by Lyssa Cole
At least I get some pleasure in eating. After finishing breakfast, I get out my laptop. All of my settings were set to the highest level of privacy per Alicia’s help. I begin to surf for possible jobs.
How am I ever going to find a job in Italy? Thankfully I have a lot of money saved. As I scan the job sites, I keep having to convert to English and I still don’t understand what half these job positions are. After an hour of looking, I slam my laptop shut and decide to wait for Alicia to get here. Then we can venture the streets together.
***
Later on, I call Alicia to see how she is doing, with getting everything ready to move.
She answers on the second ring, sounding a bit breathless, “Hey Hun, how are you?” Alicia smiles down into the phone as she answers.
My mood instantly brightens as soon as I hear her voice. “Um, scared shitless to leave my fucking room and I miss you!” the words tumbling out of my mouth quickly. “It would be so much better if you were here. I am scared to do anything but hide.”
Alicia sighs, her sadness coming through. “I know, and for right now, I want you to stay safe and in your room. As soon as I get there, we will get out of that room. Give me a few more days and I should be ready to be there.”
Without even realizing it, a few hot tears slip down my cheeks and I brush them away quickly. “Okay. This whole thing just fucking sucks. But it’s better than being back at my father’s house, being fucking tortured and played with like a Barbie. I just hate sitting here in fear, praying nothing happens, but so fucking scared something is going to. I don’t even like using my phone or the laptop anymore. And I just can’t stop thinking about him.”
Alicia’s breath hitches, her words spilling out. “Trust me, he can’t stop thinking about you either.”
“What? Really? Did you see him?” I ask, hope blossoming slightly inside me.
Alicia hesitates, seeming like she is unsure if she should tell me or not. I need to know, want to know, have to know. Just to at least make sure he is okay. “Please, Alicia, please just tell me. I know you don’t want to hurt me but it hurts me more not knowing how he is doing. I just want to know that he is okay.”
Her voice is soft, sad, as she tells me she saw Jax the other night, “He came over to my apartment; he even brought peace offerings he called them. Chocolate, wine, flowers. It was really sweet, he’s really sweet, but you know that Maddie. I think he really does love you.”
I can’t stop the tears this time, scalding my cheeks as they slide down, dripping off my chin. “Alicia, I just don’t know if I can trust him…he was working for my father of all people. My fucking heart broke in two when I found out, my world going hazy. These past several days have been amazing. What with meeting you, falling in love with Jax, getting away from the evilness I come from. You and Jax showed me how to live, how to love again. In such a short time, that is the most amazing part. I never expected to meet you. Nor did I ever expect to fall in love with Jax. And now here I am, my heart broke in two because he was working for my father, my trust broken, shattered, gone.”
I hear Alicia crying quietly, causing me to cry harder. She softly chokes out, “Maddie, trust me when I say you will be able to trust Jax again.”
Chapter 26
Maddie
After hanging up with Alicia, I cried myself to sleep. I cried for everything-for my mother her beautiful life cut too short, for my tortuous past, for my father who was an awful person, for myself-my life, having to run away, hide like a criminal, a prisoner trapped inside her scary world, but mostly I cried for Jax and me. A love that just began and now will never get to grow. Never get to be enjoyed but for the briefest of moments. And I cried for Jax-his losses, his family.
When I woke from my unrestful slumber, my sadness had shifted to anger. My disgusting father fucking ruining everything once again. He ruined my mother, my life, now my future. Living in fear, panic, always having to watch my back. What kind of life is that anyway? My sadness ebbed away into anger, hot white anger flashing through me. I stand, pacing the room, my hands balled into fists. I want to hurt him the way he has hurt me; the way he has hurt my beautiful mother that would still be here if it wasn’t for him.
I climb onto the bed and begin punching the pillows, screaming at the same time, angry tears pouring down my face. Nothing is fair, nothing.
Punch after punch, until I can no longer feel my arms, numbness coursing through them. Making my way to the bathroom, I decide to start a warm bath and then order some dinner.
