“Scars?”
I gently ran my fingertips across the countless slashes along the insides of his withered arm.
“How could they— D-did the dagger do this? Have the Witnesses who came before me marked you like this?”
“That is my purpose now.”
“Purpose?” Anger rose within me, raw anger. “I don’t give a rat’s— Ugh! If a tree’s purpose is to bring forth fruit, should we just cut it down to steal its bounty? If a cow’s purpose is to give us milk, should we slice open her udders to sate our thirst? No! This isn’t right. This isn’t your punishment.”
“Do not pity me. This is my punishment.”
“No. Your punishment was to be bound in the dark until judgement, not to be tortured and abused by men. Whatever your sin, that’s between you and God. He will see to your torture when the time is ripe. Man has no part or lot in that. And man dern sure has no right to haplessly defile one of heaven’s own Angels simply to suit their own whims.”
“Be calm, child. Nothing has been done to me to suit any mortal’s whims.”
“How can you say that? Look at your arm.”
“Those are not my only scars.”
At his admission, I looked then upon his withered body. Hardly an inch remained that had not been split with a blade.
It was too much, too overwhelming. Had he been dead, he would have been treated with more courtesy than this.
I didn’t even flinch when he reached up and silently wiped away my burning tears.
“I told you, did I not? Douse the flame.”
“Why? So I can’t see the harm I cause? So I can steal what I need? Run away in the dark and leave you lying here like this?”
“…Yes.”
“Azazel, do you honestly believe my guilt could be hidden by the darkness?”
“…No, Jem. Not for you… it could not.”
“That’s right. Now…” I jerked my backpack open. “…let’s see what I can do to help you.”
He lightly laid his frail hand atop my open bag. “No, little one. Do not try to help me. Worry not. There is nothing you can do. Now, take my blood and fill the key.”
I gently took hold of his wrist, removing his hand and carefully resting it atop his concave abdomen.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll get to it soon enough. Just hang on, Gramps.”
When he made a small blowing sound, I looked up. I’m not entirely certain, but I believe he smiled. His lips were so cracked it was hard to tell. I gazed upon him a moment longer—his withered nose, giant hollow eye sockets with tiny shriveled up eyes floating back down within the depths of them. If I were pressed for an accurate visual description of that poor creature lying there, I’d say he reminded me of the brittle, ancient mummies they show on the Discovery Channel.
Pfft… If mummies were able to talk, that’s exactly what he’d be.
I went back to rummaging through my bag.
“Hmm… I don’t really have anything for already healed scars. Hey, do you like vanilla?”
“Vanilla? I cannot say that I love or hate it. It is simply vanilla. Why do you ask?”
“Just curious.” I laid my brand new tube of hand cream out on the ground. “Here we go.” I pulled out a bottle of water. “Hang on. Let me put this lighter back…”
When I raised up on my knees to cram the lighter back down in my front pocket, I accidentally bumped my phone.
“What’s that?”
“What’s what?”
He pointed at my lower half. When I looked down, I saw the glow through my jeans.
“Oh, sorry.” I tried to cover it up. “It’s just my cellphone. Did it hurt your eyes?”
“No… What’s a cellphone?”
“Oh, it’s what we use to talk to each other. Although I’m pretty sure there’s no reception down here.” I pulled it out and looked at it. “Nope. No bars.”
I turned it towards him. I’m not sure why I did that. For proof, I guess. He squinted and held his hand up.
“Oh crap. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
I jammed it back down in my pocket.
“You certainly apologize a lot.”
“Do I? Sorry. I didn’t realize.”
“You just did it again. Tell me. Why do you feel compelled to do thus?”
“Do what?”
“Constantly apologize—claim guilt you do not own.”
“Well… I don’t know. I guess that’s just how I was raised. Does it offend you?”
“You shouldn’t care if it offends me, Jem. You should have more pride in yourself.”
I chuckled. “Pride goeth before the fall, Brother.”
He smiled and cast me a sideways glance. “Yes… I suppose it does.”
“And what’s pride got to do with anything? If I’m sorry, I’m not too proud to admit it. I don’t go around apologizing for stuff I ain’t sorry about, though.”
He didn’t say anything.
“Can I scoot the candle just a little closer? I need a bit more light.”
“I do not mind.”
“Thanks. Okay… here.”
“What’s that?”
“Huh? It’s water. Let me help you up so you don’t get strangled.”
“I do not need water.”
“Oh, quit complaining. A little water never hurt anyone. Don’t worry. It’s a fresh bottle. I just picked it up at the store, right before I came here. I didn’t drink out of it yet. Promise.”
“Picked it up at the store?”
“Yeah. Well, actually it came from a vending machine. The store was closed.”
He didn’t say anything, just stared at me.
“Vending machine—it’s this big box you put money in and stuff comes out. In this case, water.”
“Money? You mean… you pay for water?”
“Yeah, sure. It’s cheaper if you buy it by the case, but there’s no way I could carry that much weight around.”
“What creature has the audacity to charge people for water? Is there a being capable of confining the world’s water? Does he dole it out for money only? Must you be wealthy to be deemed worthy of life?”
