Dionne grabbed his hand, which was planted firmly around her neck, yet he wouldn’t release his grip. It was getting harder to breathe. “Roland…I…can’t breathe. The baby…”
Roland glared at her, his chest heaving, anger contorting his face. He slowly let her go and she dropped to her knees, rubbing her neck and crying uncontrollably.
“I hope your revenge was worth it,” he said as he shot her one last hateful look and walked out the door.
Chapter 34
Vanessa was so not in the mood to listen to the Richard Simmons look-alike as he chimed on about the sanctity of marriage. The portly, alabaster-colored man was driving her crazy already—and he’d just begun their first counseling session at the retreat. Sam, as he’d told everyone to call him, ran the marriage ministry of a local church with his wife, Lisa. They traveled the country talking to couples about their marriages, using spirituality as the basis for their counseling.
“I always tell people to seek help early,” Sam said, standing at the front of the room next to his wife. She was a petite brunette with deep dimples and eyes that seemed to sing. She was a good foot and a half shorter than him, yet they looked like the all-American couple. “The average couple waits six years before seeking help for marital problems—and half of all marriages that end do so in the first seven years,” Sam continued. “That means that the average couple lives with unhappiness for far too long.”
Vanessa glanced over at Thomas, who nodded as he listened attentively. He makes me sick to my stomach, she thought. If he’d been unhappy for so long, why had he stayed?
Vanessa had refused Thomas’s offer to ride to the retreat together, instead choosing to show up just one minute before it started. Even then she refused to speak to him. She just took a seat in one of the chairs set up in a circle around the room. In all, there were ten couples and Vanessa and Thomas were the only black pair, which made her even more uncomfortable about sharing their business. She just had to make it through the weekend and she’d be able to move on with her life.
“I also try to tell couples to edit themselves,” Sam continued sagely. “Couples who avoid saying every angry thought when discussing touchy topics are consistently the happiest. Happy couples have high standards for each other. The most successful are those who refuse to accept hurtful behavior from each other. The lower the level of tolerance for bad behavior in the beginning of a relationship, the happier the couple is down the road.”
Vanessa felt her resolve weakening as she wondered what Thomas was thinking. Was he upset with himself that he had accepted certain behaviors from her from jump? And was she really as bad as he had made her out to be?
Lisa smiled at her husband as she took over the conversation. “In a happy marriage, couples make five times as many positive statements to each other and their relationship than negative ones. A good marriage must have a rich climate of positivity. Make deposits to your emotional bank account.”
Lisa slowly scanned the circle before settling in on Vanessa. She smiled benevolently as she read the name tag. “Vanessa, what’s something positive you’ve said to”—she leaned over and read Thomas’s name tag—“your husband, Thomas, in the last six months?”
Vanessa couldn’t help but scowl at the woman. Why did she assume Vanessa was with Thomas? Maybe she was with the Asian man sitting next to her.
Vanessa contemplated blowing the woman off because she really didn’t want to do this silly crap. But every eye in the room was on her, so she finally said, “I told him that I hope the baby he is having with another woman is happy and healthy.”
Thomas bit down on his bottom lip. Both Lisa and Sam looked shocked, as did several other people in the room. Vanessa didn’t care. She wanted these people to see there was no chance of her and Thomas getting anything from these sessions.
“Oh. Okay,” Lisa replied, looking to her husband for relief.
“You know, before we get to the positive reinforcement exercises, there are a few more things I wanted to say,” Sam said smoothly, stepping in front of his wife. “Marriage today is very complex. In previous generations each partner knew what was expected of him or her; the roles were defined. If each partner filled those expectations, there was a reasonably good chance that the marriage would endure. Men and women cut each other a great deal of slack in other areas, so long as each played by the prescribed rules and fulfilled their socially defined roles.”
Lisa stepped back into the conversation, relieved that some of the tension was dissipating. “Of course, that’s the way it used to be done. Now people question what they want out of marriage. Families rely more upon hired domestic help in the form of housekeepers, caregivers, and day-care providers to fulfill many of the customary roles. Marriage began to take on a different meaning and serve a different purpose than was traditionally the case.”
