Grandma Wynn never missed a beat as she replied, “Erin dear, you really need to stop being so paranoid. Not everything is about you.”
Jack couldn’t hold back his laughter at the look on Erin’s face.
Sixteen
“Tank, go find a friend to play with.” Erin laughed as she threw the Frisbee for the hundredth time. She was sitting on the bench in the park with Jack, and there were at least ten other dogs around he could be playing with. Yet every time she threw it, he’d race back and plop it on her lap.
“I’d say he’s a bit smitten with you.” Jack was leaning back on the bench with his arms crossed in front of him. “I’m not sure whether to be happy or slightly offended that he seems to not really care that his actual owner—the one who feeds him and cares for him—is here or not.” He aimed the last words at the dog, pretending to glare at him sternly.
Tank wasn’t paying any attention to him, though, completely focused on the toy he was waiting for her to throw.
“He just knows I’ll throw it. He knows you get annoyed easily and stop throwing it for him.”
She laughed as his eyebrow shot up in indignation. “I don’t get annoyed. I’m just not so easily played. He knows you’re a sucker, so he goes to you.”
She rolled her eyes at him, then turned to whip the Frisbee out for Tank.
“I’m not a sucker. I’m just nicer.” She had to admit, she was a bit of a sucker when it came to Tank. Somehow the dog had bulldozed his way into her heart. She’d never seen an animal so happy about life, and just so willing to be everyone’s friend.
“I wish the apartments my grandma is in allowed pets to live there. I think she’s quite taken with Tank too, and I’d love to be able to get her a dog.”
“Well, we’ll just have to take Tank to visit her lots. Lord knows he doesn’t have enough people who dote on him and spoil him.” He reached out as Tank raced back over with the Frisbee in his mouth, but Tank wouldn’t let him take it. He pulled it away and let Erin take it.
“Traitor.”
A loud laugh escaped as he huffed the word out.
They sat watching Tank as he raced away again in hot pursuit of the spinning toy. He almost ran over top of a small beagle that was walking along the path, but it didn’t even slow the big black lab down.
“So, have you been looking at apartments at all? What do you have planned?”
She sighed as she was brought back to the thought of reality. “To be honest, I haven’t even started to look. I’ll stay in the house until it’s sold, and make sure everything is finished up. It’s hard to think about leaving it.”
Turning to look at him, he was watching her intently.
“It’ll be hard, but it’s time to start looking to the future. Sometimes it’s good to start fresh.” He gave her his lopsided smile. “Have you considered the possibility of maybe moving in somewhere that would allow a big black dog who loves you, the chance to see you every day?”
Her heart jumped into her throat as he asked the question quietly.
“Jack, you know how I’ve always felt about living with someone before being married. That hasn’t changed. I know I’m horribly old-fashioned, but I guess being raised by a grandmother with traditional, old-school values rubbed off on me.” She was slightly embarrassed, knowing that if her history with men over the past couple of years was any indication, Jack would be rolling his eyes and telling her how silly she was being.
“I know. I’ve always known how you felt about it. But what if you were married to the person who happens to live with the dog?”
His eyes were boring holes into her own as he sat watching her, not moving a muscle, even as Tank ran back over and banged into his leg on his way past to give Erin the Frisbee.
She swallowed hard and looked down at Tank, reaching out to take the it from his mouth.
“I don’t know. I guess I hadn’t thought about it. I’ve only just gotten back into town, and I’m still not even sure where things are with you and me.” Her heart was pounding so loud she was sure everyone in the park would be able to hear it. “Marriage wasn’t at the top of my list of things I thought I’d be thinking about.”
Her mouth was feeling dry and the sound of blood rushing through her veins was like a freight train racing past.
Surely he wasn’t being serious?
Tank whined loudly, making her realize she was still sitting with the toy in her hand. He’d been patiently waiting while she was in a daze.
With a hand that now trembled, she gave the Frisbee a weak throw.
“Listen, Erin, I know it’s fast. But it also isn’t if you think about the history we have together. Nothing has changed between us, except that now I’m hopefully more mature and ready to deal with being an adult. And ready to do the right thing with the woman I love.”
She was sure she was going to pass out as her entire body started to feel weak from the emotions overwhelming her. All her life she’d dreamed of marrying Jack Roberts. It had been there since she was a little girl, through the years they dated, and even long after they’d broken up.
But she’d also moved on after everything, and had finally come to a point in her life where she felt free from that hold he’d always had on her. Her mind raced in a hundred directions as she tried to figure out what to say. And what to do.
“Jack, I just don’t know. I mean, I know I love you. There’s never been any question about that. I’ve loved you as long as I’ve known you. But I just don’t know if it’s right. I don’t know…”
“It’s fine, Erin. I know you’re still holding onto the hurt I caused you. I don’t really know what more I can do to prove to you how sorry I am. As long as you’re going to have those feelings trapped inside and controlling everything between us, then I don’t really know where to go from here.” He stood up and whistled for Tank, who came barreling over.
