by Jeff Povey
Other-Johnson lets go of Non-Ape and collapses to his knees, coughing blood, while outside Non-Ape staggers and reels before slamming into the wall that runs under the platform. He sinks down to his haunches and sits there, completely dazed.
Johnson rocks gently with the motion of the impact and I rock with him until we finally stop for good.
I look up and find the Ape staring dully at me.
‘No homo?’ he says gently.
‘No,’ I say quietly. ‘No homo.’
Quiz question:
Eight teenagers boarded a train. The train doesn’t stop at any station until it reaches its destination but only six teenagers disembarked.
Please explain how that happened. You may confer.
The Ape is standing on platform nine, staring back down the track we just came down. He looks tired and he winces every now and then from the pain in his long-ago battered ribs. But nothing hurts like the loss of GG.
He has been standing there for over five minutes, as if willing GG to come skipping down the track.
Non-Ape is lying flat out on the concourse, wracked by exhaustion and somehow looking smaller. Other-Johnson, a tissue wedged into his bleeding nose, has opened the Starbucks coffee kiosk and is gathering as much food into his arms as he can. He takes it to Non-Ape.
‘Can you hear GG?’ I transmit to him.
‘Not one camp quip,’ Other-Johnson tells me but his voice is leaden.
‘Keep scanning for him.’
‘I’m trying, Rev. I’m trying the Moth too, but there’s nothing. There’s just silence.’
I am sitting under one of two giant arrivals and departures boards, near the cashpoint machines. Johnson is seated beside me and he is as numb as I am.
Other-Johnson reaches Non-Ape, his arms crammed full of food. ‘Sit up,’ he tells Non-Ape.
Non-Ape is almost too weak to breathe.
‘C’mon, Dazza. I got crisps.’
Non-Ape takes an eternity to pull himself to a sitting position. But as soon as he sets eyes on the pile of food Other-Johnson has brought him he manages a big wide grin.
‘Fill me,’ he says and opens his great mouth.
Other-Johnson starts feeding him: a father with a very hungry and very huge baby.
Billie hasn’t spoken since we disembarked. I think she feels ashamed at hiding from the Moth Two onslaught but there is no shame in not wanting to be eviscerated. She makes her way to the circular open-air information kiosk and slides into one of the fake-leather swivel chairs. She lays her head in her arms and I watch her shoulders shake as she weeps gently.
I drag myself over to her. ‘Billie?’
‘This is getting worse and worse, Rev.’
Seeing her cry makes me want to cry and I take some deep breaths as I try and hold it together.
‘I didn’t think GG would do that.’
‘He’s braver than any of us realise.’
‘Was braver, Rev. Was. Isn’t any more.’
Billie buries her face again and her shoulders shake as she weeps for GG. ‘Why did he do that?’ she manages to ask between sobs. ‘Why?’
‘He did it for us, and we have to repay that by . . .’
‘Going home? That’s all you ever say. Over and over. We’re going home. Well, that’s going to be fun, finding our way back just so we can tell his parents – who love him to bits – that their son didn’t make it.’
GG is adored by his family and I have to turn away because I don’t think I can face this.
‘We need to run, Rev, or we’re all going to die.’
‘We can’t run. No one else knows how to drive a train. And the Moth needs us. He’s still alive.’
‘You think? Honestly?’ Billie’s sobs stop as she looks back up at me. I can feel her eyes boring into the back of my head. ‘Your plan isn’t working.’
I bow my head a little.
‘I hate to be the one to tell you, Rev, but speaking as your friend, maybe someone else should take over.’
I turn back and Billie’s eyes are small and puffy from crying.
‘I’m trying my best,’ I tell her quietly.
‘I know you are. But it hasn’t helped a bit.’
Billie is completely right when she says this. My best has been what it’s always been: useless. I’m not that bright in school, I’m not in any top sets, I can’t sing, I can’t dance, I don’t have a talent for anything, so who the hell did I think I was trying to lead us?
I’m so sorry, GG.
Moth, the same goes to you.
I’m sorry I screwed up.
Billie stares hard at me but she’s said all she needed to and we stay that way for a good minute or so. It takes a good friend to tell you who you really are.
Non-Ape didn’t really get what we were going through but after stopping the train, then eventually getting to his feet and clomping slowly down the track, he did start to lose it when Billie wouldn’t heal his wounds.
‘I can’t do it,’ she told him.
‘I need it.’
‘I’m too . . . I’m just . . . No. OK? No.’
Non-Ape looked more hurt in that moment than at any other time. I could imagine his dinosaur brain trying to understand and then cope with what must have seemed like a terrible rejection. He really likes Billie and after the savage attack by the Moth Twos, he wanted someone to reach out to him.
He saved all of us and we can’t give him anything in return.
The Ape turns and looks back down the huge concourse towards us. ‘I’m going to get them,’ he calls out.
Johnson is already easing himself to his feet. ‘Wait.’
‘I found you. I can find anyone. I’m a great tracker.’
The Ape starts heading down the platform, going back in the direction of GG and all the Moths.
‘Dazza,’ Johnson calls out.