After the tub is full of warm water and soothing bubbles, I let myself soak, trying my fucking hardest to push my stress away. My sadness, my anger. I can’t let them consume me. Stronger, fiercer. I will be better, every hurdle making me tougher.
Maybe I will meet a hot, sexy, dark Italian man who can sweep me off my feet. He would be tall, with dark, olive skin, and gorgeous dark hair, his body ripped…
There’s a knock at the door that stirs me from my lustful thoughts. Fuck. Who could that be? I hadn’t even ordered dinner yet. The knock comes again, harder and louder this time. My heart begins to race, the familiar fear gripping me. I quickly stand, rinsing off the bubbles, and wrapping myself in a towel. I pad over to the door, peeking through the peephole to see who it is.
It’s Jax. How in the hell did he find me?
Alicia of course, who else?
Should I answer it? He knocks again, louder this time. “Maddie?” Jax calls, his voice running over me like sweet honey. Butterflies swarm in my belly instantly, my knees feeling weak just from him saying my voice. Damn, did I miss hearing it that much?
“Maddie, are you in there? Please. I just want to talk. I quit that job, I have no ties to your father.”
I sigh, feeling conflicted. He could be lying. I’ll never know unless I hear him out. “Give me a minute,” I call out, quickly dressing into sweats and a t-shirt. Not sexy in the least, but Jax can deal.
I open the door in a rush, Jax’s eyes instantly locking with mine. My breath hitches, every feeling hitting me hard, causing me to gasp. Every. Single. Feeling. Rushing right back into me, and I have to grasp the door for support. I was almost knocked over from the force.
Jax is handsome as ever, in his jeans and tight t-shirt, leather jacket, and his hair messy, like he hasn’t slept good in a while. Yeah, me either.
Jax speaks first, never moving his eyes from mine, “Maddie, can we just talk?” He holds his hands up in surrender. “I came here straight from the airport, and I just want to talk, please.” His eyes are begging me, forgiveness, regret, remorse-I’m not quite sure-all are pouring from him.
All I can manage is a nod which he quickly accepts, coming into the hotel room, with me shutting and locking the door behind him. He lies his suitcase on the ground and bends down, reaching inside it. Turning around, he now has a gift in his hand.
Jax makes his way back to me, holding the gift out to me. “A peace offering?” He says, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. I take the gift, looking up into his face as he towers over me.
I smile slightly, “A peace offering huh? You like to offer those to women a lot I hear?”
Jax chuckles, a knowing grin crossing his mouth. “Nothing gets past you women, that’s for damn sure.”
I fumble with the box in my hands, looking down at it. I am not sure I am ready to accept this yet. I want to hear him out first, his story, his words.
“Jax, I need you to tell me everything.” I place the box on the table and we make our way to the small seating area next to my bed. He sits in the chair next to mine, leaning forward and clasping my hand between his two big ones.
“Maddie…” Jax begins, his breath catching. “I am so sorry I lied to you. It’s true, I was working for your father, but I had no idea who you were before the job. I had no intentions of having feelings for you. Sure, flirting was going to happen to get you to trust me enough to come with me somewhere so I could bring you back, but I never expected to feel the way I
feel about you, Maddie.”
Jax takes my other hand, holding both of them with his now, in his lap. Being this close to him is heady, confusing for me. I want to kiss him, jump him, but I have to hear what he had to say. “When I first saw your picture, the one your father gave me of you, I knew there was something special about you but I just didn’t know what. Then when I saw your videos, you were just so gorgeous, and we had this instant connection even through the computer, I just couldn’t resist you.”
Jax’s eyes search mine, him looking for my forgiveness, my understanding. He continues on slowly, “I fought it so hard, telling myself to keep it professional, business only. And when we first met, that spark was even stronger, but I still held on. Trying to keep you at a friend’s only area, because I knew if it went further I was done for. But one taste of you, and I was already done for.”
I shake my head, trying to absorb all of his words, his confession. “Then why didn’t you just tell me? Why keep hiding it? You were going to bring me back eventually, is that it?”