She quickly stood too and reached out for his arm. “Jack, no. I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to let it go. I want to. And, I know you’re sorry, and I’ve forgiven you in my heart, but—”
He interrupted her again, turning his head and pinning her with his gaze. “Have you really, Erin? I’d think if you’d forgiven me, you’d quit bringing up what I did in the past. You’d be able to trust me, and you’d know what I’m feeling is true. But I almost feel like you want to keep using what I did in the past as a shield of armor so I can’t get any closer to you. You’re still afraid I’ll make the same stupid mistakes I did when I was younger.”
Erin could feel his pain, and she desperately wanted to explain, to try and make him understand. But she could see he was hurt, and no matter what she said right now, she didn’t think he’d believe her anyway.
Everything he was saying was true. She did keep throwing up the past any time she felt threatened, and it wasn’t fair. They were both young then, and the mistakes he’d made shouldn’t be controlling her.
She just wished she knew how to let it all go.
Seventeen
“So did you break up again, or what?” Emma’s voice sounded angry before he even had a chance to continue.
“Emma, back off and let him talk.” Thankfully, Bri was also here for her morning coffee, and was prepared to step in and help him if needed.
“No, we didn’t. I just told her maybe we both needed some time to think. I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. I know what my feelings are, but if she can’t let go of the past, then I don’t know what I can see for our future.”
He pushed his hand through his hair, as he leaned his elbows on the table. Bri sat across from him, watching him closely, while Emma stood to the side of the table with a pot of coffee she was setting out.
She let out a sigh, then sat down at the table beside Bri, facing him. Warily he met her eyes, waiting for her to start with her “told you so’s.”
“Listen, I know how much you love her. I can see that. And I can also see how much she loves you, whether she’s willing to admit it or not. Wh
ile I think maybe you’re crazy for expecting her to be ready to marry you so quickly. Honestly, after seeing Bri and Anthony, I have no doubt maybe there’s something to be said for quick.”
He waited, sure she had more to say. The sounds of the coffee pots humming and the smell of the fresh baking she already had going in the back filled the emptiness of the coffee shop.
“Just be patient with her. I have a feeling she’s already forgiven you, but those little doubts keep pushing into her mind. It’s up to you to prove to her once and for all, those doubts are part of your past. Not your future.”
“What do you suggest I do then? I know what I want, and it’s Erin. She’s had my heart forever, but I don’t know how else I can show her.”
He sat looking back and forth between his sisters, who both just sat smiling at him.
“Jack, you’re a Roberts. Time to turn on your charm, and maybe just prove to her the next time you talk about marriage, you do it right.”
He crinkled his eyebrows together as he tried to figure out what Emma meant.
Bri reached out and placed her hand on his arm.
“You know, sometimes a woman is more inclined to believe you’re serious when you say you want to marry them, if you actually take some time to prove it to them when you ask.”
What was she getting at?
They both rolled their eyes at what he was sure would be his blank look and shook their heads. Finally, Bri spoke up, “Plan something perfect for her, to prove you love her. Let her know how special she is to you by making an effort when you propose.”
Emma nodded her head.
“Once Erin sees that you mean it, and you aren’t just mentioning something as serious as marriage in casual conversation, all of the worries from the past will be gone. Sweep her off her feet.”
Normally, any advice his sisters would have for him would be apt to go in one ear and out the other. But this time, just maybe, they were on to something.
If Erin needed to be swept off her feet, he was ready to grab his broom.
* * *
She sat behind the nurse’s desk, working on the file. Today was more of an orientation shift for her, and the nurse she was shadowing had given her the task of filling out a couple of charts. The hospital here was going to be much slower than the one she had worked at in Denver, but she’d already noticed the comfortable and welcoming feel of the smaller unit.
The hospital had five floors, with a surgical floor, maternity ward, pediatric, and regular acute care. Today she was getting her orientation in the emergency department, which was something she was familiar with. But she could fill in anywhere they needed her.
It felt good to be back doing something she loved. And where she felt needed.
Her grandma was all settled in at her new apartment, and Erin was left in the house to finish packing everything up. There would be a small auction for some of the items, and she was already dreading that day. She had lived in that house for as long as she could really remember and leaving it wasn’t going to be easy.
But her grandma seemed to be adapting well, so she figured she could do the same. She didn’t want to make her grandma feel bad, so she would just do what she could to get things settled up quickly.
Then, of course, she’d have to figure out where she was going, and what she would do.
And now that she may have destroyed the relationship she was building back up with Jack, she wasn’t sure what that would be.
Some days she really wished she could be the adventurous and free-spirited kind of woman who could move through life without dragging the baggage from her past with her. But no, she brought the whole set of luggage, and a carry-on too.
Jack had proven since the day he found her in that ditch he wasn’t the same young and foolish kid who’d dumped her. And she wasn’t the naive and love-struck girl she’d been back then either.
They’d both grown up, had other relationships, and somehow found their way back to each other.
She needed to take her bags and throw them out the window.