But the Ape is marching forth, not about to turn back.
Johnson joins me at the information kiosk and offers his hand. ‘I can piggyback you.’
I feel myself lifted easily, and when Johnson spins me onto his back I see stars from the speed he moves me. I slip my arms round his shoulders as he slides his arms under my thighs, holding me tight.
‘I haven’t done this since . . . since for ever,’ I tell him.
‘Hold tight.’
Johnson starts marching after the Ape. ‘Dazza! Wait up.’
As he calls out I spot Other-Johnson stopping mid-feed. He doesn’t need to be a telepath to tell me what he’s thinking. He doesn’t like the sight of me being carried by Johnson.
Johnson can’t help but rub it in. ‘Should’ve swapped,’ he tells him.
But I know Other-Johnson wants to be human so that he can come back with me. He’s willing to sacrifice his entire life and world for me, and there’s not many boys who would do that.
‘We’ll be back, so don’t move from here,’ I tell him telepathically. But he doesn’t respond. He just watches.
Johnson’s easy smooth gait coupled with the loose steel in his sinews makes me feel like I’m gliding. We’re closing on the Ape already.
‘Fill me!’ Non-Ape grabs Other-Johnson’s hand and pulls even more food into his huge gullet.
The Ape is powering onwards, as determined as ever, and it takes at least a minute for us to draw alongside him.
‘It’s got to be about four or five miles,’ Johnson tells him.
‘I’m a great tracker.’
The Ape ploughs on and as I ride piggyback on Johnson he reaches up and pats one of my hands.
‘We’ll find them, Rev,’ he promises.
His hand stays on mine and without realising I feel my fingers lace with his and I’m so glad I’ve got him to hold on to.
Mum and I had a dog once. Rufus. A hairy ginger hound who kept running away. But when I eventually got him back on the lead and walked him home it was usually miles from home. Based on that experience I reckon I can walk two miles in an hour. The Ape is moving quicker than that a
nd super-powered Johnson easily keeps up with him. I need to make him let me go because even with his new strength I’m soon going to weigh him down. After an hour we have probably managed three miles. Pretty close to the spot we lost GG.
Every step has been in silence.
I have no idea what’s going on in the Ape’s head but for the first time since we were transported here he looks sad. His eyes are smaller and every now and then he sucks in a deep breath. I don’t think he’s talking because he’s worried we might hear the sad choke in his voice.
Johnson breaks the silence. ‘GG could have floated . . .’ But his voice trails off. He takes a moment and tries again. ‘It’s that sort of world. Crazy things happen.’
But not good crazy, I think. This is a world that kills.
‘I didn’t see him land.’ Johnson talks quietly. ‘Could be stuck halfway up a tree. He’d hate that. It’d mess up his hair.’
The Ape thrusts his hands deep into his big black coat pockets. He’s scanning the area, desperate for any sign of GG or the Moth.
We keep walking, hoping for a sign – any sign – of either of our friends.
‘I should’ve known, Rev,’ Johnson tells me quietly.
‘Known what?’
‘The five months. Should’ve sensed it wasn’t real.’
‘It wasn’t your fault. Someone was playing mind games with you.’
‘But me and Billie? Seriously? She’s great and that, but how come I didn’t know any better?’
‘You weren’t allowed to.’
He squeezes my hand. ‘It’s lucky we had the other Johnson to put us right.’
Mentioning Other-Johnson isn’t an accident. Johnson knows what he is doing.
‘Listen, about him,’ I start, but the Ape comes to a sudden stop and Johnson almost walks into him.
He’s quicker now and sidesteps him easily. ‘What is it?’ Johnson asks.
I’m waiting for my shoulders to start screaming danger but there’s nothing.
The Ape scans the world. Suburbia to one side, a field that usually has horses in it on the other.
‘It was here.’
The track and everything around it is silent and empty.
‘He fell here.’
‘You sure?’ Johnson asks.
The Ape points a thick finger towards a lone shoe lying on the track about twenty-five metres away. Even from here I can tell that it’s one of GG’s and the sight of it lying there, alone and abandoned, brings a sudden rush of tears that I can’t hold back.
Johnson stays silent for a moment but I can hear the Ape crunching along the track, his big heavy shoes scraping through the grey shale scattered between the sleepers.
‘He might be OK.’ Johnson speaks as if his voice is trapped way back in his throat.
I talk through my tears. ‘GG would never be seen with only one shoe,’ I blubber. ‘Can you imagine the shame?’
Johnson takes a moment to bring his sadness and shock under control.
‘I never spoke to him before at school. You know, before detention.’
‘No?’
‘Not really. Wish I had.’
In truth, apart from Billie, I didn’t really know the others. I knew of them of course, but they weren’t in my circle. I certainly wasn’t in the Ape’s. In fact, I don’t actually know who was in his circle, maybe his scrawny pal Del, but apart from that none of us had any connection before this.
‘He was the best,’ the Ape says quietly.
And never in a million worlds would any Ape have ever said that about any GG. Which shows how far we’ve come and how much we’ve changed. Johnson knows it too because at one time he was the coolest of the cool who lived by his own code and did things his way. A lone wolf who has found out that he doesn’t mind company after all.