“I couldn’t tell you, you would get upset, hurt. I knew my feelings with you were true, that something special from your picture ringing true. If I told you, what would have happened? You would have run.”
I sigh, tears beginning to pool in my eyes, threatening to spill over. “But not telling me is worse, Jax. You broke my trust. You knew how bad my father was, I confessed some things to you, albeit some details. And you couldn’t even have the heart to tell me that you were going to bringing me back to him? Were you ever going to tell me?”
I stand and pace, not understanding Jax. He should’ve told me instead of keeping it a secret. Keeping things, a secret always makes everything worse. Always.
Jax grabs my hand, the touch searing my skin. He pulls me back down on the bed, next to him. He grabs my face in his hands, making me look at him, his thumbs brushing my tears away. “Yes, I would have eventually told you. I don’t know when but I would have. Maddie, I fought you so hard but still could not resist you. I love you and I am sorry we met like this. But believe me when I say this now, I will always love, always protect you, and keep you safe from your family and danger. I promise you with my life. You are mine, Maddie, mine.”
With that, he left me breathless as he seared his lips to mine, crushing his mouth against mine. We both poured our emotion into that kiss, our love, our apologies, our forgiveness, my tiny bud of trust. Everything we could give each other in that kiss, we did.
That kiss will never be forgotten, a perfect moment, a turning point in our journey together.
***
Jax and I lay in bed, our bodies intertwined. We have been making love for hours, ever since our kiss. Dinner was forgotten, the night now breaking into dawn, my stomach rumbling angrily at me.
Jax snakes his arm around my waist, pulling me close. He brushes his lips along the back of my neck, moving his way down my shoulder. “Hungry, gorgeous?”
I smile sleepily, several orgasms making me foggy. “Starving,” I say as Jax licks his way back up towards my ear.
He growls in my ear, pressing his hard length into my back. “Mmm, Jax, I don’t think I can take another round. I lost count after my tenth orgasm.”
Jax chuckles softly against my neck, nuzzling his face in. “There are plenty more orgasms to be had baby.”
I giggle, desire instantly pooling in my belly again, betraying my tired body. “Food, I need food.”
Jax grabs the room service menu and we browse the breakfast choices, wanting to order one of everything. It’s only 5am, the kitchen is going to hate us.
After ordering pancakes, eggs, bacon, and hash browns complete with toast, juice, and coffee, Jax carries me to the shower where he painstakingly washes every inch of my body, being overly attentive.
I lean against the shower stall, my eyes closed, the hot water beating down on me as Jax worships my body, his mouth and hands caressing every inch. His hot mouth trails around my belly as he works his way higher. Stopping to give each of my nipples a suck, he licks up my neck, finally landing on my mouth, devouring mine with his. He bites my bottom lip, wanting entry, and I open slightly, letting him slip his tongue inside.
Our tongues entangle with each other, as Jax wraps his arms around my waist, mine circling his neck, our bodies melting as one. I lose myself in the moment, nothing here but Jax and I.
One of his hands slides down my waist, cupping my ass, then moving to my pussy. He slips inside, running his fingers along the opening, feeling how dripping wet I am for him. I arch my back, a moan coming from deep in my throat.
Two of his fingers go in at once, sliding in quickly, pumping in and out fast. I cling to him, lifting one leg to wrap around his strong waist, his hard firm ass under my foot. He begins to move his hips along with his fingers, his hard cock pressing into my belly. I break from our kiss, needing air, needing to let my cries out.
Suddenly his fingers are gone, and he is untangling me from his body as he begins to slide his body down. Next thing I feel is his hot mouth on my pussy, his hands pushing on my inner thighs apart. Jax’s mouth devours me, using his whole mouth and tongue to lick up and down my pussy, paying special attention to my clit. His tongue flicks my clit, sucking it into his mouth.
I buck against the shower wall, the pleasure spiking through me. My orgasm is building fast, my pussy so sensitive from all the fucking we have already done. I didn’t even think I could possibly orgasm again.
