by Julie Tizard
“Let’s get out of here.” She snatched up her helmet bag and stomped out the door.
“Great. This is going to be a fun ride today,” Casey muttered.
They got airborne before the other crews and hit the turbulence on climb out just as predicted. The heat of the desert and the turbulence was not helping Casey’s headache or her stomach. She was fighting the jet just to keep her airspeed under control, and she wanted to cheat with the instrument hood and peek outside at the horizon.
“Watch your speed,” Captain Hardesty barked.
“I’m trying, ma’am, but this turbulence is really rough.”
“Stop making excuses and just do it.”
The rest of the ride only got worse after that. Casey couldn’t get her brain out of first gear, and she was mentally behind the jet. She started to turn the wrong way in holding because her situation orientation had completely abandoned her, and she missed intercepting the localizer on her first approach.
“My jet, Casey. Take the hood off and look around. I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but you are flying like crap today. Get your bearings, then put the hood back on and let’s see if you can get this jet on the ground.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Fuck. Get it together, Casey.
The next approach was slightly better but still not good. It was as if all her flying progress had left her and she could barely hold her heading, altitude, and airspeed. After they finally got on the ground, Casey was dreading the debriefing. They walked back to the flight room in silence. Casey got a great big drink of cold water to try to make her head feel better before she went to face the verdict.
“I should bust you on that ride, Casey. That was the worst I’ve seen you fly. What is going on with you?”
“I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t know. I didn’t get much sleep last night, and I don’t really feel that well. I know that’s no excuse. I won’t let it happen again, ma’am.”
“You’re damn right you won’t let it happen again or I’ll bust you so fast it’ll make your head spin. Did you stay out all night drinking with the guys?”
“I had a few drinks with them, ma’am.”
“Well, I’m going to pass you on this ride, but just barely. You’re better than that, Casey. Now go home and get some sleep. You’re dismissed.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Casey left the flight room glad to get out of there.
*****
Kathryn heard Barb Arnau walk into the flight room with her student. She overheard Barb say to him, “We debriefed everything in the air already, and you know what you need to work on. If you don’t have any questions, you’re dismissed.”
“Thanks, ma’am. See you Monday.”
The flight room was momentarily quiet since none of the other crews had returned from their cross-country trips yet.
“How was your cross-country, Kath? Do anything exciting?”
“It was fine.”
“Well, we had a lovely trip to Dyess. Did you know they actually have a gay bar in Abilene, Texas? I snuck away from the group and had a good time despite it being a tiny place.”
“Good for you.” Kathryn never looked up from her grade book.
“What’s up? Is anything wrong?” Barb sat next to her.
“I screwed up big time, Barb.”
“What happened?”
“It was after we got to Nellis.”
“Do not tell me you hooked up with that whore, Jill Eller.”
“I’m afraid I did. It was a complete disaster.”
“Where was her macho fighter pilot hubby, Sam? Screwing every woman in Las Vegas, I assume.”
“Jill said his unit was deployed to Korea for two weeks. She didn’t tell me he was out of town until after we had already gotten there.”
“Kath, are you actually surprised she just ‘forgot’ to mention that her husband was nowhere around? Even you aren’t that blind when it comes to conniving women.”
“I guess if truth be told, I was kind of feeling the need to be with someone, even if it was Jill.”
“And what led to this urgent need to hook up with Miss Skank?”
“I’m not sure. I’ve just been feeling really lonely lately. So I let her seduce me and, once again, it was extremely disappointing.”
“Goddamn it, Kath, if you just wanted a woman to sleep with, I could recommend several nice actual lesbians here on base. Instead, you hook up with a selfish slut who pretends to be bisexual because she doesn’t have the guts to admit she’s really gay but can’t live without heterosexual acceptability. Did you really think it would be different this time?”
“I don’t know what I was thinking. I just needed to connect with someone.”
“So, how was it with Jill?”
“One-sided, as usual. She begged me to do her, but she didn’t reciprocate.”
“So what else is new? I have a suggestion for you, Kath. After this class graduates in four weeks, the base softball team is playing in a tournament in Flagstaff. Why don’t you play with us? We can get out of town for a bit, there will be lots of women there, and maybe you’ll meet some real lesbians for a change. What do you say? It’ll be fun.”
“I’ll think about it. It does sound fun, though.” Kathryn smiled for the first time all day.
*****
Casey rang the bell at Trish and Rhonda’s house. She’d come straight over after her disappointing last flight. She was thankful they didn’t mind if she just dropped in.
“Casey! Come on in, girl. We’ve missed you. Everyone just left. We were having a pool party earlier.” Trish wrapped her in a big hug and held her tightly. Casey’s eyes welled up.
“Rhonda made her famous ribs and we’ve got lots of leftovers.”
“Thanks, Trish.” Casey’s stomach growled at the smell of the delicious ribs.
“Where the hell have you been? We had some hot women here today. Too bad you missed it.” Rhonda set a big pile of ribs in front of her.
“I was gone all weekend flying my first cross-country trip. These are yummy, Rhonda.”
