by Mary Calmes
"I can do that."
"'Cause if I could come home and you'd be there... that'd be good."
I heard the tremor in his voice. Whatever he was looking at, standing in, was bad. "Okay."
"I wanted to stay with you." His voice cracked, got very quiet. "I didn't wanna come out."
"'Cause you like me all warm and naked in bed with you," I teased him.
"Yes," was all he got out, his voice filled with gravel.
Something was eating him up.
"I'll be there. What time are you getting off?"
"Six. Meet me there at six. I'll get some food and—"
"I'll get it," I told him. "You just come home."
"Just come home?"
"Yeah. Your part's simple."
"Okay. I'll see ya."
"Bye." I smiled.
"Wait."
"What?"
Long silence. "Nothing."
He wanted to say something or he wanted me to say something. "Tell me."
"Be careful walking around, okay? Call me if you need me."
"I will. I'll see ya at six."
"I left my extra set of keys on your nightstand."
"You did?"
"I did."
"Okay."
"Those are yours to keep, all right."
"Sam," I said breathlessly. "Are you sure you wanna—"
"I'm sure. I'll see ya later, kitten."
"Sam, you gotta stop with the—"
But he cut me off when he hung up. I went to my nightstand and picked up the keys. The key chain was obviously new and I had to smile at the rhinestone encrusted J. That had to be thrown out right away. How gay did he think I was?
* * * *
It was a silent auction to benefit the Pediatric Unit at the hospital. Originally my boss had been contacted to be one of the bachelors silently auctioned off, but he'd declined and said he would provide free services instead. The hospital was smart and accepted. A house designed by Dane Harcourt was worth its weight in gold as a symbol of status and luxury. If you had a Harcourt house, you had arrived.
As I walked up to the window in the Emergency Room, I saw Nick Sullivan leaning at the desk on the other side of the glass. When he turned to look out toward the lobby where I was standing, I raised my hand and waved. He came through the sliding glass doors seconds later.
"Hey," he smiled wide. "What're you doing here at the crack of dawn? Have you even been to bed yet?"
"Ha-ha," I smirked at him, yawning.
He stepped in close to me and took hold of the lapel of my peacoat. "Are we okay?"
"Yeah." I smiled at him. "Aren't we?"
"If I didn't care so much I wouldn't have been such a jerk."
"Then you must really care, 'cause you were a dick," I assured him.
He put an arm around my neck and led me through the doors to the ER. "What're you doing here J?"
"I have an envelope for the lady in charge of the silent auction tonight."
He gave me an odd look.
"Did you know there's a huge charity event tonight, Doctor, to raise money for the children's ward?"
"Yes, very funny. I know, I have to be there after all."
"So that's why I'm here. I need to see the lady in charge."
"Oh." He let me go. "Phyllis Dwyer. Let me call her down here for you."
"I can go to her office if you tell me where it is."
"No-no." He smiled at me. "I'll call her. Wait here."
So I stood there while he walked behind the desk to make a call.
"Jory, right?"
I looked up into lovely pale blue eyes. The woman smiling at me had the nicest face. "Yeah. Who're you?" I asked, leaning on the desk.
"I'm Colby St. James. I just transferred in from San Francisco."
"Why?" I asked her like she was high.
She chuckled. "My family's here."
I nodded. "So how're you liking it?"
"I like it, except that I got kind of a rude awakening last week when I discovered that the man I had my eye on actually has his eye on you."
"Oh," I smiled sheepishly. "Doctor Nick."
"Mmmm. The man is edible."
"Is he?" I teased her.
"Yes." She arched one eyebrow for me. "He's a great doctor, good with kids, funny, smart, sarcastic, and do I even need to add gorgeous? Have you not noticed those emerald eyes?"
I nodded. "You should do his PR for him."
She smiled impishly. "You're adorable. I get why he's smitten."
"Was smitten," I corrected her.
"Is smitten," she corrected me. "He told me what a jerk he was at the club. You know he's sorry."
"I know."
She tilted her head to look at me. "And have you forgiven him, Jory?"
I nodded. "I have."
She leaned forward to look into my eyes. "You know, I'm standing here looking at you and my goodness, you're even prettier than Doctor Nick."
I grinned at her.
"I would kill for your eyelashes."
"Jory."
I looked up and Nick was back. He looked from me to Colby and back again. "I called Phyllis. She'll be right down.
What're you guys talking about?"
"Just trying to think of a good place to take Colby for a night on the town," I told him, straightening up, reaching out to fix his collar under his white lab coat. "Any suggestions?"
He froze under my touch; letting me smooth out his collar, tighten his tie.
"I dunno, J." He stared at me. "But after you give Phyllis the envelope, will you have breakfast with me? I'm just getting off, so—whaddya say?"
I squinted at him.
"Please." He smiled at me. "I've got stuff to say."
I shrugged. "All right."
"Great." He beamed at me. "I'll be right back."
Colby and I watched him walk away before we returned our gazes to one another.
"Wow," she chuckled, "I had no idea the man had it quite that bad."
"Knock it off," I teased her.
"Oh, Jory," Colby said suddenly and her voice had a breathy quality that had been missing before. "I Googled your boss and—is this him?"
