by Yoshe
Brandi stopped in front of the house, which appeared well kept from the outside. She opened the metal gate and walked up the four stairs that led to the porch and the front door. Brandi heard a dog barking in the distance, praying that there were no dogs in this woman’s house. She couldn’t stand cats or dogs and didn’t want to leave there smelling like either of them.
Brandi rang the doorbell and a young girl of about sixteen appeared in the doorway. She opened the door to the house but stood there, pausing to open the storm door for Brandi to come in. The girl looked at Brandi from head to toe, as if she was inspecting her. Brandi introduced herself and the girl finally let her in. Once inside, the teenager looked at her up and down again.
“You’re Shamari’s mother, huh?” the girl finally said. Brandi hoped she wasn’t Amber because she looked a hot mess with her hair sticking up every which way.
“Yes, um, are you Amber?” Brandi asked. The girl didn’t look pregnant to her.
“Uh-uh. That’s my sister, she’s pregnant by your son,” she replied.
Suddenly, a short, voluptuous woman finally appeared. “Hello, I’m Carol Johnson, Amber’s mother.”
“I’m Brandi Wallace, Shamari’s mother,” Brandi said. “I do have to apologize for my son’s carelessness. I didn’t know anything about Amber’s pregnancy.”
Miss Johnson took Brandi’s hand and led her into the small living room. Everything looked neat and in place.
“I’m so sorry, Miss Wallace, about all of this.” Miss Johnson glanced at the staring girl. “Ashlee, get outta her face and go sit your grown behind down somewhere. As a matter of fact, go finish combin’ that peasy head of yours!”
The girl huffed and walked upstairs. Miss Johnson called for Amber, and a few seconds later she came wobbling down the carpeted staircase. Amber was a thick girl, who Brandi could tell had a killer body before she got pregnant. She was cute, too, with her heart-shaped face and pixie features. Her hair was done in box braid extensions that she had pulled up into a neat bun on the top of her head. Brandi liked her maternity outfit, as well. Amber was wearing a cute baby doll top that covered her protruding belly and some leggings. Shamari did have some great taste in girls. Maybe too much, Brandi thought, because Amber ended up pregnant.
“Hi, Miss Wallace. I’m Amber Johnson,” the young lady said, smiling sweetly.
Brandi stood up to greet Amber and held her hand. “Hello, sweetie. I’m sorry we had to meet like this but I didn’t know anything about Shamari getting someone pregnant. I just happened to turn on his phone a little while before your mother called.”
Miss Johnson spoke up. “Well, like I was sayin’, Miss Wallace, my daughter is eighteen years old. Fortunately, for her, she was able to graduate from high school and start community college. Now she’s gonna have this baby and I ain’t gonna lie, I need the help. I have three older children who don’t live in the home anymore and this here is the last two, Amber and Ashlee. My husband, their father, died last year and I been strugglin’ ever since tryin’ to maintain two jobs and deal with these girls. Ashlee is fifteen years old and to be honest, she’s next to be pregnant with her grown behind!” Carol sighed. “You know how hard it is raising these girls, I’m sure!”
Brandi smiled. “Yeah, I know because I was pregnant with Shamari at sixteen but believe me, Shamari isn’t anything to write home to mama about, neither, as you can see, being locked up and getting some girl pregnant and not telling his mother.”
Miss Johnson laughed. “I know what you mean, child.”
Brandi’s face turned serious. “I also hope you know that I have to insist on a blood test, Miss Johnson.”
Miss Johnson seemed taken aback by the suggestion but she understood. “Trust me, I understand completely.”
Amber looked disappointed. “Miss Wallace, no disrespect. I ain’t no ho. Shamari was the only person I been with when I found out I was pregnant.”
“I do not doubt that, baby; it’s just something to have in writing that says my son is the father to your child. You guys are very young and you’re not married.” Brandi didn’t want to hurt Amber’s feelings but unfortunately, taking a blood test was being realistic. She didn’t know Amber from a can of paint.
“Are you comin’ to the baby shower?” Amber asked, changing the subject.
“Why, yes, Amber, I’d would like that, but let me speak to my son first. I need to get some clarification about this situation. You understand, don’t you?”
