by Лорен Уиллиг
"I wore wool."
Thank goodness she knew how to swim. Not well, but enough to keep her from sinking straight to the bottom. Wearing men's clothing, she stood more of a chance than she would have in skirts. She would just have to pretend to go under and swim furiously toward the other bank.
"And don't think you'll be able to swim," advised Jasper, clearly deriving great pleasure from Letty's discomfiture. "Swimming ought to be quite difficult after a blow to the head."
"Blows to the head bleed badly," countered Letty, pressing back against the side of the wagon. The vial of sleeping potion was still in her waistcoat pocket, but there was no way she could administer it. As for the whistle, she could blow until she was blue in the face; no one would hear her above the rattle of wheels, and even if they did, no one would care. That left only the embroidery scissors. Embroidery scissors. She had as much hope of storming a citadel with a thimble. "If you won't think of me, think of your waistcoat. It's too fine to mar."
With a particularly unpleasant smile, Jasper leaned forward. Reversing his grip on the gun, he raised it high above her head.
"That's a risk I'll just have to take."
* * *
Letty was right; Jasper's sideburns were unbecoming.
They wouldn't be all that was unbecoming by the time Geoff was through with him. Jasper was long overdue for a damned good thrashing. Geoff charged toward his horse, before being brought up short by the realization that he hadn't brought one. Damn. He had no hope of catching them on foot. For such a rickety vehicle, Jasper's wagon was receding at an alarming pace. Ahead of him, children and livestock played in the street, carts rumbled past on their way back from market, and weary laborers trudged home from work. The throng of early traffic had slowed Jasper's progress, but it had not stopped him.
Geoff stopped a man leading a tired-looking nag. Whatever the animal's usual function was, it was not a riding horse.
"Here," said Geoff, tossing him a handful of coins without bothering to see what they were. "Buy yourself another horse."
Keeping hold of the bridle, the man tested a coin with his teeth, saying laconically, "I dunno, sir. She's a fine animal, sure and she is…"
Up ahead, Jasper drew something that glistened darkly in the summer sunlight before disappearing again below the level of sight.
The small form next to him went very still.
Fear such as he had never felt before froze through Geoff's veins like congealed January.
Swinging up on the surprised animal's bony back, Geoff lobbed his entire purse at the man with the precision that had made him the toast of the fourth-form cricket team. "Here. This should do."
The heavy pouch whapped the man straight in the chest. Staggering back, he released his grip on the bridle. With one swift kick, Geoff was away, guided by a single, overwhelming imperative: to catch up with his cousin and apply that gun where it would hurt the most.
"You coulda had 'er for a shilling!" floated down the street after him.
Leaning low over the nag's neck, Geoff wove around a dog-cart, a man with a wheelbarrow, and a remarkably unconcerned pig, taking a brief detour into the gutter as he skirted impatiently around a carriage that refused to grant him the right of way.
Jasper was making north, toward the river. Toward the river and the suburbs beyond? The area to the north of the city was still largely undeveloped, a perfect place to cache an unwilling hostage, far away from the great throng of humanity, and the last place anyone would think to look. That must be what Jasper was planning to do, stow Letty away somewhere and use her as a bargaining chip for whatever his latest selfish scheme was—a commission in a better regiment, his debts paid off, his allowance increased. Jasper's desires ran along fairly predictable lines.
But that gun made Geoff nervous. Very nervous. Even if Jasper didn't actually intend to use it, the lurching of the wagon on the uneven surface of the paving stones made its going off a deadly probability. One jolt of the wagon, one inadvertent flex of the fingers…
Geoff was gaining, but not quickly enough.
Why in the hell hadn't he sent Jasper packing back to England the moment he had turned up in front of St. Werburgh's the week before? He ought to have shoved two months' allowance into his hand, marched him straight down to the docks, and personally supervised his removal.
