Dream Lover

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by Cassie Walder

He turned his head and kissed her palm. “I will always love and cherish you, Edwina.”

  “Like you loved and cherished all those who came before me?”

  “No. There was only the one who I longed for as a life partner before you. I made the mistake of transitioning her—converting her, if you will be more comfortable with that term—without giving her a choice into my state of life because I wanted her with me so desperately.”

  “What happened to her?”

  “She killed herself. I don’t think I will ever forgive myself for my role in her unhappiness,” Klaus said quietly, painfully as he looked beyond her. “She was never able to settle into her new state. She—like you—was a morning person, and the deprivation of the ability to be in the sun saddened her beyond words. The woman I loved hated me in the end, and died with curses for me upon her lips.”

  Then he looked at her, making eye contact. Her heart melted at the pain she saw in his eyes.

  “Oh, Klaus,” she said quietly, sympathetically, as she took him in her arms and held him. “I wish I could stay here now. I need to go by my uncle’s office and swear out that complaint against Jim. Only then can Uncle get the process begun. And I’ve got a shop to open.”

  Klaus stepped back from her. “Hans will drive you. But first would you like to see the rest of my house?”

  “I’ve seen most of the house in my dreams over the years. I’d like to spend more time with you. But, you’ve got a teleconference and I’ve got to return to town.”

  “Come on, at least meet my chaplain. You’ll like Father Sabastien.”

  Klaus wasn’t wrong. Edwina immediately found herself liking the white haired gentleman who was Klaus’ chaplain.

  Chapter Ten

  The Monday night birthday party for her grandmother was well underway at the country club where her grandmother had been an active member for sixty-five years. It wasn’t every day that the family matriarch turned ninety. The guest list for cocktails numbered over five hundred people—family, extended family, friends, and important business clients of the family. Aunt Roberta had outdone herself in organizing the evening. In another hour and a half, there would be a somewhat more intimate dinner, with only about two hundred guests, most of whom were family. Her grandmother was certainly in her element, Edwina thought. But if she had the choice, Edwina would have been anywhere else besides this event. Crowds like this were definitely not her preferred place to be. She needed to get out of this room.

  Klaus had given her so much to think about earlier in the day. She hadn’t been able to shake the thoughts from her mind. Klaus was a vampire. Father Sabastien was a vampire. Dr. Roddenberg was a vampire. She wondered how many other people she had known over the years were afflicted with this set of acquired abnormalities or something similar.

  She stood at the verandah railing for a long time, looking at the lights reflect off the lake near the clubhouse. Grandmother hadn’t been pleased to see Edwina alone tonight.

  She had to face the fact that she had fallen irrevocably in love with Klaus. The dreams just reinforced that need that she felt for him. She sighed. What she didn’t know was what she was going to do about it. Could she live her life in his state of life? If she didn’t transition, could she live out her life knowing that she was only an episode in his life when he was everything to her? Could their love survive a hundred years, or more? Loving him for all eternity? Was it possible? People didn’t seem to be able to stay together even ten years anymore, let alone the length of time that she would be married to Klaus if she transitioned. And if she didn’t stay married to him, could she remain celibately faithful to her marriage vows? It seemed to her that it was difficult enough to live a Christian life when one had only eighty or so years. She couldn’t imagine how difficult it would be to live as a practicing Catholic with a virtual eternity of mortal existence stretching before her.

  A male hand lightly came to rest on her shoulder. “Edwina?” an all too familiar voice asked.

  “Speak of the Devil. Good evening,” Edwina replied without turning to look at him.

  “The Devil? Is that how you think of me, now, Edwina?” he asked carefully.

  “It’s an expression, Klaus. ‘Speak of the Devil and he’s sure to appear.’ It means that if you go looking for trouble, you will find it.”

  “So now I’m trouble. I do not like this, Edwina,” he said teasingly. “It grows worse for me by the moment.”

  She shook her head negatively. “I seem to be wrong all the way around tonight. Maybe I had just better keep quiet.”

  “You’ve been out here for a long time,” he said. “Are you cold?”

  “No. To tell you the truth, the cold seldom bothers me.”

  “Do you want to be alone?” he asked.

  “I’ve been alone all my life Klaus,” she warned softly. “I don’t know how to be anything else. There are times that I wish that I did. I really wish that I did. But I don’t. I simply don’t know how to be what you need me to be Klaus. And that scares me because I really want to be the kind of wife you need me to be. I just don’t know that I can do it.”

  His hand fell from her shoulder. He came to stand beside her. “All I need you to be is yourself. You know quite well how to do that. Now, come along. You’re missing your grandmother’s party.”

  “I’m not needed or even missed in there,” she dismissed, still looking at the lake.

  “I missed you.”

  “I didn’t even see you in there.”

  “Probably because I saw you walk out as I walked in,” he allowed. “A man could have thought you were avoiding him.”

  She shrugged. “I just don’t like large crowds very much. I didn’t know you were on the guest list.”

  He was silent for a long moment. “Do you think I would crash a party?”

  “I think that you would do anything you believed necessary in order to get what you want,” she said thoughtfully, still not looking at him. “And you’ve decided that you want me.”

