by C. M. Owens
"You two are getting really close really quick," Brock says, surprising me. "Just don't let her control you."
I laugh, only because that's ridiculous. "She's not controlling me."
"Then why have you stopped hanging out with us and having parties? It's not a secret that Raya is a recluse. Now you're turning into one."
I roll my eyes while tying up the trash bag and walking it down to outside trashcan. It'd probably be wise to omit what I'm doing right now.
"I'm not a recluse. I had Raya's family thing, a week in Aspen, and then several other things to do. Then I've got work, too. Sorry. It's just been hectic."
My stomach twists in anticipation, waiting for Raya to get home. She needs to hurry. I can't wait to show her the vineyard.
"Whatever. Call me if you decide you want to go with us to Silk next weekend."
I hang up just as the door to the front opens. Finally.
"There you are," I say, grinning as she lifts her eyes to meet mine. But something's wrong.
When she wraps her arms around me and hugs me like she needs me, I get worried.
"You okay?" I ask when she trembles in my arms.
"I am now," she says softly, her body moving closer to mine.
I’ve never felt as though I was important—something necessary. Until this moment, no one has ever made me feel needed. But right now, I’d give my soul to the highest bidder to always feel this way. Because I really like being the person she chose to come to. I’ve never had that before, and that’s a level of trust that warms me to my core.
I start kissing her cheek, slowly moving my lips to find hers, not knowing what else to do. What was meant to be a soft kiss turns into a hungry, desperate entanglement. My tongue slips into her mouth, and her hands fist in my hair as she pulls me closer. Before I know it, I've picked her up by her ass and her legs have wrapped around me.
Her kiss becomes more devouring, and she melts in my arms, losing whatever was weighing her down when she walked in.
"I love you," she says suddenly, shocking me to the point I go stiff and still, releasing my lips from hers as those three words slowly sink in.
She loves me? I couldn't have heard that right. I'm not ready for that. She's not ready for that. We just started dating.
I don't know how I'm supposed to react to that. It's all happening so fast since I finally got her, and I'm not sure what I feel.
She starts to withdraw, probably feeling rejected. I may not be ready to say it, but I'm sure as hell not ready to lose her.
Before she can fully back away, I jerk her to me and give her the most powerful kiss I possibly can, reassuring her that I need her here with me. I pick her up, push her against the wall, and groan when she wraps her legs around my waist again.
Bedroom. We need to be in the bedroom. Now.
She holds on to me while I carry her across the house to our bedroom, preparing to make sure she never doubts what I feel for her. I've never needed something so badly as I need this. My body is on fire, and the way she's kissing me back only fuels me, making me hungrier.
Once I have her on the bed, I do good not to rip her clothes off like some barbarian. They land in a heap, seeming intact, and I revel in her bare body beneath me.
I feel like I've let her down when I see her expectant eyes. She's still waiting on me to say it.
"I want you to stay here," I murmur while kissing her neck, simultaneously kicking out of my jeans.
She doesn't say anything, which worries me, but then she pulls my shirt over my head, making it hard to think about anything else. My mouth is back on hers. She parts her lips, inviting my tongue in, and I'm quick to take the invitation. I grab a condom from beside the bed without breaking the kiss, and then slip it on.
Her words keep running through my head, and her silence is driving me crazy. It stirs a primal need in me to make her say it again. When I sink in and she tightens around me, I lose it.
Any sense of sanity is stolen away with every new twist of her tongue in my mouth. My thrusts get so forceful that I'm forced to break the kiss, which enables me to watch her as I bring her closer to the ecstasy she wants. It's too much. I need to close my eyes, but I can't.
My breath catches in my throat when the words she wants to hear roll to the tip of my tongue, but I swallow them back down and channel all my energy into giving her something she'll never forget. When a harsh grunt falls through her lips, that primal stir kicks back in, leaving me greedily wanting more.
