“When you can’t do it all, you feel ashamed and give up”: Jon Acuff, Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done (New York: Portfolio, 2017), 36.
evidence for the motivating power of “small wins”: See Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer, The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work (Brighton, MA: Harvard Business Review Press, 2011).
“After going to grayscale, I’m not a different person”: Nellie Bowles, “Is the Answer to Phone Addiction a Worse Phone?,” New York Times, January 12, 2018.
“As each passing year converts … experience into automatic routine”: William James, The Principles of Psychology, vol. 1 (New York: Dover, 1950), 625.
“your experience of life would be twice as full as it currently is”: Young, The Science of Enlightenment, 31.
“to figure out who this human being is that we’re with”: Tom Hobson in conversation with Janet Lansbury, “Stop Worrying About Your Preschooler’s Education,” available at www.janetlansbury.com/2020/05/stop-worrying-about-your-preschoolers-education.
Susan Jeffers suggests in her book Embracing Uncertainty: Susan Jeffers, Embracing Uncertainty: Breakthrough Methods for Achieving Peace of Mind When Facing the Unknown (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2003).
“I have discovered that all the unhappiness of men”: Pascal, Pensées, 49.
“Nothing is harder to do than nothing”: Jenny Odell, How to Do Nothing (New York: Melville House, 2019), ix.
Acknowledgments
This book took its time. I feel tremendously grateful to everyone who allowed it to do so, and who shaped it in many invaluable respects along the way. And I hereby forgive all those friends who thought it would be funny to point out that a book on the finitude of time was taking up so much of it. (And it was funny, sort of, on the first couple of occasions…)
This project would have gotten precisely nowhere without Tina Bennett, agent extraordinaire, whom I thank both for her expert guidance and unwavering support, and for many insights that are embedded in this book. I was also extremely fortunate to work with Tracy Fisher at WME, along with her colleague in London, Matilda Forbes Watson. Among the numerous people at FSG to whom I owe gratitude, I’ll mention here especially my editor Eric Chinski, who (besides demonstrating enormous patience) vastly improved the text and pushed me to get much clearer on my ideas; and Julia Ringo, for handling the intricate later stages of editing with such expertise. Much thanks also to Lottchen Shivers and her colleagues in the publicity department, and to Judy Kiviat, Maureen Klier, Christine Paik, and Chris Peterson. Stuart Williams at The Bodley Head provided indispensable editorial comments. That so much of this time and attention was bestowed while schools and offices were closed as a result of the coronavirus pandemic makes me all the more appreciative.
I first explored many of the topics discussed here in other venues, working with talented people including Melissa Denes, Paul Laity, Ruth Lewy, Jonathan Shainin, and David Wolf at The Guardian; Zan Boag at New Philosopher; and Peter McManus at the BBC. Conversations with Lila Cecil, Jon Krop, Robin Parmiter, and Rachel Sherman were crucial to these ideas taking shape as a book. The following people also generously contributed their wisdom in the course of my research: Jessica Abel, Jim Benson, Stephanie Brown, Carl Cederström, James Hollis, Derrick Jensen, the late Robert Levine, Geoff Lye, Antina von Schnitzler, María Martinón Torres, Jennifer Roberts, Michael Taft, Rebecca Wragg Sykes, and Shinzen Young. Ashley Tuttle provided a wonderful place to work at a critical moment and I was lucky, once again, to write much of the rest of this book at Brooklyn Creative League, where Neil Carlson and Erin Carney have established a warm and supportive community. I’m very thankful for the friendship and conversation of Kenneth Folk and Maxson McDowell as well.
One temporal threshold I crossed while writing this book: I’ve now known Emma Brockes for more of my life than I haven’t. I’m very glad about that, and for the fact that our children are now friends. Many conversations with her, some of which involved her talking me off metaphorical ledges, went into this book. Deep thanks also to my parents, Steven Burkeman and Jane Gibbins; my friends from York; my sister, Hannah, along with Alton, Layla, and Ethan; Jeremy, Julia, Mari, and Merope Mills; June Chaplin; and the Crawford-Montandon family.
No handful of sentences will do justice to Heather Chaplin’s role in my life, but let me say here anyway how ridiculously grateful I am for her love, partnership, humor, and integrity, and for the many sacrifices she made for this book. Our son, Rowan, arrived not long after work on it began. It would be a mischaracterization (let’s put it that way) to suggest that this development helped speed the book toward completion, but the transformative experience of getting to know him is certainly reflected in these pages. Unlimited love to you both.
My dear grandmother Erica Burkeman, whose childhood departure from Nazi Germany I describe in chapter 7, died in 2019 at the age of ninety-six. I don’t know whether she would have read this book, but she would definitely have told everyone she met that I had written it.
