see her again. Our love affair may have ended just as abruptly as it started. I'm just not okay with that.
I determine that if my investigative team can't find her, I personally will comb the streets day after day until I have her in my arms again.
This is my solemn vow.
Katy
The stale air does nothing to brighten my mood.
Nothing can bring me out of the state I'm in.
I gave my heart and it got trampled on. Now I feel disenfranchised, used, and abused.
The pain won't go away. I've tried drinking a bottle of wine, taking a bath, and even running away to this one small motel at the outskirts of town.
Nothing helps.
When I shut my eyes, all I see is him. When I open my eyes, all I dream of is him. There's nothing anyone can say or do to take away my pain. It
's always there.
And most of all, I feel as though I've been taken advantage of. I dared to put my heart out there. I dared to trust. And look what happened.
I thinking of myself as weak—but that’s not who I really am. He stole not only my heart, but also my identity. I no longer know myself.
A knock on the door startles me.
I go to the window and peek out between the blinds to see that it's only my pizza delivery.
Damn. I should've remembered that.
I pull up the hood of my sweatshirt so that I'm somewhat unrecognizable.
What I did to Marcus's bank, Pinnacle Financial Group, has made the national news. It's the biggest bank in the country, so I wasn't expecting otherwise. But aside from that, because the bank is so big, the whole country's financial status has been put in jeopardy.
This is why I've been in hiding at this seedy motel somewhere off the highway for the past couple days.
I open the door, push some cash into the deliveryman's hand, grab the pizza, and shut the door in one fell swoop.
I don't want to see anybody. I just want to be alone, to console myself. It's not like I have friends or family to lean on. Times like this remind me why I do what I do.
You can't trust anybody in this world.
I've learned that the hard way too many times. This last instance with Marcus was just the icing on the cake.
I let a hot guy sweep me off my feet and I forgot that I don’t depend on anybody. I don't let anybody in. I wasn't careful, and now look at the situation I'm in.
The motel has peeling wallpaper and lamps from the 1970s. The little box TV rarely works and the walls are so paper thin that I can hear most of what goes on next door.
I've come to know my neighbors so well that I know everything they fight about and that they have mundane sex.
My only consolation here is that I have my laptop. At least this way, I can continue hacking, and I can read the news and stay connected.
Luckily, my time here is almost done. I can't stay in one place too long. I plan on making my way down the road. Maybe I'll go west. With my skills, it’ll be easy to create a new life anywhere.
I can become a different person. I can erase my old identity and just morph into somebody else. At least, that’s the plan.
But first, I need the news to die down enough so that I'm not recognizable in the streets. The last thing I need is to go to prison. That might be harder to break out of than just the local jail.
And then I find myself thinking mostly about Marcus. I wonder if he is so angry at me that he wants to smash a wall or something. I wonder if I've ruined his business so badly that can never recover. I wonder if he understands why I did this.
I watch the news online and, after a couple of days, a bank representative releases a statement. She tells the media that they have no knowledge as to who did this and why it was done, but that they're doing their best to capture the culprit.
This surprises me. Marcus knows I did it. He should've told the police about me.
That's why I've been in hiding. But instead, the company says they know nothing. What is that about?
I'm resigned to my fate—that I have to leave New York City. I’ll miss this place, but I know that I can be myself anywhere.
All I need is a computer and a bed, and I'm good.
For the next few days, I watch a lot of news coming out about the bank changing its policy, as well as its regulations for the employees.
They lower the requirements for small businesses to start a loan. They give more donations to charitable institutions, and the laid-off employees are hired back.
This turn of events makes me feel optimistic for the future of the employees of the bank. Maybe other banks will follow suit and change will finally be made.
In truth, I don't know why the bank has rescinded its previous policies, but I don't care. I'm just happy that I'm starting to see some change—any change.
And as for me, I just want to stay hidden. My heart is broken after knowing that Marcus deceived me for such a long time. I feel like a hermit, and I never want to show my face in public again.
I've made so many bad decisions in the past couple of weeks. Usually, I have my life together. Usually, I don't trust anyone and that's why my life wasn’t a mess.
But somehow, I allowed myself to get swept up in one man—a man who was my enemy all along.
The constant ache in my chest is enough to remind me every moment how much love can hurt. I never should've been with him. I was naïve. I blame myself.
But that doesn't make the pain go away. Some nights, it feels like my chest is going to split into two. That's how bad it hurts.
