by G E Griffin
“We’ll get you registered for some classes if you like. That’s why it’s so useful having the fitness suite on hand here, and is one of the main reasons I decided to live here when I bought my place, even though it’s not that big. I decided I could put up with the limitations as I'm away so much,” he said as he glanced round his apartment.
“Not that big? Are you kidding me? How much space does one man need?” I asked incredulously. The place seemed enormous to me, and I hadn't even seen all of it yet.
“Well, I would like to have decent wine storage facilities, and the main bedroom is only just adequate once my oversize bed is in there. I’ve also had a battle to buy the extra parking spaces I wanted for my cars. But as I said, this place suits me well enough for now, especially now that you’ve moved in downstairs.” He smiled and kissed my cheek.
I didn't dare ask him how many cars he needed parking spaces for, or how many other places he owned, knowing I’d more than likely find the answers rather overwhelming. I also had more than a sneaky suspicion that Liam liked having me so near because it was going to make keeping tracks on me that much easier for the control freak.
“So, do you want to get changed into your gym gear and come down with me? Then afterwards I thought maybe we could go out and grab a bite to eat.”
“Sure, I’ll go and get changed, but I'm not that hungry. Abbey and I had something to eat earlier, so perhaps something light?”
“Maybe you’ll have worked up more of an appetite after you’ve shown me what you can do in the gym,” he suggested.
“What you mean is you’ll be starving hungry and will want a proper meal eh? You seem to eat like a horse from what I've seen, but I’m sure we can find somewhere to suit both our appetites - there seem to be quite a few decent places around here to eat.”
“Come on then, we’ll stop by your apartment for you to get changed, then head on down.”
When I came out of my bedroom in my gym gear, Liam was looking through the pile of photos I’d got out ready to choose some to hang.
“Are these all your work?” he asked.
“Yes, those are some of my particular favourites.”
“I like this one.”
It was photo of the sea, a beach and some spectacular cliffs. The sky was bright blue, and the sunlight was sparkling on the water. By luck, I’d managed to capture the reflections on the water perfectly in that shot.
“That one is special actually. A very happy memory of a special place and a special time. That’s why I love photographs, because they capture a unique moment in time for posterity. That’s the last photo I ever took of my mum.” I pointed out the lone figure walking way ahead in the distance on the beach. “We’d gone down to West Bay in Dorset, as we did every year to our neighbours caravan that he let us use rent free. We walked along that beach every day, come rain or shine, and I always lagged behind because I love picking out unusual pebbles.”
“Why is this the last picture of your mum? What happened after that?” Liam asked softly.
I was tempted not to answer, but the look in his eyes somehow convinced me to open up to him.
“A week after we got back, she was knocked down and killed in a road accident. That was it. She was gone, with no chance to say goodbye, nothing. So I do understand what it must have been like for you when your father suddenly died. Everything changes forever, in an instant. And no matter who you are, no matter what you do, you have no control over these events, and that’s what makes me so fucking angry,” I found myself telling him. I normally kept these feelings deeply hidden and tucked away, and now I regretted getting that stupid photo out. I thought I was ready to handle it, but clearly I wasn’t. I picked it up and went to put in back in the box.
“Don’t put it away again,” Liam took it from my hand and laid it on the table, and then tenderly wrapped me up in his big arms and slowly rocked me. “It’s still very recent and raw for you, isn’t it? Despite that brave face you show to the world, you’re still grieving for her aren’t you?”
“I guess so. But do you know what the worst thing is? I get so fucking angry with Mum. Angry with her for leaving me. Angry with her for having to cope on my own. Angry with her for not looking before she stepped out into the road. Angry that she was probably lost in her airy fairy dream world as usual.” I'd never admitted any of this out loud to anyone else before, and I was surprised by the way all these horrid ugly thoughts were demanding to be let out all of a sudden.
“I know, I understand,” Liam murmured, as he kept holding me and rocking me. It felt really good being so close with him like this, instead of always keeping myself at a distance from everyone. He made me feel comforted and cocooned from all the problems of the world, just for that moment anyway.
“You do? You aren’t shocked? I mean I loved my mum and we were really close, and yet I’m still so angry with her.”
“I used to joke that I wanted to kill my dad for dying on me the way he did. He was a heavy smoker, and he’d been warned about his health issues, but he stubbornly carried on regardless, which I thought was incredibly selfish when he had his sons to think of. And then when he died, I got all his problems dumped on my shoulders. So believe me, Sera, I get the whole anger and resentment thing.”
I turned my head up to look at him.
“You really do, don’t you?”
“Have you ever talked to a counsellor about any of this?”
“Not really. At the time, the college I was at tried to get me to see someone they arranged, but she was totally useless, really hadn't got a clue. Did you get any counselling?”
“No, I found it easier to bury myself in sorting out the mess my father left behind in his business affairs, trying to prove that I was a better man than him. But in time I worked out it wasn’t really his fault. His problem was that he never got over the death of his wife. He pretty much gave up on life after my mother died and just went through the motions. You see, my mother committed suicide.”