Index
The index that appeared in the print version of this title does not match the pages in your e-book. Please use the search function on your e-reading device to search for terms of interest. For your reference, the terms that appear in the print index are listed below.
Abel, Jessica
accepting who you are
Acuff, Jon
Adams, Scott
addiction; alcoholism; to speed
afterlife, eternal life
Alcoholics Anonymous
alcoholism
Allen, David
Allen, Woody
All Said and Done (Beauvoir)
Amazon
annoyances
antidepressants
anxiety; and addiction to speed; and worry about the future
Apple Pay
architect from Shiraz, fable of
Arendt, Hannah
Aristotle
atelic activities
attention; attention economy; as finite resource; involuntary and voluntary; social media and; see also distraction; focus
Auschwitz
authentic relationship with life
autocratic leaders
avoidance: of emotions; of finitude
babies
Bach, Richard
Back to Sanity (Taylor)
Bakewell, Sarah
Ballard, Bruce
Barry, Tonianne DeMaria
Bauer, Felice
Beauvoir, Simone de
Beck, Charlotte Joko
being
Being and Time (Heidegger)
Bennett, Arnold
Benson, Jim
Bergson, Henri
billable hours
birthday cards
Bobin, Christian
Boice, Robert
Bolt, Usain
boredom
Borges, Jorge Luis
Bowles, Nellie
Boy with a Squirrel (Copley)
Bradatan, Costica
Branson, Richard
British Museum
Brod, Max
Brown, Stephanie
Brueggemann, Walter
bucket list
Buddhism
budget goods
Buffett, Warren
burnout
bus parable
busyness
BuzzFeed
Cain, David
Calment, Jeanne
Calvinism
capitalism
caring, consolidation of
Carnegie Mellon University
causal catastrophe
certainty
chance occurrences
charitable causes
childhood
Chödrön, Pema
choices and decisions; diminishment or enlargement from; distraction and
clearing the decks
clocks
Coast of Utopia, The (Stoppard)
collaboration
> comfort
commitment
communal type of freedom
community; coordinating time with others
competence, assumptions of
completed versus uncompleted tasks, focus on
convenience
Cope, Stephen
Copley, John Singleton
coronavirus pandemic
cosmic insignificance therapy
Cotton Merchants in New Orleans (Degas)
Coutts, Marion
Covey, Stephen
Cowan, Ruth Schwartz
Crater Lake
Crowley, Ambrose
curiosity, in relationships
dance
Danforth Avenue shootings
deadlines
death; brushes with
decisions, see choices and decisions
Decline of Pleasure, The (Kerr)
Deep Green Resistance
Deep Work (Newport)
Degas, Edgar
de Graaf, John
Dickstein, Morris
digital distractions
digital nomads
discomfort; inevitability of; with rest; of what matters
distraction(s); choice and; digital; and discomfort of what matters; inner urge toward; job as; strategies for defeating; see also attention
doing nothing
doing things for the last time
Dolly the sheep
“done list”
dot-com boom
Dreaver, Jim
driving
Du Cann, Charles Garfield Lott
Duesterberg, James
Eberle, Gary
Ecclesiastes
“Economic Possibilities for Our Grandchildren” (Keynes)
education
efficiency
egocentricity bias
Egyptian pharaohs
Eigenzeit
Eisenstein, Charles
Eliot, T. S.
email
Embracing Uncertainty (Jeffers)
emotional avoidance
eternal life, afterlife
eternity
evolution
existential overwhelm
Facebook
failing at things
fear of missing out (FOMO)
fika
finitude: avoidance and denial of; facing; future and; limit-embracing life and; ten tools for embracing
First Things First (Covey)
Floyd, George
focus; relentless; see also attention
Foss, Clive
Frankfurt, Harry
Frankl, Viktor
freedom; communal; individualist
friction of daily life
frustrations
future; certainty about; finitude and; focus on; imagined; not minding what happens in; parenting advice and; planning for, see planning; targets in; worry and anxiety about
Gambuto, Julio Vincent
Gay, Tyson
generosity, instantaneous
Getting Things Done (Allen)
Gilbert, Daniel
Gilbert, Elizabeth
Gilbert, Jack
Glamour
Gleick, James
goalpost-shifting
goals
Goldstein, Joseph
Goodin, Robert
Gopnik, Adam
grandes vacances
grandiosity
grassroots politics
gratitude
Gray, John
Greeks, ancient
Grudin, Robert
Hägglund, Martin
Hall, Edward T.