She moans, screams, and calls my name out in unison, a medley that causes me to explode. My whole body goes stiff for a minute as everything in me tenses and shudders in release, and I start to worry I'm about to black out. I believe I just found the definition of epic.
Slowly, my body turns languid and I drop down to be on top of her, my head coming down on her chest. I decide to keep her pinned in case she tries to move, because I don't have the energy it would take to bring her back.
Her fingers running through my hair calm my worry, letting me know I haven't ruined this by not telling her what she wants to hear. My whole body relaxes, but I still want her to promise to stay.
"I mean it, Raya," I say while panting for air, sounding as though I just swam across the ocean.
Holy shit. I don't know if I'll ever be able to move again.
"Hmm?" she mutters absently, her fingers still slipping through my hair.
"I want you to stay here. I don't want you leaving at the beginning of the semester."
She's quiet for a minute, so I start making plans to kidnap her. Obviously that's the next sane choice.
"I won't leave," she says, allowing me to put away my blueprints for abduction.
"Good. Now how the hell am I supposed to drive to the vineyard after that?"
Her laughter fills the room, bringing me a peace I didn't know I lacked. I'm not sure what she's doing to me, but I hope she never stops.
Home. That's what this place has always been to me. When the grapes are in season, this place can't get any more beautiful. I have a feeling that'll change once I see Raya in it. The grapes won't seem as glorious anymore. The more I think about it, the more it scares the hell out of me.
"So... this is it," I say while pulling in, unable to hold back my excited grin as I shove all my worries away.
"Colton Wines?" she asks, her eyes trained on the sign. "This is your family's?"
I wanted her shocked, and she is.
"My grandfather's. My dad's dad."
Her eyes scour the land, taking everything in, and her mouth drops as it all registers. Then she looks back to me.
"So not what I was expecting, considering the way everyone has depicted your father's upbringing."
I snicker while turning down the ungodly driveway. I always forget how long this damn thing is.
I explain the summarized version of how Colton Farms became Colton Wines, enjoying the way she seems to be hanging on every detail. She never once seems bored or annoyed as she soaks it all in. In fact, she seems to be mesmerized, which only empowers me.
"This is the business you'll be taking over?" she asks when I finish, letting all the pieces work together, and I can't help but smile bigger. It feels good to be sharing this with her and seeing her so interested.
"Yep. People assume I'll be taking over Burndell Industries, but I couldn't care less about all that boring shit. This... this is me. It's my home. When I came out here as a kid, I couldn't get enough of the farm. Granddad taught me about the grapes, the lands, and the farming portion of the business. The older I got, the more I came out here. I'm here once a week usually. It's been a little longer since I came out here... since I haven't been able to tear myself away from you since you moved in."
I see the house just ahead, so I pull her hand in mine to kiss it before parking the car. Her grin is infectious.
"Wow," I hear her gasp in awe as I step out of the car.
Her eyes are moving around quickly, making sure she takes in every bi
t of the cedar, hand-carved details, and breathtaking landscape. I'm not sure why it matters so much to me for her to like it, but now it feels as though I can take a breath.
"There's my boy," Granddad's voice announces, making me smile as I head toward him.
The chemo seems to be working good for him, considering how well he's getting around. I'm not big on hugging usually, but he's an exception, considering he's the only person in this world who has ever had complete and total faith in me.
He pats my back roughly, proving he has plenty of strength, and then he whistles when he sees Raya, appraising her as though he's impressed. If he's impressed now, he'll be blown away once he gets to know her.
"How the hell did you convince a pretty girl like that to ride out here with you?" he jokes, prompting me to laugh as I make my way back toward the nervous girl.
Threading our fingers together, I pull her toward him, happy to make introductions.
"Granddad, this is Raya Capperton. Raya, this is my grandfather, Thomas Colton."
"That's the best you can do?" Thomas pokes. "You're supposed to introduce her as who she is to you as well. That's how it works. Friend? Girlfriend? Fiancée? Wife?"
