“You’re not going home and not seeing anyone.” She stated it as if it were an order.
“I have to go to a conference. There isn’t time for visiting. As soon as it’s over I have to return to work here.”
“Bradley Randall Clayton, I will put your business all in the street if you try some foolishness like this.”
He wished he hadn’t told her. This trip to Texas would be different. He had a specific purpose that involved family. Not the family he’d grown up in, but the one he’d been denied. He needed to see his birth mother. And he didn’t need to have the entire Clayton clan looking over his shoulder.
Brad didn’t have time to think of a reply to his sister’s threat. Mallory approached the table and sat down.
“You’re causing quite a stir,” she told Rosa. “I think everyone at Philadelphia General knows you’re here. And they all want to meet you.”
Rosa had that effect on people. She largely ignored the stares, but it made Brad uncomfortable. “Rosa likes the limelight,” he said.
“Only at times,” she corrected. “But it makes Brad crazy, so I particularly love to play it up when he’s around. Do you know when he was a kid, he’d hide whenever anyone we didn’t know came to the door?”
Mallory glanced at him as she raised a soft drink from the tray.
“I did not hide.” He spoke to Rosa, but his eyes were on Mallory.
“No, he just left the room.”
“Rosa…” he said warningly again.
“Your brother tells me you live in New York City.” Mallory changed the subject and Brad wondered if she did it for his benefit. She seemed to be able to tune in to his feelings without him being aware of it. The fact that she could tell what he thought and felt made him both uneasy and elated. There were so few people who had been able to understand his sudden mood changes. He knew he perplexed some members of his family. But not Rosa.
“I do. It’s convenient for work, but I really like small towns. What about you? Do you like living in a big city?”
“I’ve lived here most of my life.”
“Mallory lives in a house that her family has had for generations,” Brad interjected. Rosa turned her attention to him and he knew by her look he’d stepped right into her trap.
“You’ve been there then?” The question was delivered with a raised eyebrow that Brad knew meant she was searching for answers. He finally realized why Rosa had suddenly appeared for lunch. She was probing, prying into his life. She thought he was too much alone and that he needed to find a wife. He hadn’t mentioned Mallory to her since the night of the emergency room incident with Wayne Mason, but Rosa obviously had not forgotten it.
“Brad met me one morning and we went ballooning.”
“Brad went up in a balloon? A hot-air balloon?” She shifted her gaze from Brad to Mallory. “With you?”
Before Mallory could answer, Brad jumped in. “Rosa, I know what you’re doing. Stop it.”
The two women glanced at each other. He could see the conspiracy in their look. They didn’t know one another, but there seemed to be an unspoken communication and understanding between them—unlike anything he’d ever seen among men.
“I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re trying to find out if there’s something between us. Let me answer directly. No.”
Rosa said something, but Brad didn’t hear it. He was staring at Mallory. The impact of his words on her was obvious. She seemed to crawl inside herself.
He regretted it as soon as he realized his mistake. There was something between them. She’d mentioned the ballooning trip, but he remembered their afternoon after that trip. The long day in bed with her wrapped in his arms and his body filling hers.
“Rosa,” she said in a voice that was lower than he’d ever heard it. She cleared her throat. “It was very nice meeting you, but I have to go back to my patients now.”
Rosa glanced at Mallory’s tray. Her food was only half-eaten. Both of them knew she was lying. She hadn’t been paged or beeped. Her lunch hour wasn’t over for another forty minutes. Yet she stood and smiled and walked away.
“How could you be so insensitive?” Rosa asked. “There’s something so obvious between you that it’s almost visible. And I’m sure your denial hurt Mallory’s feelings.” She leaned closer to him and lowered her voice. “But it scares you to death, doesn’t it, Brad?”
“Rosa, stay out of my business.”
They both stood up then and started for the same exit Mallory had taken. “Brad, you have to go after her.”
“Leave it alone.”
“But you hurt her feelings,” Rosa insisted.
“Whatever I did or didn’t do is no concern of yours.”
“I know you didn’t mean to do it. You’re afraid she’ll leave you like all the others.”
Brad sighed heavily. He didn’t want to talk about this. Rosa and the rest of his family knew about his mother and the two other serious relationships in his life that had ended miserably. The women from both relationships had moved, leaving him holding his heart in his hand.
He didn’t want to be reminded that whenever he let someone in his life they eventually left him. Rosa concentrated on his relationships, but it had started with his father, his real father, not the man his mother married. His dad had left him before Brad was even old enough to know him. Then his grandmother died and his mother never returned. He refused to think about how devastated he was when the woman he’d been about to ask to marry him decided she was ending their relationship, not for another man, but for an out-of-town job. She hadn’t even talked it over with him.
“It’s been years since they left,” Rosa pointed out. “Love is something you have to be willing to take a risk on. I can see you have serious feelings for Mallory. And she has feelings for you.”
“Suppose it doesn’t work? What then?”
“Then pick yourself up and try again.”
“You say that with such ease.”
“Words are easy. Look, brother dear, I know this is hard, but in the long run it could be worth it. But you’ll never know if you run away every time a woman gets close. You saw how Digger shut down after Josh died and Marita left him. Then Erin came into his life and opened his heart. You know how happy they are.”
