by Emily March
Control the crash, she told herself, and she turned the wheel just as the truck collided with her bus.
It seemed to happen in slow motion. She fought the wheel to keep the bus on the road, hearing the echo of Johnny Tarantino’s calm instructions all the while. Behind her, boys yelled in fear and panic, but she tuned them out, listing to Johnny talk in her memory. Just when she thought she had won—that she’d managed to keep the bus on the road—the truck that had hit them completed a spin by clipping them again. Momentum carried the school bus onto a bridge.
The front of the bus crashed through the guardrail. Hope felt herself fall forward, and in that instant, for the first time since the initial hit, bone-chilling fear washed through her. She didn’t recall this section of the road. This was a bridge over what?
Wham. Crash. Forward movement came to an abrupt stop. Glass flew. Metal crunched. Hope slammed against the steering wheel, her seat belt and shoulder harness restraining her from falling into the broken windshield. When movement stopped, she hung suspended—cut, scraped, and bleeding—but alive.
Her first thought flashed through her mind. The baby!
Sound that had seemed muffled during the wreck came roaring back. The boys were yelling, cursing, hollering for help. Even as she tried to rouse herself to full awareness of their situation, she heard the most miraculous sound.
Lucca called, “Hope! Hope! Are you okay? Answer me! Hope!”
How in the world? “I’m okay. I’m all right. Boys? Is anyone hurt?”
“We’re okay, Coach,” one of them called. “We’re all okay.”
“Thank you, God,” she prayed as she became aware of flashlight beams and creaking hinges and men’s voices.
She attempted to look behind her and take stock, but she couldn’t see anything past her shoulder. All right, then. Think. The bus sloped downward, so it made sense that the back of the bus hadn’t left the bridge. She saw no water in front of her. They hadn’t landed in a river or creek. Maybe a dry gully only a short drop from the road. Again, she repeated, “Thank God.”
“Hold on, Hope,” Lucca said. “We’re coming. We’re going to help you.”
“Help the boys first. Get them out of the bus.”
“I’m on it,” James Preston called. “Don’t worry.”
Lucca said, “Hope? Are you hurt? Honey? Are you okay?”
She didn’t miss the panic in his voice, so she injected calmness into hers. “I’m fine, Lucca.”
But, was she fine? The seat belt went across her lap. She’d jerked against it hard. Is the baby okay?
Now that the immediacy of the accident was behind her and there were others on the scene to take responsibility for her passengers, Hope was free to focus on what was happening inside her own body. Pain. Soreness. What else? Any cramping? Any fluid between her legs? Dear God in Heaven, don’t let my baby be hurt.
Then, Lucca was beside her. He tested the handle that opened the door. It worked. She saw him—no, his brother, his twin—standing outside. Lucca said, “You made it down okay. Good. Which way will be easier to get her out?”
“This way,” Tony replied. “Hand her to me, bro.”
Lucca maneuvered to plant his feet against the console and dash. Then, tenderly, he touched Hope’s face. “All right, baby. Let’s get you out of here. Ready?”
She saw that fear filled his eyes. “Lucca? Don’t let me fall through the windshield.”
“I won’t let you fall. I’ll never let you fall.” Lucca released the seat belt catch and she slumped into his arms. “Gotcha. It’s good. Now, let’s get out of here.”
Stepping carefully, he moved toward the door where Tony stood reaching inside. Hope felt Tony Romano’s strong arms slip beneath her knees and around her shoulders, and Lucca released her into his brother’s care, then scrambled down beside her. “Here. I’ll take her.”
“I can walk,” Hope said. “Set me down.”
“Are you sure?”
“I think so.”
Carefully, he set her down. “Ankles okay?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Let’s get you up out of this draw.”
It took only a couple of minutes for Hope to climb back onto the road. An ambulance and a sheriff’s department’s Range Rover arrived at the same time. Hope sighed with relief when she heard James Preston say, “We don’t need an ambulance here. The kids are all okay. No cuts or scrapes or anything.”
Zach all but flew out of the sheriff’s vehicle. “What have we got?”
