Lizzie rearranged the pile of pumpkins, stacking the smaller ones on top. She brushed her curly tendrils from her eyes. “It shall be wonderful for the festival.”
Mary shook her head. “I’ve heard it means a hard winter, though.”
“If that means more sled riding, I look forward to it.” Lizzie’s laugh tinkled like a bell.
They walked back into the field to gather the next armload, Patience lagging behind. Mary turned and held out her hand. “Are you all right, Patience?”
“I am. A little tired, I suppose. I didn’t sleep well last night.” When did she sleep well? It seemed her nights were spent tossing and turning.
Lizzie turned to look at her. “Perhaps you should rest. If you are not sleeping well, you most likely have the malaise. When we go in for the festival, I shall stop by my house for a tonic.”
“Oh, I shall be fine. I’m looking forward to the festival. It shall be great fun.”
It took most of the morning to finish with the pumpkins. Caleb came out to drive the wagon to the market. Mary took her girls in to change their clothes. Patience reminded them to bring their samplers, and then she left with Lizzie to change their aprons at her house and fetch her hats.
By the time they made it to the village green, Caleb had pumpkins and corn for sale from the wagon. Joshua Hobart, Benjamin, and Johnny had hauled out chairs and tables from the church for the ladies, and Lizzie spread out her hats on the table next to Mary’s baked goods. She left room for the samplers at one end.
Mercy stood close by. “Now, don’t let anybody buy my ABCs,” she said. They all laughed. Mary told her to go find a hoop with Little Mary before all the big children took them. They watched the girls run off, ribbons flying behind them.
Patience sat at the end of the table and watched as Hannah and Sarah went with Jonathan to make their way through a maze of haystacks and cornstalks—built by Benjamin and Zeke. Caleb and his brother Joshua, followed by Mosh, hauled buckets of water for the apple bobbing.
She thought she felt a little dizzy but pushed the thought aside. When Joshua Hobart walked up with a big, thick rope and challenged the ladies to be a team against the men, she and Lizzie and Mary were all for it. The hats and pies had sold well, and it was time for fun. They sent Benjamin off to find Anna and Abbey before they lined up.
Mary was the shortest, so they put her in the middle, facing Zeke. The rest of the ladies took their spots according to height, and Patience was next to the last, with Abbey—the tallest—on the end. Benjamin was the tallest on the men’s team. Patience couldn’t help but think it would have been Jeremy if he’d been here.
Most of the children came to sit on the grass to watch the tug-of-war. They looked on in awe. The women pulled first and gained a little ground. Then the men pulled them back. The war was on. The children shouted, and it was lost on Patience who they cheered for. She pulled with all her might, and then all went black.
The next thing she knew, she was lying on the grass, and she could hear muffled voices as if everyone was talking to her. Then faces appeared as if they floated around her. Gradually, she could see the peering faces had bodies, and the first face she recognized was Joshua Hobart’s. “Benjamin has gone to find Doctor Smith,” she heard him say. She could hear Mary telling the children to stay back. Someone else said she needed fresh air. And then there was Lizzie with her elixir. Joshua helped her sit up, and Lizzie made her swallow.
All she could think to say was, “Who won?”
By the time the doctor arrived, they had figured out she was raging with fever. He asked Lizzie to dampen some cloths in the apple-dunking water and drape them on her forehead. A couple of his patients had had a similar fever, and it seemed to spike and then go away, and he predicted hers would do the same. He advised bed rest until it ran its course.
She tried to stand up, but Barnabas told her not to, and he scooped her up to carry her home. Mary told Hannah and Sarah to watch the younger girls and followed Barnabas. She helped Patience undress and get into bed and then sat with her until she was sleepy. It wasn’t long before she felt her eyes closing. Mary kissed her forehead and tucked the pretty quilt with pink embroidered rosebuds around her. She told her Lizzie would come to check in on her tonight. She would be back in the morning.
Patience tried to get up after Mary left, but her head pounded, and she realized it was best to lie still. Mosh jumped up beside her, as if to keep her there, and she tickled his fur with her fingers in return. Sleep came in snatches, and she would wake with troubled thoughts of Jeremy and ships and Harry.