Jax’s mouth and tongue continue their assault on my pussy, his tongue sliding everywhere, up and down, in and out, a pace just like his fingers, sucking my clit on and off, pushing me close only to pull me back down.
It felt amazing, as it drove me crazy at the same time. I felt myself ready to fall, spin into oblivion, another amazing orgasm ripping through me. I crash into my orgasm, the waves strong as I ride each one, crying out his name, screaming my cries of pleasure. The orgasm was so intense, I squeeze Jax’s head as I hold on, afraid to let go, afraid I’ll fall right to the shower floor.
Sure enough, Jax is right back to standing, my own body supported by his as he finishes washing us, his mouth slowly trailing wherever he goes. Jax is literally worshipping every inch of my skin.
“Jax,” I breath, unable to fully catch my breath yet, “I love you, Jax.”
Suddenly, he is right in front of my face, his gorgeous eyes holding mine. “Maddie, baby, let’s stay hidden together. Just us. I’ll always protect you, forever. You are mine now, gorgeous. You always have been; we just didn’t know it yet.” His eyes blaze into mine, his love shining through.
“And you are mine, Jax. Can’t escape now.” I grin up at him.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
Chapter 27
Jax
I stare at Maddie as she shovels the pieces of thick pancake smothered in syrup into her mouth. She must not have eaten much, her body looking thinner, her eyes tired. Just a night of my being here and she looks much better, her skin glowing.
Must have been all those orgasms I gave her. I snicker, catching her attention.
“What’s so funny?” She says, her mouth full of bacon.
“Nothing, just watching your gorgeous face eat.” I grin at her, happiness flowing through me. I am so happy she believed me, so relieved. I bite into a piece of jelly toast. “So you want to stay in Italy right?”
Maddie tries to read my expression but I don’t care where she wants to stay; I would follow her anywhere. I just want to buy her a house, get us comfortable.
She nods slowly, thoughtfully. I know she has a lot of thoughts running through that pretty head of hers, keeping her and me awake at night. One day, she won’t be worried, won’t be scared.
We will be safe, out of danger. Together, hopefully growing a family together. I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about Maddie.
“I will follow you anywhere you want to go, Maddie,” I tell her, my eyes holding hers. “Anywhere. I just want to look for a place
to live, a place for us to stay.”
Fear passes through her eyes in a flash and then it’s gone. She doesn’t break eye contact with me. “Jax, I just don’t think I can put roots down somewhere. What if he finds me again?”
“He won’t find you again, I will make sure of it. We will be so far off the beaten path, secure and safe.”
Maddie nods, sipping her coffee, her eyes pulling from mine. She doesn’t say anything as she stares past me, through me. “Maddie, trust me, I won’t let him hurt you again, I promise.”
She whispers softly, my ears straining to hear her, “My whole life, I am going to be afraid, always afraid. I know you will protect me Jax, but I will always be afraid he is going to find me, take me back.”
I stand, walking around to her, pulling her to a stand, tipping her chin up to look me in the eye. “Don’t worry gorgeous. I will make sure he never bothers us again.” I wrap her in my arms, pulling her close. I wish I could take all her pain, her worry, her angst and make it my own.
***
A few days pass and all we do is look for a place to live. We try to find little villas or small homes that aren’t near anything else. Money isn’t an issue; I have plenty saved from the jobs I have pulled off. And I want to buy something straight out.
Maddie is amazing, following me around, as I bounce us from place to place. Joy fills her face as we find new places to explore, the apartments and style of living here so different from back home. It is such a fresh start, a fresh breath of air for us.
And I can’t stop worshipping her. Her body, her mind, her soul. I want to explore everything about her, making conversation with her well into the night, as we fuck each other senseless in between hushed whispers.
Maddie is unlike any other woman I have ever met in my life. I actually want to dig deeper, find out more, and worship her forever.
“Jax!” Maddie stirs me from my thoughts as she pulls me through a back sliding door and onto a beautiful patio overlooking an amazing village, much in the distance.