Relenting, she allowed Tao to lead her inside, but she didn’t go into the living area to relax the way everybody was advising her to. No, she went straight back to the kitchen and over to the onions to continue dicing them. Grace opened her mouth as though to object, but a warning look from Taryn kept her quiet. Taryn didn’t want to relax, didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts and her anger, she just wanted a distraction.
The entire time that she and Grace had been working on the evening meal, Marcus and Trick had been speaking to every member of the pack trying to establish each person’s whereabouts over the past few hours. Cam, Rhett and Brock were the only ones who didn’t have alibis for their story, Marcus informed her as they ate the evening meal. Of course everyone was straining to listen to their conversation and she got the feeling that that was the whole idea, that the guys were closely monitoring the expressions of the others as Marcus told her everything they knew. Taryn still wasn’t convinced that Selma didn’t have something to do with it, but apparently Kirk and Hope stated that she had been with them the whole time. She wouldn’t put it past Kirk and Hope to lie for her though.
It wasn’t a surprise that in spite of how Trey had to sense how much her wolf was craving comfort from her mate, he barely spoke to her through the evening meal, let alone touched her. Nor was it a surprise that she went to bed alone or that he didn’t lay beside her when he finally did join her. But it still burned. Not just in a physical sense, but in an emotional sense. She hated herself for that. Her and him, in fact.
Instead of the burning easing over the next few days as she resigned herself to the way her mating with Trey was going to be, it only worsened. It wasn’t just because of her wolf’s hunger for contact with her mate. Taryn the woman wanted Trey the man which made absolutely no sense given that they barely interacted or touched. But when they did interact and they did touch…Ah, hell.
None of this was good. Not a damn thing about this mating – other than her having escaped Roscoe – was good, but she wouldn’t back out on a deal. That wasn’t who Taryn was. It wasn’t like she had anywhere to go even if she did leave. Her uncle still hadn’t gotten back to her, if he even intended to.
And so the burning stayed and worsened as more days and nights passed with absolutely no change. Sure there had been moments where she had been tempted to just jump on him and be done with it, but she didn’t want scraps and neither did her wolf.
It was extremely annoying that Trey didn’t appear to be going through the same struggle but she ignored that annoyance, she ignored her urges, she ignored her wolf’s pining and she continued on as usual. But then one really shitty day came a few weeks later and she was seriously at risk of exploding with it all…the anniversary of her deceased mother’s birthday.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Trey jumped to his feet as the door to his office suddenly burst open. Thinking that there must be some sort of emergency – and feeling a spike of fear that something might have happened to Taryn – he walked around the desk toward where Dante, Marcus and Trick stood, scowling. His wolf had snapped to alertness and was pacing within him.
“What the hell did you do?” demanded Marcus.
Surprised by not only the question but Marcus’ insubordinate behaviour, Trey frowned. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Taryn. What did you do to her?”
His wolf went still. “What about Taryn?”
“You’ve been holed up in here all morning so you wouldn’t be aware that she’s got the personality of a zombie right now. We can barely get any conversation out of her. She’s not even responding to Greta’s taunts – just looks through her like she’s not even there. That’s not Taryn.”
No, it wasn’t and he had the sudden urge to go see her and find out what was wrong. Instead, he simply shrugged. “She seemed kind of quiet earlier but other than that…”
“Yeah? Well now she’s really quiet. As in mute. That’s when she’s not telling us to get out of her way while she cleans every room.”
“Cleaning?”
“Like Mary Poppins on crack. You know the way women do that fast-forward cleaning when they’re pissed off.”
“It’s not just that,” said Trick, looking more worried than agitated. “It’s like, I don’t know…like one wrong word would break her. I’m not sure if she’s angry or just trying to distract herself from something.”
“What did you do to her?” repeated Marcus. “What did you say to her?”
“Maybe it’s what he hasn’t done or said,” said Dante as he folded his arms across his broad chest.
Trey glared at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You don’t talk to her, Trey. In fact, you don’t bother with her at all. You claimed her, brought her here, solidified the mating, and then handed her safety over to Tao. Look, I get that this is only supposed to be a temporary thing and so there’s no need for you both to build a bond, but it’s more than that Trey. You purposely avoid her. You never touch her – don’t try to tell me that’s not driving your wolf crazy. And unless my hearing’s suddenly gone to shit, you’re not sleeping with her either.”
“That’s none of your business,” snapped Trey.
Dante held up a placating hand. “With all due respect, this is our business because you’re our Alpha male and, whether it’s temporary or not, she’s our Alpha female. Your relationship affects the rest of the pack. And we like her, we respect her, it’s in our nature to protect our females. Right now, there’s something wrong with Taryn and you need to do something.”
“You know, I hear you all whining but look who’s not here. Taryn. If she had a problem with me, I’d know about it. If her wolf was riding her too hard she’d have come to me whether she wanted to or not.”
