"I think—" she began.
Fear sliced through Felix.
"I think," she said again, "that you're right." She gave a brisk nod. "I doubt you do know much about love."
Felix's brows drew down. He could swear she'd been about to say something different, and her slight smile confused him even more. "So," he asked, still frowning. "What are you going to do?"
"I can't—" Her steady gaze averted. "Shoot, I don't know how to say this."
His heart plummeted. "Do you want me to find you a hotel room?"
Her face swung toward him again. "No!"
"But—"
"Felix." She put her hands on his forearms. Her smile turned shy, if not embarrassed. "This thing about you not being able to love, well..." A dozen emotions flitted across her face, which finally settled back into the shy, embarrassed smile. "It's okay with me. Not a problem."
He stared at her, then felt his eyes narrow.
"Let me try to explain." She lifted one hand to pat his chest. "Oh, boy. Last night. Well, I haven't had a sexual experience like that—ever." An odd amusement sparkled in her eyes. "Really great sex. And, uh, that's enough for me. At least for now."
Felix continued to stare at her, wondering if she thought he was going to buy this hooey. All she needed was really great sex? Total bull! What Aletheia needed was a true life partner, someone who could give back the kind of generosity and warmth she handed out herself with no effort whatsoever.
Sex, even 'really great sex,' didn't go very far. Sex hadn't been enough to induce a shallow woman like Elsa to stick around. It certainly wouldn't do the trick for Aletheia.
She wanted more. She expected more. Worse yet, he could feel a tiny, greedy creature emerging inside him, trying to persuade him maybe he could give her more.
Oh yeah, something direct from the dark side. Proof, in fact, of everything he'd been trying to tell her.
Unaware of any danger, Aletheia smiled and curled against him. He could smell the faint scent of his sheets in her hair. This small mark of his possession stirred his desire even as he wondered about the tack she was taking. Was she trying to deceive him—or herself?
Her gaze turned coaxing. "Now, were you going to make me breakfast or something?" She put an emphasis on the last two words, a teasing emphasis.
Felix looked down at her. This was not going to work. Not even for a little while. But she was standing so close now he could feel the silk of the pajamas she wore slide against her naked skin. The shine in her eyes combined with the scent in her hair and he was lost. Self-control? Had he promised her that?
Then he was a liar on top of everything else.
"Or something," Felix replied. He put his arms around her and pulled her even closer, then lowered his head to hers.
She'd find out. Sooner or later, she'd find out. Until then, he'd take what he could get.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
"Sorry. Haven't received a single call from a potential buyer." Brad's voice was apologetic, but with a tinge of relief, Aletheia thought, listening to her assistant over the land line in Felix's downtown San Francisco office on Saturday. Her assistant manager at Aletheia's Asylum didn't want the café sold to an owner who, unlike Aletheia, might not fully appreciate his acumen or accept his indulgence in recreational herbs.
"I didn't seriously imagine you would," Aletheia told Brad. She leaned her elbows on the desk in front of her, one of those clean-looking office desks with sharp, spare angles.
Felix had brought her here this afternoon so he could catch up on his work, and to offer her a chance to check in on her own obligations. But now, hearing Brad's news, Aletheia didn't feel as frantic or anxious as she probably should. No buyer for the café meant no money for the overdue mortgage payment on the house. Without the money, the foreclosure would proceed. At the very least, she should have been mildly concerned.
"Otherwise, business has been brisk," Brad went on. "You want me to order the Halloween decorations on Monday?"
"Sure, go ahead." Aletheia made plans as if she'd still be in Deer Creek in October.
She supposed she was loopy from the terrific sex she'd been engaging in over the past twenty-four hours. For some reason, all this sex made her feel confident Felix would solve the house problem.
This was, of course, delusional.
Felix hadn't said a word about saving the house. In fact, he hadn't uttered a single noise of commitment. Quite the opposite. He'd made a serious point of telling her he would never love her. The man had done the best job he could of warning her off any emotional entanglement.
"Gotta go," Brad told her. "College group from down the hill just came in."
