by Theresa Weir
Closing his eyes, he relaxed, feeling the fog of sleep ready to take him away. But something was different about the fog tonight. It was…a happy fog.
A pounce onto his pillow stopped his thoughts, then a warm weight pressed against the top of his head.
The cat. Logan breathed evenly, too relaxed to move as sluggishness dragged at the dark corners in his darker mind and, in the deepening half sleep, he inched closer, pressing himself against her side.
* * *
Something was pressing against Maddie’s hip. A hose? In a fog of sleep, Maddie shifted, but the hose followed her, and it was too much trouble to get away from it. But the pressure was tugging her from her dream where she’d just fired everyone on the board. Maybe waking was good, because she was feeling sorry for the board members.
Sorry? Really? After what they’d done to her?
Her half-dream, half-awake emotions flared in conflict. They should pay. They should suffer. They deserved it.
But she didn’t want to watch or listen to their petty arguments. She didn’t even want to think about it. She just wanted them to play nice with her.
She shifted again, and the hose pressed harder. A sound accompanied it, a moan. A masculine moan.
Her eyelids snapped open. Memory snapped back.
Logan. She felt the heat coming off him, that side warmer than her other side.
But nowhere as warm as her insides.
He’d been there for her last night. This man she’d only known a couple of weeks. This man who was in love with another woman.
She jerked away from him. The clock at the bedside told her she’d slept for almost an hour. Napping during the day was normally a luxury for her. She rolled to her side, facing Logan. His eyes opened, and they looked different, a darker blue. A frown formed between his eyes, and he looked young, though he was older than her by a half dozen years. But even more upsetting, this man who was always so confident looked…bewildered.
With a sigh, she reached up and rested her hand on his shoulder. His skin felt as warm as if he’d been sunbathing on a beach in Spain for an hour. No wonder she’d felt his heat.
“Hey,” she said. “Were you awake all that time?”
“I just woke up.” His voice reverberated outside her and inside her. His voice alone made her want to melt against him like butter on warm toast.
And then there was the rest of him….
Most of all, there was his kindness.
Of everything that attracted her to him, everything that made her soft, that made her want to lean in and kiss him, his kindness was the biggest.
“A part of you was already awake,” she said. “I felt it against my hip.”
His lips quirked. “That part is always at least half awake.”
“Really? I thought penises were a lot like snakes, and even snakes sleep.”
“Snakes?” The corners of his lips curled higher. “You haven’t had sex in a long time, have you?”
“Since I left Chicago.”
“Five years?”
She nodded.
“He must’ve been a lousy lover for you to stop doing something that feels so wonderful.”
An ache grew in her. She’d had three lovers in her life. Sex had been…okay.
She wanted more. She wanted amazing.
“Show me,” she murmured, her voice shaking only a little.
“Show you what?”
She slid her hand around his shoulder. “How wonderful it can be.”
He stilled, his eyes sharpened, watching her the way he’d watch an injured bird that any second might flap its wings and fly away. “You’re sure?”
“Are you going to try to talk me out of it?”
“What do you think?” He shifted closer to her, his arm curving around her back. The cotton of his T-shirt came into contact with her bare breasts, and she realized the towel must have slid off of her while she slept. Yet he hadn’t leered. Hadn’t even glanced down.
Why should he? They were just breasts, and he’d probably seen his share. More than his share.
He stopped a breath away from her lips. “You’re thinking too much. I can see it in your eyes.”
“I’m not thinking about you.”
Smile lines rayed out from the corners of his eyes. “If you think that’s flattering, you’re wrong.”
“I was thinking of all the women in Europe who sunbathe topless.”
“None more beautiful than you.”
She raised her eyebrows. What about your dark queen? she thought, but didn’t ask. She didn’t want to bring the other woman into bed with them. “It doesn’t matter who’s more beautiful or not. I’m in bed with you right now. Just this one time, I want to…”
“Be wild?”
She shook her head. “To know what it’s like to be well loved.”
He brushed a finger down the side of her face, tracing her cheekbone. “I should try to talk you out of it.”
“Why?”
“If this were a movie, that’s what the hero would do.”
“I don’t want a hero, I want a lover.”
“In that case, we need to stop talking and start kissing.” Then his lips were on hers, and she kept her eyes open for a second, but his were closed and his lips open, while hers were the opposite.
Maybe her mind had forgotten how to do this, but her body’s memory kicked in, and her eyelids lowered, a sigh shivered through her body, her lips parted, and she melted against him. He still wore his T-shirt, and the cotton was soft against her skin and her nipples. Eyes still closed, she ran her hands down his sides, feeling his ribs beneath, and the lean muscles.
A moan came out of her. He’d removed his lips from hers to drop small kisses on her jaw, but now he moved back up to her lips, swallowing her next moan.
Her body heated and melted, and between her legs, she throbbed, and she wanted this, and she wanted some more. A whole lot more.
“I’m taking advantage of you.” He pushed up from her. “This is an emotional time for you. You’re needier than ever.”
She shook her head. He didn’t know, because she hid it too well, but she’d always been needy. She’d always craved love and approval. She’d thought maybe most people did. But this… What she was doing now…
“If that were true, I’d be doing this with any man.”