I leaned over the desk and there on the Web site for Harcourt, Brown, and Cogan was the one and only Dane Harcourt. It was a particularly good shot. The photographer had been lying on the ground looking up at him, and it had been a cloudy day. So the sky and his eyes were the exact same color.
"It is a good picture, isn't it." I waggled my eyebrows at her.
Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me. "You took it."
"I did," I chuckled. "Dane didn't like the guy that Miles and Sherman hired—thought he was arrogant—so since we had a deadline for the Web site... I got elected."
"It's a good picture, Jory, perhaps helped by the fact that his eyes look very kind. He obviously likes you if he's looking at you like that." She fixed me with a long stare. "Is he gay?"
I snorted out a laugh. "Uh, no. He's actually the exact opposite of gay—he's like the uber-straight guy."
"You mean—"
"I mean he's like a serial dater."
She giggled. "Maybe he just hasn't found the right girl yet."
"Maybe."
"Well," she swallowed. "I get how he can... date so much."
"Yep," I agreed. "Much prettier than Doctor Nick or me."
"Nothing pretty about that man," she said and I saw the bemused look in her eyes. "How tall is he?"
"He's six five."
"Oh."
"His eyes are gray."
"I can see that."
I chuckled and she looked up at me. "What?"
"Nothing."
"You're just evil." She smiled at me.
"Why don't you gimme your number and we can have lunch next week. I'll invite my boss."
She wrote it on a Post-it note for me without hesitation.
Phyllis Dwyer came down and collected the envelope from me, gave me a hug, and thanked me profusely. She said
that she would love to meet my boss sometime. I told her I'd try to arrange that. She said she was sure the design plans would go for a higher price than the Lexus they had. I told her I wouldn't be surprised. A house by Dane Harcourt was one of a kind. I watched Colby's eyes widen just listening to me talk.
"He's a big deal," she said when Mrs. Dwyer left.
"A very big deal," I agreed as Nick came to stand beside me.
"C'mon, let's go." He smiled at me, hand on my back. "I know the perfect place."
* * * *
I had ducked into the bathroom when we got to the restaurant, leaving Nick alone to wait for the table. When I got out, he was standing beside the wall furthest from the door, and I stopped a minute and looked at him. Easy to see why I had been drawn to him; the thick, dark brown hair and dark green eyes were very appealing. He was tall with the long muscles of a swimmer, broad shoulders, and carried himself with unmistakable confidence. Not sexy and dangerous like Sam, more arrogant but kind at the same time, with that boy-next-door quality. It was weird, but when I first met him I'd thought he was handsome but really nothing special. After I spent more time with him though, upon closer inspection, I realized he was very handsome, and all at once he took my breath away. Like the more I saw him, the better-looking he got. And what really got me was the way he looked at me; always, he stared right into my eyes like I was the most amazing man he had ever seen. He saw me suddenly and he pushed away from the wall, straightened, and walked over to me. When he smiled he had those great lines in his face that I loved and his eyes sparkled. He liked me and it showed.
"Hey." I smiled up at him.
"The table's ready, c'mon."
I followed him to the hostess and then through the restaurant. It was nice to be warm on a cold, slushy morning with nothing to do but sit around. When we got to the booth I slid in first after hanging up my coat on the hook. He didn't pick another but instead hung his over mine. Funny.
"You know why I brought you here?" he asked me, looking up, smiling into my eyes.
"I have no idea."
"Because you like crepes and they have the best. Get whatever you want, it's on me."
"We can go Dutch." I smiled at him.
"No," he insisted. "I invited you—I'm dying to do something for you to... please, J."
I closed my menu and put it down on the table. "Why do you need to do anything for me? We're fine."
He searched my eyes. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure."
"If we're fine, why are you sitting so far away?" he prodded.
"I'm not. I'm right here."
"Why don't you slide over closer to me?"
I shook my head. "I'm good here."
"Come a little closer."
"Nick."
"Jory," he said gently, sliding over close to me. "I am so sorry for how I acted the night I was with my family, and then at the club with my friends. I just... I was completely out of line and the only excuse I can make is that I have never felt like this before and I'm not handling it well at all. I mean," he smiled faintly, gave me the slightest shrug. "I'm usually the person being chased. I've never been on the other side before." He sighed, putting an arm around the back of the booth. "I gotta say, it kinda stinks."
"Does it?"
"Yeah," he nodded as the waiter put two large glasses of ice water down in front of us.
He ordered, and then me, and when I looked back at him he was scowling.
"What?"
"You have nothing to say?"
"I don't know what you want me to say."
"Yes, you do. I want you to say I can see you."
I looked into his eyes.
"I'm so sorry I embarrassed you."
"It's okay. I deserved it."
"You didn't deserve all that. Can you forgive me?"
"I already did," I told him honestly, smiling up at the waiter as he dropped off my smoky black tea and Nick's cappuccino. "God, I love oolong." I grinned over at him.
"It smells like sweat socks," he assured me, hand on the back of my neck, massaging the base of my skull, his fingers sliding over the groove.
I laughed and he smiled wide. Yeah, it did sort of smell like that. But it tasted like heaven.