Wife? He's lost his mind if he thinks I'm ever getting married. But... what is Raya? Shit. We should have discussed this earlier.
"You'd know it if I got married," I say, stalling as I try to think of how to introduce Raya. "This is my... girlfriend?" I say, but I sound pathetic when it comes out as a question.
"Are you asking or telling?" Granddad teases, making me feel all the more awkward. Of course he couldn't let that go. God forbid he let me hold onto my dignity.
"I suppose... telling?" Hell. It sounds like a question again.
Why is such a simple question so hard to answer?
"I swear, boy. If you have a girl who looks like her, you say 'girlfriend.' You don't stumble around like an idiot who's waiting on her to clarify. Be a man."
Granddad was my favorite in the family. Until this moment.
Raya bursts out laughing, and I'm sure I'm turning pretty damn red right about now. Mean old man.
"Be a man," Raya adds, teasing me. But it actually makes me relax to hear her joking about it.
"Don't encourage him," I grumble, making both of them laugh.
Her lips have the power of a siren's song, and I allow myself to crash against them for a kiss I wish I could take farther.
"Come on in. Show her around," Granddad says, seeming amused when I pull back.
I'm sure that has a lot to do with the fact I've never once brought a girl around this place. Plenty of girls I know have come, but I never brought them personally. No one else would have appreciated it the way Raya is, so I'm glad she's my first.
As my own words resonate, an odd shiver runs through me, and I breathe in deeply. Fuck it all. I'm falling a lot harder than I meant to.
Once we're inside, I stand back and let her digest her new surroundings. Her smile brightens as she looks around at the wines and sugary treats Granddad insists on having. I'd prefer just the wines, but this place will always have all sorts of other things just because it'll make me think of him.
Raya moves slowly around the store, her eyes drifting to the signs in each room. Then she tucks her hands in her pockets, suddenly seeming uncomfortable as she warily shifts away from a selection of wines.
"You good?" I ask, letting my fingers run through the strands of her hair that shouldn't feel so silky after our windblown trip out here.
"Paranoid," she says, eyeing one of the merlots and prompting me to laugh.
"If you break something, I'll try to talk to the owner about giving you a pass. We're pretty close," I playfully retort, drinking in the sound of her laughter.
I could get used to seeing her smile and laugh like this everyday. I'd prefer to never see her as lost as she looked when she got home today.
When a small silence descends on us, I realize she's waiting for me to speak. Which is perfect, because I could talk wine all day. At the risk of sounding incredibly pretentious, I start telling her everything in small, summarized bits.
I explain the grapes, Granddad's intuitions, and then I answer her questions about the wines. She doesn't think I'm smug or boring. She's smiling and genuinely interested.
Every time I tell her something new, her eyes light up, making my chest contract harder. When she leans in to me and starts asking more questions, something inside me snaps.
"I need to go check on a large order we're supposed to ship out tomorrow. Care to hang out for a minute?" I ask, ignoring the thunderous thudding in my chest.
She smiles and offers me a permissive nod, and I kiss her cheek, needing distance and air. As soon as I hit the outside, my knees give out, and I drop to an old rocking chair. Hot and cold chills of panic, along with dread consume me, and I do what I can to keep my cool. This wasn't supposed to happen.
Fucking shit. I'm in love.
I've been looking at this order for a while, and I've barely checked any of the crates. Raya is in my head, consuming my thoughts, and eating me alive. How did I let this happen?
"You keep staring at that page and I'm going to start worrying," Leonard says from behind me, startling me a little.
I've never been too fond of Granddad's lawyer being here so much. I'm really not crazy about him helping out with the orders lately, but I can't seem to get my head out of my ass enough to concentrate.
"Just a little distracted," I murmur vaguely, rereading the same line of the invoice yet again.
"I'd be a little distracted, too, if I had a pretty girl like that riding around with me."
