Tania was acutely embarrassed as Madame went on in this fashion. She had known nothing of this family until a week ago, and yet it seemed that they knew a great deal about her! She was ashamed at shutting James out of her life because of her fear for him, and in so doing, had been quite unaware of his second family, which, it was becoming more and more obvious, was how the Girards looked on themselves. Thinking back, she knew how often James had tried to draw her into his life … even Claude would have prepared her, had she not cut him short at every opportunity. She only had herself to blame if she sat and squirmed now.
She needn’t have worried too much. Claude’s family were far too well bred to allow any guest to feel embarrassment. Tania liked Claude’s sister at once. Monique was very like him, though a few years older. She was handsome, rather than pretty. Her hands were ringless, except for a large, old-fashioned diamond cluster, maybe the only memento of her dead husband, Tania surmised.
“Would you like some food, Tania?” Monique asked, once they had been introduced. “We have eaten but it would only take a moment —”
“No thank you,” Tania said quickly. “Just coffee, if you don’t mind. I’m feeling quite tired, in fact.”
“Then Claude will show you to your room whenever you’re ready,” Madame smiled. “And tomorrow we will talk at our leisure, my dear.”
She rang a bell in the wall, and spoke into a tube. It could have come straight out of a film set, Tania thought. In a very short time, coffee was brought by a maid, and she began to realise just how tired she was. It wasn’t so much the travelling as the tension of coming here, and being with Claude again. She was willing to admit that much. Love him or hate him, she found it impossible to be indifferent to him. When she had finished her coffee, he asked her if she was ready. She said goodnight to the women, feeling a little strange to be leaving the room with Claude. It was ridiculous, and she knew it, but she couldn’t change the way she felt.
He led her through endless corridors and stairs, and Tania thought she would never find her way down again. Finally they reached a long corridor with a door at the far end.
“My quarters are through there,” he reminded her of the oddly phrased words, “I wanted you near to me, to make it easier for working arrangements, so your room is at the end of this corridor.”
He spoke blandly, but Tania’s heart thumped all the same. Easier for working arrangements — or for some other arrangement?
“I’ll show you the lay-out tomorrow,” Claude went on, unaware that her pulse was racing at the implications spinning round in her head. Or maybe he was perfectly aware …
“Claude — is that you? I wanted to wait up, but Maman wouldn’t let me.”
The words were spoken in French, but quite understandable to Tania. It was a childish voice, and Claude stopped, with a quick word of apology as he retraced his steps along the corridor from where they had come. Tania hesitated, not sure which door she should open, finally deciding to follow slowly. It wasn’t hard to track down the whoops of delight coming from Henri’s room as he greeted his adored uncle, and Tania heard Claude’s quick explanation that the present he’d brought the boy from Bordeaux must wait until morning, or Henri’s mother would have his hide.
Through the open doorway of Henri’s room, Tania saw the small wheelchair by the bedside. Apart from that, and the fact that all the furniture was carefully placed to give the wheelchair and its occupant a clear passage through the room, there was nothing to say that the child was handicapped. Certainly there was nothing to distinguish Henri from any other child at that moment as he flung his arms around Claude’s neck and hugged him, nor the obvious affection that existed between the two as Claude gathered the small boy tenderly in his arms and then laid it gently back against the pillows.
Tania felt an emotional lump in her throat at the sight of them both. Here was love, she thought tremblingly. If she had ever thought Claude Girard incapable of giving or receiving it, such suspicions were extinguished in a single moment. In their place was a very different emotion, one that she couldn’t readily analyse. Pity for the small boy, locked within his own frail body by a tragic accident? A feeling of wanting to tip-toe away, not wanting to witness these very private moments between two people with such a great empathy for one another? A grudging warmth towards Claude, for bringing such radiance to a child’s face? A sudden sharp tingle of something like envy, that it wasn’t she who was being held so tenderly in Claude’s arms …?
It was all these, and more, crystallised into one gigantic surge of emotion towards Claude Girard. It was as if the tightly locked bitterness she’d held against him for so long, was slowly disintegrating. In a crazy, inexplicable way, it was as painfully pleasurable as the feeling of being reborn.
Chapter 4
She slept surprisingly well. Despite the strange surroundings and the odd silence after the noise of London’s traffic around her flat, Tania found the heat of the south had an almost drugging effect on her, like jet-lag. When she commented on it to Madame Girard next day, she was assured it would soon pass.
“I hope so, otherwise I shall fall asleep as soon as Claude and I start work.” She was conscious of her heart giving a little flip as she spoke his name. “Where is he, by the way?”
The two of them were taking breakfast. To Tania’s relief, a maid had been hovering near her room when she came out, to direct her through the maze of the château’s corridors.
“He takes Henri through his exercises each morning,” Madame told her quietly. “You’ll have heard about the child, I’m sure, Tania?”
“Oh yes.” Guiltily, Tania wondered if Madame assumed that James would have told her, and she was thankful now that Claude had told her about his family. Madame Girard gave a small sigh.
“Claude is so devoted to the boy. It’s a tragedy — but it does not do to dwell on it. Claude says we must think positively, and hope that an operation will prove possible. Meanwhile, he does everything to make the boy’s life as comfortable as he can. No woman could wish for a better son.”