“Oh Liam, how terrible,” I said, deeply shocked.
“As you know she was Irish, and apparently my father swept her off her feet and married her after a whirlwind romance when she was over here visiting some relations. But she was very young, and she found it hard to settle. She got very homesick, but my father refused to let her go back to Ireland even for just for a visit, which made her family all hate him. I think he was afraid that if he let her go, she would want to stay over there and wouldn’t come back. Anyway, he thought having a baby would make her feel more settled here, so they went ahead and had me. Afterwards, she suffered very badly from post natal depression, and I think had some sort of a breakdown. So my father wouldn’t agree to them having any more children, even though she desperately wanted another baby. He considered it far too risky for her health.”
Liam had let his guard down for once and I could see the pain etched on his face.
“So how come they had Jamie all those years later? Isn’t there about ten years between you two?”
“That’s right. I'm not sure of all the details because my father refused to discuss any of it, but my mother somehow managed to get herself pregnant, and then kept it secret from him until it was too late for anything to be done about it. But I think the way he refused to have anything to do with the baby – with Jamie – once he was born broke her heart and pushed her into severe depression. She killed herself when he was just a few months old by throwing herself under a train.”
“That’s so awful and really shocking Liam. No wonder your father found it hard to cope. You must have had such a difficult childhood surrounded by so much grief and sadness. It’s hardly surprising you switched a lot of your feelings off.” He was still holding me, so I slipped my arms around his waist and hugged him very hard.
“It’s taken you to switch them back on again, Seraphina, but I can't deny I’m finding it hard to cope with this sudden rush of unfamiliar feelings. That’s why I need to know where you are at all times, that you’re
safe. It makes me feel calmer.”
“I'm sorry I was thoughtless, and I promise to try harder in future not to worry you. You have to remember that all this is new to me too.”
“We’ll both try harder. Now, how about that gym session?” he smiled down at me as he gave me a sweet little kiss on the lips.
I felt privileged that he’d felt able to tell me about his mother’s suicide, certain this was something he never usually spoke about.
~*~
I was discovering that there were many facets to Liam, and he could change which one was on show in an instant, leaving me completely blindsided.
He’d just been so incredibly sweet and kind and tender when we’d been talking about our respective mothers, and I think at that moment I got to see a side of him that very few people had ever seen.
Then we went down to the gym.
Maybe I should have picked up the warning signs when I saw him glowering at the guy down there who introduced himself to me as Scott Franklin, the Gym and Fitness Suite Manager. He seemed to know Liam quite well, which made sense as he was a regular user of the gym.
Scott was a tall, swarthy, very dark haired guy, and obviously into body building judging by the size of his huge biceps and thighs, which were hard to miss as he was wearing just shorts and a vest top. It was also obvious that he was very hairy, which I don’t find attractive in a guy at all. I glanced over to study what I could see of Liam’s body. He didn't appear to have a lot of body hair, and what he did have seemed very fair. No, I preferred his much smoother body, no question.
“I haven’t seen you in here before. Are you just a casual user, or into the more regular scene?” Scott asked, which seemed a rather odd way of putting things.
“Oh, I’d probably say I’m just a casual user,” I replied, as Liam glared at me for some reason.
“This is Seraphina Jones, and she’s my guest,” Liam stared at Scott, who looked very surprised for some reason.
“Ah right, your guest, Liam. I didn't realise, not your usual…So Seraphina, that’s a very unusual name. I certainly won’t have any trouble remembering it, and I’ll be sure to add your details to the list,” Scott winked, as he gave me a cheeky smile. I noticed he had very dark brown eyes, very different from Liam’s sapphire blue eyes.
“Scott, you will not add her to the list. I told you, Seraphina is with me.” Liam’s face looked like thunder for some reason.
“For now, yes, but I'm sure there’ll be a lot of interest, and I’ll certainly be putting my name down,” Scott grinned, as he stared at me. What on earth he meant by that I hadn't got a clue.
“I’m just going to have a word with Scott about the paperwork, Seraphina. I’ll be with you in a minute,” Liam said, as he indicated for Scott to go into his office with him.
I guessed they needed to fill in some forms for my membership application, as Liam had said I needed a recommendation from him before I could join the gym. But I'd already decided that whatever he said, I was going to insist on paying my own membership fees, seeing as I was about to take up a very well paid position in his company. I had to start getting used to the idea that I could afford things like this out of my own money, so I decided I’d have a private word with Scott as soon as I got the chance when Liam wasn’t around.
While Liam was with Scott in the office, I glanced around at all the state of the art equipment, and decided to use just a simple running machine that I could easily figure out for myself. So after completing a few warm up exercises, I took my track suit off ready to start.
And then Liam came back out of the office, took one look at me and threw a hissy fit about what I was wearing.
“Put your track suit back on. You look indecent. You’re to go out tomorrow and fucking well get yourself some more appropriate clothing to wear in here,” he came over and hissed furiously in my ear.
“I’ll be too hot in my track suit. I am wearing appropriate clothing and I do not look indecent.” I hissed back. I was wearing my favourite lycra cropped top and shorts.
