As Paxton Worth spoke, two burly men moved closer to the session room. The bald one, twice Toby’s size and all muscle, made sure to convey their threat was imminent.
“I urge you to spend your energy reconnecting with your daughter,” Pax said. “Try to employ what you’ve learned here so far. Be authentic.”
“I want her out. Get me the contract. I want to see what I signed.”
“Again with the selfish behavior.” Pax practically pushed Toby back into the session room. “What about what Ava wants? Have you asked her?”
Toby’s shell of a girl remained at the table. Feisty, talented, capable Ava wasn’t in that room. When Pax moved closer to her, asking her what she wanted to do, his daughter turned to Toby, and a single droplet traveled down her cheek. “I’ll stay,” Ava said, avoiding eye contact with Pax. “I’m staying.”
As if the tear burned his own skin, Toby walked over and wiped it. He kissed her head and brushed a stray wisp from her eyes. Backing out of the room, he kept looking at Ava for as long as he could.
Down the hallway into the lobby, he ran as fast as his out-of-shape body would go. Toby stopped at the front desk, ringing the reception bell two, three, four times. He pulled out his cell but there was no signal.
The twenty-something who emerged from behind the saloon-type doors took her sweet time to come to the counter. Once there, she propped her elbows on the desk like she was too tired to hold herself up. “Can I help you?”
“I need to see the admission contract for Ava Sedgwick. I’m her father and I want to see what I signed.”
“Sorry, I’m not allowed,” she said, her eyes darting around the lobby. “But I can go find our Director. Pax will be able to help you, for sure.” Now the girl moved double time, out from behind the desk and down the hall Toby had just traveled.
His actions were a blur, too. He ran past the grand stairs out the entrance to the parking lot. He unlocked his car and started it. No GPS required, he drove down the mountain, his cell phone still glued to his hand. His destination: the first place he could get a signal.
FIFTEEN
Her father didn’t just walk away. He ran.
Ava had said she wanted to stay. But he should’ve known what she really meant was that she wanted to leave.
The director stood between Honor and Ava, his back to the counselor. “Go find an escort to take this one back to the Learning Center. Now.”
When Honor took off, Pax shut the session room door halfway and moved closer to Ava, the space between them so small there was hardly any air left to breathe. The back of her neck was all sweaty. Stabbing pains taunted her stomach. Ava looked around the room for a wastebasket; even an empty coffee cup would do.
With one finger, he outlined each strand of her braid, starting around her shoulders, working his way down the length of it, left, right, left, right. This time when he touched it, he wasn’t angry; he wasn’t threatening to cut it off. Ava wanted to rip out every single hair, one at a time, so he wouldn’t have anything to touch. If only she had scissors, she could make him stop.
“You made a good decision for once. There’s hope for you yet.”
Ava hadn’t really made a choice. After all these years of comfortable numbness, in the space of a few minutes she’d been offered two equally terrible options with no time to weigh which was worse.
If she went with her dad—ready or not—he’d take her back to that beach. He’d push and push until she remembered everything, whether she wanted to or not. At Mount Hope, rope challenges and overnights Ava could do. Sleep and water she could easily go without. All at once, looking at Pax, Ava believed she was capable of surviving anything.
“I see you’ve made progress,” he said, his eyes landing on her chest. Ava rounded her shoulders, folding her arms around her waist, wanting to hide.
“A new T-shirt, up one level. That’s quite an accomplishment given the circumstances,” he said. “Strength under pressure is a sign of good character. See, I don’t care what your father thinks—or what anyone else says for that matter. My methods work. A girl like you needs to be broken like a horse. Taken down and built back up.”
“Perm to ask.” Ava looked past him through the crack in the door. If only Mallory would come around the corner, fine as ever, ready to belt-loop her back up the mountain, then Ava could get that sound out of her head. Rock hitting bone. She could stop seeing red blood spread out over dirt.