Brad did know. His brother, who’d sworn he would never marry and have children again, who’d never even wanted to be around kids, had married last year and adopted a little girl. Digger did nothing but smile and talk about his new wife and family now. Brad envied him.
He looked back at his sister. She turned her big brown eyes on him.
“I’ll go talk to her.”
At the entrance to the hospital Rosa hugged him and said goodbye. “I’ll see you in Dallas. Now go talk to Mallory,” she urged.
Brad watched the tall, thin woman walk toward her car as if she were on the runway of some Paris fashion house. He waved as she continued out of view.
Where would Mallory be now? And why had she acted as she had earlier? The last time they had been together, she’d told him their lives didn’t connect, that they weren’t on the same plane. Yet he’d seen the hurt in her eyes at his comment just a few minutes ago.
When they were together it was incredible. He liked her, liked talking to her and making love with her. Rosa had said what they had between them was obvious, almost visible. Brad knew he liked being around Mallory, but his feelings weren’t that deep. And he wasn’t scared. Or was he? Could Rosa be right? Did he really have a deep-seated fear? Was he so entrenched in the past that he didn’t even realize it? Ruled by a fear that made him push women away so he couldn’t be hurt by them? So he would be left alone again?
Of all the women he’d ever known, Mallory was the one most in tune with his feelings. Yet they weren’t a couple; both of them understood that.
Didn’t they?
Mallory received a message from every nurse and doctor in pediatrics that Brad wanted to see her. She ignored them all, r
etreating to the coma section. There was no medical emergency. She was aware of all her patients’ conditions. He could only want to talk about their conversation during lunch. She didn’t want to.
Mallory went straight to Margaret Keller, taking her hand and pouring out her emotions to the serene sleeper. Brad had told her exactly what she meant to him: nothing. And she didn’t need for him to elaborate. She didn’t want to be involved with him, either. She knew that, had known it from the very start. Yet she’d been pulled in by his charm, the compassion that seemed to be reserved for her and the children he cared for. She’d let herself fall victim to a false sense of promise. Without realizing it, she had hoped that Brad was falling in love with her.
She’d reluctantly let him into her life, into a vulnerable part of hers. She’d listened to his problems and hoped she was helping him work through them. She’d also hoped she was more than just a therapist or friend, but she knew the hard, cold truth now. A single comment to his sister told Mallory everything she needed to know. She was nothing to him and never would be. Brad Clayton was an island unto himself. He was not planning to sail away from it or to invite others to join him there. He was content, happy to be the master of his world, happy to control it as it was and as he wished it to remain.
There was more to the complicated Brad Clayton than the nurses knew. He wasn’t just a moody doctor with a huge chip on his shoulder. He was a man who didn’t like change. And Mallory represented change.
“It’s all right,” she said to Margaret. “I shouldn’t have let him get to me.” She held the woman’s hand, knowing being in the coma wing at this time of day would be suspect if she were discovered. “I wonder why he has that effect on me?” She looked at the silent coma patient. “Was there someone like that in your life? Sometimes I hate him and other times…” She stopped. What was she thinking? At other times, what? She loved him?
Mallory shook her head. She wasn’t in love with Brad. He was too moody, had too many problems. He didn’t need her or want her. No, that wasn’t the truth. She and Brad had made love, and if he didn’t want her he was the best actor in the world. She’d never felt so alive as when they were together.
She couldn’t be in love with Brad. It would screw up everything. She looked again at Margaret. She wasn’t the only one reaching out to people. Brad had his own kind of coma wing. He took care of children by day, at the hospital and in the shelter, but by night he prowled the streets, looking for lost ones to save. Mallory channeled her efforts into reaching the sleeping.
She stared at Margaret, listened to her breathing, watched the steady rise and fall of her chest. The woman slept on, oblivious to Mallory and her dilemma. After a long pause, Mallory finally admitted it. She was in love with Brad.
“Aren’t you the lucky one?” Dana Baldwin’s bright smile greeted a sleepy Mallory as she entered the hospital the next morning.
“What are you talking about?”
“The neurology conference in Dallas. The handsome Dr. Clayton is going to go with you.”
Dana made it sound like an enviable proposition. Mallory didn’t feel that way, especially after her afternoon with Margaret and her sleepless night thinking about what she’d discovered about herself.
“He’s not scheduled to go.” Mallory was presenting a paper at the conference in Dallas. She and several doctors from the trauma unit were attending, but Brad was not one of them.
“Plans have changed,” Dana said. Her flippancy grated on Mallory’s nerves. “I heard the good doctor requested to go.” Dana rolled her eyes. “I’ll bet his decision has something to do with you.”
“You’d lose that one.”
Mallory didn’t know what to think. She wavered between excitement at spending days with Brad and fear that she wouldn’t be able to conceal her true feelings if she was with him for any length of time.