She woke in the morning before first light and saw the mug of cold sage tea next to her Bible, and plate of dry biscuits that Lizzie must have left the night before. She was up and sitting in her chair in the parlor when Mary arrived.
“Why are you out of bed? Are you feeling better?”
“I am. Just a little light-headed, so I thought I would sit here before going into the kitchen.”
“Tsk. You are not going into the kitchen. I shall bring you some hot tea and some toast. Do you feel up to marmalade, or does your stomach bother you?”
She nodded and gave a weak smile. “That sounds good.”
Mary came out with a tray and set it on the table. She handed her a mug with a sprig of sage in the hot water. She took another mug from the tray and sat down opposite her. “Did you sleep all right?”
“I didn’t think so until I saw the tray Lizzie left me upstairs and realized I didn’t even hear her come in.” She put her head back to rest on the chair.
Mary studied her. “I think you’ve been through much lately, and ’tis catching up with you. You need to rest.”
“I may not have a choice. My legs feel weak.”
“Then you need to be back up in bed, and before I leave I’m going to make sure you are.” She shook her head. “Let me feel your forehead.” She got up and put her hand on Patience’s face. “You don’t feel hot. But it does mean you must rest. I’m glad classes are not in session, but even if they were, we would cancel them.”
Patience watched as Mary broke the toast in two and handed her a piece. She took a small bite but found she wasn’t hungry. “Do you think Jeremy shall ever come back?”
Mary’s hazel-blue eyes flew open wide. “I—I’m surprised you ask. You haven’t wanted to speak of him, Patience. What brings this on?” She took the mug from Patience’s outstretched hand and set it on the table.
She wasn’t certain if she wanted to tell her of the conversation with Harry. She put her head in her hands. “I don’t know. I thought about him last night when I was trying to sleep. Or maybe I dreamt of him.”
“I don’t know how to answer your question. I hope he comes back. We love him very much and shall miss him. But he doesn’t have The Swallow, he has an estate that needs him. And we do not even know what he found when he got back to Mowsley. But he does have a strong sense of duty to the estate. He might not come back.” Her eyes misted as she spoke.
Patience was crying softly into her hands. Her shoulders shook. Mary patted her. “There now, tell me why you are so upset.”
“Did you know that Harry was going to ask him to sail The Annabelle for him? That one of those cabins was for Jeremy and me?”
“Harry never said that. Jeremy didn’t either.” She took a sip of her tea.
“Well, Jeremy didn’t know. Harry told me that when I went out there last Monday. He showed me the two master cabins. He planned on asking Jeremy, but then he was called away.”
Mary looked down at Mosh and then back up at Patience. “Would you have done that?”
“Oh no, I couldn’t.” She picked up a napkin from the tray and wiped her nose. “But that is just the thing. Harry wants me to sail with him, to England. He wants me to go to Jeremy.”
A little gasp escaped from Mary. “Really? He’d sail the ship?”
“Yes, and I believe he could.”
Mary stood and began to pace. “Then you must go. Do yo
u not see?”
Patience drew her knees up and hugged them. She rested her cheek against them. “I can’t. I’m too afraid. I cannot get on that ship.” Why did no one seem to understand that? Was no one else afraid to sail? Or have a fear that kept them from doing something they’d dearly love to do? Was she the only one to face this?
Her dearest friend sat back down in front of her and leaned close. “I’m going to say this to you, Patience, because you need to hear this. I have held back because you made it clear to me you did not want to discuss Jeremy. But you brought him up.” She stopped for less than a moment for a breath. “You belong with Jeremy. God put him into your life for a reason. We may not know why he’s not here, but you need to go to him. You must be stronger than your fears because you have God with you every step of the way.”
She stared at Mary, a sheet of tears covering her cheeks, her bottom lip trembling.
Mary stood and pulled her up. “Now, I’m putting you back to bed. You must think and pray on what I have said. Lizzie shall be over later to see you. I hope when she comes, you shall tell her what you must do.”