“Erin, we have a couple of people coming in who were in a fender bender over on Tenth Street. It doesn’t sound serious to me, but if you can help me get them assessed, I’d appreciate it.”
They were already working short staffed tonight, and the two other nurses on the evening shift in this department had gone on their break.
Her heart did the usual jump with adrenaline as she prepared to assist with an emergency situation. She’d wanted to be a nurse since she was a little girl, and the excitement of the job had never left her.
“I’ll put these files in the back room and be right there.”
The ambulance was pulling up out front, so Erin hurried to take the personal files back, and wash her hands.
As the voices came through the door announcing their arrival, her stomach did a flip as she recognized Jack’s strong, sure voice.
“I will handle her, if you can take the next one into curtain five.” The nurse she was working with followed Jack and his partner, so Erin headed toward the ambulance bay where another rig had pulled in with the second patient.
Ignoring the wailing of the woman Jack had brought in, she went over to hear about her patient being wheeled through the door.
“That woman is crazy. And she shouldn’t have a driver’s license.” The older man on the stretcher was obviously irritated as he pointed at the stretcher Jack was pushing behind the curtain on the far side of the emergency department.
Smiling, she tried to calm the man as the paramedics filled her in on his condition. There didn’t appear to be anything wrong with him, other than a cut over his eye that looked like it might need stitches.
She went through his assessment. He was going to be okay, however, he’d still need to be seen by the doctor for the bump he’d taken on his head.
The woman in the other bed was still carrying on, so she decided to go and give a hand.
Excusing herself, she walked over, throwing her gloves into the hazmat trash can along the way, and grabbing a new pair to pull over her hands. As she got to the other side of the curtain, the woman’s voice could be heard clearly.
“Oh, Jack, I’m so scared. I’m so glad it was you who came along to rescue me. You’ve always been my knight in shining armor. I just don’t know what I’d do without you in my life.”
Her heart in her throat, she slowly pulled the curtain back. Jack stood to the side of the stretcher, and a blonde head was pressed into his chest, with her arms reached around his waist.
His eyes met hers, and she imagined it was much how a deer in the headlights would look before they were struck down.
And she was the one behind the wheel.
Eighteen
Jack was sure the moment she pulled the curtain back, she’d immediately believed the worst.
“Jennifer, you need to calm down and let the nurses and doctors look after you now. You’re perfectly fine.”
His eyes stayed on Erin as she did her best to avoid his gaze. She was helping the nurse who was trying her best to calm Jennifer down.
Jennifer Olson was someone they all knew. She’s been after Jack forever, determined to get him to take her out. And she was Bri’s biggest adversary. Anyone Bri had ever liked or dated in her life, Jennifer had swooped in to steal them. It was like it was her personal mission to make Bri’s life miserable.
Jack had always had a suspicion Jennifer’s hatred of Bri stemmed from the fact that her big brother wouldn’t give her the time of day.
“Erin Fowler, is that you?” Jennifer sniffed and wiped at her eyes as she finally let go and looked at Erin.
“Hello, Jennifer. Yes, it’s me.”
“I had no idea you were back in town.” Jennifer couldn’t even hide the ugliness from her voice. If there was one person she hated as much as his sister, it was Erin—the girl who’d stolen her chance with Jack—at least in her own eyes.
“Yes, I’m back. And I’m not planning on going anywh
ere this time.” Her eyes flashed a hint of anger, and he had to fight the urge to smile.
Jennifer turned to face Jack. “Did you know she was back?”
“I was the first person to see her when she arrived. And we’ve spent just about every day together since. So, yes, I knew she was back.”
The other nurse was looking between them all as she tried to get Jennifer to answer the questions she was asking.
Jack enjoyed the look of disgust on Jennifer’s face. She wasn’t happy to hear that he’d been seeing Erin again.
He moved the curtain back to leave, now she was calmed down more, and he could leave his paperwork at the desk.
“So, you’re not planning to go running off to Denver again then? I’m surprised Jack is even willing to speak to you again after you ran off like that.”
He turned to set Jennifer straight, not wanting to give her the chance to get her claws into Erin.
But Erin wasn’t falling into her trap anyway. She started pumping up the blood pressure cuff they had wrapped around Jennifer’s arm, and Jack almost laughed as he realized how tight it was getting.
“Ow, Erin, you’ve got that too tight!”
“It needs to be tight enough for us to get an accurate reading.” Erin smiled sweetly at Jennifer.
The other nurse snickered out loud as she wrote something on the chart.
“Are you having any pain anywhere, Jennifer?”
The woman was trying to finish the chart so they could give the assessment to the on call doctor when he arrived.
Jennifer whipped her head to face the other nurse. “Well, yes I am. Where Erin has this contraption wrapped so tight around my arm, I can barely feel it now. I’m sure my circulation is being cut off.”
“But other than that, do you have any pain from your accident?”
“Yes, I do. My neck is sore, and my shoulder where my seatbelt was. That old man is going to pay dearly for this. I’ll be making sure my father gets his lawyers involved. I’m going to get his license taken away.”
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