Vanessa was tired of listening to them. She felt like she was back in school, the way they were rambling. They began talking about the role God played in marriage and how a strong relationship with God was essential in building a strong marriage. They intertwined their hands and smiled at each other again as they talked about all that God had done for their marriage. Vanessa released an exasperated sigh. They had to be faking all this bliss. Nobody was that doggone happy.
“God realizes that since a marriage involves two sinful human beings, divorce is going to occur,” Lisa said.
That caused Vanessa’s ears to perk up. Now they were talking a language she could relate to.
“As Matthew 5:32 tells us, the phrase ‘except for marital unfaithfulness’ is the only thing in Scripture that possibly gives God’s permission for divorce and remarriage,” Lisa continued.
“Bingo, I’m covered,” Vanessa said under her breath as she shot Thomas an evil look.
Sam stepped up the force in his voice, making Vanessa feel like he could hear her thoughts. “Sometimes lost in the debate over the exception clause is the fact that whatever ‘marital unfaithfulness’ means, it is an allowance for divorce, not a requirement for divorce,” he said. “Even when adultery is committed, a couple can, through God’s grace, learn to forgive and begin rebuilding their marriage. God has forgiven us of so much more. Surely we can follow His example and even forgive the sin of adultery.”
Vanessa was sick of hearing that line, too. Yes, she was well aware that God had forgiven us for so much more. But she wasn’t God, and as far as she was concerned, forgiveness simply wasn’t an option.
Chapter 35
Dionne heard the doorknob jiggling and she silently cursed.
“Open the door, Dionne. You can’t hide forever.” Rosolyn’s voice boomed through the front door. “I know you’re in there!”
She contemplated ignoring her, just as she’d been ignoring her calls for the last three days. But Dionne knew her sister. Rosolyn wasn’t going to go away.
She huffed, threw back the covers she had draped over her legs, and trudged over to the front door. Dionne pulled her robe around her swelling stomach and tightened her belt.
“Why are you so loud?” Dionne snapped, swinging the door open.
Rosolyn burst past her. “Why are you sitting up in this house like you lost your best friend?”
“Go away, Rosolyn,” Dionne said, plopping back down on the sofa. “Can’t you see I’m depressed here?”
Rosolyn made her way over to the window and flung open the curtains on the large bay window that overlooked the courtyard. “Get over it,” Rosolyn said. “People break up every day. You were too good for Roland anyway. While you’re sitting up here moping over that loser, there is a good man ready, willing, and able to treat you like the queen that you are.”
“Rosolyn, please don’t start.”
“Now you know I’m not about to let you sit up in this house moping. Okay, yes, you messed up by giving his wife that information. But he messed up, too. If he hadn’t ever cheated on you in the first place, this would’ve never happened. So he needs to accept some respons
ibility. And if he can’t see that, then it’s his loss.”
“If only I could get him to see that,” Dionne moaned. She was tired of crying. She’d shed so many tears that she felt like she was all cried out.
Rosolyn walked into the kitchen, grabbed an Ozarka water out of the refrigerator, and made her way back into the living room. “I’m telling you, baby sister,” she said, unscrewing the cap on the water, “it’s like Vanessa said, the best way to get over a man is get yourself another man. Get dressed. Bruce is on his way over.”
Dionne cut her eyes, totally annoyed. “I know you did not invite him over to my place?”
“Okay, I didn’t. But I should have.” Rosolyn sat down next to Dionne. “I’m serious, sis. I don’t like seeing you like this.”
Dionne sank back into the sofa, dejected. “I should’ve listened to you. You told me not to do anything I might regret. I did, now I’m paying the ultimate price.”
“What price? The fact that he broke up with you?” She tsked. “If you ask me, he did you a favor.”
Dionne turned to Rosolyn, her eyes misting. “Ros, I’m pregnant.”