“Denied! I know what you want. So I’ll tell you how this will go.” Pax yanked her braid, arching her back until her neck was about to snap. “I find out you’ve mentioned her name or discussed what happened—with anyone—and you’re back to Level One.” He let go of her hair. If there hadn’t been a chair right there, Ava would’ve landed on the floor.
Opening the door, he motioned for her to walk with him through the lobby.
“On the other hand, let me know if any Seeds talk about the unfortunate incident and you’ll get extra points.” He turned suddenly, straightening her shirt with both his hands. “You’ll be a junior counselor before you know it. How does that sound?” he asked, jabbing her so hard in the chest with one finger it would definitely leave a mark.
“Fine, sir.”
In the lobby, everything looked normal. Parents sipped coffee looking interested as counselors talked. Teenagers in red and yellow and green stood patiently by, pretending to listen. Happy faces all around—some real, some fake, some forced.
Pax hadn’t surprised Ava when he told her how things worked at Mount Hope. She’d already figured out how kids climbed the rainbow, changing their shirt colors by telling on other Seeds. Now that her dad had come and gone, Ava could make up whatever she wanted. She could spin the color wheel and it wouldn’t make any difference.
What Ava couldn’t do was trust anyone. She walked through the lodge with Pax, a few steps behind. Staring past everyone out the window to the lake, Ava thought: Funny how water had started it all.
That’s when she saw Justice.
“Here’s the director now,” he said to the woman standing in front of him. “He’s the one to talk to.” Eager to palm her off on Pax, he waved them over. Ava could tell by the way the woman clenched her teeth that she was furious. The lady clutched her shoulder bag like any minute she might belt Justice over the head with it.
Another unhappy customer. Ava wondered how long it would take Pax to convince her to give in to the ways of Mount Hope, to give up on her kid.
“You, come with me,” Justice said to Ava.
The minute that creep took her arm, the second Ava saw that smirk, she had something new to strive for. Thanks to one of Mallory’s final warnings, Ava would do whatever it took to stay out of OP.
SIXTEEN
Three miles, two hairpin turns, one scenic overlook, and Toby finally had a signal. After hitting Jill’s number on speed dial, he breathed into his cell, “Be home.”
He hated being this far from Ava, but he had to talk to someone who’d know if the director had it right. Could Pax legally keep his daughter there against her own father’s wishes?
“Come on, pick up,” he said, unbuttoning the collar of his shirt, trying to take in some air.
“I spoke to you an hour ago,” Jill said when she answered, a hint of playfulness in her voice. “You really need to relax about tomorrow’s board meeting. You can trust me.”
“I’m not calling about work. It’s Ava.”
When Toby said his beautiful daughter’s name, when he thought about her sitting in that room—about him leaving her—he felt pulled into some kind of vacuum. Whatever air was in the car vanished. In a panic, he slapped the buttons on his door, and the automatic windows on the driver and passenger sides came down in unison. Toby stuck his head out, willing the sound the creek made whizzing past his car to calm him.
“Toby, what happened?” Jill asked.
“They won’t let me take her home.” What had possessed him to leave Ava there? Why hadn’t he just taken her
by the hand and walked out the front door? “I need you to find the contract in my desk. Tell me what the hell I signed.”
“Slow down. I understand it’s a very emotional weekend. You don’t want to do anything rash.”
“You sound like the director. This isn’t about me. It’s Ava. She’s different—not Ava. It’s like she’s been brainwashed to say all this stuff they’ve pumped into her.”
“Have you considered that different might be good? She’s been out of control to say the least. It’s time you looked after yourself a little. Really, they’re the professionals. They know what they’re doing.”
“Look, I’ve seen her. The place isn’t right for us. It’s disingenuous, it’s extreme.”
“Hold on a minute. I don’t want to think about what would’ve happened to Becky if I hadn’t sent her to Mount Hope. They saved my daughter’s life.” Jill’s voice was harsh now. Toby could imagine her sitting in the conference room at the head of the judges’ table, sounding like one of those Stepford wives.
