by Lisa Heaton
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just easy to be so excited over the next milestone that you forget to enjoy the moment they’re in. Like, you can’t wait for them to roll over and crawl and walk. You just keep waiting for the next thing. I’m going to slow it all down and live in every moment with him, starting now. This next two weeks, I just want to enjoy what if feels like for him to tumble around inside of me. I’m not wishing even one day away.”
“I’ll hold on to every moment with you.” He pulled her closer and kissed her. “I won’t wish away even one minute of our lives together.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Josh sat next to Sophie while a nurse examined her. She had been having mild contractions throughout the night, but it wasn’t until dawn that they became strong enough for her to say they should leave for the hospital.
He had called Chloe and both of their moms. When his mom never mentioned his dad, Josh didn’t either and knew he wouldn’t be coming.
“Looks like we’ll be having a baby today,” the nurse said.
Josh covered his face and drew in a sharp breath.
When they were alone, Sophie said, “You okay?”
“Barely.”
“Why barely?”
“I’m scared.” He moved to sit on the side of the bed. “What if something were to happen to you?”
“Nothing’s going to happen to me.”
“Bad things happen.”
“Not today.”
Her expression settled his fears only slightly.
“So what happens next?” he said.
“Now, we wait. It’ll be a long day, they’ll be in and out checking on me, so we just settle in and take it as it comes.”
He looked at the machine that was monitoring contractions. “Are you hurting?”
“Not yet, not the real hurting.”
Josh closed his eyes and bowed his head. “I won’t be able to take it.”
She laughed. “Me either. I’m too old for this. I’ll have the epidural.”
He looked back at her. “Good. I want this as easy on you as possible.”
“Finally!” Chloe said as she burst through the door. “I’m ready to see this kid.”
“Me too,” Sophie said.
Chloe sat on the other side of the bed and the two talked. Josh watched them, as amazed as ever at how alike they were. More than their looks, their mannerisms and even their facial expressions were almost exactly alike. He hadn’t noticed as much until they had all lived together.
An hour passed, then two. His mother arrived first and then Sophie’s. The four of them would be in the room when Jet was born. Sophie’s dad would wait down the hall until the worst was over.
Josh spent some time there with him talking about crabgrass and how Ed might get rid of a mole that was disrupting his lawn.
“Have you ever used mole traps?” Ed said.
“I have.”
“Should I start there?”
“Yeah.”
Josh answered additional questions without much consideration. Rather than actually tuning in to the conversation, his thoughts were scattered. He mostly thought of Sophie and what was to come. A few times, though, his dad crossed his mind. If only his dad could be more like Ed, things between them would be so much different.
After a while Josh went back to the room. The women all talked, but he just sat next to Sophie, holding her hand and waiting for his son.
The wait seemed endless. Hour after hour they had waited and still she stayed dilated at seven centimeters. Even one more centimeter would be appreciated and feel like forward momentum. The contractions had increased enough that Sophie had asked for the epidural.
Now that she wasn’t feeling the pain as much, Sophie was more relaxed and even a little sleepy since they had a mostly sleepless night. Josh watched her blink with heavy lids.
He sat up and took a closer look at the monitor. “That was a big one.”
Sophie smiled and the women kept on talking.
A nurse arrived to do a routine check, so they all moved toward the head of Sophie’s bed to be out of the way.
The nurse looked up, eyes wider than usual. “Now, that’s progress.”
Josh stood taller. “Is it time?”
“It’s time.”
From then on, the room took on an entirely different atmosphere. People they hadn’t seen before came in and made preparations. The small little bed for Jet was made ready. Soon, Josh thought as the pros prepared for their big game, he would meet his son.
***
Sophie watched Josh as he took it all in. He was more scared for her than anything. That had been their greatest difficulty over the past few weeks. No longer was he worried about Jet; he feared for her. Countless times, late at night, they had lain in bed with him worrying and making her promise she would be okay. His fear over her safety and comfort had been the reason she had decided to have an epidural. If not, if he were to see her cry out as she had done with Chloe, she was sure he would come unraveled. She needed him raveled that day.
In that moment, after their day of waiting, that was the one thought that finally made her cry. Josh’s tender love for her was his greatest weakness and often brought him as much fear and pain as it did happiness.
“Hey,” Josh leaned down and kissed her head. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I just love you, that’s all.”
He moved his lips to her ear. “For just another minute, you’re my whole world.” When he looked back at her, he was smiling. “Thank you for expanding my world.”
The doctor arrived, and the pushing began. Sophie had warned Josh that it could take a long time. It had with Chloe, hours of pain and pushing. Not so with Jet. They seemed to no longer begin when the doctor said his head was crowning. Josh divided his time between holding her hand and watching with Chloe and the moms. All four looked on while crying and laughing and urging Sophie on.
Finally Jet was out, and the nurse took him and laid him on Sophie’s bare chest. Her voice was low when she said, “You’ll have to hold him carefully.”
