“Look at you.” He said. “You look… like the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
It took a moment for him to realize what he had said. I couldn’t hide the blush that spread across my cheeks.
“Did I just say that?! I am… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you… I just…” He swallowed the rest of his wine and motioned to dinner. “Shall we?”
I took my seat. Captain Fox was cute. I had never remembered Johnathan acting giddy around me, or saying anything so kind. I couldn’t help but smile.
We ate and I listened to him speak about stories he had. I answered his questions and told him about myself and before I knew it I was blurting out my entire life story to him. I told him about my family, my sea experience, and I even talked about Johnathan and Connie. I had never experienced this before with anyone in my life, not even Connie; speaking freely with Dimitri (I discovered that his full name was Dimitrius Fox) was easy. We enjoyed our dinner conversation and before long, we were both slightly drunk and stuffed.
“So tell me… am I really the first woman to wear this dress?”
I couldn’t stop myself from saying it. It came out like word vomit. Dimitri was smiling, but as soon as I said this his smile faded.
“I-I’m sorry.” I said. “I didn’t mean to be rude.”
“No, no. It is fine.” He said in a soft voice. “I’m surprised you didn’t bring it up earlier.”
He smiled lightly without showing his teeth, but I could see in his eyes that he was sad. I had a sense that he was experiencing the same feelings I had been over Johnathan. I imagined what it must have felt like. I only experienced it once and it was enough to scare me; what must it have felt like three times?
“I promise you that you are the first to wear it. Don’t worry about that. I have standards.” He took a swig of wine.
“What happened?” I wondered curiously. “If you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to.”
There was a moment when I thought he wasn’t going to tell me. We had reached our first lull in conversation.
“We can talk about it. I figure, you told me your story… I should tell you mine.” He finished his glass of wine and paused, recollecting his thoughts. “When I was a teenager my parents passed away in a shipwreck. When I heard the news from my grandparents, I ran away from them. We were a poor family and my grandparents could barely afford to take care of themselves. I joined a merchant vessel and began working for money. I worked with the same crew for five years. They became my new family, but I never really felt loved by any of them or love toward any of them. I don’t know, I always felt like something inside of me had been broken. One night our ship was attacked by pirates. We lost, and everyone was killed, except for me. I watched as the pirates lined the crew up on the deck and the captain shot them all. All except me. He told me it was because I had no fear in my eyes when he looked into them. He knew I wasn’t afraid to die and he was right. I wasn’t afraid to die because I had nobody to love. I sailed under him for five more years. He was the most ruthless pirate I had ever met. He would stab you just for looking at him wrong. I watched him rip someone’s jaw off with his bare hands.”
I winched at the image of this.
“I enjoyed it for a while, but then something changed in me. I don’t know what it was, but one raid I just began to feel guilty. I heard people screaming and crying, children were lying dead in the street. I looked down and saw the blood splatter on my hands and clothes and I thought to myself, what would your parents think?”
He was deep in his memories now. It was almost as if he was acting them out before me with his expressions. I saw his eyes glisten a little.
“I had gone on a ten-year mission to forget my parents, and all I found was guilt and sin. All because of one decision… the decision not to allow myself to love. I pondered over what to do for days and when I asked the captain to let me go, he told me okay.”
He began pouring himself another drink.
“I couldn’t believe how easy it was; I was so young and naïve. The crew tied me up in my sleep and carried me on to the deck. After a sincere beating from the captain, along with some bullshit lesson about betrayal, they dumped me in to the ocean. My hands were tied, my feet were tied, I was a bloody mess and it was night time.”
This time I saw fear in his eyes.
“The ocean at night, that is a darkness I will never forget. Being under the surface… bleeding in to the dark… waiting for the sharks to lunge up from the deep and end my suffering. I passed out.”
He took a quick sip of his drink. The emotion this man was showing me… his ability to open up completely without fear… I believe this was the moment I fell in love with him. I wouldn’t say it yet, but my soul knew.
“When I woke up I was on a beach. Somehow I had survived. Then there was Benjamin. He had saved my life. He was a crew member on the ship and he had saved my life. We had become close in our time together; he was as much of a friend as I would allow myself to have at the time. He never gave up on his optimism. Even when the captain told him to do horrible things, he would always remain dedicated to love. It was for this reason that I believe he saved me twice. Eventually our nonsensical talks of love stuck in my brain and it had opened me up to a world I had driven away. It was that day that I learned about love. Different kinds of love; brotherly love; personal love; unity love. I couldn’t help but lay there on the beach and look up at the blue sky and smile. I believe I died for a short time… I don’t really remember anything about it… but I definitely think I had to have died to be reborn again the way I was.”
He was smiling now. His shoulders had relaxed again and he was returning to his normal content state. I was entranced by this man. He was beautiful, inside and out. I could feel myself staring so I picked up my wine glass. He glanced over the table at me and smiled, a realness in his eyes.