Lucca carried Hope toward the ambulance, saying, “Hope needs medical attention.”
“I could use a hand from someone,” Tony called out, and Hope realized he was still in the gully. “Twisted my knee.”
“Damn,” Lucca muttered as Zach went to help his brother. Standing beside the emergency vehicle, Dr. Rose Anderson gestured for Lucca to place Hope on the stretcher. Speaking softly so that only Rose could hear, he said, “She’s pregnant.”
Rose stopped a moment, considering this new information. Then she nodded. “Okay,” Rose said. “Any pain, Hope?”
She opened her mouth to say no, but she started shaking, trembling like a tree in a gale. Rose called to Zach. “Any other transport needed?”
Zach looked at Tony who shook his head. Following a quick survey of the teens, he said, “We’re good, Rose.”
“Then let’s start back. Lie down, Hope. We’ll get a warm blanket around you.” The doctor and a tech moved her into the ambulance. Lucca started to climb in with her, but Rose placed her palm against his chest. “There’s no room for you back here.”
“I’m coming with her, Rose.”
“Ride up front, Lucca. I’ll take good care of her.”
Lucca hesitated a moment, then nodded. Soon, the ambulance began the drive back to Eternity Springs.
Rose put a blanket around her, but Hope continued to shake, her teeth chattering as she answered the physician’s questions. When she’d collected the information she required, Rose did a quick external exam and said, “We’ll give you a thorough exam when we reach the clinic, Hope, but based on where your bruising is located on your abdomen and in the absence of pain, I am confident that the accident did not hurt your baby. We’ll make sure, but I need you to try and relax, okay? I know it’s hard, and I know you’re scared. I want you to concentrate on deep breathing. You need to get that blood pressure down. Okay?”
Hope’s throat went tight and tears flooded her eyes. Rose gave her hand a comforting pat. “Relax. I will take excellent care of you and your baby. I’m a great doctor.”
Hope nodded, closed her eyes, and tried to relax. Instead, fears, doubts, and concerns came at her like bullets, tearing into her heart, ripping through her soul, messing with her mind. Echoes of her ex-husband’s accusations reverberated through her. As the ambulance began the climb up Sinner’s Prayer Pass, seeds of panic found fertile ground and began to sprout an unthinkable idea.
Lucca waited outside the examining room, angry and unhappy. The doctor wouldn’t let him in Hope’s room during the tests and examination. He wasn’t her husband. He had no right to be there. Hope, curse her, hadn’t asked Dr. Anderson to let him stay.
In fact, Hope hadn’t said anything. She hadn’t even looked him in the eyes.
She must be in shock. It was certainly understandable, and he wasn’t annoyed with her, just the situation. She was his love; this was his baby. He wanted to share his life with her, both the good times and the bad.
He needed to rethink this whole plenty-of-time business. Maybe once this crisis was behind them, he should put his effort into getting a wedding scheduled ASAP. He paced up and down the hallway in front of Hope’s room. Finally, the door opened and Dr. Anderson stepped outside. “Hope gave me permission to speak with you about her condition. She is fine,” she told him. “The baby is fine. She’s eleven weeks along. Almost through with her first trimester.”
“Oh,” he breathed, taking the news like a most welcome pun
ch to the gut. “Oh. Good. That’s wonderful. That’s great news.” He fastened his gaze on the door. “Can I go in now?”
“Yes, but don’t stay long. She needs to rest. I’m going to keep her overnight just for observation.”
“Okay. Thanks, doctor.”
She smiled. “You’re welcome. And congratulations on the baby.”
His smile bloomed slowly and genuinely. This was a first. “Thank you. Um … Rose? No one knows. We haven’t said anything yet.”
“Doctor–patient,” she said. “I’m a vault, Lucca.”
He waited until she walked away, then he opened the door and stepped inside. Hope lay against white sheets dressed in a blue flower-print hospital gown, her head turned toward the window, where, outdoors, the sleet had turned to snow.
“Hey there,” he said, softly.
She didn’t look at him. “How is Tony?”
“Tony?”
“His knee. Is his knee okay?”