Dante laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Is that what you think? She’s not like the women you’re used to, Trey. She’s an alpha. Her wolf’s probably going just as crazy as yours is, but neither Taryn nor her wolf will ever come to you begging for some attention. Not ever.”
“Maybe this isn’t about you,” said Trick, “maybe it’s something else eating at her, we don’t know. We’re worried about her and thought you might have some luck reaching her.”
The urge to find her was fierce now, but again Trey shrugged. “She could be just having a rough day -”
“Christ, Trey,” interrupted Dante. “She was there for you when you were in a bad state. She reached you while your wolf was feral, and you’re going to ignore this?” He waved his hand dismissively at Trey and headed for the door. “Forget it. Hide some more, whatever.”
Looking both disappointed and disgusted, the three males walked out of his office and left Trey alone with his thoughts, thoughts that revolved around Taryn. He had noticed that she seemed off – her odd mood had unnerved his wolf and had him clawing at Trey, wanting to get to her. But, as always, Trey had acted against his wolf’s wishes and his own instincts and simply shrugged off his concern.
He wanted to do the same thing again now, but one thing was stopping him; as he had reached out through the pack link to sense her emotions, he’d hit a wall. She had somehow erected a big enough barrier around her that her own mate couldn’t reach her. A person didn’t do that unless a strong emotion was eating at them and they were trying desperately to hold themselves together.
With a determined stride he strolled out of the office and made his way to the living area where the majority of the noise was coming from. The fact that her scent was stronger the closer he got told him that that was where she was.
He entered the room. And stopped dead in his tracks. Across the room was Taryn balancing on one of the dining chairs as she used a feather duster to tackle non-existent cobwebs. But it wasn’t Taryn. Taryn was life and fire and sensuality and adorable sarcasm. She was not quiet or expressionless or withdrawn or robotic.
Most of the pack, even Greta, were gathered in the room on the sofa facing the T.V., but all
eyes were fixed on Taryn. And all, even Greta, appeared concerned. So concerned that they only spared him a brief glance before turning their attention back to her.
Slowly he covered the space between them until he was beside the chair she was balanced on. She didn’t look at him. But she wasn’t ignoring him, he quickly realized. She was simply elsewhere in her mind. “Taryn?” he said softly. “Taryn, baby…you okay?” She double-blinked as if snapping out of a daze and then peered down at him. “Everything okay?” he asked again, really not liking the vacant look on her face.
Taryn nodded. “Fine.” Why, of all the times, did he want to speak to her now – now when the last person she needed to be around was him? The answer instantly came to her: Because someone had sent for him – if they hadn’t, he wouldn’t have bothered with her.
She went back to her dusting and Trey realized he had just been dismissed. “Come on, baby, come down from there.” No response. “I think we can safely say there isn’t a speck of dust left up there.” Nothing. Not even a sarcastic comment. His wolf was pacing again, not liking that she was obviously hurting. “How about you get down and we’ll go get a cup of coffee.”
Taryn wanted to hit him. Why was he talking to her like she was an insane person having an episode? A better question would be why won’t he just leave? And, as it happened, there was actually plenty of dust up here.
“Taryn, how -”
“Don’t you have something to do in your office?”
Trey winced. He deserved that, he knew he did. “I’m not moving from this spot until you tell me what’s wrong, baby,” he told her gently.
“Good,” she said as she hopped down from the chair. “That means you’ll be a long way away from me because I’m about to leave the room.” She picked up the chair and carried it through the tunnel toward the kitchen, deliberately ignoring Trey who was trailing behind her. Tao wasn’t far behind him. She returned the chair to the dining table and put the duster back in the cupboard before going to the sink to wash her hands. Noticing there were a few mugs and dishes on the counter, she stacked them into the sink and filled it with hot soapy water.
“What is it, baby? Tell me what’s wrong.”
That was now the fourth time he had called her ‘baby’. Cheeky bastard. If he thought he could block out her existence but then expect her to still confide in him he was seriously mistaken. Taryn would have told him that, but she didn’t want to argue with him, she just wanted him to go back to his hidey hole and leave her to grieve her mother in peace.
Taryn knew that her method of grieving wasn’t normal, that shutting off from the world around you while your body went on autopilot and you disappeared in your thoughts and memories was not good. It was the same state she had slipped into when her mom and Joey were in the accident. Although she had eventually dug her way out of it, she always tended to retreat whenever it was the anniversary of their death or either of their birthdays. It was just how she coped. The only way she could cope without screaming.
But having Trey around her – someone who frustrated and annoyed the hell out of her and had her wolf all messed up – was threatening the stability of her seemingly indifferent state. All that frustration and annoyance that she had been shoving aside was at risk of bursting out of her. If that happened, she would break. She couldn’t afford to do that.