Sophie looked down at her little goo-covered boy. Josh had come to stand next to her and was crying and talking softly to Jet. He didn’t see what she saw. Jet’s arms and legs were floppy like a little rag doll, his muscle tone weak, so Sophie cradled him next to her. He had a small nose and lower nasal bridge. She recognized the features.
“He’s perfect,” Josh said in a voice so soft she barely heard him.
“Josh –”
“He’s perfect, Soph. Don’t say any other thing but how perfect he is.”
A nurse took Jet to his bed and began to clean him while Josh stood nearby and watched them. Occasionally, he would look back at her and smile.
For the first time Sophie thought to watch Chloe and the moms. They were just as happy as Josh to be watching their little miracle.
When Jet was cleaned up, weighed, and measured, the nurse finally swaddled him in a hospital blanket and handed him to Josh. That was all it took for him to begin to weep and cradle his son to his cheek. Josh kept kissing his cheek and whispering in his ear.
He brought Jet to Sophie and placed him in her arms. “I love him so much,” he said with a wet face and the sweetest smile.
The doctor finished caring for Sophie, and soon the room cleared of hospital personnel.
Josh looked at the others. “Can we have a minute?”
Both moms kissed Jet, then Chloe did too. She looked at her mom with eyes filled with questions.
“He’ll be fine until you come back, big sister,” Sophie said.
She had to believe her mother would explain to Chloe that Jet had Down’s Syndrome.
When they were alone, Josh climbed up in the bed with Sophie. They had a bundled Baby Jet snuggled between them.
“He’s so beautiful,” Josh whispered.
Sophie could see Josh was fighting back tears. “He is,” she said.
Josh kissed Jet�
��s forehead and looked back at Sophie. “We’ll have a few more challenges.”
“We will.”
“We’ve got this, though.”
She smiled. “Yeah, we’ve got this.”
“Are you okay?” he said.
“I am. I’ve considered this and knew no matter what, we would be okay.”
They had asked the doctor to not reveal any disabilities that were discovered unless it was something that would require treatment prior to birth. She had no regrets. Jet was a beautiful and welcomed surprise.
“Me too.” Josh let out a soft sigh. “I’m just so glad he’s here and healthy.”
“Yeah,” she said. “Me too.”
Josh began to cry. “I can’t believe God would trust us this much to give us this little guy.”
She began to cry with him. “I know. He’s perfect for us.” She looked down at a sleeping Jet. “And I think we are perfect for him.”
For a brief time they both just lay there with their new baby. Sophie was tired but way too excited to sleep. Josh’s eyes were heavy, but was likely running on adrenalin as she was.
Soon the room filled again with the grandparents and Chloe. Karen came, and then Justine and Rodney stopped by. The afternoon was filled with company until dinnertime.
Sophie said to Josh, “Why don’t you go with your mom and get something to eat before she goes back to her hotel?”
“No way. I’ll stay here with you. Mom can bring me something back.”
“Chloe is here. Go eat.” She smiled up at him, then glanced at Chloe. “You can bring me some yogurt and a sandwich.”
He looked torn but then seemed to understand that she wanted to talk to Chloe alone.
“Go, babe. I’ll be fine.”
Josh left, so Chloe moved to the chair next to the bed and took Jet from Sophie.
“Will this be hard?” Chloe said.
“Time will tell. We will have to see the extent of his disability.”
They had watched a show together where young adults with Down’s Syndrome led full and happy lives. There was no reason to believe any less for Jet.
“I’ll always be here to help. You know that, right?” Chloe said.
“I do know that.”
“Drake and I don’t plan on having one for a long time. So, we’re here.”
That was the first she had heard that they were waiting. “You’re not waiting because of this?”
“Oh, no. I just don’t want to get started so young. I know it was tough on you giving up all you wanted to do.”
“I don’t have even one regret, not with either of you.”
Sophie looked up to find Bruce standing just inside the doorway.
“Bruce,” she said, “Josh and Kim are downstairs in the cafeteria.”
“I’m not here to see Josh or Kim. I’m here to see my grandson.”
Bruce moved to where Chloe sat. “You must be Chloe.”
She nodded. “I am.”
“I’m your granddad.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“Sorry it’s taken me so long,” he said. “I’m not sure what you’re supposed to call me yet. I guess as the oldest grandkid you get to decide.”
Chloe smiled. “I’ll give it some thought. That’s a pretty big deal.”
“Yeah, I called my granddad Pops, if that’s any help.”
“I like that – Pops.”
Chloe stood so that Bruce could sit. “Here, you take little Jet.”
“Hold on,” Bruce said as he rolled up his sleeves. “I better wash off the world first.”
He went to the sink and washed all the way up to his elbows.
When he sat, Chloe laid Jet in his arms. Then she turned to Sophie. “I’ll head on home now.” She kissed her cheek. “I’ll be here early in the morning.”
“See you then.”
When Sophie turned her attention back to Bruce, she found him sitting there with tears pouring down his face.
“What a little treasure,” Bruce said. “Like looking back in time.”
She wasn’t sure what he meant or if she had even heard him correctly. He whispered all kinds of sweet words to his grandson. The one thing he said clear enough was fishing. Sophie smiled at that.