Aletheia bid him goodbye and replaced the receiver in the high-tech holder belonging to one of Felix's weekday employees. Her gaze lifted to observe her recent lover as he worked on a computer across the room of cubicles. He was frowning slightly, his gaze focused on the screen, his fingers flying over the keyboard. Intelligence and competence were written in every line of his body.
A shimmer ran through her. He was solid, all right, definitely a man a person could lean on. She hadn't believed such a thing existed. And last night... Oh, last night had been magical. She'd felt totally connected to Felix, utterly alive. Important.
Maybe she'd even started to feel...
Suddenly, Felix stopped typing and looked up. Golden eyes turned toward her. "How are you doing over there?"
Aletheia smiled. "I'm fine."
Apparently unconvinced, Felix stood up. "Would you like some coffee? Iced tea?"
Aletheia wasn't the least bit thirsty, but a glance at Felix's face kept her from declining. He needed to give her something. "Uh, have any fruit juice?"
His eyes lit. "Orange or guava?"
"Orange." Aletheia was from Deer Creek, not San Francisco.
"Coming up." Felix hurried toward the lunch room.
Aletheia's gaze followed him to the door.
I can't love.
Every time Aletheia remembered Felix telling her this, she got a knot in her stomach. He seemed to believe his own logic, that he'd inherited this deficiency, along with his 'darkness' from a gangster father. Aletheia had serious doubts about the theory of his paternity, and definite problems with Felix's attitude toward what he termed dark. Fact was, the only times she felt Felix was emotionally open were when he was deep in one of his 'dark' phases.
A chorus of telephones jangled just as Felix reentered the room with a tall glass of orange juice. The sound made Aletheia blink. It was the first time the phones had rung.
"An office call on Saturday?" Felix frowned as he went to the nearest phone and picked it up. "Roman here." His frown deepened at whatever was said in reply. "Just a minute." With a punch, he put the call on hold and looked over at Aletheia. "This is interesting. Colonel Viceroy is on the line. You remember, he's the Army man who's buying the Cloak from my client."
Interesting? Aletheia felt a distinct chill. "Isn't he the guy who was going through Pi's house so we had to hide?"
"The same." Looking down at the phone, Felix appeared to consider the situation. "I want to videoconference with him." He paused. "It would be useful for you to be in on it."
"M-me?" Aletheia couldn't think how.
"I'd like to get your take on him."
"Well..." Aletheia cleared her throat and tried to sound brave. "Um, sure." She wondered if she'd be able to keep from her face the knowledge she'd already met the man, so to speak.
Felix motioned her over. "We can use this computer here." He lifted the phone receiver and sat down. "I'm going to call you on the computer, Colonel, make this a videoconference."
Feeling markedly unenthusiastic, Aletheia seated herself next to Felix in front of one of the computers. For a little while, she'd managed to put Benjamin and his problems on a back burner in her mind, but it was all back now—with a vengeance. At least Felix was beside her, solid and eminently capable. When he reached over to touch her hand, her confidence returned. If Felix was th
ere, she could handle a videoconference with the devil himself.
"Here he comes," Felix warned, right before pressing a button on the keyboard.
The screen filled with a video image of a middle-aged man with a hawk nose and gray-shot hair. He was dressed in an army officer's uniform. A big gold "US" adorned each side of his collar.
"Roman," the man said. Aletheia recognized the voice of authority she'd heard from the hidey-hole in Pi's bathroom. Today he sounded every bit as annoyed as he had then. He squinted, apparently catching sight of Aletheia sitting beside Felix. "Don't believe I've had the pleasure," he growled.
Not formally, Aletheia thought.
"Aletheia Cooper," Felix told him. "Dr. Cooper's sister. She's been assisting me."
Colonel Viceroy gave Aletheia a searching glance, then turned his attention back to Felix. "What I have to say isn't for—"
"She knows everything," Felix told the army officer. "Go ahead."
Looking distinctly displeased, Colonel Viceroy huffed, then said, "All right, fine. What I want to know from you is this: what the hell's going on with Goddard?"