He hadn't thought. He hadn't been thinking. And if he had thought, he would have assumed that the very circumstances of his union with Letty would protect her. The prospect of heirs might well spur Jasper to violent action—Jasper had been holding his creditors at bay for years on the strength of his expectancy in the Pinchingdale estate—but who was less likely to produce heirs than an unwanted wife? As far as Jasper knew, Geoff was courting the favors of Miss Gilly Fairley, which was not a course of action conducive to the begetting of legitimate heirs.
Unless Jasper had seen through the ploy. Indolent Jasper might be, vindictive and venal and selfish, but he was not without a certain raw cunning. And he had known Geoff for a very long time. Those summer holidays they had been forced to spend together at Sibley Court, "playing nicely," had left neither unscarred.
If Jasper realized that Geoff and Letty's marriage had become something more than a sham…
Geoff urged his horse forward, as if by the application of speed he could outrun the misbegotten images propagating through his mind.
It could all happen so quickly. A trigger pulled. A shot muffled by proximity. A limp body tossed out the side of the carriage like so many old clothes. A sea of empty words sloshed through his mind—duty, obligation, and responsibility.
None of them meant a thing next to the raw sensation of panic that washed over him at the thought of Jasper firing that gun. No more ginger hair poking him in the nose when he woke up in the morning; no more tart remarks; no more Letty. The idea of going back to England without Letty made his head echo with the very emptiness of it, as bleak and barren as the black-shrouded corridors of Sibley Court after the smallpox had swept through. Next to it, his despair at being balked of Mary was reduced to what it had been, a child crying after a toy in a window, more pique than pain. But Letty…
He couldn't lose her. Not now.
With an unmistakable motion, Jasper hefted his weapon, angling the solid wooden stock to come crashing down on Letty's unprotected head. Grabbing his wrist, Letty pushed back for all she was worth, but Jasper, stronger by far, was winning. Letty's arms bent back inch by painful inch, incapable of withstanding Jasper's superior force.
In the midst of it all, Jasper laughed, a great, unpleasant guffaw.
With red rage ringing through his ears, Geoff drew abreast, poised to leap from the animal's back into the back of the wagon.
The entire world exploded into chaos.
A comet of flame burst through the roof of the house on Patrick Street, seeming to set the very air on fire with a hail of fiery flecks. Horses reared and pigs squealed as debris ricocheted off the paving stones. Bent bits of metal clattered against the cobbles and carts careened into one another in blind confusion as a sulfurous cloud swept down the street, borne by the evening breeze like a whiff straight from the inner reaches of hell.
Through the screaming, crying confusion, Geoff could vaguely make out Miss Gwen, striding jauntily away from the blazing building as she neatly dusted off her parasol against her trousers.
Even the placid beast dragging Jasper's wagon did what any sensible animal would do. He bolted. Or rather, he tried to bolt. Given the three carts piled up in front of him, he didn't get terribly far, but the abrupt motion yanked the reins from between Jasper's knees and made the cart rock dangerously back and forth. The ancient slats creaked in a way that boded ill for the inhabitants.
Jasper lunged for the dangling ribbons, leaving the pistol wavering half-forgotten in his other hand.
Giving a silent cheer for Geoff and Miss Gwen, Letty seized the moment. Whipping out her embroidery scissors, she slammed the points deep into back of Jas
per's hand. Howling, Jasper dropped the gun, flapping his wounded hand in the air and cursing loudly enough to drown out any number of explosions.
The weapon fell clattering to the baseboard. Letty dove for the gun. Jasper dove for Letty. The horse, meanwhile, had found a little clump of grass and was placidly engaged in munching, relieved that the maniac on the box was leaving him be for a bit.
Ha! There was the pistol, right by Jasper's boot. Letty's fingers brushed the barrel just as an agonizing pain shot through her scalp.
The gun skittered out of reach as Jasper hauled her up by the hair. Like the knell of a penny disappearing down a wishing well, Letty could hear the reverberations as the gun tumbled out the side of the wagon and clattered against the spokes of the wheel before clanking down onto the paving stones with one final, conclusory clunk.
Well, if she didn't have it, at least neither did Jasper.
