by Lyssa Cole
I laugh. “I know huh. But he’s been kind of secretive too. Like his phone rings all of the time and he either ignores it or when he finally answers it, he slinks off alone so I can’t hear. And when I ask him about it, he won’t tell me anything.”
“Really? He gives no clue as to who the phone calls are from?”
“No, nothing. Should I worry? What if he is associated with my father?” The last question I ask in a whisper, feeling the panic grip at me again, the ice cold fingers clutching at my throat. I clutch at my necklace, wishing for the panic to go away. I really don’t know what I would do without my necklace, I would be so lost, in my panic, my anxiety, never being able to find my way out.
Alicia knows my whole sordid story. I told her our second drunk night together. Why hide the past? She should know who I truly am. Plus if I get into trouble, she could help and she said she would. I am so glad I found her. She truly is a life saver in this crazy escape of mine.
“No, don’t think like that Maddie. Jax doesn’t seem evil at all.”
I take a deep breath. I hope she’s right. Fuck do I hope she’s right.
“But hey, I know, why don’t we do something fun and sneaky, and ease your mind?” Alicia asks me, her voice full of excitement suddenly.
“What? I don’t think something fun could ease my mind right now.”
Alicia chuckles. “I know babe, but why don’t we try to follow him around? See where he goes? See who this person calling may be? I love doing secret spy shit!”
“Alicia! No way! What if we got caught?”
“So? We will make something up quick. Come on, let’s do it! We both need to have a fun time, and why not use this to our advantage? Besides, I doubt we will find anything, but we will have fun trying!”
“Okay, okay. I guess,” I answer reluctantly.
“See you in an hour!” Alicia answers quickly and hangs up. I guess my night just got a lot more interesting.
***
Alicia and I finally were able to track Jax down. Red flag number one. He’s staying at a hotel. Where the fuck is this apartment he was talking about? Why would he be lying to be about where he is staying?
To recap slightly, we are sitting in a hotel parking lot, a few rows away from Jax’s car. I had text him saying I was going to grab a few drinks with Alicia and would hit him up later. Then Alicia did some super spy trick and was able to track his location through his phone number. Kind of creepy if you ask me. Makes the panic inside me start rolling through again. My father must have tracked me by now.
He doesn’t have my phone number though, that’s my only consolation right now. So as soon as we got the location, we headed over here and sure enough, his car has been parked in this lot. Fury is now beginning to roll through me at the fact that he lied to me about where he was staying.
What the fuck is he playing at? And if he is staying in a hotel, that means he is temporary to this area. Suddenly, I feel like I can’t breathe. The puzzle pieces are clicking together in my head and I want to scream.
Jax must be working for my father. There is no other way around it. Finding me on the internet, seducing me through sex, getting me to trust him. It was all one big fucking ploy.
I grip the sides of my seat, my fingers digging into the fabric. I have to get away; I have to run.
“Maddie. Maddie? Maddie!” Alicia is calling my name but I can’t answer her. Fear has taken a hold and I can’t do anything but stare straight ahead, my mind working overtime. I can’t even move my fingers; they are clutching my necklace so tight. “Listen, Maddie. Listen to me.” Alicia shakes my shoulders, trying to get me to focus on her.
“We don’t know if he works for your father just because he is staying at a hotel. Yes, it seems fishy and yes, he shouldn’t have lied about where he was staying, but there could be a very good explanation. Maybe it’s his job, or something else. At least give him a chance to explain himself, Madds.”
I shake my head, tears slowly slipping down my cheeks. “You don’t understand Alicia,” I choke the words out, barely being able to breathe through the terror inside me, “I don’t have any chances. If I want to live, if I want a chance at a normal life, I have to get the hell out of here, Jax or no Jax.”
Alicia nods. “Let’s go back.”
With that, she takes me home and I never call Jax back.
Chapter 22
Maddie
Jax blew my phone up all night. And now again this morning. Alicia stayed with me, as I was way too nervous to stay by myself, ready to see my father’s men barge in the door any minute. Or worse, him or my brother.