Only because she was right next to him did Aletheia sense Felix's sudden tension. His voice remained calm, however.
"What do you mean?"
Viceroy put a forearm on the table in front of him and leaned toward the screen. "Truth is, I've never trusted the guy. Born in Morocco. That's Africa, not America. Not even Europe. And now he's telling me Benjamin is here, Benjamin is there—and Benjamin ain't in any of those places."
So Viceroy was still looking for Benjamin. And Goddard had given Viceroy bum leads just like he'd given Felix.
Viceroy leaned yet closer to the screen. "How about you?"
Felix paused. "We haven't found Benjamin, either."
Aletheia barely kept her eyebrows from lifting. Felix hadn't exactly answered the question.
Colonel Viceroy knew it too, and gave him a narrow look. "You know, boy, I think you're out of your league here. In fact, I think you'd better get out of the way. This is getting deep."
Felix appeared amused, rather than insulted. "You want me to stop looking for Benjamin?"
A tiny smile edged Viceroy's mouth. "Let's just say I'd rather find him before anybody else does."
Felix still looked amused. "So would Goddard, I guess."
Aletheia didn't know what either of them thought was humorous. "I would think," she chimed in dampeningly, "it's the police who get first dibs on Benjamin." She'd no desire to give Benjamin to the police, but she wanted to know why Viceroy wasn't considering the murder charge a priority.
Viceroy's tiny smile faded. "This is much bigger than the police."
"Oh?"
"Roman." Viceroy turned to Felix, as if Aletheia were nothing more than an annoying pest in the room. "The security of the country depends on finding Benjamin Cooper. Be warned. You stay out of my way, or you take the consequences."
Before Felix could reply, Viceroy pressed a button on his keyboard and his face disappeared from the computer screen. An image of floating leaves, the screensaver, moved serenely into place.
For a moment, Aletheia could only stare at the leaves. "He was wearing a uniform," she finally remarked, "on a Saturday?"
"Probably coming from a meeting." Felix smiled slightly. "A meeting where got reamed for not retrieving the Cloak yet."
Aletheia glanced at him. "He's just like Goddard, isn't he? He wants to get Benjamin before the police can, so he can get his precious Cloak."
"There doesn't seem to be grave concern about seeing justice served," Felix agreed dryly.
Aletheia hugged her elbows "I don't like this. I don't like it at all."
"I don't either." Felix put his hand on the back of her chair. "Do you want to go home?"
Aletheia bit her lower lip. "Unfortunately, I don't think home is any safer than being with you."
Something rippled behind Felix's eyes.
"That didn't come out right," Aletheia rushed to add. "I didn't mean—"
"It's all right." Felix touched her shoulder. "As it happens, I agree with you."
Aletheia sighed. "Besides, Felix, I feel like I have to find Benjamin now more than ever."
He moved his hand and leaned back. "Of course."
Aletheia frowned. That was strange. He'd just put distance between them. She wasn't sure how he'd done it, but she could feel it, like a wall.
Did he think they were still on opposite sides about her brother? Or was there something else, something he felt should lie between them. His darkness, perhaps? The idea he was some kind of monster?
Aletheia's stomach clenched. She still couldn't believe what Felix had told her this morning, that he considered himself evil. It was beyond outrageous. He was Mr. Integrity, Honor, and Righteousness. Was he blind to every major quality he owned?
She felt a powerful urge to teach him exactly what kind of man he truly was. So looking straight at him, she said, "All day I've been trying to think of where to look for Benjamin next."
"Ah." Felix paused a significant beat. "Did you come up with anything?"
His eyes looked cool and distant. He was drifting further away than ever. He thought she'd come up with an idea—but wasn't going to tell him.
Aletheia swallowed her frustration. Didn't he realize—? She'd gone to bed with him. She didn't do that with just anyone.
For heaven's sake, she was probably falling in love with him.
Hiccupping past the thought, Aletheia determined to convince Felix they were together now. A team.