“So how was it? You don’t look too good, Casey. Are you okay?”
There was no use trying to hide it from them. They could always read her like a book.
“My flights were great up until today.”
“What happened?”
“I was flying with Captain Hardesty, and it was really challenging flying in Southern California, but I was doing okay. I was learning a lot.”
“Is she the instructor you talked about before? The one you call Hard-Ass?”
“Yes, that’s her.”
“So what went wrong?”
“Well, I did something really stupid and almost busted my ride today. I went out with the guys in Las Vegas, had way too much to drink, and I kind of spied on Captain Hardesty when she was having sex with a woman.”
“You did what? Okay, I want all the dirt now. Trish, you have to come and hear this. Spill it, Casey.”
“I just wanted to talk to her. The guys took me to a stripper bar, and I felt the need to talk to her about dealing with the guys, plus I just wanted to see her. When I was about to knock on her door, I heard voices inside and I had this burning need to know who she was with.”
“So then what happened?”
“I got this crazy idea to climb over to her balcony and spy on her. I saw her having sex with another Air Force woman, who was married to a man, supposedly. I almost fell off the balcony and we were twelve stories high.”
“Jesus, Casey, what got into you? You are not normally insane.”
“I know. It was really stupid. Then I had to sit next to her today on the flight home, with a nasty hangover, and I couldn’t fly for shit. She was mad at me and almost busted me on the ride. I really screwed up this time. I’m not sure how to fix this.”
“Casey, why did you feel so compelled to see her? I mean, you almost fell off a balcony?”
“I don’t know what I was thinking, but I just had to see her. The thought of he
r with that other woman made me crazy.”
“In all the years we’ve been friends, I’ve never heard you talk about any woman like you talk about her. Are you falling for her?”
Casey looked at Trish and Rhonda but couldn’t speak. Could this possibly be true? Oh. My. God. I think I may be falling for her. What the hell am I going to do now?
Chapter Nineteen
When Casey got home, she couldn’t stop thinking about Kathryn and what she’d seen in Las Vegas. The images made her alternately angry, then jealous, then aroused. Her mind and emotions were trapped in an inverted spin, and she couldn’t fly herself out of it.
After struggling to sleep with no success, she went to the bathroom mirror and looked at her reflection. “It doesn’t matter what I may or may not feel for her. We can never have a relationship. I’m her student and I have to get through this program. It’s the most important thing in my life, and I will not jeopardize it just because I may have the hots for Kathryn Hardesty.” She looked into her own eyes. “You have to get through your instrument check this week, then formation flying, then on to the T-38. If you make it through this and earn your wings, maybe then you can think about her, about Kathryn.”
At the utterance of Kathryn’s name, Casey could no longer look at herself. She tried to hold back her emotions. “Come on, Casey, just suck it up and leave Kathryn Hardesty alone. Hell, she probably doesn’t even notice me. I’m just another dumb student to her.” After splashing cold water on her face, she was finally able to get to sleep. If she was lucky, she’d get four hours of sleep before her 0400 hours show time.
Casey was scheduled for her last instrument sim with Lieutenant Carter. She had to show him she could handle anything in instrument conditions. She was focused as she climbed into the simulator. Nothing would rattle her today, not even Carter’s screaming. She smoothly flew all the different approaches, and even single engine approaches and go-arounds. She was mentally ahead of the jet as she calmly handled in-flight emergencies using only the instruments.
“I think you’re ready for your instrument check ride, Tompkins. Overall grade, Good,” Carter said.
Casey was surprised he hadn’t screamed at her once. Her confidence in her ability to fly on instruments was solid—just one more check ride to get through in the T-37 phase.
*****
Kathryn walked into the flight room and went to the big schedule board. There were several students’ names on the board with missions circled in red indicating busted rides. A lot of students got washed out of pilot training because they could never learn to fly on instruments. This was the most difficult part of the whole year of training.
“Captain Hardesty, I hope you’re here to fly with some of my students having major problems. They’re dropping like flies,” Captain Arnau said.
“Actually, I was hoping to fly with Tompkins on her last instrument flight before her check ride. We have a few things to work out. After that, I’ll be happy to fly with any of the guys you need me to.”
“I kind of expected that, Kath. You’re already in my schedule plan for this afternoon with her.”
“Thanks, Barb.”
“After you’re done with Tompkins, I really need your magic instructor mojo with Parker and Keller.”
“Sure thing, Barb.”
Flying with other students would be good for her. She loved teaching flying, and the moment when the lightbulb finally came on for a student was the satisfaction she lived for. She could clearly see the student’s problem, then show them how to fix it. Most of the students were afraid of her until they actually flew with her. Then they found out her secret, that she really cared about them. She was tough and demanding but fair with them. This last instrument training ride with Casey was important. She needed to make sure Casey could handle any situation under instrument conditions to ensure she passed her check ride, and to make up for their last disastrous cross-country flight. She would put Casey through her paces today and throw everything at her. She just hoped Casey was ready for it.