While he hadn’t meant to offend her, he wasn’t going to waste another minute trying to sway her to his way of thinking. What he needed was a lawyer. Someone to tell him what he’d agreed to. “Are you going to get the contract, or do I have to ask someone else to help me?”
“I don’t need to check it. It doesn’t matter what it says. You’re her father. The only time things get dicey is when there are custody issues. In your case, there would have to be a mother demanding she stay there, someone willing to pay. They have no legal grounds to keep her against your wishes.”
“They’re not going to let me just walk in and take her,” he said. “Ava says she wants to be there. And Pax has goddamn bodyguards.”
“In my opinion, Ava has issues and she belongs at Mount Hope, but she isn’t eighteen. If you want to—scene or no scene—you can take her. I’ll call local police and tell them to meet you at the lodge, if that helps.”
“Do it.”
“If you run into problems, call me from the director’s office. Put him on the line. I don’t think it’ll come to this, but I’ll play lawyer and intervene if I have to.”
Toby pulled out of the space by the side of the road, turning his car around. He wondered if Jill heard him say he wouldn’t make the meeting before the call was lost.
He told himself to stay calm as he drove up the mountain. Ava will be fine. The cops will come.
There was no sign of police in the parking lot when he returned to the lodge. Of course he’d made it back before they could get there. He hadn’t been gone that long.
As Toby raced up the steps of the porch, he rubbed his arms, trying to warm them against the breeze that came in off the lake. No one stood guard at the door refusing him entrance. Fewer kids, parents, and counselors clustered in small groups throughout the lobby. A quick sweep of the downstairs confirmed what he’d expected. No Ava. Pax must’ve sent her back to the Learning Center. Though Toby was surprised the director wasn’t there, waiting. Did Pax really think he’d give up so easily?
No one interfered with Toby as he climbed the grand stairs, or slipped his key into the lock, or gathered his stuff. In the time it would take him to grab his jacket and zip his duffel, the police would be there. Someone would bring him his daughter. He was minutes away from having Ava back.
Back down the hallway, walking past Nan’s room, Toby knocked and the door swung open. Comforter folded down, shades all the way up, the small space filled with midday light. The room was hotel clean. Ready for another unsuspecting parent. While he didn’t really expect Nan to be there, he hadn’t expected her to be gone either. But of course, Pax was no match for her. Nan had probably already scooped up her nephew and whisked the kid right out of town.
When Toby got to the top of the stairs, he noticed a man in a dark trench coat, a law and order type, enter the lobby, flanked by a female officer dressed in traditional blues. Good, they’re here, he thought. Toby’s pulse shot up and he could feel his neck veins throb. So much for staying calm.
What if the duo didn’t believe him? What if Ava insisted she stay? Toby didn’t know if he could contain himself if his daughter came out with another one of those Mount Hope tag lines. The only things she’d said thus far weren’t her words.
Ava’s words were poetry. Like her mother’s.
When was the last time he’d told her that? he wondered. Had he ever?
SEVENTEEN
Fringe hadn’t been sent to OP from the Ledges. When Ava got belt-looped back from the lodge, there he was, nose to the wall in the Learning Center. Ava couldn’t get close enough to Fringe to apologize for ratting him out for something he didn’t even do. There were no words to describe how awful she felt for sacrificing him in order to look out for herself, doing what every other kid at Mount Hope did every damn day.
She wanted to ask Justice if Mallory really smashed her head in with a rock or did her crazy brain make that up too? But Ava knew she’d done it. What she didn’t know was if Mallory was okay. Was she even alive?
If Ava raised her hand to ask permission to speak—hell, if her chair made the tiniest squeak on the floor—she might end up where she’d vowed she would not go. So Ava didn’t take responsibility, or own up, or call herself a misbehaver in front of the rest of the kids. She tried her hardest not to do a single thing to draw Justice’s attention as he paced in front of the log wall.
