by Mary Calmes
"What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked, his breath warm in my ear, his knee bumping mine before his thigh as he slid into the booth beside me.
I didn't answer.
"Put your head up and look at me."
I rolled it sideways but didn't lift it up.
"Tell me what you're doing here."
"You first."
He growled, which sent a flush of heat over my skin. "My friends wanted to go dancing."
This was by far the biggest revelation of the night. "Do you know how?"
And I thought the look couldn't get any darker.
I chuckled. "Sorry, you better go."
"I want you to go home."
I shrugged. "Somebody'll take me home, Detective, don't you worry."
He stared at me a long minute before he got up.
"Jory!"
I lifted my head then so I could see my friend Eddie.
"Jory, c'mon, Wade's gettin' his ass kicked in the bathroom."
"Only at a straight club," I muttered as I got up slowly to follow him. "This kinda shit never happens at a gay club."
I trailed after Eddie, zigzagging through the crowd, keeping up a running commentary about how if we were in a gay club the word "bitch" would have been volleyed back and forth and then everyone would have walked away. At straight clubs, however, fists flew instead of insults about what you were wearing.
Eddie went through the door but before I could follow, a heavy hand was clamped down on my shoulder. When I turned my head, Detective Kage was there.
"Lemme go, I gotta—"
"And you're gonna do what?" he snapped at me, shoving me aside, pinning me to the wall. "Don't move."
"Wait, I gotta help my—"
He pressed his hand hard against my chest and I could feel the cold cement through the thin fabric of my spandex T-shirt. "He'll be right out. Don't you fuckin' move."
I nodded and he threw open the door and disappeared inside. Not even a minute later Eddie came out, trailed by Wade and finally Detective Kage.
"Thank you." Wade sighed, pressing some paper towels against his bottom lip as he stared at the police officer.
"Really."
He nodded before his eyes flicked to me.
"Jory." Eddie laughed nervously. "You didn't tell me you brought backup."
"I didn't know I had."
"Detective Kage scared the shit outta those guys!"
"They deserve it," Wade groused, balling up the bloody paper towel in his hand. "That asshole's been hittin' on Gretchen all night and he saw she was with me—what the hell?"
"Never follow a guy into a bathroom," Detective Kage warned him.
"Unless you're in a gay club," I countered. "And you're invited."
"Because," he said loudly, trying to keep the conversation serious. "You never know where his friends are. There were four other guys in there."
Wade nodded. "I'll keep it in mind, Detective."
"Thanks again," Eddie said quickly.
"Yeah, thanks man," Wade chorused, grabbing hold of the front of my T-shirt and tugging me after him. "Let's go get something to eat and—"
But I was yanked backwards out of my friend's grip. I felt like a rag doll pulled in two directions at once.
"Jory ate already. I'll take him home, you guys go ahead."
They would have argued with me. They didn't argue with Detective Kage. They both hugged me good night, I got the guy clench times two, and then they were gone. I stood motionless as Detective Kage walked around in front of me.
"Thank you for saving Wade."
He didn't say a word, just stared down at me.
"You don't hafta take me home."
"Clearly I do if I want to make sure you get there in one piece."
"What are you talking about? I didn't get hurt."
"But you would have."
And maybe I would have but I would never admit to it.
"Come with me."
I followed him back out into the crowded club and we found the table where the rest of his friends were. There were three guys, counting him, and five women. I had no idea what the dynamics were, who was with whom, or if they had just met out, or if the guys had just attached themselves to the women, I didn't know but I definitely didn't want to intrude.
"Sit," Detective Kage ordered me after he sat down on the long sectional.
I obediently took a seat beside him. He didn't introduce me—it would have been impossible anyway, as loud as it was—and when drinks were ordered I got a mineral water. He was hilarious.
Sitting there, I got to do more people-watching, which I always enjoyed. Two of the women at the table tried to get Detective Kage to dance, without success. The woman on the other side of him was more subtle than the others; she leaned close to him to talk, slid her hand over the sleeve of his shirt, touching him to emphasize whatever point she was making. But when he moved to make room for the others coming back from the dance floor, he ended up closer to me, plastered to my side from shoulder to knee.
"You cold?"
I shook my head. I had to quit trembling every time he touched me.
"Then what?"
I had to think of something quick. "Nothing, I was just thinking... doesn't the way we're sitting remind you of one of those horrible high school dances?"
He shook his head, slouching down on the seat.
We were at eye level when I turned to look at him. "Never a wallflower?" I teased, smiling.
"No."
I nodded. "Big jock, huh?"
"How'd you guess?"
"Football? Lineman maybe?"
"Left tackle."
"Whatever that is." I chuckled, crossing my arms. "You were popular so you didn't have to work at it like the rest of us."
"And how long've you been out of high school, Jory?"
I squinted at him. "I'm twenty-two... I told you that."
He grunted.
"How old are you?"
"Thirty-four."