I sit on my bed, staring at my phone, as it rings with Jax’s millionth phone call. “Madds,” Alicia says softly, sadness lining her voice, “Just at least give him a chance to explain.” She reaches over and grasps my hand, giving it a squeeze. “Besides, he has no clue why you are ignoring him right now and that isn’t fair.”
Alicia is right, of course she is right. When the phone rings again, I decide to answer it. “Hello?”
“Maddie? Oh Thank God, I’ve been worried sick. Where have you been?”
I make something up quickly. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t feeling too well so I had been in bed, my phone in my purse in the kitchen. I meant to call you and tell you but I totally forgot…” I trail off, dreading what I have to say.
I take a deep breath, trying to prepare myself for the speech Alicia and I prepped. “Are you feeling better now? Can I come over? I want to see you, Maddie.”
“I need to ask you something first.”
“Sure, go ahead, Maddie, ask me anything.”
Pulling in all the oxygen I can muster, I ask him softly, “Why are you staying in a hotel? I thought you had an apartment here.”
Jax doesn’t say anything for a moment; I must’ve caught him off guard. “Oh, um, my landlord decided to renovate at the last minute so he put me up in a hotel for a little while. How do you even know I am staying at a hotel?”
“Alicia saw you there last night. She was driving past and you were outside, leaning against your car, talking on the phone.” It was a kind of lame story, but the best one we could think of right now.
“Oh. Yeah, work has been a big pain in the fucking ass lately, hence all the phone calls, and why I had to leave so suddenly yesterday. I am so sorry Maddie. Can I come pick you up and take you out to dinner?”
I hesitate, my mind whirling. I don’t know whether to believe him or not. Why wouldn’t he just tell me about his apartment? I know we haven’t revealed everything to each other, but that is something going on right now. I sigh. My heart is pulling me towards him, but my mind is screaming no, seeing red flag signs everywhere. I wish my necklace would give me answers, a sign, anything.
I look over to Alicia and she nods her head yes, telling me to let him come. I sigh. She has no idea what it is really like though. If Jax were to capture me…I shudder at the thought.
I want to trust Jax so much so. He doesn’t seem like a person who would hurt me in any way. I feel so safe and secure with him. But what I have been through is stopping me. My panic, my deep fear, it’s paralyzing, choking me, making me believe things that might not be true.
Fuck, I want to rip my hair out!
Suddenly, I catch my finger on one of the diamond prongs on my mother’s ring, causing my finger to prick, a drop of blood coming to the top. My sign. My mother just gave me my sign.
“Okay, Jax, pick me up in an hour. But we need to talk, get some things straight.”
I hang up before he can answer and turn to Alicia. “Make me look smoking fucking hot.”
***
Jax arrived right on time, Alicia only having left about five minutes before him. His eyes instantly darken when they land on me, and the connection crackles between us. How does this man do that to me? My panties flood with wetness, my belly already a deep pool of desire.
“Wow, Maddie,” Jax gasps, his words coming out in pants. “You look fucking amazing.”
I grin, knowing just how fucking hot I look. Alicia can work magic that girl. I have on a slinky red dress that perfectly hugs every one of my curves, my tits spilling out just enough at the top to give a tease, but not enough to show everything. My hair cascades down my back in long, loose waves, a French braid headband adorning the top, with a red flower behind my right ear. My makeup is dark and smoky, my eyes rich in black and charcoal gray. My lips are painted a deep, sexy red. I almost swooned myself when I looked in the mirror and I knew Jax was going to.
That’s what he gets. He wants to hide things from me? Now he can stare at me all night, looking so fucking hot, driving him wild.
We both just stand there for a few minutes, neither of just saying anything, our eyes locked on each other. Mine ask questions while Jax tries to read mine, search mine. There’s no answers there buddy, you have the answers.
Finally, Jax breaks the silence. “Are you ready to go?” I nod, grabbing my jacket and purse, locking the door behind me. Jax holds his arm out and I take it, as it’s nice to have someone to lean on. I don’t get that very often.