“It was that day that I realized life was too short to wait. There were two things I needed to accomplish before I died, to exact revenge and to fall in love. Lucky for me, Benjamin was trained in navigating using the sky and he had stolen a life boat. I spent two years on getting my revenge and in doing so became one of the most fearsome pirate names. As soon as I took out my old boss, the pirate kingdom feared me. I fought him hand to hand and won. I was just as surprised as he was. After everything happened his crew pledged their loyalty to me and I stole his ship. This ship.”
I couldn’t help but stare at Captain Fox in amazement. His ability to be so confident was a turn on. Plus, he was a pirate! He had lived a real life. He had been in real fights. He had seen the world and not just sailed around trading things and making profits.
“After… I felt empty. Even more empty than I had before. I had been so immersed in my vengeance that I hadn’t forgotten my other goal in life… to be loved. I spiraled out of control, raiding again, killing again, hating everything and everybody. I drank away my sorrows. Then, one day, I stopped feeling pity for myself and decided to make my goal happen. I started sailing the world, looking for love, and ever since I haven’t stopped.”
“How long has it been?” I asked.
I knew he was leaving out certain details.
“Three years.”
“And you’ve been with a girl a year?!” I couldn’t help but sound shocked.
He looked down at his feet, embarrassed and sad. I could tell he wasn’t proud of it.
“Not by choice. Well, kind of by choice, but I wasn’t the one who decided it wasn’t going to work. The first girl ran off as soon as we got to shore. The second one pretended to love me, but really only wanted to experience the rush. The third one…”
He trailed off. His face was tight with emotion. He was clenching his jaw line, trying to hold back tears.
“She died.”
“Oh.” I replied sadly. “I am so sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’ve learned to accept that she could have truly loved me. She was trying to. Sometimes I feel as thoug
h it was my karma for turning my back on love for so long. The world was allowing me to see what I had been to people.”
He was allowing me to see in to the dark corners of his soul now. It was time to open up and be honest with him.
“Well, when you kidnap women from their homes, do you really expect them to fall in love with you for real?”
“No. I don’t. Which is exactly why Benjamin and I came up with the plan. Don’t you see? Someone who truly loves me, will be looking for me just as much as I am looking for them. Also, I can’t believe I am going to tell you this, but I had a dream about it. My ship sailed in to a port, and there she was, making her way toward my ship. She had beautiful brown hair and stunning blue eyes.”
As he said this, he looked deep in to my eyes. We lost ourselves in that moment. I took a sip of my wine and glanced away. The feelings he was giving me, just by looking in to my eyes…
“I see.” I replied. “But still… capturing women and forcing them to stay against their will?”
“I am a pirate.” He smiled smugly before returning to his usual calm state. “I never forced anyone to stay. They were always free to leave. It was them that decided to stay and it was them that convinced me they loved me. All for the sake of what? An escape? The adventure? But you… there was something different about you. As soon as I saw you, I knew, somewhere deep down that you were the one.”
My heart was racing again. I couldn’t believe he had just said it.
“You were the girl from my dream.”
I blushed, feeling a little embarrassed by the thought of him telling me I was the one the first time we met. I tried to play it off by using Benjamin’s advice from earlier.
“Sometimes, when you are looking for love as hard as you are, it is impossible not to see the right person in everybody.”
He looked down at his feet. A little saddened by my response.
“But I will say… that I have never opened up to anybody before the way I have opened up to you.”
He smiled, finding a sort of comfort in this. I smiled back at him and before I could control myself I was leaping across the table and kissing him. I couldn’t lie to myself any longer, there was something there. Something inside of me was screaming, telling me to take him. To let him take me. He picked me up and carried me to the bed. He was strong. Our breath was in synch. The heaviness of our breathing entwined us in unison. He began kissing my neck, all the while his hands running over my body. I could feel the silk covering his hands, giving him a soft and gentle touch. I almost lost myself completely as his hands slid underneath the skirt of my dress, but then I panicked.
“No. Don’t.” I said, as I reached down and grabbed his wrists.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
I took a deep breath and let out a sigh. Why did I do this to myself?
“I just- I… I’m a virgin.”
He looked deep in to my eyes for a moment and then smiled gently.
“That’s okay. I will be gentle.”
He made his way back under the skirt of my dress, but I couldn’t bring myself to get the courage to do this. Not quite yet. I stopped him again, gently, so he knew it had nothing to do with him.
“I’m sorry, Dimitrius. I just… I don’t think I am ready.”
He stopped, slightly defeated, but smiled at me lovingly. He slid beside me on the bed and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“I will wait, as long as you need to.”
In this moment, even though words hadn’t been said, I knew. I knew he loved me just as much as I loved him. How could this be? We had just met. This changed everything I had ever believed in. Love at first sight was real. As we drifted off to sleep together, I couldn’t help but smile. Jonathan seemed so far away now.