"You're young to be a detective, aren't you?"
"Not really."
"Yeah, but don't you—"
"Sammy, dance with me!" a woman yelled as she took a seat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and straddling his hips. It was a neat trick considering she had a dress on.
"Oh-kay." I stood up, not wanting her knees on me or the mojito she was holding to get dumped in my lap. "I think I'm gonna go."
He just looked at me. Just that much distance made it too hard to hear.
I walked around him to get to the ear she wasn't blowing in and leaned down close to him. "I'm gonna go. I hafta work in the morning."
He reached up and fisted his hand on the neck of my T-shirt. "I'll take you."
"But...." I gestured at the woman in his lap. "Hello."
I actually got a grin before he yanked me down beside him.
"Sit."
"You know, I really—"
"Shut up."
I felt my brows furrow as he lifted the woman from his lap and set her on the couch to his left. He moved her like she weighed nothing at all. I was smaller than her; he could carry me wherever he wanted.
"Let's go."
It was agony to spend another minute with him but there was no way to leave without a scene. So I allowed myself to be steered, once again, out of yet another club to the street.
Before I could even shiver, I was wrapped up in a cocoon of warmth.
"Keep that on 'til we get to the car."
His peacoat swallowed me, falling to my knees, hanging long over my hands, but as he had been leaning back against it for more than an hour in the club, it had absorbed all his body heat. It smelled like him too. I sighed deeply.
"See," he grumbled at me. "You need to carry a damn coat."
Or get an even better accessory, a man that had a coat.
"Did you hear me?"
"Yes, Detective, I heard you."
In front of my apartment a half an hour later, I was standing in the str
eet, shivering, as I had given back his coat, and leaning against the driver's side door.
"Thank you so much," I told him, my hands squeezing both the outside metal of the door and the leather interior.
"You were great with my friends and I really appreciated dinner."
He nodded.
I smiled at him. "Maybe tomorrow you can have the night off from seeing me. That'd be good, huh?"
He let out a deep sigh, his eyes locked on mine. "You're exhausting."
"Yeah, I know. My boss says that too."
"Speaking of which—it's like three in the morning—how are you even gonna get up for work?"
"I just will, because if I don't Dane Harcourt will murder me."
"That would save me a lot of work."
I leaned back from the car. "I'm sure but still... thank you."
He moved so fast I didn't even realize he had my wrist for a second. "You need a leash."
"Whatever you want, Detective," I assured him breathlessly.
He shoved me back and drove away without another word.
I wondered what he was thinking.
Chapter Six
There was just enough caffeine to carry me through my day. It helped that Dane had errands for me to do from the time I got in to the time I went home. I was in perpetual motion, running, so I never sat down long enough to fall asleep. But on the train I drifted off and ended up two stops from where I was supposed to be. I had left my wallet at home that morning, as well as put on two different colored socks, so I had no money to get a cab. But walking was fine in the crisp autumn air. I liked the smell of fall and the chill revived me. Flipping the collar up on my cashmere trench coat, I darted across the street toward home. I had been invited out to dinner by Nick but had turned him down. Kevin had called three times, Ben five, and Wade and Eddie wanted to have a "thank you for saving our ass dinner" for me.
Nothing sounded appealing besides eating cereal and falling asleep in front of my TV. But it was not to be.
Halfway home I got a call from my friend Jenna, reminding me that I was supposed to be at her boyfriend Tim's birthday party in an hour. They were having it at a pool hall just like he wanted, and I had better not even think about blowing her off, since I was in charge of bringing the cake. She reminded me that I had volunteered over a month ago. And I was certain that a month ago it had sounded good, sounded like it would be no big deal. But now it was a huge deal, practically horrifying in its detail. The hoops I would need to jump through at this late hour to accomplish my task were beyond all imagining. Like changing and catching a cab and carrying and balancing something awkward. It was whiny and petty but I was tired. I swore all the way home.
Fortunately, Dane had caterers all over the city that loved him and would do anything for him, day or night, whenever he asked. Dropping his name was cheating, but I told myself it was okay since it was for a good cause. When I showed up at The Stick House an hour later, Jenna was mad for a second before she saw the cake. All was forgiven as she looked at how intricately it was decorated and saw the many layers. I got a lot of praise lavished on me by everyone. I appreciated it even as I found a barstool against the wall. Shaking my head no, I declined the many offers to play pool and instead just sat and people-watched. I crossed my arms and relaxed, meaning to only close my eyes for a second.
The shaking woke me because it wasn't gentle. I opened one eye before tilting my head back, finding myself looking up at the jaw of Detective Kage.
"Shit," I groaned, straightening up too fast, throwing myself off balance. I would have pitched forward to the floor if he hadn't put his arm across me to bump me back into the wall. He did it like you do when you're in the car and you stop suddenly, putting your arm in front of the other person like that action will save their lives, keeping them from flying through the windshield.
"Are you even awake?" he asked me irritably.