“Any man who happens to be sleeping in your bed.”
She lifted her hand, and it felt heavy, weighted with passion. “I wouldn’t allow any other man this close to me. Stop trying to make me change my mind.” She frowned and pulled back. “Unless you’re having second thoughts.”
He pressed against her, his erection unmistakable. “Right now, I can barely think at all. I’m just feeling.”
“Then shut up and make love to me.”
His chuckle rumbled out. She closed her eyes because looking at him was dazzling her senses, and she just wanted to feel. Feel his hands on her, feel his kisses and then his nibbles. Just like he was doing now. Wonderful touches, kisses, and nibbles.
And she touched, kissed, and nibbled back.
Their breaths turned harsh, and her body heated. She threw off the heavy quilt.
“I’m going to make a meal out of you,” he murmured, moving lower. And then he found a spot to nibble on that made her cry out and clutch his shoulders.
“A fast meal,” she said, her voice strained because this was so wonderful.
But he didn’t listen to her. Not going fast but slow. All she wanted to do was cry out and cry out and cry out. Over and over and over. And more and more and more. Until finally, she slumped back as tremors shuddered through her body. Each one a tiny bit less, until finally she was done.
And then he moved between her legs, his erection nudging against her. He slid inside her slowly, and as if that turned on a switch, tremors shuddered through her again. Delicious tremors. She held on tight and cried out, again and again and again. As if her body were making up for five years of abstinence. Her l
egs folded around his thighs, her arms curved around his back. As he made love to her, he kissed her deeply. Then he raised his head, cords standing out in his neck, his face looking tortured as he shouted out wordlessly.
It seemed to go on forever before he collapsed on top of her, both of them warm and sweaty. They stayed like that for moments, the shudders in their bodies easing, their breaths slowing, their pounding hearts quieting.
He lifted his head, and she smiled at him.
“I made you smile.” His voice was hoarse, his eyes gleaming. “I guess I’ve done my job well.”
“I was just thinking that it would be easy to kill a man at a time like this, when he’s so vulnerable.”
Laughter lit up his eyes and his face, and she felt a different kind of warmth than a second ago. That warmth had started in her sex. This was in her chest. In her heart.
Way more dangerous.
That’s when she realized he might hurt her in a different way than Zach’s father had hurt her. She’d only known Logan for two weeks, but when they parted—because they would sometime—her life would be duller, flatter, darker.
She shivered and suddenly felt cold.
He slid out of her, and she felt the warm liquid in her. She stared into his eyes, horror whipping through her.
His lip curved down on side. “Looks like I forgot something.”
“I didn’t think of it.”
“First time it happened to me.”
“With…” She had to think of his name. “Todd, Zach’s father, his condom broke. It wasn’t anything I planned then or now.”
He put his hand over her hair and brushed it back. “I know you wouldn’t do that. It was my fault. And if you are pregnant, I’ll love our baby.”
She turned her head away from his hand on her hair. “I need to use the bathroom.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment then pushed away from her, rolling onto the side of the bed.
She scrambled off the other side. The towel was at the edge, and she grabbed it.
As she hurried away, thoughts jumbled inside her mind, good and bad and horrible and ecstatic. An overload of emotions, just because he’d said he’d love their baby. If he’d been angry or anxious, she would have shut off her emotions. But this…it squeezed her heart and sent tears welling up in her eyes.
In the bathroom, she turned on the shower, and though she’d taken a bath already, she stepped inside it and let the warm water pummel her as her warm tears trickled down her face. Finally the tears stopped, and she grabbed the towel off the towel rack and wrapped it around her.
When she stepped out, he was standing there, his clothes on.
“It’s like déjà vu,” she said. “You in the bathroom with me.”
“I could get addicted to this easily.”
“So could I.” She gazed up into his blue eyes, as beautiful as everything else about him. “That’s why we need to stop it now.”
“I wanted you to know I meant what I said. Whatever happens, I won’t be sorry. I would love our child.”
The words “love” and “our child” shimmered through her, and she wrapped the towel tighter around her. “I know you would.” She looked down finally, her eyes heating with tears again. She would not cry, she told herself. She would not.
Instead of leaving, he moved closer, his hands cupping her upper arms. “I won’t leave you.”
She raised her chin, fierceness pouring through her. She would not be an object of pity. “You’re in love with another woman. I wouldn’t want you around.”
His head snapped up. He let go of her arms and stepped back.
“I don’t need a man,” she said. Not if she and her baby were just a responsibility.
She wanted more than that.
“Just my money.” Gruffness edged his voice.
“I don’t even need that. Not if I can make my own.” She put a hand to her forehead, still holding the towel up with her other hand. “If I’m pregnant—and that’s a big if—of course I’ll want you to be a part of his or her life.” Her voice thickened, and tears moistened her eyes. She blinked and kept on going. “And Zach’s life, too, because I can see how attached to you he is already. But you should know that I don’t expect anything more. Or even want it. Unless two people love each other, they shouldn’t be a family. Being married is a hard thing. And in our case, it would be an impossible thing.”