I sleep a lot and I eat and I do a couple small hacking jobs. But mostly that's it. For two weeks, I'm holed up in this stinking motel room.
Just as I'm getting ready to make my next move, just as I'm getting ready to leave this place and to start anew, I see a live TV show where Marcus is a guest.
I don't want to watch it. I shouldn't watch it. But I can't turn my eyes away because I just need to see him.
It fills a hole in my heart, makes it stop hurting for once.
I know I'm being indulgent and that I should hold back, but seeing his face is the healing balm I've needed all these weeks.
I watch attentively as Marcus tells the host that someone made him realize the harsh realities of life. He admits that, before this happened, he was superficial—that he was just seeing the partial side of living.
He tells the host, "I feel the need now to help people, to know that I'm making a difference in their lives. There are people out there suffering. There are people in this city who are living in unbearable conditions because they just don't have the resources. What's the point of having money if you can't use it to help people?"
The host is astonished. I am astonished. And I'm sure the world is watching, too.
Tears stream down my face. I wonder if maybe I made the tiniest of difference in Marcus's life.
Maybe, at least, that part of our relationship was not fake. Maybe seeing those poor people in the slums of the city made him understand why I did what I did.
The host asks him, "So, where is that person today—that person who inspired you?"
Marcus looks down, a frown on his face. He looks at the host and says, "She's gone now, but I hope that she will come back one day because I miss her so much."
I pause and hit the rewind button. I listen to the statement over and over again.
Can it be true? Does Marcus miss me? And does he regret all that happened?
I put my heart out there and it got crushed. Dare I hope it can be put back together by the same man who broke it in the first place?
Seeing him on TV and hearing those words offer me the smallest glimpse of hope. It's something that I thought would never happen. The thought of him—and of this being real—does something to alleviate my pain. At last, I can breathe again.
I don't know enough about love to know the answer right now. But what I do know is that Marcus put himself out there, on TV, in front of everyone and asked me to come home.
Marcus
The bright stage lights nearly blind me.
The make-up artists hover around me, and so does the stylist.
The studio is so big and daunting given that I'm broken inside—not one part of me wants to do this interview.
The cameras roll and, once again, I'm sitting across from a popular television hostess who's asking me questions about my bank and about all the changes we've made.
"Marcus, you own the largest corporate bank in the country. How can you explain the recent turn of events? First, your bank was robbed of millions of dollars, and now there are changes taking place within the infrastructure of your organization. What's causing all this?"
I think carefully about my words. I have to be careful with what I say. A lot hinges on this interview.
"Well, there's no doubt that I've changed. I've been able
to see how other people live—and not just the people at the top one percent. It's opened my eyes. Seeing poverty and the inherent goodness of most people who are just down on their luck made me want to help.”
I place my hands on my lap and glance at the camera. “I own a bank, and it's one of the largest—if not the largest one—in the country. I have the financial means to help people, but I have not been doing that until now. One special person helped open my eyes to see how it's my obligation as a leader to help the less fortunate. So that's where all the change is coming from."
The hostess looks intrigued, her eyes widening. "So, you're telling me, and you're telling the world, that someone changed your mind in a big way. It must be someone very special to change a man like you."
I put my guard up. I can't tell the world about Katy. No one can know who she is. I would never disclose her identity because I know she likes to keep things quiet. Also, she's on the run from the law and I'm not going to be the one to turn her in.
I want to be the one she comes home to. Her safe harbor. But I know this can only happen in my dreams. Right now, she probably hates me.
"The person is special," I admit. "But this isn’t just about me. Everyone with money needs to understand that there are ways to help the underprivileged. There are many organizations that are dedicated to helping the poor. If you go to our website, you will see a list of reputable charities that need help."
I figure it’s the least I can do—to use my newfound platform in the media spotlight to highlight some of Katy's work. Granted, I'm doing it in a legitimate way. It makes me smile to think of Katy—the rebellious hacker with a good heart.
Maybe if so many financial institutions change their policies for giving back, Katy won't have to steal in the future.
"Thank you, Marcus for speaking with us today. You've given voice to an entire range of people that usually go unheard."
The interview's over and I'm glad for it. I'm happy to spread the message of how my bank is changing the lives of other people. But it's hard to be happy about this when Katy is missing from my life.
I'm dying to see her. I just want to hug her and go back in time—to erase all the lies that I told her.