“I understand, Miss Brandi. If you want to come, it’s two weeks from now, on Saturday, the twenty-first,” she replied.
Brandi sighed. She always wanted a baby shower when she had Shamari but her mother would have none of that. Her mother felt that a sixteen-year-old girl having a baby was nothing to celebrate.
Brandi sat there with the Johnson’s for two hours. She honestly liked Amber and her mother, too, who was nice enough. She was relieved that Shamari at least had the common sense to deal with a civilized girl from a seemingly decent family. Amber gave the impression that she was a young lady with a good head on her shoulders. Brandi liked the fact that she said that she still wanted to continue her education, even after having the baby. At Amber’s age, she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life and her mother stayed on her back because of this.
“You better do somethin’ with yourself, Brandi!” her mother screamed at her. “You spent the last five years in the street, sellin’ drugs and gettin’ into all kinds of trouble with that piece of shit, Maleek! Now you wanna come back here to live in this house with the same crap that you was doin’ before? Well, I ain’t havin’ it, Miss Brandi Lynn Wallace!”
Six-year-old Shamari was asleep in her old full-sized bed. His head popped up, startled from all the yelling her mother was doing.
Brandi winced at the sound of her mother calling out her name; she only did that when she was pissed. A full year had passed since Maleek’s death and Brandi came back home to live with her mother for a while. The houses that were Maleek’s were long gone but Brandi still had some money stashed. Maleek’s mother sold the homes, which were in her name, and gave Brandi some money to put to the side for Shamari. This gesture made Brandi feel guilty as hell. If only his mother knew what really happened to her son . . . .
“Mommy, you act like I just be here sittin’ on my ass all day—” Brandi began.
Her mother cut her off. “Brandi, you are twenty-two years old now. Shamari is six years old. You can’t stay here if you don’t get a job or do somethin’ with yourself. I’m sorry. You are a grown-ass woman and it would kill me if you went back out in them streets and continued hustlin’ again! Your brothers did it and they almost put me in an early grave,but I would die if somethin’ happened to you. You’re my only girl!”
Brandi looked at her mother and then Shamari, who lay his head in her lap. Her mother was right. She had been in the streets, living the fast life for as long as she could remember. After Maleek was gone she realized that everything that she had done wasn’t for herself, it was for him. He had consumed her mind into thinking that his way was the right way and she ran with it. No more. She had devalued her morals to be with a man and that made her become a heartless person. Now, Maleek was never coming back and she was left to deal with the harsh realities of the world alone.
Brandi felt her life had no significance anymore. She thought about killing herself after it seemed as if she had no other options but hustling. She had grown accustomed to that life, to having whatever she wanted and being in control. All the while she knew what the risks of being out there in the streets consisted of but she was going too fast to care. Did she want to end up dead or in jail, was the question she finally asked herself. It was her first time thinking about the consequences.
Brandi looked at her mother standing in the doorway of her bedroom with her arms folded across her chest. Even though Brandi’s mother had a hardened look on her face, Brandi could tell that she was hurting inside. The Wallace
siblings were about to put their mother in an early grave. The thought of her and her brothers being responsible for their mother’s death sent chills down Brandi’s spine.
After Brandi managed to put Shamari back to sleep, she tiptoed toward her mother’s bedroom. The television was the only thing on in the dark bedroom. As the TV light shined in her mother’s face, Brandi realized for the first time that her mother had aged, although she was only in her late forty’s. Brandi walked in the room, lifted the heavy comforter and quietly slid into the bed beside her mother. The warmth coming from her mother’s voluptuous body made Brandi drowsy. Miss Wallace held Brandi and kissed her, lovingly, as her daughter went to sleep in her arms. The next morning, Brandi went to sign up for the General Equivalency Diploma. It was time to get her life together. She got her GED and then went to college, never looking back.
When Brandi was ready to leave, Amber volunteered to walk her to her car. Amber spoke unreservedly about Shamari, apparently knowing more about him than his own mother did. Amber knew that she was having a boy and she wanted to name the baby Maleek, after Shamari’s deceased father.