Slipping into a seat next to Cheez, Ava pulled a geography book from the stack in the middle of the table. So mad at her dad, she gripped it with her hands. She still couldn’t believe how easy it had been for him to leave her. No wonder Seeds ate poisonous berries and skipped drinking their share of water. Mallory wouldn’t be the last kid to try to exit on a medical, figuring it was the only way.
Out of the corner of her eye, Ava saw Cheez tap the page, telling her to concentrate. If she could see that Ava wasn’t paying attention, then so might Justice. She thanked Cheez in her head for her random act of kindness and sneaked a sideways glance, flipping to the same page hers was opened to.
The universe was not about to cut Ava a break. On the top of page 236, there was a map of Southeast Asia, bright stars on an ocean blue background. In light pencil, next to the word Phuket, some kid, probably a Benno type, had written ha ha. What an idiot. The name of the little island that lured her father—and ruined her family—wasn’t pronounced like a swear. Phuket began with a pure p sound. Like palm tree or paradise or—
She’s wearing a sarong covered in exotic flowers, rose, orchid, and thistle. With her black hair framing her face, Mom is a kaleidoscope of color. She looks too pretty to be arguing with my father. “Why do you always do this?” she asks him. “You and your promises.”
Poppy yanks the handle of the heavy beach bag we try to carry together. My sister urges me to move faster. “Come on, Ava,” she says.
It’s not that hard to walk in the sand. I just want to stay back to hear what Mom says to Dad. What he says to her. Then Poppy shouts, “Let’s swim.”
She picks up the pace, and the strap of my polka-dot bathing suit falls off my shoulder. When I go to pull it up, I lose my grip on the bag. A towel rolls out of it, then another, and another. Towels keep coming, more than could ever fit in one bag. Hundreds of them roll out like carpets. At first they’re bright blue and green, then brown and black. The beach, once the color of sugar, is covered in darkness. I can’t see anything, but I can hear a chorus. My family’s voices. “Rain.” “Pick it up.” “Swim.”
Ava’s head was the first thing to hurt when she came to. Groggy, everything blurry, it took her a minute to realize she must’ve slammed her head into the leg of her chair when she fell. Ava didn’t care about her arm, wrenched behind her back by Justice as he pulled her off the floor. Or her face, when he shoved it into the wall. Or her ear, when he screamed right into it. At least things hadn’t gotten so bad that he was touching Ava the way he had Mallory.
“I’ve had it with you. Stop faking. Nose
to the wall.”
The bump grew bigger and hotter under her hair. Ava thought about Mallory and how much her head must’ve killed after she bashed it with a rock.
Funny, the worse things got for Ava on that mountainside, the calmer she felt. For the first time since she landed at Mount Hope, Ava might’ve even smiled. All she could think about was how much she wanted to go back to where she’d just come from. To her life before that punishing water washed everything good away. To her sister on the sand. To her full-color mother—alive.
For once Ava trusted her memory. She lingered on what she could remember, even though it usually upset her too much. Now, after everything bad that had happened, it was weird how good thinking about her mother and sister could make her feel. Ava didn’t care that she was standing next to Fringe or that he kept moaning to himself. She couldn’t care less that Justice was fuming, talking to someone who’d just breezed into the Learning Center.
“Jesus, I’ll do it. Watch my Seeds,” he said.
Ava could tell without turning around, it was Honor.
“No,” she said. “Stay here. Calm down. Pax has everything under control. I’ll take them.” Honor had to be talking about Fringe and her. Ava’s new plan to stay out of trouble had lasted all of an hour. Fringe was going to OP, and she was heading there right alongside him. Ava tried to imagine OP. Was it a room or a cell? Inside the lodge or out? At least she had a pretty picture of her mother to take with her. Ava kept telling herself it was better to go with Honor than with Justice.
“You’re going to hell,” Fringe hissed at Ava. “You’re going to hell because you killed her.”
“Arthur, relax,” Honor said, slipping her fingers into his belt loop. “No one is going to hell.” She seemed more worried about Fringe than usual, patting his arm, staring at his face like she was looking for something hidden there.
Ava pointed her butt at Honor, waiting to be belt-looped.
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