Oh. Lucca experienced a twinge of guilt. He hadn’t thought about Tony. “I don’t know. I haven’t checked to see if he’s come in. I’ve been worried about you.”
She closed her eyes. “Go see your brother. Go see your family.”
He crossed to her bed and sat on the foot of it. “I want you to be my family, Hope. I love you.”
She shook her head, slowly at first, then faster and faster and faster. “No, I can’t. I won’t.”
“Hope—”
“Stop it,” she interrupted, meeting his gaze for the first time, the look in her eyes that of a wounded warrior. “Just stop it. I can’t do this, Lucca. I can’t. But you can. You are such a good man. Such a smart man. The driving lesson … I knew what to do. I thought I knew before the lesson, but I didn’t. No telling what would have happened if I hadn’t had Johnny Tarantino’s voice murmuring in my ear. We weren’t hurt because of you, Lucca. You saved the team and me and this baby. You are a wonderful man and you will make a wonderful father.”
Okay. Why did he feel like another shoe was about to drop?
Because it was.
“I can’t do this. I can’t be responsible for destroying another child. I won’t do it. I won’t be part of this baby’s life. I know I must be for the next six months. I will care for him and for myself during the pregnancy, but once he’s born, if you want him, he is yours. I will give this baby to you.”
Lucca froze. “What? What are you talking about? Hope, don’t be ridiculous.”
She stared at him with brown eyes that reflected a timeless universe of misery. “I won’t be this baby’s mother. I won’t do that to him.”
She’d let her ex get to her. And the accident. These weren’t her true feelings. She’s overwrought. “You’re distraught. Now is not the time for this.”
“It’s the perfect time for this. I want you to leave, Lucca. Leave now and leave me alone. For your sake. You’ll be better off.”
“Dammit, Hope. I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”
She pressed the nurse’s call button, and when a woman answered, said, “I want Mr. Romano to leave my room, and he refuses to go. Will you call security, please?”
Lucca had a thousand pounds of torque in his jaw as he clenched his teeth. He knew she wasn’t thinking straight, but this had been a helluva long day for him, too. She was okay. The baby was okay. He needed a drink.
“Fine. I’m out of here. You call me in June when it’s time for me to pick up my child.”
He whirled around, charged out of her room, and marched down the hall, barreling toward the front door until he almost ran into a woman rushing in. “Lucca?” his mother said, her eyes going wide when she got a good look at his face. She clutched his arm. “What’s wrong? Tony? Is he hurt worse than they said?”
Lucca wanted to be ten years old again. He wanted to climb into her lap and let her hold him and rock him and comfort him.
The dam broke. “She’s pregnant, Mom. Hope is pregnant, and she just told me she doesn’t want anything to do with our baby. She doesn’t want me. She told me she was giving him to me and then walking away. We don’t even know if it’s a boy. She’s not even that far along and she’s making all these decisions. I know she has issues because of the kidnapping, but damn. I love her. Why doesn’t she want us? Why doesn’t she love us?”
Maggie Romano gazed up at her son, her expression filled with compassion and concern. “Oh, Lucca. I’m sure Hope doesn’t mean it. Her emotions must be a jumble right now.”
He didn’t want to hear his mother make excuses for the woman who had just plunged a knife into his heart. Suddenly, he was angry, as angry as he’d been in a very long time. She didn’t want him. She didn’t want to fight for him. For them. She was letting her past rule her present and her future, and he was tired of coming in second to the lost memories of a life she once had. “You know what? It’s okay. I’m done. I have my own demons to battle. If she doesn’t want help, doesn’t want me, well, fine. I’ll be okay without her. The baby and I will be just fine.”
“Now, Lucca, don’t—”
“No, Mom. It’s okay. I’m through fighting this fight. Maybe she’s right. Maybe she doesn’t have what it takes to be a mother.”
“Don’t you dare say that to her,” Maggie said, her tone and expression fierce. “That’s just being stupid.”
“No, I was stupid to believe that she’d believe in me. In us. Her ex said she was damaged goods. Hell, maybe he was right.”