Even he has to go and remind me of Raya.
I look away from the invoice to see him smiling. He circles the table, keeping that grin on his face.
"You two serious?" he asks, his probing unwelcome.
I really don't need questions like this right now. I'm having a minor panic attack as it is. Are we serious? Apparently we're both too serious too early.
"Have you already inspected this order?" I ask, changing the subject.
He moves around, glancing at the invoice I'm struggling with.
"Three times, but you're welcome to inspect it again." His suppressed grin seems mocking, but I choose to ignore it.
"I'm sure it's fine," I mutter, finally dropping the invoice and giving up. I shouldn't be this distracted for any reason.
"We've got some larger orders coming in next week. They came out, tasted the wine, and now they're desperate to have us. Not to mention, there's also the huge account you landed for the millionaire wedding. Never had a wedding out here," he says, not seeming thrilled about the fact I scheduled the Marlone family to hold their epic wedding here.
The press they'll receive will bring us even more business, so I couldn't pass it up.
While walking with him, I try to pay attention as he runs through next week's schedule, but there's only one thing on my mind, and I need to talk to her. We have to slow this thing down between us. I think. Fuck, I don't know.
Leonard rattles on just as we round the corner, and Raya comes into view, standing comfortably next to my grandfather as she cradles a bottle of wine. Figures he'd give her a bottle. I was going to do that, but he likes stealing my thunder.
Putting the confusing mess of unaddressed emotions to the side, I make my way toward them.
"And that's Leonard Mars, my lawyer who keeps all the licenses, contracts, and legal things running just as smoothly as Harry keeps the farm," Granddad says, seeming entirely too chipper.
Raya already has him wrapped around her finger, it seems. In fact, I think my entire family and extended family love her. Love—damn that word.
"Vineyard," I say to irritate my grandfather, forcing a smile.
"It's a farm with a vineyard on it," he retorts, swatting at me.
I walk over to give Raya a small kiss, not wanting to let her know about my inner war. The last thing I want is for her to pull away from me,
so I need to sort my shit out without worrying her.
"I gave the girl a gift. I told her I might not ever get this chance again," Granddad says, piquing my curiosity.
My stomach clenches when I see what she's holding, and I fight back the first wave of nausea. Raya's smile falters when she gauges my reaction, but I can't help it. This is messed up. What the hell did she say to him to make him give her the merlot? Surely she didn't tell him that she loves me. That's not like her.
"The '93 Merlot? Have you lost your mind?" I ask Granddad, turning around to glare at him, but he's smiling as though this is just an ordinary, meaningless bottle of wine.
"My mind is one of the few things I haven't lost yet," he says playfully, but the warning is there.
I know better than anyone that there's no sense in arguing with him. But why is he doing this?
It's then I see the tremble in his hands, and the soft words I overlooked come back and resonate. I might not ever get this chance again. The chemo is apparently not working as well as I thought, and he sure as hell won't tell me anything about it. This is too much to deal with right now. Especially in front of Raya.
Swallowing hard, I wrap an arm around Raya's shoulder, ready to leave so I can get home and call Dad. He'll find out how bad it is.
"We're about to head out. We've got class tomorrow, but call me if you need anything," I murmur through strain, ignoring the way Raya tenses against me.
"Just worry about getting good grades and taking her out on special dates. There aren't too many like her. I can already tell," he says, hiding the pain that is probably gnawing at him.
Then he winks at Raya, making me look down at her, confused as to how the hell she wowed him so much in such a short span of time. I'm forced to drop my arm off her when Granddad hugs her, shocking me. He's about as uncomfortable with touching as I am—usually I'm his only exception.
I see him say something to her, but I don't know what. Raya walks on out as I take my turn to hug him.
"I think you should have given her a less valuable wine," I murmur when Raya is out of earshot.
I grab a crate and some packaging materials as Granddad snorts in objection.