“What you’re wearing is far too thin and brief. It leaves nothing to the imagination,” he insisted. “That might be okay for you to wear in the privacy of your own home, but I do not want every man in here ogling you while you’re exercising in public wearing virtually nothing.”
“Don’t be so ridiculous, Liam. No one is interested in ogling me, they’re all far too busy getting on with what they came down here for – exercising.”
“Trust me, Seraphina, the eyes of every man in here are riveted on you.”
I looked around. It was quite busy, there were about half a dozen men and a couple of other women. One of the men winked at me, and another smiled, even as Liam was standing next to me.
“I'm only wearing what the other women are wearing,” I pointed out. “Why don’t you go for a swim to cool yourself down?”
“I'm not leaving you here alone while you’re dressed like this.”
“Good job I'm not going swimming with you then, because from the way you’re acting you’d have me wearing one of those Victorian swimsuits rather than my bikini, wouldn’t you?”
“No, of course not. But…”
“You’re being totally ridiculous, Liam. Now please, you brought me down here to exercise, so that’s what I’m going to do.”
I put my ear buds in, selected my favourite playlist on my iPod, and started running on the machine, steadfastly ignoring Liam, who chose to run on the machine next to me with a very grim expression on his face.
That had put him in his place. He needn’t think he was going to control what I wore to the gym or anywhere else come to that, I told myself smugly. He could just like it or lump it.
~*~
After the gym episode, Liam seemed to have calmed down. We went out and had a pretty decent meal at The Butler’s Wharf Chop House, which was only a short walk from our apartments.
As usual, Liam wolfed down his meal of chargrilled sirloin steak served with horseradish and caper butter, homemade chips and mixed leaf salad, washed down with a pint of one of their specialist beers, a Meantime London Porter that he said was one of his favourites.
I had a chestnut mushroom and goats cheese risotto, along with a bottle of my favourite San Pellegrino sparkling water.
And boy, could that man eat, because even after a huge main meal, he still had a pear tarte tatin with a passion fruit sorbet, and seemed surprised when I said I couldn’t fit in a dessert.
“You’re a pretty cheap date,” he commented. “It’s not as if you need to watch your weight, because there’s hardly anything of you as it is.”
“I really enjoy good food, but I hate that feeling of being bloated when you force yourself to eat more than you really want. Sorry if that means I don’t measure up to your usual curvaceous tastes in women,” I said witheringly.
“That’s not what I meant. I like you just the way you are, and I'm glad you have a healthy attitude towards diet and exercise. You seem to like cooking as well?” I guessed he was referring to the fact that I'd been more than happy to prepare us a meal the previous evening.
“Yes, I do, but I don’t usually bother cooking anything too fancy. I can't be doing with these recipes that call for dozens of fiddly ingredients that you have to trek miles to find, and then never use again. I prefer to stick to the simple good quality basics and let the flavours speak for themselves. Do you cook at all, Liam?” I asked curiously.
“I’m perfectly capable of putting a reasonable meal together. But I don’t usually have the time, so I either eat out, or my housekeeper provides me with meals that I can heat up when I get in.”
“You have a housekeeper? Now you mention it, that makes sense as I can't really see you on your hands and knees scrubbing the loo or washing the kitchen floor.”
“I wouldn’t have a problem with either of those tasks if I had the time, but it’s more efficient for me to employ Agnieszka as my housekeeper. She’s Polish but speaks excellent English, and she
comes in every weekday while I’m out at work. I just leave her a copy of my upcoming schedule so she knows which days to have a meal prepared for me. I hardly ever actually see her in person, but she’s very good, she takes care of all my laundry and cleaning as well as the food provision. I could ask her to look after you as well if you want?”
“Good grief no! I don’t need any kind of a housekeeper. I'm more than able to look after myself,” I said, horrified at the idea.
“Yes, but once you start working for my company, I can promise that you’re going to be kept extremely busy with all the demanding projects I have in mind. You’ll be working very long hours, so you might wish to think about having some help, and I'm sure Aggie would be happy to take it on.”
“No, I'm sorry, but it just wouldn’t feel right to have someone else coming in and doing things like sorting out my dirty undies. I’ve always managed perfectly well, even when I've been working several jobs as well as studying,” I insisted.
“Have it your own way, Seraphina. Just remember with the level of income you’ll be earning, you won’t have to struggle to make ends meet any more.”
“Fair point, Liam, but I really wouldn’t like someone coming in, it would seem like an invasion of my privacy somehow. Anyway I'd probably be one of those stupid people who clean up before the cleaner comes in, so what would be the point?”
“Okay, but the offer is there if you change your mind. Now, shall we head back to your place, and I’ll show you how to use the espresso machine that you were struggling with yesterday?
~*~
We were sat together on the large white sofa in my place. I’d put a colourful throw over it, as white was a totally impractical colour, but I'd noticed Liam hadn't bothered on the similar white sofa in his place. Perhaps he was never home long enough to actually sit on it.
“So, what is your schedule this week?” I asked, as I curled up against him.