“Okay… well… no. No one owns the Earth’s water. At least, not yet. We pay for water, yes. Well… we pay for the ability to get—or should I say, the convenience of getting—water.”
He only stared at me, confusion causing the many creases in his forehead to crease even deeper lines between his brows.
“Meaning… people pay for waterlines to be run into their homes or deep wells dug onto their property—pay for the ability to conveniently have water easily accessible in their homes. And… when you’re on the go and want to drink water instead of soda pop, you have to pay for the convenience of having it in a handy little bottle. Like this one.” I held it up as I spoke. “Not to mention, lots of our water is polluted or contaminated now. You can’t just go about drinking from any old stream. Or spring, for that matter.”
“Why is the water contaminated?”
“Well…” I glanced away. “Many reasons, I suppose. We don’t have the time to go into all the ways this world is now screwed up.”
“I have nothing but time.”
I turned back to him then. “Yes, I suppose you do. I, on the other hand, do not.”
“Say what is in your heart, Jem. You have been so refreshingly honest up to this point. Why has such a question as this given you pause?”
I rubbed at the crinkles now furrowing my brow. “Nothing… Just leave it.”
“Although I may not look like it, my lovely little naïve friend, I am an Angel—a celestial being capable, at the very least, of being able to read the truth in a human heart. Say what it is that now troubles you.”
I closed my eyes then, pinching hard across the bridge of my nose. “Ugh… Just leave it, Azazel. There is no one person, or entity, solely responsible for the current state of our world.”
“…But…”
I met his haunting gaze then. “But�
� war—in all its many forms—is a huge contributing factor. And not just the conflicts of today.” I looked away again. “History has left its bitter scar. The Earth pays for our sins of the past, no matter how ancient they may be.” I mumbled that last bit. “What was started here—long before recorded time—has only grown… viciously so. Mother Earth can no longer heal from the swath man has cut across her through the ages.”
“…I see.”
I didn’t go on. The lump swelling in my throat was becoming too painful to keep swallowing back down.
“Why do you have trouble placing the blame squarely where it belongs? Jem… do you share in my guilt? Why does speaking aloud my sins, cause you pain?”
“Seriously… can we just stop talking about it now? Tell me. How can casting blame—earned or no—how can such a thing turn back time? What’s done, is done.”
“This is true. And yet—”
“Azazel! Jeez. Give it a rest. I was simply trying to offer you a bloody drink of water. Now shut up and sit up so I can give it to you.”
I slid my hand under his brittle back, trying to gently guide him into an upright position. It was like… he weighed ten thousand pounds. He didn’t budge. Not even an inch.
“What the…”
“I cannot do that which you so eloquently requested, fair lady.”
“All right. No need to start being a wiseass now, Angel.” I dug my phone back out of my pocket, casting its glow away from his delicate eyes down toward his groin. “What the— By all that’s holy…”
“You speak the truth of it, Jem—by all that’s holy.”
I sort of collapsed back onto my bottom, staring open-mouthed at the sheer horror before me.
“So… that’s what it meant,” I whispered, amazed.
“You know my story then? The whole of it?”
“H-how can one ever be sure they know the whole of anything?”
He chuckled softly. “Alas, it is obvious… you know the most of it.”
I glanced back at Azazel, and then returned my marveled gaze to the enormous rocks completely covering him from just above the waist, down.
“When Gabriel is set to a task, sweet Jem, he makes certain in the fullness of it.”
“I read you were bound in the dark… covered with sharp stones…”
“Then why such surprise?”
“I read about it, yes.” My voice trailed off to a whisper. “I just never imagined…”
“Yes, well, concerning the eyes of man—only yours have witnessed such. And… since blame has already been attributed to me, you should no longer give pause in telling me what horrors my sins have wrought upon your world. I know the truth of it. Same as you did concerning my punishment. Yet, I have not beheld it with mine own eyes.”
I didn’t speak, couldn’t.
“Jem… may I see that?”
I turned back to him, noticing then that his withered hand was extended towards me. I followed his haunting gaze.
“You mean… my phone? You want to see my cellphone? Why?”
“Yes, I wish to glimpse at the colors it contains.”
“Colors?” I looked down at the large screen. “Oh, you mean… the picture? But… I thought you said it hurt your eyes.”
“You have already filled my cavernous home with more light than it has ever known. I am becoming accustomed.”
“Okay… if you’re sure.”
I slowly handed it to him.
“Apologies, but… could you?”
I blushed when I realized I’d just offered an eons old creature the very epitome of modern technology.
“Sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
“That’s quite alright, child. Come. Join me upon the ground and share with me your world.”
“Umm… Actually… I wasn’t supposed to share anything with you.”
“Is that so? A bit too late for that now, is it not? Come. What harm can I bring to you, little one? I have been bound by the great Gabriel—by the command of God. I will never again look upon your Mother Earth. And since you are the only one who is allowed to come unto me, who do you fear I should tell?”
“It’s not that. It’s just…” I turned back to the giant rocks. “Doesn’t it hurt? I mean…” I looked up, craning my neck. “I can’t even see the top of them. How is it you yet live, yet speak?”
