Selfish and stupid, but I kind of wanted him to have been there for me.
“What I do when I’m not working on your case is none of your business,” he told me, sending me a frown—his usual expression when he talked to me. I was pretty sure Jacob hated me on principle, since I was a kid in his eyes.
That…that really bugged me.
“You don’t have a monopoly on my life,” he added, scowl darkening.
I took another step closer to him, folding my arms across my chest. Felt weird to be standing there in his clothes, but at this point I could not back down. I couldn’t help the fact that I had an attitude. “I think I have the right to know what you were doing there,” I said, standing my ground as best I could, given the fact that I wanted to curl up and sleep.
“You don’t intimidate me, Jaz,” Jacob muttered. “You don’t have a right to know. You should be thanking me, though, because from where I stand, it looks like you would’ve had a really shitty night if it wasn’t for me.”
I already had a shitty night, but he was right. Other, worse things could’ve happened, and then where would I be?
His attitude, however, made me not want to thank him for any of it. His tone, his posture, everything about him was standoffish. Just plain rude. If he thought I’d do a curtsy and fall at his feet for helping me tonight, he was dead wrong.
“I don’t thank jackasses,” I hissed. This guy…no wonder why he was a loner, why he didn’t have a girlfriend. He was infuriatingly annoying.
“I bet you don’t thank anyone.”
“You don’t know anything about me,” I stated, huffing.
“You’re right, I don’t,” he admitted, taking a step towards me. There was less than two feet in between us now, and I could smell his sweat. It was not the worst smell in the world, I hated to admit. “For example, I don’t know why you want me to look into Oliver Fitzpatrick when you fucking live with the guy. So tell me, Jaz, what the fuck is up with that?”
I blinked. How did he…
Well, I did tell him to investigate Ollie, so I supposed it was only a matter of time until he found out I was living under the same roof as him. I just didn’t think it would happen so soon. I didn’t know what to say without telling him the whole story.
I…I didn’t want him to judge me like everyone else in Midpark did. Just because my mom and I didn’t come from money didn’t automatically mean we were stupid or hoes just sleeping around trying to land a good husband. It didn’t make us less than those who lived in Midpark, but that’s how all those other people at the party saw it, I bet. That’s how Brittany viewed me, how Archer did. You didn’t do what they did if you liked the person on the receiving end of the ridicule.
My eyes closed. “I guess you and I have some things to talk about.” When I opened my eyes, I found Jacob stared at me with a level expression. He no longer radiated anger. He looked…almost too intent on me.
He was slow to nod. “Yeah, we do.”
We ended up leaving the workout room. Jacob took off the white wrapping on his knuckles before following me down the hall. We sat on the couch in his living room, and I had to work to keep my sigh to myself. It was nice to sit down on a cushioned seat and not feel the weight of a dozen eyes on you, all waiting for the show.
Tonight…I would never forget what happened tonight, and I would never forgive, either. I wasn’t that sort of girl.
Jacob leaned his forearms on his knees, his head turned and his eyes on me. A cushion sat between us, putting space where there should be. It wasn’t like I wanted to feel his leg brushing against mine or anything. Tonight was the night to get everything in the open, I guessed.
I did my best not to stare at him. It was supremely difficult to look at him and not get lost in how pretty his eyes were, or how he looked damn good sweaty. Who cared about the brusque attitude or the eternal five o’clock shadow or the bags hanging under his eyes? He was an attractive man all the same…and I’d thrown up on his shoes and begged him to help me take off my dress.
Oh, God. If I wasn’t fuming inwardly at how shitty tonight was, I’d be totally embarrassed about all of that.
“My mom and I live with Oliver,” I broke the silence of the apartment, unable to take the heaviness in his stare. I instead watched the coffee table before the couch, wishing it would sprout legs and run away; at least then the attention would be off me. “My mom got a job as his maid. He’s always at work, doesn’t have time to cook or clean or even do his own laundry.”