Unfortunately, Jasper had other means at his disposal, means far more lethal than a dented pair of embroidery scissors. He sent Letty reeling back with one casual swipe of the back of his hand. Letty's head connected with the edge of the cart with a force that made flashes of light explode in front of her eyes, blocking all thought except for the searing reality of pain.
With some dim notion of following the way of the gun, Letty let herself slide down off the seat, and began crawling along the baseboard. The wood abraded her palms, and her head ached, throbbing front and back.
The pain made her angry.
Anger was good. Letty used it to fight back a weakening wave of dizziness. Somehow, if she could only find a way out of the cart…
Jasper hauled her up by the back of her collar, thrusting her back onto the seat. He shook his hand in her face, splattering blood across the grimy gray of her cravat. Clearly, he was beyond worrying about bloodstains on his waistcoat.
Jasper's lips peeled back from his teeth in a way reminiscent of wolves in fairy tales. "I'll make you sorry for this," he snarled, yanking Letty up by the cravat.
Letty clawed ineffectually at the hand holding her by the throat, gasping for breath.
"By the time I'm through with you, you'll wish you'd never seen a scissor. I'll—"
"You'll what?" a new voice demanded.
Chapter Thirty
With a low growl, little more than a rumble in the throat, Jasper dropped Letty. Letty couldn't have been more delighted.
The wagon lurched precipitately as Geoff leaped into the wagon bed, landing in a fighter's crouch in the well-used straw. Sensing the change in weight, the horse flicked its ears briefly back, before he went back to munching on his patch of grass, leaving the silly humans to their own devices.
"Would you care to repeat that—to me?" Geoff demanded, a dangerous glint in his gray eyes. "Or do you only war on women these days, Jasper?"
Slumping against the side of the wagon, Letty dragged in a labored breath, her cramped lungs sluggishly resuming work. Her cheek ached, the back of her head ached, her chest ached, but at the sight of Geoff, she could feel a wild exultation flood through her, headier than air.
Somewhat less enthused by the new addition to their party, Jasper turned slowly to face his cousin, his brows drawing together over the long Norman nose that was one of the few features they shared.
"I had other plans for you, cousin, but this will do just as well, when you and your lady wife"—nursing his bleeding hand, Jasper glowered at Letty, turning the word "lady" into the worst sort of slur—"are found dead, murdered by an anonymous footpad."
"It's so nice to find you finally pursuing a gainful occupation," replied Geoff. "But I suggest you find someone else to go bother."
"Oh, you can mock," replied Jasper. He flexed his hands as he stalked, one booted foot, then the other, up onto the wagon seat. He loomed over the box, the very image of menace. "Mock all you like. You won't be mocking—urgh!"
All his energies focused on his cousin, Jasper never saw the small form creeping purposefully along the box behind him. He didn't feel the two hands press against his back until it was too late.
Arms flailing, Jasper tumbled over the edge of the seat. With a crash that rocked the entire vehicle and sent little bits of straw spurting into the air, he landed facedown in the wagon bed.
Geoff jumped nimbly back as Jasper went sprawling at his feet.
A faint groan emerged from the straw.
"And that," said Letty distinctly, brushing off her hands, "is quite enough from you."
Geoff's eyes, alight with admiration, met Letty's over Jasper's fallen form.
"Nicely done," he said.
"Thank you." Letty regarded her handiwork with some satisfaction. "I thought so."
Jasper's bloodied face rose from the straw to glower malevolently at Letty. "My nose is broken, you—"
Geoff's foot descended heavily on Jasper's back, turning whatever the last word might have been into a loud whoosh of air. "Choose your words carefully. That's my wife you happen to be addressing."
"You should be thanking me," Jasper said thickly, spitting out blood and straw. "I was going to do you a favor. I was going to rid you of that—oof."
"Don't do me any more favors," said Geoff dryly. "Particularly not like that one."
"Hear, hear," seconded Letty, rubbing her sore throat.
At the sight of the purpling bruises on Letty's cheek and neck, an unreadable expression flickered across Geoff's face. With an almost casual air, he shifted more weight onto Jasper's back.