Chapter 5
Dimitrius and I spent three months together before we first made love. We had done other things, of course, and he was amazing at what he did. When he used his tongue, I melted. He made sounds come out of me that I didn’t even know were possible. His touch alone was enough to make me orgasm. I pleasured him, just as much as he pleasured me. He helped me learn new things, and when I used my mouth he melted in to mine, literally. I didn’t know much about men’s penises but Dimitrius seemed to think I was amazing, and I thought he was very large. I constantly thought about what it would be like to have it inside of me, and honestly I didn’t know how it was going to happen. I was beginning to feel more and more comfortable with him after every adventure we took, and more and more horny. I had never been free to choose when I wanted to lose my virginity. With Johnathan we were going to get married and then we were going to have sex. Cut and dry. But this tension that was building between Dimitrius and I was making me want it more and more each day. I remember a few instances when I almost took him right then and there. The first place we sailed to was a place called Pangea. This civilization was one ruled entirely by women. Dimitrius and I went and visited all of the beautiful shops. He bought me a magnificent turquoise necklace and earrings to match. We dined and watched the stars late at night.
“This is the best place in the world to look at the stars.” Dimitrius said to me. “Trust me. I’ve been everywhere and haven’t found a place better.”
I looked in to his eyes, the stars reflecting in them, and thought about how this would be a perfect time. As soon as I was about to make a move, I chickened out. Yes, this was romantic, but it wasn’t the right time. I could see it in his eyes that he was thinking about the same thing, but neither of us brought it up. We sat together and enjoyed each other’s company. I stared in to the night sky as the shooting stars illuminated the darkness. The next time he was teaching me how to shoot a bow and arrow in the country Native Interland. Native Interland is one large forest. The civilians of this place had learned to integrate nature in to their everyday lives. Nothing that grew was ever destroyed, unless it could be used for a better purpose; such as food. I was having trouble pulling the bow string, so Dimitrius had come up behind me to help. He wrapped his arms around mine and pushed his pelvis against the small of my back. I could feel his bulge pushing lightly against the small of my back, and I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. My skin raised in to goosebumps, which happened a lot when he was around. He helped me pull the bow back, and for the first time I could feel his true strength. After firing the bow and hitting my target, the adrenaline rush was so intense I almost took him right there in the shrubbery. Once again, I fought it. I didn’t know how much longer I was going to be able to fight it though. The third and final time we had traveled to Tortuga, what Benjamin called Pirate City! It was an amazing sight to see. A pirate civilization! All of these pirates located in one place, safe and secure; tucked away from the world. It was interesting to watch Dimitrius in his natural atmosphere. He drank and talked and always remained calm and collected while everyone else around, even Benjamin, made a ruckus. He was popular and well liked, and I fell in love with him even more. I drank a little too much and we both ended up in an upstairs bedroom of the tavern. My clothes were completely off and so were his. I came to my senses just in time to stop myself. He was about to penetrate me when I stopped him. He smiled at me like he always did and made a little joke.
“I thought this was going to happen this time.”
“Not while we are drunk.” I said to him.
That was just an excuse. I didn’t have the courage enough to tell him I was too scared. Even if it did feel like ecstasy. We finished each other off in other ways and laid naked together in the bed. Tonight was the night I wouldn’t be able to fight it though. He was spooning me on his bed in the captain’s chambers as he always did, one arm around my body. I rolled over and looked deep in to his eyes. I couldn’t fight my feelings any longer. I had to let them out. What was I afraid of anyway? Was I afraid that I would get hurt again? Yes, definitely! Was I afraid that he would leave me or fall in love with someone else? For sure I was! Something inside of me though told me to trust it; to trust that it
will never happen; to trust that he is the one for me.
“What is it?” He asked me.
“I… I love you.”
He looked deep in to my eyes for a moment. That moment felt like eternity, waiting for him to say it back. I was scanning his face for any sign of what he was thinking. My heart beat was pounding in my chest.
“I love you too.” He replied, an incredible smile breaking his face and tears of joy filling his eyes.
We were already naked and as soon as I heard the words I rolled on top of him. I could feel the excitement growing in my body. This was it. It was going to happen for real this time.
We started kissing passionately. As we kissed, our breaths grew heavier. I could feel his penis becoming erect and pushing against the lips of my vagina. I felt like I was going to explode, but I fought it. I rolled over on to my back and he followed. I could feel his body weight pushing lightly against me. He started kissing my neck and made his way down to my breasts. I could feel his goatee lightly scratching against my smooth skin. As he began to kiss my nipples, my vagina pulsed and tightened, shocks of pleasure running through my body. The goosebumps came again and as he made his way down I had to fight my orgasm. My breaths were catching in my chest and my moans of pleasure were growing. I could feel his hands on my thighs. Shivers of pleasure were causing my body to spasm and I could feel my legs tensing, squeezing against his head. As my cries of pleasure peaked and I thought I wasn’t going to be able to fight it any longer, he stopped and brought himself back on top of me. My back was arched and my body tense, so I let out a deep breath to bring myself back under control. He looked deep in to my eyes and I could feel his penis playing with my vagina. As he took his hand and guided himself, I could feel him beginning to push. My heart was racing and my breath was heavy.
“I’m scared.” I said, just as he was about to push himself in.
“Don’t be afraid.” He said to me, never taking his eyes away from mine. “I promise I will take care of you.”
Romance: Pummel Me: A Boxing Romance Page 77