He didn’t reply immediately. The warm air from the shower was cooling, and her shoulders and arms were chilled. She told herself if he didn’t leave in another moment, she would—
“I didn’t want what happened to end like that,” he said, his voice low.
“I was there, too.”
“I’ve wanted you from the first morning I walked into the house.”
She stood still, her heart thundering in her head. “Lust at first sight?”
“Lust at first conversation.” The corners of his lips kicked up. “I got a kick out of the way you stood up to me. You made me laugh. That’s a turn-on.”
The thunder subdued. Or course it wasn’t love at first sight. Not for either of them. She hadn’t really expected him to say it. “I’ll search the Internet and make a list of jokes.”
“There you are again. No one talks to me like you do. You are the most down-to-earth person I know. And you’re a great mom.” He stopped. “But you wanted me to leave.”
“Not yet. Go on.” She was softening, but sometimes soft was good. This would be something for her to remember long after she was gone. “Tell me more wonderful things about me.”
His eyes lit. “You’re amazing in bed.”
“To be honest, you were amazing in bed.”
“It’s true. I am.”
She laughed and held the towel tighter. “I could be, too. I just need more practice.”
“Um—”
“Not with you, of course.” She spoke quickly, not wanting him to think she expected him to stick around. “Because we shouldn’t do this again. But next time I have sex with a man, I think I’ll need to be more active.” She smiled at him, as if she didn’t ache inside.
It was okay. This ache wouldn’t last. He was just a man who’d dropped into her life a short time ago. An amazing man, but he would soon walk out again. And she would soon be out of this house, too. Probably out of the town. The odds were against her being pregnant. Odds favored her never seeing him again.
So she looked into his eyes and didn’t let any of her thoughts of emotions show on her face, just the smile and the mischief. And he smiled back, shaking his head and looking at her with affection and admiration—and why shouldn’t he? She was giving him an easy out.
And he was taking it, backing up a step.
“You’re making it hard, talking about honing your skills with another man,” he said, taking another step back.
She couldn’t think of anything snappy to say, so she just kept her smile on and her eyebrows raised, as if she were waiting for him to leave and was too sophisticated to say anything.
Time stretched as he nodded and finally left. As soon as the door closed behind him, she allowed her body to sag and tears to prickle her eyes.
Damn it, she wasn’t going to cry over him.
She didn’t love him. She couldn’t love him. She’d known him for too short of a time, he wasn’t even her type, and he was in love with another woman.
But the tears came anyway, and so did the truth that she couldn’t deny. For whatever reason, the wrong man for her seemed to be the one she wanted.
This was awful, and she could never let him know.
Chapter 16
A small, short-haired dog yapped as Logan followed Maddie into the one-story house that looked like it was three decades old. The TV was on, and the house smelled of baked turkey. A lanky man wearing a Green Bay Packers sweatshirt greeted Maddie and Zach. He set Maddie’s apple pie on a side table in the living room then took jackets and scarves, talking over the dog barks. Zach unencumbered himself fir
st and dashed off to play with a taller girl and a boy who looked about the same age as him, the dog chasing after him. All three of the kids seemed to be talking at once, and now that the dog was silent, Maddie introduced him to her brother-in-law, Cody, who told him that his job today was to keep the kids out of the kitchen until dinner was ready, and did he want anything to drink?
Before Logan could reply, an attractive, plumpish woman who bore a resemblance to Maddie barreled into the room. “I thought I heard you.” She stopped and looked him up then down. “Wow, you’re even prettier in person than on Google.”
“Mom!” the girl said.
The boy slapped his hands over his mouth to hold back giggles. Zach frowned at Logan, apparently not liking the idea that his aunt found him good-looking.
Neither Maddie nor Cody blinked. “I told you he wasn’t bad-looking,” Maddie said, deadpan.
“She said a lot more than that.” Kris winked at him.
“Oh?” He looked at Maddie, who smiled coolly at him.
He felt the chill. Yesterday had changed everything.
He wasn’t sorry for what had happened, but he was sorry for the way she was wary of him now.
Hell, if their positions were changed—if he were a woman who’d had unprotected sex with a man—he’d be wary, too.
But she’d been right to call him a horn dog. If the chance came to make love to her again, he’d be humping her in a second.
He’d been around the rich, famous, and sometimes depraved for a good ten years. He thought of himself as sophisticated, but when it came to sex, he rutted like any other man.
“Hey, woman,” Cody called, “why aren’t you in the kitchen doing a woman’s job? Bring us a beer while you’re at it.”
“Of course, darling.” Kris fluttered her eyelashes at him. “Where do you want me to give it to you? Over your head or inside your pants?”
Zach and the other boy laughed, rolling on the carpet. The girl rolled her eyes but giggled.
Logan grinned. “So far, this is the best dinner party I’ve been to in years.”
* * *
“I like him,” Kris said. She and Maddie sat at the kitchen table, with the extra leaf put away now, and the kitchen cleaned up. The dishwasher was humming, and Maddie was succumbing to a turkey and pie coma. At least she’d been smart enough this morning to wear stretch jeans. She needed that extra give.