“Lucca!” Maggie gasped. “You do not mean that and you know it. I will not have you talk like that about the mother of my first grandchild. So stop it. Do you hear me? Stop it right now!”
Lucca was too angry to think. He waved a hand, dismissing her reprimand. He didn’t really think Hope was damaged. She was everything he could ever want. She just didn’t want him.
“Don’t you dare dismiss me!”
Something in his mother’s tone brought him up short and cut off his self-pity in an instant. He swallowed, and felt like he was ten years old. “Mom, it’s just not that simple.”
“Of course it is. You love her.”
He did. But what good did that do him? She didn’t love him in return. “Where’s Tony? Let’s go check on him. He hurt his knee again when he climbed down into the draw to help me get Hope out of the bus. I’m responsible.”
“Lucca Ryan Romano,” Maggie said, more than a little exasperation in her tone. “I know about your brother’s injury, and I have a news flash. You are not responsible for everything that happens in this world.”
He scowled at the Christmas tree decorated with inflated latex gloves. Did no one in this town have normal tree decorations? “I’m responsible for what’s happened here tonight, Mom.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” She lifted her arms and cupped his face in her palms. She stared deeply into his eyes for a long moment, then gave his cheek a gentle slap. “Now, you are going to marry the mother of your baby?”
“Didn’t you hear what I just said? She doesn’t want us.”
“Oh, bull. If you believe that then maybe you don’t deserve her. Since when do you give up with time still on the clock?”
“I don’t know what to think, Mom. I’m angry. She makes it look like she has her stuff together, but that’s all a big act. Maybe she’ll never be able to get past what happened to her daughter. I don’t know that I want to beat my head against that wall for the rest of my life. Maybe I should say fine, I’ll raise the baby myself and Hope can spend her life being lonely and afraid.”
“Now, son.”
Lucca closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “It’s been a helluva day.”
“Then go on home. A walk in the snow will do you good.”
“I think I’ll do that.” Lucca gave her a hug, then hesitated, “How bad is Tony’s knee?”
“I don’t know yet. Zach said it was swollen and painful to walk on. Let’s hope it’s just a sprain and he didn’t tear something again.”
“I should stay, in case he
needs my help getting home.”
“Not necessary. Gabi is already here, and Zach is on his way. You go on home.”
He ground his molars and cast a glance down the hallway toward Hope’s room, then turned and walked away.
The minute he was out of sight, Maggie pumped her fist. Finally. A grandbaby!
She decided Tony and his leg could wait. Breezing down the hallway, she paused at the nurse’s station and asked for Hope’s room. She knocked lightly, then stuck her head inside. “Hope? I saw Lucca as he left the hospital. He told me you were here. Mind a little company?”
“Oh, Maggie.” Tears streaming down her face, Hope looked at her and said, “I miss my mother.”
“Oh, sweetheart, I know you do.” Maggie went to her and gathered her in her arms. “It’s a crying shame that you lost her so young, but never forget that a mother’s hug lasts a lifetime, long after she lets you go.”
Hope rested her head against Maggie’s breast. In a little voice, she asked, “Did Lucca tell you?”
“About the baby, you mean? Yes, he told me.”
“He’s angry.”
“He’s hurting. But then you are hurting, as well, aren’t you?”
“I can’t do it, Maggie. I know you’ll probably hate me, too, but I simply cannot go through this again.”
“I don’t hate you. Don’t be silly.” Maggie stroked Hope’s hair gently, offering silent comfort. “I think you have one of the most loving hearts I’ve ever run across. The change you have brought about in Lucca … for that, I will be forever grateful.”
“He will be a good father.”
“He will be an excellent father.” Maggie tilted Hope’s chin up so that she could look into her eyes. “And you are an awesome mother.”
New tears swelled and overflowed. “How can you say that? I lost one baby and now I’m giving the other away.”
Maggie’s heartfelt sigh drifted across the hospital room. “I have some experience with this. I don’t regret my decision to give up Zach for adoption. It was the best thing I could do for him. That’s my advice to you, love. Put your child’s needs first and you won’t go wrong.”