Jacob listened to me, reclining back on the couch with his knees spread. “Go on. I assume there’s more.”
I wasn’t sure what more he wanted me to say. Sighing, I added, “I know he was married to Astrid Chambers, and I know all about Celeste. But his sons, Celeste, Astrid…they’re all gone. And even his first wife, I couldn’t look back and see an obituary, even though he has her ashes—”
“Astrid’s not there anymore?” Jacob cut in, interrupting me. He wore a curious, concerned expression.
“No. She’s just…gone. I was wondering if maybe she and Celeste went away to avoid the public eye, but then what about his sons? What about his first wife? I just feel like he’s hiding something, and I want to make sure my mom is safe.”
“And you,” he said.
“Right,” I said. “Me, too.” In actuality, I was more concerned with my mom, but I supposed that was neither here nor there. He didn’t need to know that.
Jacob ran a hand over his cheek, rubbing his chin in thought. He almost looked like he knew something, like there was something he wanted to tell me—or maybe that was just me hoping he’d have all the answers for me right now. It would mean I wouldn’t have to pay him more. The other extra cash that I’d tucked away under my bed I’d saved for…something. A rainy day. A time when Mom and I needed it. I really didn’t want to spend it all on Jacob.
“What about the Scotts?” he asked. “Why do you want me to look into them? They’re a very old, very powerful family around here.”
I knew what he was trying to say without outright saying it: he could get into a lot of trouble looking into the Scotts. Would he upcharge me? Would he demand more money? Fuck. This was a game I didn’t know how to play; it wasn’t like I was born knowing chess. This was confusing, and I supposed having enough money to wipe my ass with it every night would help. Alas, I didn’t have that kind of money, and I didn’t know the machinations of the rich.
There was no point in hiding anything from him. He knew I lived with Ollie, knew I didn’t feel safe in the house. Why not go all out? “Oliver threw a fundraiser—” I paused as Jacob nodded, as if he was familiar with it. “—and two of the Scotts came over. I was upstairs, keeping myself away because I wasn’t allowed downstairs, and I heard them go into Oliver’s office.” The memory was alight in my head, and I could picture it perfectly. “I couldn’t hear exactly what they were talking about, but it sounded like…”
“Like what?”
I met his hazel stare, feeling a strange sensation in my gut. A warm, fluttering feeling. His eyes really were pretty. “Like they were involved in something shady.”
“So you hired me because something doesn’t feel right to you? Let me clue you into something about Midpark. Nothing is right around here. Everyone does shitty things—you should’ve learned that yourself tonight.”
Lecturing me, patronizing me. I shot him a frown. “Just because everyone does shitty things doesn’t mean I should be okay with it and go along with it. If my mom and I aren’t safe here, we’re moving.”
He let out a laugh. “Kids don’t usually have a say in what the family does.”
I wanted to punch him, but I held back, somehow. “I’m not a kid.”
“That’s what you keep saying, but I’m not convinced.”
I let out an annoyed grunt. “What the hell do I have to do to make you realize it? You don’t know who I am or where I came from. You don’t know that I had to give everything up practically the moment I t
urned eighteen. Do you know any kid who’s willing to give up all social media because their mom told them to? Do you know any kid who’s willing to change numbers and forget their friends? You don’t know a thing about me, Jacob. Not a thing.”
Jacob was silent for a while, staring at me, studying me. I wasn’t stupid enough to believe he was appraising me in a new light, but maybe he could realize that I was not a kid. He wasn’t dealing with someone who didn’t know how the world worked. I’d given things up, given people up, sacrificed all because my mom told me we were moving. I was the only one my mom had. If I’d have told her no and stayed, she would have no one.
His gaze dropped to my chin, but then he turned his head, broodingly staring off into the distance as he muttered, “You don’t seem like the typical Midpark brat. I knew it the first moment I saw you, I just didn’t know why. Hiring me, wanting the truth…” Jacob’s hazel stare was back on me, the intensity in his expression back as well, tenfold. “You might not like what I find, Jaz. You might regret contacting me.”