Rosolyn almost choked on her drink. “Oh no, Dionne.” She looked at her in pity. “How’d you let that happen? And please don’t tell me you did it on purpose.”
“Of course I didn’t,” Dionne huffed. “I just messed up. We always use protection but with the stress of everything, I just missed a couple of days with my pills.”
Rosolyn paused, letting the news sink in. “How far along are you?”
“Four months, almost five. That’s why I really want me and Roland to work. I don’t want to become another statistic, somebody’s baby mama. Not to mention the fact that I love him.”
“Well, you know I’m a proponent of the family structure, but not if that family is dysfunctional.”
“My friend Melanie said just because I have a baby by him doesn’t mean I have to be with him. That’s what I keep telling myself,” Dionne deadpanned, recalling her conversation earlier that day where she’d told Melanie about the pregnancy.
“That’s what’s wrong with people today. We just don’t care about the family structure anymore. Children need to be raised in two-parent homes,” Rosolyn responded, shaking her head. “But two stable parents. And that other parent doesn’t have to be the baby’s biological father. It can be someone like Bruce.”
“I’m just saying, I had a plan mapped out. The baby was supposed to come after marriage.”
“You know what they say about the best-laid plans. Besides, that’s your problem, all caught up in following some life plan.”
Dionne exhaled in frustration. She didn’t know why she was even bothering. “Look, just respect me on this please?” She’d been calling Roland, but he had yet to answer. “Let me see your cell phone.” Dionne thought maybe he’d pick up if he didn’t recognize the number.
“No, that’s like me giving you a crack rock. I’m not contributing to your addiction to that man,” Rosolyn said defiantly.
“Give me the phone,” Dionne demanded.
Rosolyn groaned, but picked up her purse, pulled her phone out, and tossed it at Dionne.
Dionne took a deep breath and dialed Roland’s number. He answered on the second ring.
“Roland, it’s me. Can I—”
He hung up.
Dionne closed her eyes as she fought back tears. “I can’t believe this,” she said, slamming the flip phone shut.
Rosolyn sat with her legs crossed, shaking her head. “I can’t believe you’re going to sit here and let yourself be degraded like this.”
Dionne wiped her eyes. She guessed she wasn’t all cried out after all. “You just don’t understand, Rosolyn.” She sniffed.
Rosalyn stood up. “I understand that you want to sit here and have a pity party over Snoop Doggy Dogg. And if that’s what you want to do, then that’s your prerogative. But I want you to remember, it’s his loss, and baby or no baby, you need to suck it up and get yourself together.”
Dionne knew her sister was right. She had her baby to think about. And that baby was coming—with or without Roland in the picture.
Chapter 36
Vanessa couldn’t believe how much she was getting into the renovations at The Mason House. She stood back and surveyed the new mural being painted by several art students from Jack Yates High School. It was phenomenal. They were creating a park scene with kids playing on swings, dancing, playing jump rope and other games. The students had done an excellent job, even making some of the kids in the mural look exactly like some of the kids from the facility.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Rosolyn said, walking up behind her. “Girl, I just don’t know how to thank you.”
“I should be thanking you,” Vanessa replied. “With all this mess going on with me and Thomas, coming here is what’s keeping me sane.” She paused, then added sadly, “Although it’s not the same with Shelly gone.” It had only been a couple of weeks since Shelly went to live with the Taylors.
“Look at that girl in the green dress,” Vanessa continued, pointing to the mural. “It looks just like Shelly.”
Rosolyn’s hand went to her mouth. “Oh, my goodness. I can’t believe I didn’t tell you this. I’ve been so busy. The Taylors’ adoption will be finalized today.”
“What?” The sinking feeling Vanessa had felt before just knowing Shelly was with the Taylors intensified at the thought of everything becoming official. She told herself, for the hundredth time, that she wanted Shelly to find a permanent home.
She nodded, still unable to say anything.