“If you go on in that way, Tania will have to reverse her bad opinions of me, Mother.” Claude’s mocking voice came from the doorway of the dining-room. He pushed Henri’s wheelchair into the room, and the boy looked shyly at the stranger. From his pallor, Tania wondered just how painful the exercises were that the child had to do. She felt a great wave of compassion for him, and her embarrassment at Claude’s words was covered quickly by Madame Girard’s indulgent laugh. It was obvious from the affection between them that she didn’t really believe anyone could have a bad opinion of her son! Tania was conscious of a sudden feeling of loss. Absurdly sharp, it was the recognition of this close-knit, loving family, which was so vastly different from her own.
The love of her parents had never been the driving force in her life — or James’s. They had cared for the children as patiently as they would any small animal in their care that needed nurturing and careful attention. But with their wider interests, the Paget parents had never given their children that one vital essential — their time. Whatever else Henri lacked, he didn’t lack love, or company.
He spoke in rapid French to Claude. Tania blushed as Claude laughed, his eyes dancing at her, as he replied equally quickly to Henri in the same language.
“Tania understands all that you say, mon petit! She will tell you about England if you ask her, I am sure. And yes, I agree. She is a very pretty lady.”
“When we wish to converse privately, we speak in English,” Madame said quietly to Tania. “Henri does not learn the language yet, though he wishes to, and has picked up a few words.”
“Perhaps I can teach him some while I’m here,” Tania heard herself say. Now why had she done that! It just seemed to be one small thing she could offer to the handicapped child, and she heard Claude repeat her words to Henri, whose face smiled in delight at this unexpected bonus. Unexpected to Henri … yet Tania had the suspicious thought that Claude had intended her to suggest th
is all along. She couldn’t explain the feeling. There was just something in the little quirk of his mouth that said he was pleased she was integrating herself into his home as smoothly as he had planned.
She mentally shook herself. She was imagining things. Why should Claude want her here any longer than was necessary to help him on his book? From the way she’d shown her dislike of him, he’d be more likely to make their acquaintance as short as possible! She stopped pondering, and spoke to Henri instead, in perfect French.
“I’m very happy to meet you, Henri. I’ll make a bargain with you. I’ll tell you about England, and you tell me about France. I’ve never been in a château before.”
“Don’t they have them in England?” Henri’s curiosity overcame his shyness, and Tania laughed.
“We call them castles, chéri. We have plenty of those, but the Queen lives in a palace.”
“Will you tell me about the Queen and her palace?” Henri said eagerly.
“Later, Henri,” his grandmother stepped in with a smile, as the child’s eagerness grew. “First you must have your rest, and then your lessons with the tutor.”
Henri pulled a face, and said quickly that he’d rather be taught by the pretty English lady than Monsieur de Lyons.
“I can’t say that I blame him,” Claude grinned, when his mother had taken Henri out of the room. His eyes looked approvingly at the pale blue skirt and thin shirt Tania wore. She wasn’t too sure how one dressed in a château, but decided that it was best to wear her normal mode of dress rather than try to impress anybody. Simple styles suited her far better than any fancy attempts at sophistication and gave her the cool English look that was envied by many Continental women. There was admiration in Claude’s eyes at that moment.
“The tutor comes here, does he?” Tania ignored the compliment to herself, and Claude nodded.
“He teaches him geography and French history, and the rudiments of schooling. He’s a bright little boy, as you have seen. He’ll respond quickly to your English lessons —”
“I haven’t said I’ll give him lessons —” Somehow it was getting away from her. She had the feeling that whatever Claude Girard wanted, Claude Girard got.
“I’m sure you will. Who could refuse Henri?”
It wasn’t Henri he expected her not to refuse. It was as clear as crystal. She made one more objection.
“What of his tutor? He won’t take kindly to an English woman taking over some of his duties!”
“He’s paid to do as he’s asked,” Claude said calmly. “The Girards are a generous family. We expect the best and we get it. I want you, Tania. If it pleases you to have it all arranged on a business level, then you too will be paid for teaching Henri English.”
It was ludicrous. A week ago, she had been perfectly happy working in London. Now this man had bought her time away from the company and was offering her more payment in teaching his handicapped nephew, as well as letting her share his lovely home while she gave him background information on her brother for his book. She rebelled at the smooth assumption that he could buy anything he wanted. She wasn’t being bought.
“I don’t want payment, thank you. It will be my pleasure to give Henri some English lessons while I am here. After that, I’ve no doubt you can find him an English teacher if Monsieur de Lyons isn’t competent enough.”
Her frigid tone did nothing to irritate Claude. Instead as he came across the room to her, his large frame suddenly filling the space between them, she saw that he was laughing at her.
“My prim little Tania,” he said softly, as he reached her. “You have the Englishwoman’s knack of creating an untouchable shell around yourself, quicker than blinking. It is even more intriguing when everything else about you gives the impression of the very opposite. All my instincts tell me that beneath that icy exterior beats a very warm and loving heart. It only waits for the right man to awaken you.”