“If you’re worried I’m going to back out, don’t,” I told him, blatant. “It isn’t like I’m going to change my mind and want the money back.”
“Good, because there’s a no-refund policy.”
“I never assumed differently.” My stomach chose that moment to growl, loud enough for both of us to hear. Great. I was literally just telling Jacob I wasn’t a kid, and then my stomach had to go and proclaim it.
Granted, I didn’t eat dinner tonight, which was probably why whatever was in my drink had hit me so hard and fast, but still. You didn’t stomp your foot and say you weren’t a kid, and then moments later let your stomach grumble in need of a cookie or a snack.
“You’re hungry.” Jacob’s gaze fell to my stomach. Thank God I no longer wore that dress, so it wasn’t like he could see anything. My full figure was hidden behind the fabric of his clothes, his baggy shirt and his sweatpants that were the very opposite of form-fitting.
“No, I’m not.” I said it quickly, without thinking. Obviously I was, though. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Only someone with ears.
He heaved himself to his feet, shuffling towards the kitchen on the opposite end of the long room. The kitchen and living room were pretty much one giant room. “I don’t have much, but…I can see about making you something.”
“That’s okay,” I said, not wanting to be in his debt any more than I already was. Him feeding me tonight would only be the cherry on top of the cake. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine.”
Jacob would not take no for an answer, though. I watched from the couch as he peeked in his fridge, moved a few things around—beer bottles, from what it sounded like. He really didn’t have to make me anything. Hell, just knowing the teeny bit I did about him, I doubted he was a good cook anyways. He probably got Chinese takeout every night and then spent half of the hours he should be sleeping in that workout room.
I decided to wait in silence, more curious than annoyed now. What would Jacob Hall make me for dinner? If you could call this dinner. It was pretty late now—I never told my mom what time I’d be coming home. I really should text her.
Jacob had my phone. Right. I’d given it to him when he’d miraculously come to save me from my Mean Girls tormentors.
Getting to my feet, I asked, “Where’s my phone?”
Jacob was near the stove, and he tossed a look over his shoulder at me. “It’s in my room. If you wait a minute, I’ll get it.”
I waved him off. My body might not feel great, but I could move better now. My guess was, my phone was still in the pants he’d been wearing earlier. I headed down the hall, turning in his room. It wasn’t like I planned on snooping or anything, just grabbing my phone. Getting what I needed.
His room was nothing spectacular. The bed wasn’t made, and by the look of the pillows on it, he slept smackdab in the center, all sprawled out. Wooden boards with deer painted on them adorned the walls, and for a moment I had to pause to take it all in. It was not the kind of room I’d expect to see anywhere in Midpark.
I didn’t belong here, but I was starting to think Jacob didn’t, either.
The pants Jacob had been wearing earlier sat on the floor near his dresser, and I went for them without thinking. The moment I knelt down, the world started to sway without me. I didn’t know if it was the act of me sinking to my knees or if I was still being affected by whatever had been in my drink. Either way, I had to stop moving.
I heard Jacob’s heavy footsteps in the hall, his voice gruff as he said, “I told you I’d—” The moment Jacob came into his room and saw me, he stopped. He probably would’ve said something insulting, but I was too focused on trying to make the world stop acting so unlevel and wild.
Ugh. My head. It really, really hurt.
My face must’ve given away what I felt inside, for Jacob fell to his knees beside me. “What’s wrong? You don’t feel good? Come on, let’s get you off the floor.” His hands went to grip my elbows, and with a steadiness I was not currently capable of, he helped me up.
For someone who acted like they couldn’t care less, he seemed awfully concerned about me. I wasn’t sure how to take it.
He helped me stand and moved us backward to the bed, sitting me at the edge of it. The bedframe had no headboard or baseboard, just the simplest metal casing under the box spring and enough wood to stop the mattress from sliding off.