"Yes," I snapped at him, annoyed that he was there. I had told myself that I would stop fantasizing about him and so had wanted to put a lot of time and distance between us. The fact that he had materialized out of thin air was unnerving.
"Why are you here?"
"I'm with my friends."
"Then go be with them."
He ignored me completely. "You were sliding down the wall when I came over here."
I didn't want to talk to him.
"You were passed out next to me."
I hopped down off the barstool, nearly falling until he steadied me with a hand on my arm.
"Careful."
I rolled my shoulder so he'd have to let go and walked away.
I found Jenna and kissed her good-bye, surprised Tim by kissing him as well before walking out of the pool hall. I was debating whether to get a cab or take the train when I heard someone calling me. I turned around as Detective Kage jogged up in front of me.
"I should take you home."
"No, you shouldn't," I said irritably, angry for no good reason. "Go back in and hang with your friends. I'm not some damn charity case."
"Okay," he agreed like he could have cared less and then turned around and left me.
I was really happy and really sad at the exact same time.
Because even though I knew that logically he needed to go away, I still wished he had stuck around.
I stood there in front of the pool hall raking my fingers through my hair and just breathed. I was restless and tired and hungry. My emotions were all over the place and the best thing for me to do was be alone. But I didn't want to be alone. I wanted company. Soothe-my-nerves company. I tried to think of someone to call.
"What are you doing?"
I turned my head to look at Detective Kage. He was back.
"I asked you a question."
I let out a long exhale of breath. "I'm thinking."
"Jesus, don't start now."
"You're hilarious. You should do stand-up."
He smirked at me. "I thought you were going home."
"I never said I was going home."
"So what are you doing?"
"I told you... I'm thinking."
"About what?"
"Who to call."
"Who to call for what?"
"Company."
He squinted at me. "Why call anyone? I'm offering you a ride home."
"But I'm hungry."
"I'll feed you."
I scoffed, smiling at him. "No wonder you wanted me to go into the witness protection program. Feeding us people has got to be expensive on a policeman's salary."
"You're the only witness I've ever fed."
I just looked at him.
"Don't read anything into it."
"I wouldn't dream of it, Detective."
His brows furrowed as the muscle in his jaw twitched.
"I'm gonna let you get back to your friends," I breathed out, brushing past him, starting across the parking lot, heading toward the street.
He grabbed me fast, whirling me around to face him.
"You're tired, so you're way over sensitive. Why don't we eat and then I'll drive you home."
"No, I don't need your—"
"C'mon." He smiled at me, slowly drawing me closer to him. "Please."
"You just wanna make sure nobody shoots me in the head."
He chuckled. "There is that."
I let out a deep breath as he grabbed the front of my heavy wool fisherman sweater. "Okay."
"Good," he said softly, pulling me after him.
I was comfortable in his monster car; the smells were familiar, the dashboard and the view from the top of the world.
"What about your friends?"
"Duty calls, they get that."
I was a duty then; how very flattering.
"Try and stay awake okay?"
I nodded. I would really try.
Chinese food sounded the best so we stopped at a good place in Oak Park. He talked about his day and I told him how many errands I had run for Dane in one eight-hour period. It was nice ju
st swapping information that wasn't so much vital as just banter. I was getting used to him, to having him around, and as much as I knew it was a mistake to get attached, I was having a lot of trouble not doing so.
"What are you thinking now?"
I shook my head. "Nothing."
"Lot of sighing and watering eyes for thinking about nothing."
"My eyes are watering because I'm yawning and tired, no other reason."
"You're really a piece of work," he said, exasperated.
"Whatever."
"Get up, let's go."
Back in the car I was wide-awake, getting my second wind. I was silent though, not wanting to fight with him, afraid that I would for no good reason other than to keep him there. It was juvenile, so I clammed up in hopes that he would just drop me off and drive away. When he stopped in front of my apartment, I muttered out a thank you and grabbed the door handle. But the hand on my shoulder stopped me and I turned my eyes back to him.
He cleared his throat. "You know what? I think maybe I should go in and check your place out to make sure it's secure and all."
"Sure," I said quickly, my mind racing all over again. Did he want to come in to just come in, or did he want to come in and get in my bed?
"Are you all right?"
It was just stupid wishful thinking... although, why not check out my place a week ago? "Yeah, I'm just a little out of it."
He nodded like he agreed and I climbed down out of the car.
"Where are you going?" he asked me as we started across the lawn together.
"What?"
"Something wrong with the front door?"
I pointed to the side. Obviously he'd never stayed and watched me go in. I'd wondered about that. "I can't get to my apartment that way."
He shot me a look.
"What?"
"Are you kidding?"
I walked around the side, behind the house, and started up the wooden stairs.
"Wait," he said, like he was exhausted.
I stopped moving.
"Lemme get this straight," he said quickly, his voice strained. "You walk behind the house in the dark, up these stairs to the top where you can't see shit?"