Brandi couldn’t help but wonder if Shamari knew about Amber’s pregnancy and if he did, why didn’t he tell his mother about it?
“Well, Miss Brandi, me and Shamari was good friends, we went to school together and you know, one day we just started messin’ around. He would tell me all about you and his father. I didn’t tell my mother everything but Shamari knew that I was pregnant from day one. I was ashamed to tell anybody because he was actually robbin’ and stealin’ tryin’ to get some money up for me to have this baby. I tried to tell him that he didn’t have to do that but he just said that his father did it for you and that he was gonna sell drugs to provide for me and his unborn. I swear, Miss Brandi, I tried to tell Shamari to just get a job, I mean, we both graduated from high school. He said he wasn’t about to work in nobody’s McDonald’s. He just didn’t want to listen to me.”
“So why did you wait to tell your mother that you was pregnant?” Brandi asked.
“Well, I knew that she wouldn’t approve of it. I was gonna get an abortion but I don’t have no job or money. I was goin’ to enroll in college but after Shamari was locked up, I just couldn’t bring myself to go anymore. I was upset because we lost contact with each other and I’m sure he assumed that I got rid of it. I surely didn’t want to tell my mother I got pregnant by a jailbird.” She looked at Brandi and apologized for the comment. “I kept the baby because I thought that Shamari would have been home by now.”
Brandi hugged Amber. “Don’t worry, Amber, you’re gonna be all right. I’m gonna speak to Shamari and make sure he calls you, okay?” Brandi handed her one of her business cards with all of her information. “Call me anytime, okay?” Amber shook her head in agreement. Brandi smiled at her before leaving the house. She then got into her car and pulled off.
Brandi didn’t know whether to be happy or sad about being a grandmother at thirty-five years old, but she couldn’t wait until that son of hers called. She was going to give him a serious tongue-lashing.
Chapter 14
The next morning, Shamari arose from a sound sleep, feeling groggy. The Tylenol with codeine the nurse had given him for the pain was kicking his ass. His neck began to throb and his head felt as if it weighed a ton. He dragged himself out of bed and washed his face, which was a task. Shamari walked out of the opened cell door and shuffled his way toward the phones. As Shamari walked by, he noticed several inmates staring and whispering to each other. They were pointing at the bandages on his neck but he didn’t care. He was no longer worrying about what the bird-ass dudes in there thought about him. He was doing his bid alone.
Shamari dialed his mother’s number and waited as the phone rang several times. Before the operator could complete the sentence, Brandi began yelling into the phone. Shamari held his head because her loud-ass voice was making it hurt even more.
“Shamari Tashaki Wallace! Why the hell you never told me that you got some female pregnant?” she screamed. “Does a girl named Amber ring a fucking bell?”
“Oh, shit!” Shamari exclaimed. “She kept it?”
Brandi shouted in disbelief. “Yeah, stupid ass, she kept it!” imitating Shamari’s voice. “The girl is about to have the fucking baby, Shamari! She’s eight-and-a-half months pregnant!”
“Ma, I’m gonna keep it real. I thought that after she found out I got locked up, she was gonna have an abortion!”
“Shaki, that child don’t have no damn money to get an abortion! You didn’t even tell me so that I could have at least tried to help her out. I’m all over there with the girl’s mother and that woman is probably looking at me sideways because of your dumb ass! But it’s too damn late now! The girl is about to have the baby!” There was a silent pause as Shamari tried to register everything. “Who was this Amber? Was she your girlfriend?”
Shamari couldn’t deny Amber if he tried. He really did care about the girl even though he never bothered to call her back after he was arrested. But because of his avoidant behavior and immaturity, he really assumed that Amber had an abortion. At least, he hoped that she had an abortion after he was locked up.
“Yeah, somethin’ like that, Ma,” Shamari replied, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Well, she’s about to be your baby mama, too. I mean, I don’t understand you, Shaki. You and I used to be so close. You used to tell me everything. Then you have Peeto, his grimy fat ass, ready to sell you . . . Anyway, I’m not even going to address this shit over the phone.” Brandi quickly changed the subject. She knew that Shamari’s phone conversation was being recorded. ”You know you go to court tomorrow, right?”
