by Taryn Quinn
Slowly, oh so slowly, she took all of him until there was only them meeting in every way. She cupped his face, watching his eyes as she slowly rose and fell over him. His jaw clenched and a muscle flexed in his cheek as she swirled her hips in time with each clasping stroke.
She tried to focus on how he felt instead of the tears that wanted to spiral up and take over each time he touched her. He gripped her hips, guiding her for a deeper thrust. Her head tipped back as pleasure crept in.
Instinct and desire took over as sweat slid down her spine and between them. It only added to the excitement, the scent of them and the way she softened to take him deeper. She shouted out his name, shuddering and shaking around him as he pulled her in. One arm came up her back, anchoring her to him until their mouths slanted against each other.
She wrapped her arms around him. They were a tangle of sweat and arms and her nose was buried in his neck. Somehow she held on to the sobs and simply quaked in his arms.
Always too much.
She didn’t understand why it had to be so overwhelming each time. She couldn’t breathe around the need and the emotions he pulled out of her so effortlessly. She laid her head on his shoulder, willing herself to calm.
“Darcy, sweetheart, I have to move.”
She leaned back. “Sorry.”
He cupped her cheek, drawing her gaze to his face. “Well, you know that silly thing about condoms.”
She smiled because she knew she was supposed to. Now she felt weird again. He was so easy with himself and her and she felt as if every nerve inside her was jangling. She stood, slipping her clothes back on while he was in the bathroom.
He’d hiked his jeans back up but left them unbuttoned. He was smooth muscle and ink topped with that half grin. She sat on the couch. “Can you grab my shirt?”
He detoured into the kitchen, coming back with a fresh beer and a soda for her as well as her shirt. “Need some fluids?”
She huffed out a halfhearted laugh. “Thanks.” She opened it and took a long drink.
He did the same and sat back, his feet sprawled out as he laced his fingers over his bottle. “How’d things go after I left?”
She tugged her shirt over her head and tucked her feet under herself as she nestled into the corner of his couch. “Really well.” She relaxed. The store she understood. “That was why I came over here. I didn’t mean to…”
“Use me for sex?”
“Ben!”
He laughed and tipped his beer up to his mouth. “You should see your face. Believe me, I don’t mind. Use me and abuse me at will, darlin’.”
“I came over here to tell you how impressed the Blackstones are with you.”
“I kinda got that since they want me to do the new place.”
“Yes, but what they didn’t tell you is Max Blackstone is definitely talking about your light show. He’ll be talking it up until you’re chock full of new customers.”
He sat up. “Yeah? That’s great.” He set his beer on the coffee table and turned toward her. “I’m glad I could help.”
She frowned. “You don’t seem too excited about it.”
“Of course I am.” He patted her knee. “I’ve been working on this for a long time. This was an awesome opportunity to try out my designs.”
“Didn’t you hear me? This could be a legitimate business.”
His grin slowly faded. “I have a legitimate business.”
“Oh, I know. But this could be huge.”
He crossed his arms. “What exactly do you think I do?”
“You said you have a tattoo shop.”
“Yeah, I have a business I run with my best friend, Cesar Luna. It’s not a little hobby shop, Darcy.”
“I didn’t say that.” She leaned forward. “I just mean you could make great money with this and have your designs in tons of homes.”
“Money isn’t everything. My art, that’s what’s important to me. I love Christmas so I wanted to make it fun and enchanting for families. Sure, it’s a nice side benefit that I could use it for businesses, but that’s not why I do this.”
She tucked her hands in each opposite sleeve and put her feet down. This was good news. Important news that could help him succeed. “I didn’t mean anything by it, Ben. I only—”
“I know. And for me I’m just glad to help someone out. Knowing that there will be kids sitting on Santa’s lap and looking up at the dancing lights? That’s the important part for me. The wonder is everything, Darcy. Do you even remember what it’s like to just sit and enjoy something for the pure joy of it?”
She clutched both her wrists inside the tubes of her sleeves. “That’s not fair.”
“I’m asking a legitimate question. I know I don’t know you very well—”
“No, you don’t. I take pride in my work, in making that store as successful as I possibly can.”
“That’s wonderful, Darcy.” His voice gentled. “But what do you love to do?”
“I—” She stopped. She loved her work. Loved her friends and finding new ways to make the store run smoother.
He moved to cup her cheek and she jerked back. He sighed and let his hand fall to his lap. “I’m sorry.”
“For what? Obviously I’m the one that needs to be sorry. I’m sorry I don’t have that pure selfless joy I can sprinkle around like pixie dust. I live in the real world where mortgages and taxes and people count on me.”
His eyebrows snapped down. “Hey, just because I can see the joy in the holidays and want to create something to give pleasure, that doesn’t mean I don’t know about responsibilities.”
“I’ve worked hard to get where I am.”
“I know that, I can see that.”
“I came over here to share my good news because I couldn’t share it with anyone else.”
“Why can’t you share it with anyone else?”
She wrapped her arms around her middle. “Because all my friends are from work.”
His dark eyes remained flat. “What about your mother?”
“She’s on a cruise.”