“With great effort. Now, come.”
When he beckoned me again, the anticipation in his shriveled old eyes brought a smile to my face.
“Oh, alright. But don’t start whining and saying that it hurts your eyes. If you can stand that…” I motioned back to the enormous boulders. “…then you can surely handle my torturous light.”
“Very well, Jem. As you say.”
I think he tried to smile.
I sat down close to his side, dusting off my boots.
“Did you ruin them?”
I smiled then. “Nah. These boots… they’ve seen many hard days. They’ll be fine.” I rubbed my fingers across the rounded toes. “Ahh… my shoes. If my shoes could talk—”
“They would praise your glory.”
“Hmpft… Yeah, glory.”
“I know of that which I speak.” He lightly touched my back. “I have seen much of rot and greed. Very little of innocence and glory. I now look upon the essence of those amazingly rare qualities.”
“Pfft. You’ve just been locked up too long, old friend.” I leaned back, resting my head on his shoulder as I held my cellphone up in front of us. “You’ve been in the dark so long, you’ve forgotten what glory truly looks like.”
“Yes. It is as you say, little one.”
He gently wrapped his ancient arm around my shoulders, carefully pressing me and my phone as close as possible.
“This is my screensaver. It’s a close-up pic of cherry blossoms.” I touched the screen, sliding until the next picture popped up. “And here’s the whole tree. It’s over a thousand years old—the Miharu Takizakura. Takizakura literally means, waterfall sakura.”
“I can see why it is named thusly. And Miharu?”
“Oh, Miharu is the place. This majestic beauty is in Miharumachi. That’s in the Fukushima Prefect… in Japan.”
“…I see. So… it’s still a baby tree.”
I glanced over at the amazed look on his face. I chuckled.
“No. It’s not a baby tree. It’s one of the oldest cherry trees still standing. See how it’s branches are propped up with poles? Like I said, it’s over a thousand years old. There are a couple older ones, but I think this one is the most beautiful.”
“Trees only live for a thousand years?”
“Certain trees. Most don’t make it that long, but some kinds live much longer. It all depends. This one is amazing not only because of its beauty, but also because of what all it has lived through.”
“Such as?”
“Well… a tsunami ripped through that area not too many years ago. It’s also pretty close to where a nuclear disaster happened.”
“Nuclear?”
“Yeah. It’s sort of the epitome of what the need for warring has brought us to. It’s a terrible weapon… a godless atrocity.”
“Because of battle?”
“Yes. And to think… it all started many thousands of years ago… with but a single sword.”
“Ahh…” he said, falling silent for a few heartbeats. “A single sword—forged by a son of God… gifted to a son of man. And so… the seed was planted.”
“Yes. The seed you gifted man that day… it struck a mightier blow than you could have imagined.”
“No, little one, I could imagine. Thus the seed.”
I didn’t say anything then.
“It seems you have lost your fear of casting blame.”
I sort of elbowed him. He grunted and then half chuckled.
I rolled my eyes. “Let’s go on to the next one.”
“As you wish.”
When I flipped to the next picture, he gasped.
I smiled. “I like that one, too.”
“You like flowers.”
“I do. All kinds. Orchids are probably my favorite, but it’s really hard to pick just one favorite flower. I found these orchids growing wild in South America. I was admiring them when that enchanting little pinkish dragonfly stopped by to pay them a visit. I couldn’t believe my luck. It made for one truly amazing picture.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
We gazed silently at the rare beauty of nature, captured in a single breath and preserved there on my mobile phone, until the picture began to slowly fade.
“I would like to see the world through your eyes, little one.” He softly stroked my hair. “If only for a day.”
I didn’t say anything.
“Let me see what other treasures you have stashed away inside this odd little box.”
“I’ve only got a couple hundred pics on here. Normally I download them—post the best ones to my blog. I just haven’t taken the time lately.” I flipped to the next picture. “Oh, this one is the view from Taktsang. That’s where I was when I accidentally fell into the Nether. Or slipped, or morphed, or whatever I did.” I shrugged my shoulders. “In truth, I’m not really sure how I got there.”
“Then… how did you get out?”
“Oh… Drella. He grabbed my arm and took me to Ireland. That’s where I got the second half of the key. And the dagger.”
“Who is Drella? I know him not.”
“That’s because he’s not an Angel… or a bad dude.”
“You think I only know Angels and bad men?”
“Well… don’t you?”
He smiled. “My existence—to you—has been condensed into a single decision. A single moment in time. I am much more than the words you have read concerning my deeds.”
“Of that I am sure.” I half smiled. “Alas, we are what we leave behind. Your deeds follow you, long after your soul has left this realm.”
“Wise words from one so small.”
“Small?”
“Young.” He smiled. “It is as you say.”
“Yes, well, Drella is a Seeker now. But when he was alive… that gorgeous young man truly was the love of my life. I never found another to replace him.”
Azazel didn’t say anything else as I finished showing him pictures of the many places I had been.
“Now then, Gramps, let’s see to your dry skin. Shall we?”
The Journey Page 8