The car ride is pretty silent, Jax holding my hand the entire way, letting me pick the music. The air in the car is thick, almost palpable. Desire, lust, confusion, questions-they all swirl together making it hard to breathe. When we arrive at the restaurant about ten minutes later, I see we have pulled up to a small Italian bistro. My stomach growls. I love Italian food. I haven’t eaten anything all day and I am completely famished.
Jax opens my door, holding his hand out for me. He really is the perfect gentleman, never once being rude to me in all the times we have been together. Always offering his hand, his arm, opening doors. His mother raised him right-chivalry is not dead.
We are led to a table in a dark corner in the back, relief flooding through me. I am glad for some privacy.
After sitting, Jax orders a bottle of wine which I gratefully accept a glass. I need a buzz more than anything right now. I decide just to get right to it. Why waste any more time?
“Jax. I…I…” I sigh, letting my sentence trail off, not sure how to start. I am beyond nervous. “I need you to understand some things about me. As you know, my past wasn’t good. I am scarred from that. So I don’t trust easily. And when you lied to me, or more didn’t tell me about where you were staying, I felt betrayed. It may seem small to you but it is big to me.”
I shrug, hoping he is understanding what I am trying to say. “I guess what I am trying to say is…I’m actually hiding out. From my father and brother. One of the worst crime families in the country. I ran away from them. The awful things they made me do. And I am sure they are looking for me, it’s only a matter of time before they find me.”
Jax doesn’t say anything, his face unreadable as he listens to my story so I continue on, “I won’t be staying here much longer and that’s why I don’t want to get attached to anyone right now. It’s too dangerous. For me and for you. I can’t risk having anyone tie me down or coming with me.” I sigh, suddenly realizing this is going to be so much harder than I thought. “It’s best if we just end things Jax. Call it what you want, a good time, a good friendship, but we can’t continue.” I sigh, my fingers clawing at my ring around my neck, the chain looking more worn than ever.
My face falls as I say that last words but when I look at Jax, he is shaking his head no. “No, Maddie, no. I will protect you.” He leans forward, reaching across the table to grab my hand. “I will go wherever you want go and I will protect you from them. I don’t care if we are running our whole life. I want to be with you Maddie. You make me feel things I have never felt before. Please, Maddie.”
My eyes lock with his and it’s as if all our emotions blend as one, intertwining and twisting with each other as they flow between us. It’s overwhelming, amazing, powerful, and downright cruel. Why is fate doing this to me when I can’t have this man?
I shake my own head no, wanting Jax to understand. “No, you can’t have a life like that, always on the run, affected from my shitty past. It’s not fair to you. I feel the same way about you Jax and because of that I am not going to put you in this position.”
“Maddie, stop it. Stop it right now. You aren’t putting me in any position. I want to be with you and if that means running from your fucked up family, fine, so be it. I would do anything to be with you.”
Our food arrives then; I had forgotten that we had ordered a little bit ago. I don’t know what else to say as it looks like Jax doesn’t want to take no for an answer.
“Let’s eat Maddie, then I am taking you home, and fucking this nonsense right out of you.”
I can’t help but smile as I take a bit into my stuffed shells, the delicious cheeses invading my senses. My mind won’t stop whirling. Do I take what Jax is offering? Do I let him protect me? Save me? Run away with me? I just don’t know what to do, every emotion rushing through me in confusing waves that keep crashing together. I ignore my brain as best I can as I devour my dinner, gulping down way more wine than I should.
Should be an interesting night.
***
We arrive at my apartment about a couple hours later, after sharing another bottle of wine and a delicious dessert of chocolate dipped cannoli’s with chocolate gelato.
The wine has gone to our heads-two bottles between two people is a bit too much. We are stumbling and laughing our way up to my door, Jax hands sliding all over me.
I push him off, trying to find my keys. “Wait, Jax, wait, I need to get the damn door open first,” I say as giggles escape my throat, Jax’s’ skilled hands working me into a stupor.