His hands curled around my arms perhaps a bit too tight, and I met his hazel eyes. Just like that, the world stopped spinning. Whatever nauseous feeling had taken over me mere moments ago vanished into thin air. Being this close to him, it would be impossible to not notice how handsome he was under the gruffness of his personality. His chin was square, his jaw wide. He was a rugged man, a man with problems of his own, but one who’d take the time to help me, even though he didn’t have to.
What was he playing at, here? Was he hoping to win me over and get a little extra thanks from me, or was he simply trying to protect his investor? I was a client of his, and without me alive and intact, there would be no future payments for him.
“The next time I tell you that I’ll do something, let me do it,” Jacob frowned out, finally releasing his hold on my arms. He went to the pants on the floor, picking them up and searching the pockets, stopping when he pulled out my phone and handed it to me. When I took my phone from him, my fingertips brushed his, and our eyes met.
Our eyes met, and then—stupid me—my gaze dropped to his lips. My mind immediately wandered. What would a kiss from Jacob Hall be like? Would it be rough and wild, akin to his appearance and his demeanor, or would it be soft and sweet, a surprising kind of kiss?
I shouldn’t be wondering about his kisses at all. Now was literally the worst time to think about kisses, especially Jacob’s kisses.
Jacob immediately gave his back to me, though he didn’t leave the room entirely. “Are you well enough to go back into the living room, or are you deciding to rest in my room?”
Being in Jacob’s room felt a little…strange. I shouldn’t know what his bed felt like. Hell, after what happened with Archer, sex and all that should be the last thing on my mind.
“I’ll come out,” I said, getting to my feet. I followed him out of his room, heading to the couch with my phone in my hand. I wasn’t going to text my mom right now, but it just felt good having it near. Was not going to tell her where I was or who I was with—because then I’d have to explain everything to her, which I bet would only upset her—but only that I was safe. Mom and I didn’t exactly part on great terms earlier.
My mind recalled what she’d said, that I looked like him. My dad.
I looked like my dad. Just as well, because I sure as shit didn’t look like Mom. Mom had the pretty blonde hair and blue eyes, while mine were the opposite. Black and brown, thick and unruly. Even my skin was a few shades darker than hers, but she was like a ghost, never getting a tan, even in the best of summers.
My mom li
ed. There was no father on my birth certificate because she’d claimed to not know who he was, but now I knew that was a lie. A fib I so willingly believed all my life, because why would my mom lie to me about something like that? Did she not want my dad to be a part of my life?
I didn’t know what to think of that, but I knew I was a bit miffed at it.
“Dinner is served,” Jacob spoke, interrupting my roaming thoughts as he set a plate on the small coffee table before me.
I snapped back into reality, noting that he’d made me…a hot dog. Just a hot dog. Not even in a bun, no ketchup, no anything else. Not exactly what I expected, but then again, I wasn’t sure what the hell I expected. He was clearly no chef.
And then, in spite of myself, in spite of everything that had happened tonight, I started to laugh. I laughed at the hot dog, at the state of my life, at everything, really. I laughed like I’d never seen something funnier. I laughed like I’d never laughed before.
Jacob stood near me, folding his arms over his chest, as if my laughter insulted his immaculate cooking skills. After all, he’d slaved over that stove, frying up this hot dog for me.
“I’m not laughing at you,” I told him, grinning as I leaned forward and plucked the hot dog off the plate. It was, to his credit, a perfectly-cooked hot dog. No parts browner and more fried than the rest. It was all an even color, warm to the touch. “I’m not. I love hot dogs. I haven’t had one since…” I trailed off, the smile fading on my face. “Since before we moved here.” I took a bite, chewing it softly, slowly, swallowing it as I watched Jacob unfold his arms and sit beside me.
And I meant beside me as in right next to me, no extra cushion between us.
This guy better be careful—or maybe I should be careful. With how willy-nilly I threw around my feelings, you’d think I’d have learned my lesson when it came to guys with handsome faces and secrets of their own.
Feisty: A High School Bully Romance (Midpark High Book 1) Page 19