“By the way, you should steer clear of Dr. Allen today. She knows about you and Brad and she has designs on the man.” Dana recaptured Mallory’s attention. What did the nurse mean about her and Brad? Mallory wouldn’t ask. She was in no condition to argue. Instead she thought of Dr. Stacy Allen, who made no secret of her attraction to Brad. But from what Mallory had seen, the affection wasn’t returned.
“There is no me and Brad. If she wants him, he’s hers.” She didn’t sound convincing even to herself.
“I think he might have something to say about that. Obviously he’s chosen you.”
They reached the doctor’s dressing room. Dana left Mallory with a smirk. Mallory opened her locker, putting her purse inside, where she kept a change of clothes and several pairs of shoes. She found the greatest drawback to being a doctor was the strain it put on her legs and feet. Changing shoes several times during her shift helped.
She closed the gray locker and spun the dial on her combination lock. Thoughts of Brad returned to her. He was going to Texas with her. Did he want her there when he met his mother? Mallory had acted as his therapist, first as a joke, though later he’d appeared to take it seriously. Was that the reason for him attending the conference?
Mallory saw her first patient moments after she left the staff room. From then on she had no time to think of anything except medical care. There were plenty of sick children in the pediatric department. She visited the ones she needed to see and kept to the busy schedule. She had no time to think about Brad until her lunch hour. When she walked into the cafeteria he was ahead of her in line. Unlike the day Rosa chose to visit, the place was nearly empty.
“I’ve been looking for you.” He said it casually, as if they frequently met for lunch and she was slightly late for today’s appointment.
“It’s a lot busier here than it was in the emergency department.” Mallory kept herself busy, trying to avoid running into him, but she had to see him every day for rounds. After that she would disappear into one of the children’s rooms or the playroom to help someone. She also spent her share of time in the operating room.
Brad had a sandwich and a container of yogurt on his tray. He added a cup of coffee and paid for both their lunches. Mallory didn’t protest. She didn’t want to cause another scene. When Rosa was here with them, they’d caused a stir by sitting together. Mallory followed him to a table and sat down. “I hear you’re attending the conference next week.”
He nodded, choosing his coffee over the other items on his tray.
“Why did you request to go?” she asked immediately.
He stopped and looked directly at her. “I’m going to tell my family about my mother and I’m going to see her. I want you to be there with me.”
Mallory forced the food in her mouth to go down her throat. Inside her something melted. She thought it was her heart. Brad had captured it. No matter that he didn’t want it, he held it nevertheless.
“Am I your therapist or moral support?”
“A little of both.”
“You don’t need me there. From what you’ve told me, you have a large support system with your family. One of your sisters is a psychologist.”
“It’s not the same.” Brad reached across the table and took Mallory’s hand. His fingers were warm and firm, and the effect the simple act had on her senses was devastating. “They’re too close. So many emotions are involved there. I need someone impartial.”
“And you think that’s me?” She hadn’t meant to say it aloud. The words were out before she could stop them. She was far from impartial.
“Yes,” he replied. They stared at each other across the table.
Mallory wanted to pull her hand away. She wanted to put her palms to her ears to try to calm the blood rushing through them. His voice had a unique combination of desperation and need in it. She was a doctor, sworn to take care of the sick. Brad was ill. He’d been sick a long time and finally there was a treatment for his particular disease.
Mallory knew it wasn’t a cure. At least not yet. This disease had metastasized. It would take a while to clear it from his system. But it was cura
ble.
And she had to be part of the cure.
The air in Texas had been thick and hot ever since Mallory got off the worst plane ride of her life. The flight had been smooth and the service excellent; the problem was Brad. She’d sat next to him throughout the three-hour trip. He’d been silent and uncommunicative. Despite her effort to draw him into a conversation, he’d appeared irritable and distracted. She tried to understand his mood, but frankly she was a little tired of it. The passing days hadn’t changed him, they’d only made him worse.
Mallory stood in her fifteenth-story hotel room, looking at the windows of buildings across the street. Brad was in the room next door. The clerk at the desk assumed they were together and had given them rooms with connecting doors. Mallory had kept her side locked.
She was sure Brad hadn’t been to see his mother yet. Mallory had seen him at most of the seminars she’d attended. She had the feeling he wanted to talk, maybe apologize, but time passed and he said nothing.
Had he called his family? Did they even know he was this close to them? His plans to come had been sudden, but from what he’d said about them, she’d assumed there would be a delegation of relatives at the airport complete with welcoming signs and balloons. But the group from Philadelphia General had gone to the taxi stand and on to the hotel without incident.
Mallory turned and stared at the connecting door. She wondered if Brad was in his room. The only time she was sure he was there was when he showered. Their bathrooms had adjoining walls and when the shower was on she could hear it. Not that the image in her mind was unpleasant, but the thought of that strong, healthy body lathered with soap, covered in cascading water, sent her senses into overdrive. There was no doubt in her mind that she was attracted to him. She had been since their first encounter. But if she was to list the qualities of her ideal mate, she would never choose someone who focused so inwardly. She needed someone to talk to her, share with her.
Crossing her arms, she acknowledged there was no chance of that. Brad had apologized for their one night of pleasure. Had said it was a mistake. She knew that, too.
Love on Call Page 12