She breathed in. "Boston." Meeting Felix's expressionless eyes, she willed him to understand what she was really saying. She trusted him. He was no monster. He wasn't dark inside. Wounded maybe, but not dark. "It's my best guess," she went on. "Benjamin went to school there, still has a lot of connections."
Felix stared at her. Beneath his mask, she sensed surprise.
"Boston," he said, still staring at her fixedly. One side of his mouth kicked up. "That's something of a hike from here."
"I can't think of any place more likely," Aletheia explained.
He regarded her for another long moment, still half-smiling. Aletheia could practically hear what he was thinking. Past his surprise now, he was working it out, fitting her words into his worldview. He didn't believe Aletheia was telling him the truth—not because he considered her a liar, but because he couldn't believe she would trust him.
He couldn't believe anybody would. Why should they?
He didn't trust himself.
"Okay," he finally said, in a humoring tone. "I'll see if I can arrange for us to leave tonight." He waited a moment, as if challenging her to retract her advice.
"The sooner the better," Aletheia agreed.
Pursing his lips slightly, he got up and walked to another station.
Watching him walk away, Aletheia felt a shimmer of apprehension. He was as stubborn as a rock. Could she ever make a dent there?
Frowning, Aletheia turned back to regard the floating leaves of the screen saver. She'd wanted an adventure. The tricky thing was, by their nature, adventures involved danger.
Reaching forward, Aletheia moved the mouse. The floating leaves scattered. Okay, Felix was a rock, but even a rock could be worn away by elements as insubstantial as wind and water, given persistence and time.
She just had to keep trying.
But it was hard to dismiss a hovering sensation of danger.
~~~
A breeze blew off the Charles River, bringing the scent of fish and boat diesel to Benjamin and Zara as they strolled along a walkway by the water. Across the river sat the distinguished old townhouses of Boston's Back Bay neighborhood.
Benjamin, freshly shaved, looked at his watch. "My friend, Lowenstein, told me to meet him at his office at two."
"That's an hour from now."
"I know." Benjamin looked up to scan the walkway ahead of them, then swept his gaze across the street toward the campus of MIT. The scene made hi
m frown, though he wasn't sure why. Meanwhile, he was intensely aware of Zara strolling beside him.
She looked really nice, Benjamin thought, the image of her fresh in his mind: sweet and feminine in a short, flowery dress and white sandals. No one would guess she'd had to primp in a Greyhound station restroom.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
She was correct. Something was wrong. Benjamin gazed over the river, then turned to look across the street again. "I don't know. After everything, I guess it seems too easy."
Zara's expression was sober. "If it feels wrong, then it probably is wrong."
Benjamin swung his wandering gaze toward her. He suddenly wondered if the opposite was true. If it felt right, was it right? Everything sure felt right with her. Ever since she'd decided to come on the bus with him in Oklahoma City, everything had felt not just right, but fantastic. A new confidence had seized him. He'd begun to wonder if she liked him as much as he liked her.
Because, oh, if that were the case, he could forget this awful shyness around her. He could touch her, kiss her, maybe do even more. If she liked him, really liked him, then he didn't have to feel embarrassed about being awkward when it came to sex. If she really liked him, she'd accept him the way he was.
"So what do you want to do?" Zara asked.
Benjamin blinked. She was talking about their meeting with Lowenstein. And she was right. He needed to rethink the idea. Hard. It wasn't only the Cloak and his own safety at stake now. Zara was involved. Benjamin felt a powerful need to keep her safe. Actually, it was both a need and a fear he might not be up to the task.
He sucked in his lips. "I think we ought to go see Lowenstein right now."
Zara's eyes lit. "Change things up? Be unpredictable? I like it."
Benjamin took her hand. "His office is up this street and to the left. I'm going to admit, it's technically part of the college campus." He glanced at her. "You going to be okay?"
Zara slid him a low-lash look. "I'll be fine." But as they walked closer to the campus and all the studious bodies, she gripped his hand a little harder.
Benjamin gripped back. God, he hoped that turning to Ed Lowenstein, his college friend, was the right decision. He didn't want anything bad to happen to Zara.
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