"It appears that you and I need to have a little chat, to prevent a recurrence of today's events. Let's just get this over with now, shall we?"
Jasper groaned.
"Good. I'm glad you agree."
Removing his foot, Geoff paced in a deliberative circle around Jasper's fallen form. Jasper's head shot up like a turtle out of its shell. He licked his bloodied lips, warily watching his cousin.
"Let me be plain," Geoff said conversationally, folding his arms and looking down his nose at his cousin. "There are a number of unpleasant things I could do to you. I could bring you up on charges of attempted murder. I could personally dismember you with Letty's embroidery scissors—yes, I believe you have encountered them already—snip by painful snip. Or"—Geoff paused, allowing that attractive image to have time to impress itself upon Jasper's imagination—"I could tell your mother."
Genuine terror flashed across Jasper's bloodied face.
"You wouldn't," he blustered.
"I will," Geoff replied implacably. "Unless—but no."
Jasper propped himself up on an elbow, watching his cousin narrowly. "No, what? What?"
"I personally vote for the embroidery scissors," put in Letty. She dangled them from one finger, just within Jasper's line of vision. "But only if I get the first snip."
"We might," Geoff suggested mildly, "be able to forgo the embroidery scissors—and your mother—if you were to go far away. Very far away."
"How far away?" asked Letty warily. No matter what Jasper might promise now, she didn't trust him not to reappear with a wagon at the ready and a gun in hand whenever he thought he might be able to get away with it. And there was no guaranteeing that she would have her embroidery scissors in hand.
Geoff smiled at her over Jasper's recumbent form. "I hear India is lovely this time of year."
"You mean it's a malarial pit," objected Jasper, surging up out of the hay. "I won't do it."
"Won't?" Geoff didn't so much as touch Jasper, but the lash of his voice alone was enough to drive Jasper back several paces. In a voice all the more terrifying for its very calm, he went on pleasantly, "Let us be very clear on this point, cousin. If you had succeeded in harming my wife, you would be dead. Slowly. Painfully. Dead. Do you understand?"
"India. Yes. Right. Smashing place. All those…curries."
"Splendid." Geoff clapped Jasper on the back with cousinly bonhomie. "I was sure you would see reason."
Reason wasn't all that Geoff had on his side. He also had Jasper's arm
twisted behind his back. Given that Geoff was the slighter cousin by at least a stone, it was an impressive performance. Jasper, however, was so entirely demoralized by the stinging rain of Geoff's words that he didn't even think to put up any resistance.
"Everything will be arranged for you. I'm sure your commanding officer will be more than delighted to facilitate your transfer to another regiment. Don't worry," Geoff added kindly. "We'll make quite sure whichever one it is has uniforms that meet your sartorial expectations. You needn't fear for your appearance."
Jasper nodded numbly.
"I do believe you will be needing a new valet though," Geoff went on, in the same implacably pleasant voice. "Someone will be arriving at your lodgings tonight to assume that role. He will accompany you to India—and he will make sure you stay in India. One false move, and the sideburns go."
Jasper swallowed hard.
Geoff turned to Letty. "A valet has a million small ways of enacting retribution. A nick under the chin while shaving, an overstarched collar, a seam sewn where it will rub continuously against the skin until the wearer runs mad from it. They are masters of the lesser forms of torture. I'm sure our Jasper won't do anything to displease his valet, will you, cousin?"
"No," Jasper croaked.
"Good." Geoff made no move to release his cousin's arm. "I'm glad we had this little talk. And now, dear cousin, I believe you are decidedly de trop."
Letty realized what Geoff was planning a moment before Jasper did. With a seemingly effortless movement, Geoff took his cousin by the scruff of his pants and swung him over the side of the wagon, right into the gutter. Jasper landed with a splash, cursing with enough vehemence to assure the onlookers that he was more outraged than injured.
Picking himself up, and flicking bits of refuse off his person, Jasper cast a malevolent glare over his shoulder at a pair of small children, who pointed and laughed.