Tania hoped that he couldn’t see how her heart was beating very fast right at that minute. Claude’s voice was very seductive when it was lowered, and it unnerved her to have this instant character-analysis made of her. She felt exposed to him, and she didn’t altogether like the feeling. All those years when she and James had been kept apart from each other, and from their parents, she had developed a kind of brittle self-defence. She had never let herself care too much for anyone, keeping male admirers at arm’s length except on a platonic level. She was afraid to let herself fall in love … and until she had met Claude Girard, she had never fully admitted it to herself before. She hated him for making her face herself properly, and for his assured assessment of her. He must have known many women, Tania thought bitterly.
Known them and loved them. And to her mind, such men degraded the very name of love. The woman in her rebelled at mere sexual gratification. Without deep, passionate love, it was meaningless. Tania swallowed, as the words burned into her mind. Why should she care if Claude Girard had loved and seduced a thousand woman! It was nothing to her, nothing at all.
“I would much rather we kept our minds on business,” she said abruptly. She caught her breath as Claude put his hands on her shoulders. His fingers moved very gently, as if to remind her by his caressing movements that by his very maleness he could bend her to his will whenever he chose. She fought not to react, holding her whole body in check, and only succeeding in telling him by her tenseness that she was far from being unaware of him. He looked searchingly into her amber eyes, as if seeking the answer to a question not yet spoken.
“Business is such a cold word between you and me, chérie,” he said finally. “Between a man and a woman is all the glory of the universe, and my cold little Tania speaks only of business! No Frenchwoman would be so heartless!”
She felt her cheeks burn. Was he trying to tell her any other woman would have fallen into his bed by now? Tania tried to think logically, though it was difficult to do so when those seductive fingers continued to make their tantalising little explorations of her shoulders and the hollows of her neck. Why didn’t she break away? It was as if she was held in a kind of trance. He’d never asked her to go to bed with him, she reminded herself, almost hysterically, but the only way he hadn’t asked her was with words. Everything else — his eyes, his voice, his entire charismatic animal appeal, from the smouldering, sensual looks, to the broad chest with its covering of hair visible in the open neck of his checked shirt, to the tautly muscled thighs in his light slacks — everything about him told her he wanted to make love to her. Tania ran the tip of her tongue around her dry lips.
She had only met him a week ago. She had seen him on a few occasions, though in reality it seemed as if she had known him far longer. Through James … For all that she had kept Claude’s image strictly out of her consciousness whenever her brother spoke of him or wrote of him or sent newspaper cuttings of him, Tania knew that the knowledge of this man had somehow seeped into her subconsciousness the whole time.
If a stranger asked her questions about him, from somewhere in that wealth of knowledge she had assimilated without knowing it, she could have answered him. It was an uncanny feeling to know it.
“I’m not a Frenchwoman,” she snapped, more disturbed than she would have guessed at the unwanted affinity between them. “And unless you got me here under false pretences, I suggest you show me your study or wherever it is you work, and let’s get some work done.”
Claude pretended to back off. “All right! James was right about you, Tania. You have a bite to you! Very well. We’ll work until lunchtime. After that, Henri and I always swim. The human body is remarkably buoyant in water, even when the muscles are too weak to support it in air. I’m sure you’ll be glad to join us. The afternoon heat is sometimes intense.”
To her relief he let her go. His words evoked a mixture of annoyance and curiosity.
“Do you have a swimming-pool at the château?”
“Of course.” Claude spoke as if everyone did. “We also have a small indoor one for use during the wi
nter. It is important for Henri to have the exercise.”
Obviously, nothing was too good for the child. Tania felt a grudging admiration for Claude for making everything as easy and comfortable as he could for his nephew. She realised she hadn’t seen Monique that morning, and enquired after her.
“Monique owns an exclusive little boutique in Toulouse. She has no need to go there each day, except for her own self-preservation. She has been through a lot in recent years. It’s good for her and Henri to spend some time apart too. They tend to rely too heavily on one another, and each must learn to be self-reliant. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, I do.” It was a completely different kind of self-reliance from her own parents’ dismissal of her and James. Monique could smother Henri by her lavish love, and the child needed to feel capable of doing things for himself. She hadn’t needed to be here very long to realise they were a typically emotional French family.
They left the dining-room just as Madame Girard came back to look for Tania.
“Claude isn’t going to start work with you already, is he? I thought you’d like to look around the château, my dear.”
“Tania wishes to work, Mother,” he told her. “I’ll show her around later. And don’t feel obliged to stay at home from your charity meeting this afternoon. Tania will join Henri and me in the pool.”
Tania didn’t miss the faint relief in Madame’s eyes. She realised that it may sound as if Claude was taking over, but she had to remember too, that his family had their own lives to lead, and she wasn’t there as a normal guest, after all. She couldn’t expect everything to revolve around her. She confirmed Claude’s words quickly, slightly chagrined at doing so, but not really having any other choice.
The sound of a car on the gravel drive meant the arrival of Monsieur de Lyons, Madame told Tania. She hurried away to greet him and to tell him that Henri was ready for him. Tania got a glimpse of a dour-faced, middle-aged man as he approached the château from his car.
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