She led her upstairs and tucked her in with Mosh at her side. She covered Patience’s hand. “You know what is right, and you know you are strong. Do the right thing, dear. God will be with you.”
Patience listened as Mary went down the stairs and let herself out. Fresh tears came, as she knew they would. Then her body gave way to either fever or exhaustion. Perhaps both.
When Lizzie came later that day, Patience woke and was surprised to see Joshua Hobart with her. Lizzie plumped her pillows and brought her some broth. When she finished it, Lizzie took the bowl back to the kitchen.
Joshua cleared his throat. “Are you feeling better than yesterday? You gave us quite a fright.”
“I think I am. In some ways. But ’tis been a hard day for me.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
She tried to smile. “You are such a good friend. But I don’t think there is anything anyone can do for me.”
A cup of tea sat on the table, and he handed it to her. She took a sip, and he set it back down. “I wanted to come speak to you because Mary shared with me what you told her about Harry’s ship.”
“She did?”
“Yes, she’s very concerned for you, Patience. I am, too. I know you are in love with Jeremy. And I know how much Harry cares about him and you.”
She pressed her fingers against her eyes. She couldn’t cry. Not now. “I don’t know what to do, Joshua. I pray, but I can’t see the way. I could never get on a ship again. I’m too afraid.”
He picked up her Bible from the table and opened it. “Patience, this is Isaiah, chapter 41, verse 13. Listen. ‘For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not, I will help thee.’ What a promise. He holds our hand so that we might not fear.”
“I—I believe that, Joshua. Only, ’tis so hard to remember it.”
He leaned close. “The important thing for you to remember, Patience, is to put God first and then follow where He leads your heart, in faith, knowing He holds your hand.”
40
October 30, 1665
Mary and Lizzie came to Patience in the morning. Her fever was gone, and she’d dressed and wandered outside to look at her garden. She walked through the spent flowers. So many of her plants were withered from the heat. Only her fat roses clung to their petals, not willing to let them drop until the first frost. She saw her friends walking up the flagstone path, and she called Mosh to follow her through the back door to greet them.
They came bearing food, and the three ladies sat at the kitchen table, sharing a morning meal.
Mary brushed some crumbs from the table. “We shall not stay long. You look so much better today. I know you have much to think about. I only want to say, we love you and whatever you decide we shall support.”
Lizzie wiped the plates off with a cloth. “We both feel that way. Patience, I heard what Joshua said last night.” Her violet eyes were moist. “I just want to add . . . I just want to say, Jeremy is your heart. He always has been.”
Patience rose from her chair and took Lizzie in her arms. “I know what you are trying to tell me. Harry says he’s my North Star. Thank you so much. You too, Mary. You both are the truest of friends. I shall think on all of these things. I shall.”
They went out the door, and she knew they were heavy of heart. She was, too. But she knew what she must do. She put on her cloak and called for Mosh. They went directly to the livery to rent a wagon. Mosh hopped in, and she waved to a worried-looking Mr. Timms as she clattered down the lane.
She clucked at Chester and urged him to a trot. She might as well be brave if she was going to act brave. It was a cold ride—the weather had changed overnight—and she was glad when she pulled into Winter Harbor. She looked out along the wharf. There sat Harry on his trunk, his back hunched. He looked so cold and alone. He didn’t even hear her as she climbed down from the wagon. Mosh ran up to him and put his warm nose in his lap.
“Oh, ho. Who’s this now?” He petted the dog, but his eyes darted to her. He stood. “I prayed ye would come back.”
“Harry, I don’t know what to do.” She looked out at the choppy bay. “I don’t know.”
“Child, the difficult thing is not in knowing what ye are to do. The difficult thing is in doing it.”
“I want to go with you. I want to sail with you. You said something to me the last time I was here. You said Jeremy is my North Star. And he is. I want to go to Jeremy.”