No matter what he had said, she knew Josh would be touched by seeing this side of his dad. This must have been the man Josh remembered from his childhood.
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” Bruce said without taking his eyes off of Jet.
“I’m sorry you were hurt back then. I promise you I never did anything to encourage the feelings Josh had for me.”
“I believe you. I don’t know that I really blamed you then. It just helped to have someone to be angry at.”
They sat a moment in the quiet, until Bruce said, “Josh said I couldn’t be around your kids.”
Sophie smiled at him. “You can be around my half.”
He nodded. “That’ll work.” He shifted in his seat to see her better. “We’re moving back here. I can’t imagine being nearly two hours away from this boy. Who’ll teach him how to fish?”
“True, he’ll need that.” Sophie said.
“Kim says you’re naming him Jet.”
“Yeah.”
“Not sure where you came up with that, but I’m calling him Frankie.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Josh sat with his mom watching the clock on the wall. They had only been gone a little while, but it felt too long to him. His mom talked as much as she ate.
“Mom, you need to hurry.”
“Go on back up. I’ll be fine.”
“No, I’ll walk you to your car since it’s dark out.”
He hadn’t asked so far but decided it was time. “You called Dad, I guess, told him about Jet?”
“Of course.”
“How did he take it?”
Kim set her sandwich on her plate. “He cried.”
There was a second where Josh tried to process those words. He had never seen his dad cry, not once.
“He cried?”
Tears filled Kim’s eyes. “Yes. He just broke down and started to cry. I never understood anything he said after that.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“How could I? You’ve had a lot to process today.”
“Why would he cry?”
Kim shook her head. “There’s a lot you don’t know about your dad.”
Josh’s phone vibrated.
Chloe: Hey, I’m heading home. Be back in the morn
Josh: U were supposed to stay until I got back
Chloe: It’s okay. Ur dad’s there
“Dad is with Sophie,” Josh said and jumped from his seat.
He bolted from the table and ran toward the exit. All the way to Sophie’s room, he just kept thinking of what he would do if his dad had upset her.
Josh entered the room and froze when he found his dad there in the chair next to Sophie’s bed. He was holding Jet and smiling.
“Dad, what are you doing here?”
“Holding my grandson.”
Josh sat on the bed with Sophie and watched his dad, hardly able to believe this was the same man who was once filled with such anger. His dad cried off and on. At the moment he wasn’t crying. He just sat whispering to Jet.
When Josh’s mom came into the room and leaned down to kiss his dad’s head, the crying began again. Josh looked at Sophie, and she just shrugged.
Jet started to fuss, so Josh said, “I think he needs to be with his mom now.”
Bruce nodded and tried to stand.
“Stay there,” Josh said. He went and took his son from his dad.
When Josh placed Jet into Sophie’s arms, his dad said, “Can we take a walk, son?”
“Sure.” Josh looked at Sophie and she gave him a smile and a nod.
“I’ll be right back,” he said and kissed her cheek. Then he kissed Jet and followed his dad into the hallway.
They walked in silence for a few seconds until Bruce s
aid, “I know what you said about not being around your kids. Sophie said I can hold her half.”
Josh grinned. To see his dad hold his only grandson had taken all the old anger and pain away.
“You can hold my half too.”
Bruce put his arm around Josh’s shoulder. “That’s okay, son. I think your half is the one that poops. I’ll stick with Sophie’s.”
That made Josh laugh out loud.
They went as far as the front door and when Josh saw that his dad was about to walk outside, Josh stopped. “I don’t want to get too far away in case they need me.”
“Just a little farther, son.”
They didn’t speak again until they climbed into the cab of Bruce’s truck. Even once seated and with the doors closed, they remained quiet for a few seconds more.
“I was five when he was born.”
“Who?” Josh said.
“My little brother, Frankie. He was special like your boy.”
“I didn’t know you had a brother.”
Bruce began to cry and wipe his eyes.
“He was the sweetest kid,” he smiled and turned to Josh. “Funny and happy. His tongue stuck out most all the time. He would get a kick out of it when I would say he better watch out or a fly would land on it.”
Josh watched his dad open his console and pull out a napkin to wipe his nose.
“He thought I hung the moon.” Bruce paused and his eyes narrowed. “I wasn’t like other big brothers who didn’t want his kid brother tagging along. I took Frankie everywhere I went. We fished and skipped rocks. All summer long I would take him fishing early every morning. He would sit with his pole eating egg salad.” Bruce nodded. “Man, did that kid love egg salad.
“Never had a taste for it myself,” Bruce said.
“I don’t know that I’ve ever had it.”
“I’ll have your mama make you some like Frankie liked it – with pickle relish on white bread.”
“I’m willing to try it.”
Josh couldn’t remember a sweeter moment with his dad. This wasn’t a man he knew at all.
“Frankie wasn’t afraid to try anything. When I played ball with the boys from the neighborhood, we would let Frankie hit and run the bases. He was so slow we would all just take a little break while he huffed and puffed to make it to home plate.” He sighed. “Everybody loved that kid.”