He pulled her hands away from her middle and gripped them. “All right, tell me.”
She shook her head. “What, so you can just ridicule me about it? I’ve worked my butt off at that place for twelve years. I deserve this promotion.”
“I didn’t mean it like that, Darcy. I just meant you only seem to work. I don’t see you ever doing anything just for the fun of it.”
“I like working.” That store was her life. The people in it were her family. More so than anything else she’d had. “Miriam is going to run the new store in Boston. They want me to become store manager.”
“That’s great.” He pulled her into his arms. “I’m happy you’ve achieved what you’ve worked for.”
She pressed her cheek into his chest, closing her eyes when the palm of his hand smoothed down her hair. This was why Christmas lovers and grinches didn’t mix. She knew he was happy for her, but he didn’t understand her. “I’m going to be really busy. Miriam has to train me to take her place in just a few months.” She knew the ins and outs of the store, but not the paper end. It was going to be a long process. An exciting one, but she’d be putting in even more hours than just the holiday rush kind.
His hand stilled in her hair. “Okay.”
The tone of his voice was careful. She just needed to rip it off like a Band-Aid. The store was her life. She’d never make Ben happy. He was a dreamer, she was a realist. Didn’t this just cement that?
She sat up. “I don’t have time for, well…for this.”
His dark eyes cooled. “Right.”
She leaned forward, cupping his face in her hands. “You need someone who loves Christmas and has time for you.”
He pulled out of her hold and stood. “You’re not giving me the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech, are you, darlin’?”
“No.” She stood as well. “I’m just stating facts.”
“No, you’re running away before thi
s gets interesting. If you wanted to make time to get to know me, to see if this went anywhere, you would. And I’m sorry for that. I haven’t felt like this— Well, I’ve never felt like this about a woman.”
Her stomach cramped and twisted. “Ben, I—”
“Hey, no.” He held up his hand. “I might be a nice guy, but I do have a little pride, Darcy. If you want to walk, there’s the door. It’s your house.”
She folded her arms. “I don’t want this to be weird.”
He laughed. A hollow, un-Ben sound. “We had a good time, right? A mutually satisfying fling. Tonight was just a nice footnote. I hope your promotion is everything you want it to be.”
Her eyes hurt, they were so dry. “I couldn’t have done any of this without you, Ben.”
“Sure you would have. You’re the most efficient and capable woman I’ve ever known, Darcy Tucker.”
God, why did that sound so insulting?
She’d worked hard to be every single one of those things.
“I guess I should go.”
Ben’s usually warm and flirty voice was flat. Not cold, just absolutely flat. “Thanks for stopping by.”
Thanks for the orgasm? She hurried to the front door and escaped to the porch. Resting her forehead on her own door, she turned the knob. Locked. “Just perfect,” she whispered and trudged to the back of her house. The bitter wind made her eyes water. Of course it was the wind.
Chapter Eleven
Ben climbed down from the ladder, tucking the last of the clips in his pocket. He couldn’t look at the house without wanting to hit his heavy bag every night. The only option was to take down the fucking lights.
She didn’t want them up anyway.
And he was tired of thinking about her all goddamn night. His brand new king-sized bed was forever ruined by one night with Darcy. He could still smell her on his pillow. He’d changed the sheets almost a week ago and still, she was there.
He unplugged and tore at the painstaking swirls he’d made around each of the small hedges that lined the front of the house. He wound them around his arm. He’d take the materials over to his brother’s house and set up a kickass display for Brittany.
That, at least, he could do. A few hours with his favorite kiddo would put him back to rights. He moved to the baby Japanese maple that sat in the center of her lawn. That one he’d leave. She’d have the little bit of decorations she needed to keep the Association off her back and still leave her to her Christmas-free world.
Perfect.
He threw the last bundle of lights and his ladder into the bed of his truck and headed out to his brother’s place. John lived in a modest little house on the other side of town. The neighborhood was a bit more rundown, the yards a little spottier with crabgrass and dying winter landscapes. But the houses were still well-tended for the most part and it was safe for Brittany to play outside with her friends.
Ben pulled up and spotted Brittany sitting on the front stoop, the dull thwack of a tennis ball against brick never stopping. That wasn’t good. Brit usually ran right over to him when he came to visit.
Her posture was stiff against the half wall of the brick surround porch. The right arm of her coat was pinned crookedly to her zipper to keep it out of the way. The white strap of an immobilizer showed against her neck.
“Hey, kiddo.”
“Hey, Uncle Ben.”
He squatted in front of her and tugged on the empty sleeve. “How’s the mend going?”
She sighed. “I wish it would go faster. I still have to wait three whole weeks! I told Dad it doesn’t even hurt anymore, but he won’t let me take this stupid thing off.” She shrugged and winced.
Sure it didn’t hurt. He tugged on her messy pigtail. Brit had been doing her own hair since well before school, but it was obvious John was helping out. “Where’s your dad?”
“Work.”
He glanced at his watch. John usually came home before his daughter got out of school on the days she wasn’t at the shop with him. “Is he running late?”
“He texted me. I told him it was okay.”
“You have your key, right?”