“Yeah, I know, Ma. I’m gonna take the plea agreement.”
“I know the fuck you are!” Brandi said, with a harsh tone. “I’m not going to be there that day because I have an important meeting at work and I can’t miss it. So be on your best behavior, Mr. Wallace. The lawyer is going to call me with the details and you call me tomorrow evening when you get back to your housing area. Are you okay in there?”
“Yeah, I’m straight,” Shamari lied. He put his hands to his aching neck. “Yo’, Ma, are you still dealin’ with that CO cat, Daniels?”
Brandi paused for a moment. “Why?”
“I just asked. You probably wouldn’t tell me anyway. I’ll call you tomorrow for Amber’s number.”
Brandi shuffled around for Amber’s info. It was time for Shamari to take responsibility for his actions.
“Oh, no, honey! You’re going to call her right the fuck now! It’s time for you to be a damn man and handle your business!” She gave Shamari Amber’s phone number and hung up on him.
Brandi went into the living room of her apartment and poured her a glass of merlot from her bar. As she sipped her wine, she looked at the time. She wondered when Sean was getting off work. Brandi wanted to call him, maybe leave him a sexy voicemail but didn’t want to seem like she was sweating his fine ass.
Brandi knew that she had the qualities to get any man she wanted. Ever since the Maleek days, she had become very cautious about the men she allowed in her circle. Long gone was her thirst for thugs, gangsters, and bad boys.
As for women, she never was real fond of their company, only had one real friend growing up and that was Sheba. Of course, she still rolled with Sheba, who was always a delight to be around. After all, they considered themselves sisters. Brandi laughed to herself and dialed her number.
“Heeelllo? Is this Brandi Lynn?” Sheba yelled into the phone. There was some loud music in the background.
“Hey, Sheba baby!” Brandi yelled.
“Will you turn that music down?” Sheba laughed and turned the music down. “What’s up, girlfriend?”
“Girl, I’m fine. I just came up outta that subway system and I’m tryin’ to unwind. I was workin’ overtime all this week.”
Sheba was a train conductor for the MTA for thirteen years. She inspired Brand
i to put her past behind her and get on the right track. Like Brandi, Sheba was a teenage mother. She gave birth to her child, Chanel, when she was only seventeen. Not too long after that, Sheba made up her mind to get her act together for the sake of her daughter. She was also very instrumental in encouraging Brandi to go back to school to get her GED, just like she did.
Seventeen-year-old Sheba walked down Stuyvesant Avenue, heading toward the A train and pushing a Graco stroller. Her daughter, Chanel, was only a few months old at the time and Sheba was taking her to a doctor’s appointment. It was a cold, blustery afternoon, and out of the blue, Brandi rolled up on Sheba, pushing a black 1988 190E Mercedes-Benz with the Hammer rims . Shamari, who was eighteen months, was asleep in his car seat in the back.
“Hey, Sheba, baby!” Brandi called out to her friend. Sheba looked at Brandi and frowned.
“Hey, Brandi Lynn!” Sheba yelled back. “Who ride is that? Maleek’s?” she asked.
“Hop in and I’ll tell you.”
Sheba seemed hesitant to get in the car with Brandi. She loved her friend with all her heart but after Brandi started dealing with Maleek, Sheba saw that she was definitely heading down a path of destruction. Not wanting to be associated with Brandi’s newfound profession, Sheba didn’t have to wait for any mother of hers to tell her to stay away from Brandi. The boosting and petty crimes that they had committed in their youth were nothing compared to the drug game, which, unfortunately, Brandi had embraced as her new hustle. Sheba wanted no part of it. She looked at her adorable baby girl tucked comfortably in her stroller and decided that that was a good enough excuse to not get in Brandi’s luxury whip.
Brandi looked at Sheba strangely. “What’s the matter, Sheba? You’re gonna get on the train?”
Sheba sighed. Brandi was breaking her heart. “Look, Brandi, I can’t, I can’t co-sign this shit. I know that car ain’t Maleek’s, it’s yours and I know what you been doin’. I can’t co-sign that shit, Brandi, I’m sorry.”