  He laughed in genuine amusement.

  Oh, how she loved hearing that sound. It frightened her how much she loved hearing him laugh.

  “Oh, Edwina, you know me too well. I will indeed do anything I have to do to get what I want. And I do want you, far more than I have ever wanted anyone in my entire life,” he agreed. “But if it sets your mind at ease I was invited to this gathering. Richard invited me yesterday. If it sets your mind at ease, I do know your uncle through the local Medical Association. We have met several times over the years. In fact, there are a number of people inside who can vouch for me. Shall I parade them past you? Perhaps twenty or thirty character references will let you feel safe.”

  “I don’t believe that anything would make me feel safe today. I’m trying to work this out in my mind, Klaus. I really am.”

  “Edwina,” he asked in concern. “What specifically troubles you?”

  Edwina sighed heavily. “You have given me much to think about Klaus.”

  “Do you believe that I would ever allow harm to come to you, by my hand or by any other?”

  “No.”

  “You haven’t even looked at me tonight Edwina,” he said quietly.

  “I’m too fragile, too vulnerable, at the moment, Klaus. And it would be too tempting to rely on your invulnerable strength right now.”

  He put his arm around her shoulder. “‘Fragile’ is one attribution I would never make about you.”

  “But then you don’t know me that well do you?” she asked in a tight voice.

  “Do you think that I would ever harm you?” Klaus asked quietly.

  “I don’t want to think that, Klaus. I don’t really know you. Marriage involves total trust, Klaus. And I’m not sure that I can trust you that much.”

  “You know me better than most people do.”

  “That’s not saying much Klaus. I don’t think you let too many people get close to you.”

  “I have family and a circle of close friends Edwina.” />
  “Karen’s a nice young woman.”

  “When she’s not being a total brat, yes,” Klaus agreed.

  “She works for you?”

  “She works for the corporation.”

  “She said that she’s read my work.”

  “That’s her job—to keep up on new developments. If there is a development on the cutting edge, it’s her job to know about it and brief the rest of us as to the work being done and what the ramifications of that work is.”

  “What kind of ramifications?”

  “Primarily ethical. Her master’s degree is in biology. Her doctorate is in biomedical ethics.”

  “What do your other sisters do?”

  “Marta is at home with her six children and writes fiction that she has yet to find a market for. Her college degrees are in French Literature. Her husband is a trauma surgeon. They live in the south of France. Sieglinde teaches History at the University of Bonn. Her husband teaches Chemistry there.”

  “Speaking of family and close friends,” Edwina said on a sigh as she removed her dream journal from her purse. “Do you know any of these faces?” she said as she opened the book to the pages in which she had drawn the party from her dream.

  Klaus took the book from her fingers. He looked at it. “Where did you get this?”

  “Drew it from the dream I had last night. I recognize only Karen and you. Do you know any of other these people?”

  “They’re my sisters and their husbands. But I don’t know this last man here.”

  “Neither do I,” Edwina said. “But he’s the one Karen will marry. They seemed awfully familiar with one another in the dream.”

  “Why did you have this on you if you weren’t expecting me?”

  “The faces were bothering me. I couldn’t get them out of my head. So I put them down on paper. I’d documented most of the dream in my journal early this morning while you were dressing but the faces were still bothering me. Dreams don’t give me peace until I fully document them. I hadn’t had time today. Earlier this morning, the faces were eluding me. They came to me gradually during the day. So I brought the book and hid out in the ladies room drawing them.”

  “What kind of dream was it?”

  “It was a Christmas party at your house.”

  Klaus was silent for a long moment. “Any idea of when this dream was set?”

  It was Edwina’s turn to be silent.

  “Edwina?”

  She sighed. “Someone, this man,” Edwina said pointing at a face, “Said something about your still being able to make me blush after over two years of marriage and a baby.”

  “How much more confirmation do you need about how right we are together?” Klaus demanded softly.

  “I don’t know, Klaus. I’m frightened.”

  “I understand how you would be frightened.”

  She sighed.

  “Marry me, Edwina.”

  “That would make my grandmother happy.”

  “Why did you say that?”

  “After years and years of chasing away unsuitable potential mates from her grandchildren, Grandmother has finally decided that we’re all getting rather long in the tooth and that it’s imperative that all of her grandchildren wed soon. So she’s put a bounty on the first legitimate great grandchild in order to encourage us to produce that next generation.”

  “A bounty?”

  “Five million dollars will be set up in trust for the first legitimate great grandchild who is baptized into the Catholic faith. The money will be placed into the account on the day of the christening.”

  “That’s a large sum of money.”

  “It’s bribery. None of us will have anything to do with it.”

  Klaus touched her face lightly. “So, I’m caught here with my suit. You won’t say ‘yes’ because you don’t want to give into pressure from your family to wed. Even though you aren’t giving into their pressure you don’t want it to appear that way.”

  Edwina sighed. “You make it sound ridiculous.”

  “Isn’t it? What does the money matter if you are following your heart?”

  “I’ve been called ‘heartless’,” Edwina warned.