Happiest Guy in the World, The
happiness; and coordinating time
Harris, Malcolm
Harris, Sam
Harris, Tristan
Hartig, Terry
Harvard Art Museum
Harvard University
Heidegger, Martin
Helsinki bus station parable
Henry VIII, King
hiking
Hindu mythology
Hitler, Adolf
hobbies
Hobson, Tom
Hofstadter, Douglas
Hofstadter’s law
Hollis, James
Holloway, Richard
hope
Horn, Stacy
housewives
How to Live on 24 Hours a Day (Bennett)
human disease
human history; duration of; unchanging or cyclical view of
hustle
Iceberg, The (Coutts)
impatience; driving and; reading and; societal; technology and
impossible standards
Inbox Zero
incrementalism, radical
individualist type of freedom
Industrial Revolution
internet; see also social media
iPhone
James, William
Jeffers, Susan
Jensen, Derrick
Jesus
Jobs, Steve
joy of missing out
Jung, Carl
Kafka, Franz
Kali Yuga
Kaveny, Cathleen
Keeping Together in Time (McNeill)
Keesmaat, Sylvia
Kerr, Walter
Keynes, John Maynard
Kii Mountains
Krech, Gregg
Krishnamurti, Jiddu
Kristallnacht
labor-saving devices
Lafargue, Paul
Landau, Iddo
Land Between
Larin, Yuri
last time, doing things for the
lawyers
leisure, see rest and leisure
LibriVox
Licata, David
life: actions that don’t reach fruition during; as dress rehearsal while you acquire skills; “hacks” for; as journey toward becoming the person you ought to be; as meaningless; provisional; purpose of; questions to ask about; as separate from time; validation from others about; “well spent”; work-life balance
lifespan(s); centenarian, chain of
Life’s Work, A
limitation, paradox of
limit-embracing life
living in the moment
loneliness
loss
Lubbock, Tom
Lye, Geoff
Magee, Bryan
Mahabharata
Manhattan, SS
Manson, Mark
Man’s Search for Meaning (Frankl)
marching
Markovits, Daniel
marriage
Master Your Time, Master Your Life (Tracy)
Matthews, Jay Jennifer
McGuire, Hugh
McNamee, Roger
McNeill, William
meaningfulness, standard of
medieval times
meditation; Do Nothing
Mexico
microwave oven
midlife
Midlife (Setiya)
mindfulness
Minkkinen, Arno
More Work for Mother (Cowan)
mosque design, fable of
Mount Koya monastery
multitasking
Mumford, Lewis
mundane, novelty in
music
Nagel, Thomas
Nazi Germany
neglect, creative
Netflix
network goods
neurosis
Newport, Cal
New South Wales
New York Times
Nhat Hanh, Thich
Nietzsche, Friedrich
nomads; digital
northern lights
nothing, doing
not minding what happens
novelty in the mundane
Odell, Jenny
Ohanian, Alexis
OkCupid
Oliver, Mary
Onion, The
On Settling (Goodin)
On the Shortness of Life (Seneca)
Oppenheim, Lance
originality and unoriginality
Origins of Totalitarianism, The (Arendt)
Orwell, George
ostracization
overwhelm; existential
pain points
painting-viewing exercise
parenting
Parkinson, C. Northcote
Parkinson’s law
Parks, Tim
Pascal, Blaise
past
patience; and developing a taste for having problems; and embracing radical incrementalism; and originality as lying on the far side of unoriginality; painting-viewing exercise for developing; power of; strengthening muscle of; three principles of
paying yourself first
Peck, M. Scott
perfection and paralysis
Personal Kanban (Benson and Barry)
persuasive design
Petersen, Anne Helen
Pilkington, James
Pirsig, Robert
Piver, Susan
planning; giving yourself more time than you think you need; long-range
pleasure; decline of; see also rest and leisure
politics; grassroots
Pomodoro Technique
possibility shock
postponing important things
Pravda
predestination
present; future-focused attitude and; as journey toward becoming the person you ought to be; living in the moment
priorities; middling
problems; developing a taste for
procrastination; bad kind of; creative neglect; inevitability of; perfection and; in relationships
productivity; community and; “debt” of; “fixed volume” approach to; hobbies and; impossible standards of; individual time sovereignty and; pathological; radical incrementalism and; rest and; rocks in the jar parable and; at work; see also time management systems
Project: Time Off
projects: focusing on one at a time; number of
Protestant work ethic
provisional life
purposiveness
Radically Condensed Instructions for Being Just as You Are (Matthews)
Railway Modeler
reading
relationships; and coordinating time; curiosity in; decisions about; marriage; procrastination in; settling in
religious beliefs and practices: Buddhism; Calvinism; eternal life; Hindu mythology; Kali Yuga; Mahabharata; predestination; Protestant work ethic; sabbath; Sermon on the Mount; Tao Te Ching
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