Just as I turn the lock and flip on the lights, I am yanked inside roughly, my hands tied behind my back in a flash as I am thrown to the ground. I scream for Jax as the darkness hits.
Chapter 23
Maddie
I awake to my father’s voice; hot, searing panic flashing through me. I try to move, to scream, to do anything but I am bound to a chair and gagged. My eyes flail around the room furiously, looking for Jax, until I spot him, sitting on the bed with a gun held to his head by one of my father’s men.
“Oh, look who is awake.” My father’s voice washes over me, instantly making me nauseous. I was hoping I would never hear it again. “It looks like I was finally able to find you. No thanks to Jax here who should’ve had you delivered to me yesterday, but that’s beside the point now.”
White hot anger flashes through me. Did my father just say Jax was supposed to be bringing me back to him? Hurt, betrayal, fury, rage all pulse through me. I knew it. I fucking knew it.
Jax was a bad guy. This was all a fucking set up. And I was the dumb bitch who fell for it all.
“But since Jax here didn’t follow through with his deal, he’s going to have to pay and then you are coming home with me, my precious daughter.” My father turns to face me, his dark eyes evil as hell as they bore into me. He stalks over to me as if I’m his prey, which I wouldn’t even put past him, and leans over me, getting close to my face. “If you ever try to escape again, so help me God, you will be fucking sorry.”
I try to scream, kick, but it’s no use. “Now, now, Maddie,” My father says as he wags his finger at me. “Be a good girl, don’t make this worse for everyone.”
My father turns back to Jax. “Kill him.”
I scream as the gun shot goes off, the next several minutes’ pure chaos. All I see are flashes of movement, chaos happening. Police come in, Alicia following after them, Jax rushing to me as he unties me, the police rushing after my father and his men as they take off. My mind can’t even comprehend all of the events happening around me. It shuts down, it blanks. I stare at the ground not able to move.
My mother’s ring catches my eye, shining up at me beneath my shirt where it hangs low, and suddenly, a new power comes over me. I will not be stopped. Fuck that, I have come too far.
I don’t hesitate any longer. I lock eyes with Alicia sending her a silent message that we had
planned out before if we were to ever been in this type of situation, and then I bolt, never once looking back.
***
Run. Run. Run. The word repeats itself over and over in my head as I force myself to keep going and not look back. I heard Jax scream my name several times but I kept going. I heard the police yelling for me but I kept going. I heard my father scream for me but I kept going.
My defensive wall comes up around me, shrouding me from what is happening around me. I hear the sirens, I see the flashing, I smell the gun powder, I hear the shots. I don’t focus on any of it. I keep running, the only thing in my mind my mother’s gorgeous face, willing me on.
Alicia and I had planned this out months ago. There was no stopping me now. I was going to go to her house and she was going to meet me there with my things after getting rid of Jax. Jax. My heart clenches.
Guilt crushes me; leaving him behind is harder than I thought. I slow down, squatting behind a bush. I need to catch my breath; my heart is racing wildly. Each beat is so painful; I feel as if a knife is slicing through me with each pulse.
My guilt abruptly turns into anger as the thoughts keep rushing through my head. Jax lied to me. He was only interested in me to bring me to my father. Everything was based on a lie.
I should have fucking known. I should have known. That nagging feeling I ignored for my lustful feelings. Never ignore your instincts, hadn’t you learned that by now Maddie? I felt so disappointed with myself, with Jax, with everything.
Tears pour down my face as the truth hits me like a brick wall. My father is going to destroy my entire life, poisoning his way into each and every crevice. I need to get the fuck out of this country fast.
I feel so betrayed as I stand, gulping in oxygen, the sobs racking my body. I thought what Jax and I had was real but it was all a fake. A fucking phony ass bullshit fake pack of lies.
Wiping the tears from my face furiously, I set back off to Alicia’s house. I’m getting on a plane to Europe tomorrow if it kills me.
***