"And so—talk. You were being chased and—"
"I can't talk about that."
"No?"
I shook my head.
"Okay then... I don't know what you did for Thanksgiving—fill me in," he ordered, taking a sip of his cappuccino and getting foam on his upper lip.
Without even a thought, I reached out and wiped it off with my fingers. "I'm sorry I didn't use the plane ticket and go skiing with you."
"It's okay, I got to see my family instead and that was good. Everything happens for a reason."
"I agree."
We were silent for a few minutes.
"You look great."
"Thanks." I smiled at him.
"Can I ask something?" He looked at me hard, his hand stroking up the back of my neck, his fingers in my hair.
"Course."
"Are you sleeping with that detective?"
"Yes," I answered without even having to think about it.
"I see. And you're staying with him?"
"No," I lied. It was none of his business.
He brightened. "No? Then where do you live, because I went by your old place but your landlord said you were gone."
"I live close to downtown now."
"Can I come see your new place?"
"Yeah, sure."
"When?"
"I dunno. Soon," I answered, leaning away from his hand.
"Sorry, I just like putting my hands on you. I know it's kinda lame."
"No." I smiled. "It's wonderful. The guy who you—"
"Don't," he warned me. "I don't wanna talk about the next guy, I wanna talk about you. Does the detective want you to be with him?"
I took a deep breath. "He's not sure what he wants."
"He's not out?"
"He's barely gay." I let out a long breath.
"Oh," he nodded, getting it. "You're his first."
"Yeah."
He tipped his head. "Well, I wish you had been my first."
"That's a very nice thing to say."
He ran the back of his fingers up my throat. "Your skin is amazing."
I just stared into his eyes.
"Can I just tell you that when you're with me I'm happy?"
"Thank you."
He gave me a crooked grin. "You think I'm crazy."
"I think you're a catch and I'm an idiot not to try and keep you."
He grunted. "Don't hafta try and do anything. You say the word, you can move in tomorrow."
"Why? You don't know anything about me."
"Yeah, but what I do know I'm crazy about. My feelings haven't changed," he said, hand on my cheek. "I want to be with you all the time. I want to go to bed with you and wake up with you and eat dinner with you every night and sleep with you—God, do I wanna sleep with you. It's like an ache I can't get rid of. You should have never let me in your bed if it was a one-time-only deal."
"Nick—"
"Stop. I know you don't feel the same. I'm not stupid."
"Nick—"
"No-no, I'm not looking for you to have to defend yourself.
It's okay. I think it'll change in time."
In time? "Nick—"
"No, listen," he began, burying his hand in my hair, curling a long piece around my ear. "I know being in bed with me didn't rock your world or anything, but—"
"Oh God, you're being so honest right now," I groaned.
"Well, I'm thinking this is my last shot, and even though I'm calm, cool, and collected on the outside, inside I'm a little bit of a mess."
I bumped him gently with my shoulder and he leaned into me, his face in my hair.
"Jory, baby, I'm so sorry," he whispered, arm around my neck, pinning me against him.
"Stop saying that," I ordered him, closing
my eyes, taking a breath. "It's okay. Honest."
"Okay." He let out a deep breath as I leaned away from him, lifting my mug. "So I told my family all about you. My sister Sarah, that you saw at the foosball table that night, isn't even speaking to me. She said that until she talks to you, I'm cut off. She can't believe I spoke to you that way."
"She sounds adorable."
"She's psychotic."
I laughed at him. "That's not a very nice thing to say."
"I just want you to promise to meet my family for Christmas. Everyone's coming back here. My Mom wants a white Christmas this year."
"Okay."
"Okay." He grinned, brushing my hair out of my face, his fingers trailing across my forehead. "Is that a commitment, Mr. Keyes?"
"Yes."
"Good," he breathed out. "Now start from the beginning and tell me why people are chasing you."
I chuckled. "I can't do that, I told you."
"Please."
"No—I'm being serious. It's scary and the less people that know about it the better."
"But the detective knows about it."
"Of course."
He nodded. "Okay, then tell me what you did for Thanksgiving."
"That I can do."
We ate and talked about nothing important. I told him I was going to set Colby up with Dane, and he thought that would make for interesting conversation for us down the road.
"So what now?" he asked me later as he pushed away his plate.
"How'dya mean?"
"What are your short-term plans, Mr. Keyes?"
"Well, for right now, I need to spend some time with Sam."
"Who?"
"The detective." I smiled at him.
"Oh. Is that his name? Sam?"
I chuckled, nodding.
"That's so boring."
"Knock it off."
"So you're going to be with him because how I feel about you—you feel about him."
"Yeah."
"Okay."
"We can still talk if you want. But I don't know if that's what you want."
"Is it all I can have?"
"Right now, yeah."
"Then it's what I want."
"Then we'll talk."
"Good."
An hour later, as we stood outside in front of the restaurant, I told him it had been a good idea to have breakfast. The company had been great and the meal was good.
"God, you're beautiful." He smiled lazily, his eyes glowing.
"Can I kiss ya?"
"Maybe you shouldn't," I stammered as he leaned close.