Rosolyn patted her sister’s back reassuringly. “But she gave you her information. The Taylors are nice people. I’m sure they’ll let you see her.”
Just then Rosolyn’s assistant came barreling into the room. She had a frantic look on her face. “Mrs. Frazier, we have a problem.”
Rosolyn furrowed her brow. “What is it?”
Before she could answer, they heard a loud cry from the front lobby. Rosolyn took off, Vanessa and her assistant close behind her.
“Nooooo! Please don’t bring me back! I promise I’ll be good!” Shelly was there, crying hysterically. Her hair was parted into two ponytails, giving her a more childish look. Bright pink ribbons were wrapped around each ponytail, and she wore a pink frilly dress and pink patent leather shoes. She was hugging a tall man who was crying, too.
“I’m sorry, baby girl,” he said, trying to pull her off him.
“What is going on?” Rosolyn asked sternly, stopping in front of them.
Shelly pulled away from the man, saw Vanessa standing behind Rosolyn, and raced toward her.
“They don’t want me!” Shelly cried. “Why doesn’t anyone want me? Why does God hate me so much?”
Vanessa had no idea what had happened, but tears filled her eyes at the sight of Shelly so hysterical.
“Mr. Taylor, do you mind telling me what is going on?” Rosolyn demanded. “What happened?”
Mr. Taylor fidgeted nervously. “It’s not her. She’s a wonderful child. It’s just…” He looked down at the floor.
“Just what?” Rosolyn said.
“It’s just that it’s too painful for us. When we got her home and…and my wife…she just couldn’t take it.”
“I tried on her dress. I didn’t know,” Shelly cried. “I’m sorry. It was just so pretty. I just wanted to see how it would look. It was hanging in the closet. But she saw me in the dress and she lost it. She started screaming and yelling at me. I didn’t know.”
“Shhhh,” Vanessa said, stroking the back of her head.
Several people had started to gather around and stare. Rosolyn turned to her assistant. “Please take Shelly to my office.”
When the assistant tried to pull the girl away from Vanessa, she clung tighter, her wails growing louder.
Vanessa said, “I got her. I’ll take her back.”
Vanessa walked Shelly into the office, where they could have some pri
vacy. It took her almost fifteen minutes, with Shelly quivering and crying into her chest, to calm the little girl down. And once she did calm down, she sank into a quiet depression.
Ten minutes after that a defeated Rosolyn walked into her office. A strained silence filled the air.
Rosolyn reached up to stroke one of Shelly’s ponytails, but Shelly moved her head out of the way.
“Sweetie, it’s not you…” Rosolyn began.
Shelly stood and brushed her hands down her skirt like she was trying to compose herself. “I shoulda known better than to get all excited. Don’t nobody want me,” she calmly said.
“Shelly—” Rosolyn said.
“It’s cool,” Shelly said, her voice quavering. “I’m used…” She turned and ran out the office door before finishing her sentence.
Both Rosolyn and Vanessa had tears in their eyes.
“Shouldn’t you go after her?” Vanessa asked.
Rosolyn shook her head. “No. Unfortunately, Shelly has been down this road a few times. She prefers a little quiet time to herself. I’ll go talk to her later.”
“You mean this has happened to her before?”
“Not quite to this extreme,” Rosolyn said, agonizing over Shelly, “but this is the third time she’s had something promising fall through.”
“What? But she’s such a sweet girl.”
“I know, but she’s also a preteen, and everyone wants babies and young kids. But this time it wasn’t about her age. The Taylors’ daughter died in a car accident. She would’ve been Shelly’s age, and when they saw her in that dress, Mr. Taylor said his wife went ballistic. It made them realize they weren’t ready to replace their daughter.”
“They were trying to replace their daughter?”
Rosolyn nodded sadly.
“Then it’s a good thing she didn’t go with them,” Vanessa said with defiance.
“I know, but it’s not such a good thing for Shelly. I don’t know how much more heartbreak that little girl can take.”
Can I Get a Witness? Page 16