Harry wrapped his thick arms around her and swung her around on his wooden leg before he put her back on her feet. “We will do that then. I’ll take ye to Jeremy. My crew is eager to go. I’ll provision the ship, and we will sail before Sunday.” He stopped for a moment. “Does that give ye enough time?”
So many things flashed through her mind. Mary. Her little school. Her dear friends like Anna and Abbey. Lizzie’s Hat Shop. Her parents, who were buried here. Her life in Southold ran before her. But she knew Lizzie was right. These were her friends, and they were like a family to her, but Jeremy was her heart. And Joshua was right, too. If she put God first, the rest would be easy.
She looked into Harry’s merry blue eyes. “I think I can do that. But I must go now and start getting everything ready.”
“And not have fried fish with Mrs. Sweeney? She’d not forgive ye.” He took her elbow and propelled her to dinner.
As they sat and ate, Patience peppered him with questions. “How many trunks may I bring?” “What shall Mosh eat on the voyage?” “When shall we get there?”
To the last he said it was too early to begin asking that question—but he expected he’d hear it many times.
He helped her back into the wagon. “I thought ye’d not be driving this thing by yourself anymore.”
Her laugh rippled on the wind. “And I thought I’d never be sailing again.” Mosh sat like he wanted to stay. “Come on, Mosh. We shall be back. You’re going to like this, boy.” She clucked at Chester as Mosh hopped in.
At home, she decided she would pack her trunks, four to be exact, before she told Mary and Lizzie. She knew they were praying she would go, but still it would be hard for all three of them. They’d been founding sisters, after all. But she wouldn’t be the first to go. Winnie had been their founding sister, too, and she had gone to her Heavenly home.
She packed her gowns and petticoats into the trunks, and her thoughts turned to Mowsley. She’d been born there and hadn’t left until she was seventeen. She wondered how much it had changed. How much had she changed? And Jeremy? Was he changed by what he’d found when he returned? What might he be doing now, and would he be glad to see her? He might have believed what she’d said when he left. What would she do if he held her to it?
She went to bed and fell into a sound sleep. And when she woke up, she was renewed in mind and body. She washed her face and sang as she pulled her clothes on. She told Mosh tha
t as soon as they ate, they’d be going visiting.
As she sat at her table, eating a bit of cheese, she began a list of very important things she must take care of before she left. First and foremost, she would give her house to Lizzie to expand the hat shop.
Her list led to reflection. Her little girls. They would be the hardest to say goodbye to, because they would not understand. She would miss them terribly. Suddenly the realization that she might never see them grow up tore at her. But they would write, because she had taught them their ABCs. She would tell them they must write.
And Mary, sweet Mary. She would take the precious recipes Mary had given her over the years, and she would strive to bake like Mary. Jeremy would like that. Of course he would. And she would remember Mary every time she baked an apple pie.
Joshua Hobart. He was an interesting man. He cared for her deeply, that she knew. But he was wise beyond his years. And he would go far as a preacher. He knew his calling, and he was true to it. And he’d taught her how to find hers. He was a blessing to her.
Mosh trotted happily beside her as she walked past the church to Mary’s house. She’d brought her list. Mary opened her door before she even stepped up to it. Her heart seemed to swell, and she blinked away tears when she found Lizzie, Anna, and Abbey were there to hear her news.
Mary served lemonade and ginger cakes, and they all sat around the old oak table in the kitchen. There would be no sewing today. Only fond memories to recall and future plans to discuss.
“Lizzie, I want very much to give my house to you. You would be able to expand the hat shop like you’ve been wanting to do.”
Lizzie’s eyes lit up. “That is so very generous of you. I do not know what to say, but thank you.” Her silvery curls bobbed as she got up and hugged her.
Patience patted her. “No words are needed. I cannot tell you how good it does my heart to know my parents’ house shall be well loved, and I cannot think of a better use for it.” She looked at Mary. “And I shall be leaving certain things in the house that I should like to give to you and your daughters. I packed most of my linens and clothes in my trunks. And a few of the things Mother left me. But many of the dishes and kitchen things I’m leaving for you to decide who might want or need them.”
To Follow Her Heart Page 25