She resumed bouncing. “Yeah, I was just bored. He gets mad when I bounce the ball in the house.”
“Well, I thought I’d come over and decorate the outside. Want to help?”
Her huge brown eyes brightened, then dimmed. “How am I supposed to help with this stupid thing on?”
“You can feed the lights to me and tell me if they’re crooked or not.”
“So I get to tell you what to do?”
He laughed. “How did I know you’d be excited about that part?”
“I guess so.” She stood, a quick flash of pain in her eyes before they cleared.
He pulled her in for a quick hug. His heart melted a little when she looped her arm around his waist and pressed her cheek into his side. “Everything okay, squirt?”
She shrugged her good shoulder. “Yeah. Dad just forgot about the science fair at school today.”
Well, shit. Did he know about that? He’d hid himself at work for the last week. Cesar was going to take his half of the sign and run if he wasn’t careful. He brushed wispy tufts of hair that had fallen from her ponytail out of her eyes. “I’m sorry, baby. Did you win?”
A dimple winked as she grinned. “Third place! Want to see my ribbon?”
“Absolutely. Go grab it and get me a Diet Coke while you’re in there.”
“Okay!” She ran off with the sudden exuberance that only came out of an eight-year-old.
He unloaded his truck and hooked the ladder over his shoulder. By the time she came back he was unwinding a double set of the fat, traditional lights.
“See, Uncle Ben!” She skipped across the yard with a huge foam board under her arm. Awkwardly, she flipped open the tri-fold project. And indeed there was a large blue ribbon tacked to the top corner. “This is Saturn.”
He climbed back down the ladder and made the appropriate noises as she gave him an entire oral report about the planet from gasses to the rings. She’d drawn the planet, so this had to be something she’d worked on before the accident.
He took the board from her and oohed and ahhed about her ribbon until she was giggling. “Hey, why don’t you go set this up on the dining room table so it’s the first thing your dad sees when he gets home?”
“You think he’ll want to see it?”
He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. He hated the doubt that crept into her voice. “Off course he will. And I bet we’ll be able to convince him to order pizza tonight because he’ll feel so bad.”
“Pepperoni?”
“Is there any other kind?”
She raced back inside and Ben rubbed at the ache just above his eyes. He had to start paying attention to the people who were important in his life. Darcy didn’t want to have anything to do with him and he had to remember that. When Brit returned, he smiled down at her and tossed down a little baggie of clips.
“Think you can give me one of those when I ask for it? And make sure the lights stay untangled?”
“Piece of pie.”
He laughed. Neither one of them liked cake, so they renamed the saying. Kind of like Darcy did with her— Fucking hell. He turned to the roof edge and banished Darcy from his brain.
An hour later the sun was bleeding across the neighborhood full of ranch-style houses. He and Brit had the windows outlined in different colored strands and each square hedge decked out like ice cubes with rope lights.
The rumble of another truck dragged Ben’s attention away from his niece. His brother stepped out of the tow truck from the garage he worked at. John’s hangdog face had a few more lines under his eyes and he was sporting a calico beard. He shook his head. John never could grow a beard in one color.
“Hey, man,” John said tiredly.
“Hi, Daddy.” Brit fussed with her zipper.
“What, I don’t get a hug hello, Britzilla?”
She forced a brig
ht smile and hugged her father, pressing her cheek to John’s solid midsection. John brushed his hand over her messy cap of hair. His tired face couldn’t conceal the obvious love for his daughter.
“What have you guys been up to?”
She grinned up at him, both dimples denting her cheeks. “Uncle Ben-style Christmas of course!”
John pushed his ratty trucker cap off his head and scraped his mop of graying-brown hair out of his eyes. “Uncle Ben loves to run up my electricity bill.”
Ben gritted his teeth, but kept a smile. “LED, old man. No more than a nightlight in the bathroom.”
John grunted. “Well, come on in. Least we can do is get a pizza into you for your trouble.”
Ben glanced down at Brit. “Want to go grab some menus? We’ll be right behind you.”
“There’s coupons in the drawer.”
“Got it!” Brit raced off, veering only slightly thanks to her rig.
John crushed his hat in his hands. “What brings you out?”
Ben shrugged. “I have late shift tonight. Figured I’d come and hang with Brit. Spread a little Christmas cheer.”
His brother grunted. “Looks good.” He zeroed in on the bushes. “Ice cubes?”
“Yep. We’re going to put penguins on top when I come back. I bought them last year and stashed them in your garage.”
“Good luck finding anything in there.” John sighed. “Thanks for hanging with the kid. I got hung up.”
“You missed a science fair.”
“Ah, fuck.”
Ben clamped a hand his shoulder. “Just tell her how awesome it is as soon as you walk inside. She’s got it set up so it’s the first thing you see.”
John tipped his head back, his gaze focused on the sky. “I’m fucking up left and right lately.”
“It’s tough. But since Cindy left, you’ve been doing great.” Ben shouldered him. “Might want to use the calendar app on your phone though.”
John juggled his iPhone out of his pocket. “I don’t even know how to use this thing except to snap a picture of kidzilla.”
“Have Brit show you. She gets a kick out of being bossy.”