*****
Casey walked into the flight, saw Captain Hardesty, and suppressed a little gasp. Somehow, she had the idea that Captain Hardesty didn’t want to fly with her anymore. Maybe she was flying with another student today. After she saw her name on the schedule board with her, she had to tell herself that this was just another ride. She had to stay mentally ahead of the jet, fly good instruments, and not let anything rattle her. She had to prove to her that she was ready to pass her check ride regardless of what had happened in Las Vegas.
“Lieutenant Tompkins, are you ready to fly?” Captain Hardesty asked.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I’m going to play check pilot today and try not to say anything to you. You will fly as if you are solo and in actual instrument conditions. I will not help you with anything, and you will make all the decisions in the air. If Phoenix Approach Control can’t give you the approach you request, have a backup plan in mind. Always be prepared to execute a missed approach. If the check pilot takes off your hood and lets you see the runway, consider that a present. Any questions?”
“No, ma’am.” Casey was grateful there was no discussion of their last ride together. Today would be all business.
When they got into the air, Captain Hardesty threw the book at her. She had her fly the most complicated instrument departure with tricky altitude and airspeed restrictions, holding, and simulated emergencies. Casey was in the zone as she flew through each situation and held her altitude, heading, and airspeed like a rock. Captain Hardesty had her request the most difficult instrument arrival procedure. The traffic pattern was very busy, and the controller had to break off her first approach because of a much faster T-38 jet behind her. Casey handled it with calm control as she flew the missed approach maneuver.
Their fuel was getting low, so Captain Hardesty requested an ILS precision approach for the last maneuver. She pulled one throttle back to idle to simulate an engine failure. Casey had to fly the approach single engine and she had to use a higher power setting on the remaining engine. She had the crosshairs of the ILS indicator centered. At the decision height of two hundred feet above the ground, Captain Hardesty reached over and removed the hood from Casey’s helmet visor for the first time of the entire flight. Casey was about five seconds from the runway and greased on the landing with just a little squeak from the tires.
When they got back to the flight room, Captain Hardesty grilled Casey on the instrument flying rules and emergency procedures. Casey knew her stuff cold, and Captain Hardesty couldn’t stump her on anything. She was definitely ready to pass her check ride.
“You did well today, Casey. Just do everything like you did today and you’ll have no problems.”
“Thanks, ma’am.” Casey was beaming inside. This was the highest praise she’d ever received in pilot training.
Casey would be flying with Major Inman, the chief of check section and a crusty old-school fighter pilot who was known for intimidating every pilot in the squadron.
“Casey, Major Inman is tough but fair,” Captain Hardesty said. “Be exactly ten minutes early and be sure and stand at attention and salute him when you report for your check ride. He will not say one word the entire flight. When you’ve completed your required maneuvers, ask him if he would like to fly, then hang on for dear life. He’ll fly a five-G overhead landing pattern. He likes to plant the jet on the runway, then slam on the brakes like he’s landing on a dirt strip in the jungle. During the ground eval, don’t ever change your answer and don’t be surprised if he asks you some very obscure instrument questions.”
When Captain Hardesty left the flight room, Casey was glad the ride had gone well today. It was almost like everything was back to normal between them—almost. She still had the disturbing images from Las Vegas burned into her memory, but she would not allow herself to think about that. Nothing would distract her from her mission tomorrow.
*****
Kathryn arranged to mak
e an unannounced safety visit to the runway supervisory unit on runway three-zero center around the time Casey would be returning from the practice area. She sat quietly in the back observing the two T-38 instructor pilots who were the RSU controllers. They were efficiently doing their jobs monitoring the aircraft taking off and landing, and chatting with her during the lulls in the action. She sat up when she heard Casey’s voice over the radio requesting a VOR approach. Casey’s voice sounded strong and confident. A four-ship formation of T-38 jets was just getting ready for a wing takeoff. If the T-38s requested takeoff clearance right now, the spacing would work out; otherwise Casey would have to go around. Come on, you idiots, get your shit together and go.
“The T-38 lead is a solo student. This isn’t going to work out. He’s not ready,” the T-38 controller said to the other controller.
“Tango 37, approach clearance canceled. Fly runway heading, climb and maintain three thousand feet,” he called over the radio.
“Tango 37, roger, runway heading, three thousand,” Casey replied.
Oh, crap. Don’t forget to clean up the jet, Casey.
Kathryn held her breath as Casey’s airplane approached the RSU overhead, and she exhaled when she saw the gear, flaps, and speed brake retract like they were supposed to. Good job, Casey, now request another approach.
“Tango 37, turn right heading zero-three-zero at the departure end of the runway and contact departure control,” the RSU controller transmitted.
“Tango 37, heading zero-three-zero at the end. Good day,” Casey replied.
Kathryn anxiously waited for the sound of Casey’s voice over the radio as she came around for another approach. This time there was no other traffic to interfere with her approach. Kathryn saw the white flashing landing light of Casey’s jet in the distance. The airplane nose was yawed fifteen degrees to the right of the final approach path—a single engine approach. Come on, Casey, do it just like you flew it yesterday.