  “You could never be cruel.”

  “You sound very sure of that.”

  “I am.”

  Edwina sighed again.

  “As for the money, it doesn’t matter to me at all. Our children will be well provided for whether that sum of money is there or not,” Klaus dismissed.

  “Assuming there are children.”

  “If there aren’t children, I am certain it won’t be for any lack of trying,” he said quietly. “I can think of little I would like more than to see you carrying our child.”

  Edwina felt her face grow warm as she remembered how he had loved her less than twelve hours ago. Had it been only that short of a time ago? It seemed an eternity since they had lain together. “No. I doubt that lack of opportunity would be a problem,” she said dryly. “We’re going to be amazingly fertile together, you and I.”

  “You sound sure of that. Another dream?”

  “It wasn’t one dream. It was a collection of them filling my sleeping hours over several years.”

  “Liebling,” he said gently urging her into his arms. “If you don’t want to go back into the party then come with me. Spend some time with me tonight.”

  “I can’t Klaus. I have an obligation to my grandmother. I can’t just cut out of her birthday party.”

  “Is that the only reason you won’t come away from here with me?”

  She sighed. “Kiss me?”

  He didn’t have to be asked twice. The caress started light. But like the kisses that had come before, it didn’t stay sweet for long.

  Fire. That was the only word for him, she thought. He was fire and she was very dry kindling.

  Klaus broke the caress and drew her more tightly into his arms. “Neither of us are children, Edwina,” he said in German.

  “Why do you want to marry me?”

  “That, my pet,” he said in rapid German, “Should be obvious.”

  “Sex?”

  “That’s part of it, but only part. I find that I need you, Edwina, as I’ve never needed anyone else. You are as essential to me as breathing. I know that you don’t feel the same way.”

  “What makes you think I don’t?”

  Klaus loosened his embrace on her and stepped back. “Have I become essential to you?”

  “I believe you may have become as essential to me as the air I breathe. And that frightens me tremendously.”

  “I am not a patient man,” he told her. “But I’ve told you that before.”

  “Klaus, I just haven’t yet figured out what you want from me. And to what lengths you are willing to go to get it.”

  “Haven’t you? I thought I was clear on that. I want you. And I will go to any lengths I have to go in order to get you.”

  She sighed. “I’ve been warned about you.”

  “Warned?” he asked carefully. “By whom?”

  She shook her head from side to side. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

  “Try me anyway.”

  “Catherine.”

  “Your resident ghost. Now why doesn’t that surprise me?” Klaus answered dryly.

  “She told me from the first that you were not the man for me, that you were dangerous.”

  “And you believe her?”

  “No. I prefer to make my own decisions.”

  “And have you made a decision?”

  “I need to think this out more.”

  The sounds of the party invaded the verandah. Edwina knew that someone had opened a door.

  “Hey, Winnie, what’s up? Granmere is looking for you,” Marie said in concern.

  Edwina sighed. “I’ll be right there, Marie.”

  Marie laughed and threw back her head. “I can see Winnie that you will have the money,” she said in French.

  “If you want it then go for it Mar
ie,” Edwina encouraged her cousin. “I’m not interested.”

  “No. Not me. I’m not going to get married and have a baby just so that I could get five million dollars from Granmere, especially as it will be in trust for the child.”

  “What makes you think I would?” Edwina asked coldly.

  Marie shook her head. “It’s different with you, Winnie. You’re not doing it for the money. A blind man could see the attraction between the two of you. You’re out here together in this weather instead of being warm inside. That has to mean something.”

  “I think it means that I’m growing cold. Excuse me,” Edwina said quietly.

  Klaus followed her inside. The band was playing dance music from the 1940s. It was upbeat and called out to be danced to. He took her by the hand and led her out onto the dance floor.

  “Just what do you think you’re doing?” Edwina demanded of Klaus.

  “Dancing with you,” he said. “If you do not wish to dance then walk away from me.”

  Edwina smiled. “You know that I can’t do that. There are too many people watching us. I wouldn’t cause that kind of embarrassment to my worst enemy.”

  Klaus smiled as he pulled her closer to him. “And I am not your worst enemy.”

  “Pull another stunt like this and I may move you way up on my list,” Edwina warned. “I don’t dance well and everyone is looking at us.”

  He laughed softly. “I’m trembling with fear.”

  “It amazes me sometimes that you and your ego can both fit in one suit of clothes,” she said dryly.

  He chuckled again. Then he lightly kissed her forehead. The song died off.

  “I need something to drink. Excuse me.”

  “I will join you.”

  Edwina walked over to the bar. “Club soda and lime,” she ordered.

  Klaus asked for a vodka gimlet.

  No sooner had they turned around than her Uncle John was right there. “Edwina, your grandmother wishes for you and your gentleman friend to join her at her table for dinner.”

  Refusing a summons from Grandmother would be unthinkable if one wished to live in peace with her family. Edwina knew this. Grandmother ruled the family with an iron fist inside a velvet glove.

  “Of course, Uncle,” Edwina replied quietly. “I trust that Aunt Roberta is busily rearranging the seating arrangements as we speak?”

 

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