“Come on, leave those and come sit with me.”
Ignoring him in the hope that he would go away, Taryn continued scrubbing the dishes.
“Taryn, you can’t tell me you’re not upset about something.”
Realising he was closer now, she warned in a low voice, “Back off, Trey.”
“Back off?”
“Yes.”
“You want me to back off?” It was one thing when Trey assumed she just didn’t want to talk about whatever it was that was bugging her, but it was another thing altogether for her to want to freeze him out.
“Yes, I want you to leave me alone. It shouldn’t be too hard. You do it easily enough any other time.”
“Is that what this is about? You’re mad at me for not spending time with you?”
A short humorless laugh escaped her. “Yes because the world revolves around you.”
“Then what is it?”
“Like I said, just back off.”
“I won’t back off. Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”
Deep breaths, she told herself. And those deep breaths actually worked. The tension didn’t leave her body, but it eased a little. Until hands wrapped around her middle as a large body pressed against her back and, making it even worse, he whispered into her ear ‘What’s wrong, baby?’
There was that word again! Something inside her snapped. Abruptly she spun, splashing water everywhere. Shocked, Trey jumped back out of the way. “Didn’t I tell you to back off? I’m pretty sure that’s what I said.”
He held his hands up in a calming gesture. “Taryn -”
“Just stay away from me. That’s all I’m asking you to do. It’s something you do every single fucking day so why on this one day that I really need a little alone time am I suddenly of interest to you?!”
“I just want to know what’s wrong.”
“Well that’s tough shit, psycho boy, because I don’t want to talk to you!” Seeing that people were starting to gather was only making her worse. She suddenly felt like a cornered animal, like everyone was taking up her breathing space. Growling, she wiped her hands on the hand towel and then stalked toward the door. The crowd quickly parted, apparently not daring to intervene.
“Where’re you going?”
“Away from you!”
Trey jogged down the tunnel after her. “Oh no, you don’t get to shut me out like this. You’re my mate.”
She pivoted on the spot. “No, I’m not.”
“What did you just say?” he asked softly but in a very dangerous tone.
“We don’t count as mates if you only act like it when it suits you. But, hey, don’t get me wrong – if putting on act for other people is as far as it goes for you, then that’s fine. But don’t you dare throw that ‘you’re my mate’ shit at me when I won’t do what you want!”
He knew she was right, but the denial was automatic. “You are my mate, Taryn.”
“Is it fun in La La Land? It must be, because you go there a lot.” Out of patience, she spun and began stalking away.
“For God’s sake, Taryn, will you stop walking away from me.” Trey honestly wasn’t sure what happened…He’d reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder and then next thing he knew he was flat on his back on the ground and Taryn was snarling down at him. Damn the woman knew some good moves.
“Back. Off,” she growled. She looked up at the others who were slowly edging toward them, their expressions unsure. “All of you back off! I want to be alone!” Then she was striding out the main door, down the mountain, across the small open field and into the forest.
Many times she had gone on a leisurely walk or a run through here with Tao, but never had she gone as far as she intended to go today. Plenty of times she had heard the sound of the river in the distance, had known it was there and known that one day she would really need to go there for some alone time.
The River Kids – that was what her mom and Joey’s mom had called them. Some kids liked beaches, some kids liked swing parks, and she and Joey had liked rivers. No, they’d loved rivers. Loved the sounds, loved the surrounding wildlife, loved paddling in the shallow water and balancing on old tree branches that crossed the expanse of the river. There was something calming about them, she thought. Right now, she needed to calm the hell down.
On eventually reaching the river she found a bolder to perch herself on and took a deep, cleansing, calming breath. Again and again she filled her lungs with the fresh crispy forest air, letting it relax her. The familiar smells of wet earth and pine made her wolf ease a little within her. It was amazing how a place could relax you even as a barrage of sad memories hit you,
mused Taryn.
A familiar guttural ‘tock’ sound snagged her attention and made her look to the tree beside her. “Hey LJ,” she said around the frog in her throat. Why the bird followed her around sometimes she had no idea, but that had been another thing that she and Joey used to marvel at together – the way birds were so at ease with her, almost attracted to her.
Hey Joe. I know that I shouldn’t always come to you whenever I need to talk to someone, that I should actually try confiding in people who are alive…but they’d be able to tell me to shut up. And in truth, you’re all I have.
As much as I really like these people here – with the exception of a few, including the evil and very senile version of Yoda – I still don’t feel like I can really talk to them. Not even to say ‘hey I miss my mom’. Actually, no, it’s not that I don’t feel like I can talk to them, it’s that I don’t want to start opening up to them and getting too comfortable here. Snort. Not that there’s really much chance of me getting comfortable with psycho boy around.
FERAL SINS (The Phoenix Pack, Book One) Page 18