I blink my eyes a few times, then wipe them with the back of my free hand.
The Ape has picked up GG’s shoe and is staring at it. I know he won’t cry but standing there gripping that shoe in his lion-sized paw says everything. He quietly flattens the shoe as best he can and slips it into one of his coat pockets.
He then starts along the track heading away from us.
‘Oh, no,’ I whisper.
Johnson tenses. ‘He’s going after them. He’s going after the evil Moths.’
Johnson sets off again, covering the ground between us and the Ape with stunning ease. I run after them as fast as I can.
Johnson overtakes the Ape and gets in front of him, facing him down. ‘There’s too many of them,’ he tells him.
But the Ape keeps walking.
‘Dazza.’ Johnson tries again. ‘There were loads of Moth Twos.’
‘Still isn’t enough. Got to get our Moth back,’ the Ape says boldly before brushing past us.
Johnson spins and races past the Ape to get in front of him again and puts a hand out to warn him to stop. ‘We don’t want to lose you too.’
‘You won’t.’
The Ape walks straight past Johnson who spins again and this time tries to leap over the Ape, but pitches forward as he lands before regaining his balance. He’s still not used to what he has become and could have probably done with a real five months to come to terms with what he can do now.
Johnson is more adamant as the Ape approaches. ‘GG did what he did so we could escape.’
The Ape marches straight past him.
Johnson isn’t sure what to do next. He half turns to me and I glimpse his strong profile. ‘Rev.’
I know the Ape will go to war. I know he will somehow find the Moth Twos and I know he will take them all on.
‘Stop him.’
Johnson accelerates and races past the Ape. ‘We need to find the papers first,’ he tells him.
‘What papers?’
I knew he wasn’t listening when I outlined my plan. I hurry to catch up.
‘I want to find the Moth as well but we need the other Johnson to do that and right now he can’t find him with his mind thing.’
‘What mind thing?’
‘He’s a telepath. You know, can speak to people in his head.’
‘And I’m a great tracker.’
The Ape is on a mission. He is thunderously angry and his rage is emanating from him like a hot shimmer on a road.
‘We need you,’ I tell the Ape.
But he keeps on walking.
‘I need you,’ I add, hoping to reach him on another level.
He ploughs on.
Johnson leaps through the air and lands in front of the Ape.
‘We’ll come back as soon as Other-Johnson has located where the Moth is. I swear to you,’ I tell the Ape.
We have to keep backing up because the Ape won’t stop.
Johnson tries again. ‘Daz, you’ve got to think straight.’
Which is the Ape’s big problem. He only thinks one thought at a time and goes straight for it.
‘They took the Moth for a reason, and that makes me think they need him alive. So we’ll find him. All of us. But for now, I promise you, he’s safe,’ I explain to the Ape.
I’m backing up so fast now that I trip on the edge of a sleeper and crash onto my backside. But the Ape barely glances at me as he walks straight past. At any other time he would have stopped to help me.
Johnson helps me to my feet and then speeds up to the Ape and grabs his shoulder. ‘Don’t make me do this.’
The Ape turns with indecent speed and punches Johnson straight in the gut. Even in his new body Johnson doubles over as the breath escapes from him.
The Ape turns and heads down the track again. I scramble towards Johnson as he straightens and rubs his belly. ‘Think I got through to him,’ he jokes.
I have no option but to sprint after the Ape. My body is cut and bruised and my muscles would prefer that I didn’t use them for the next month but I pound after the Ape and leap onto his great back. ‘For chrissakes!’
The Ape staggers forward under my momentum but then rights himself. And keeps
on walking.
‘You can’t bring him back,’ I wail and realise I’m crying again. ‘Even if you find GG he will not – he just won’t be . . . He won’t. He’s not coming back.’
The Ape begins to slow.
‘I want him to be stuck in a tree or a hedge, just like you do. I want that so much but what are the chances?’
The Ape finally stops.
I’m clinging on to him, just like I clung on to Johnson and I’m sniffling and snuffling and shuddering from the horrible bleakness.
‘He’s gone,’ I croak. ‘He’s gone.’
The Ape stands stock-still.
‘I was hoping. I was. I was praying and praying. But his shoe . . . His outrageous shoe that no one else would ever wear . . .’ My words are escaping between great sobs. ‘I would give anything not to have seen that shoe.’
I slide from the Ape’s back but keep my arms wrapped round him as best I can.
Johnson walks quietly up to us, wary of breaking the moment.
The Ape’s breathing starts to calm but he won’t turn and look at me.
‘The Moth?’ he asks quietly.
‘We’ll think of something.’
The Ape lets out a long slow breath and scans the world around us, hoping for a sign of GG.
‘So where’s G-Man? If he’s dead where is he?’
The Ape’s alarmingly straightforward logic cuts to the heart of everything.
And he’s right. Apart from the shoe there’s no sign of GG.
‘Dead don’t walk,’ the Ape says simply.
Johnson scans the area. It is totally silent and nothing moves apart from the breeze whispering through the leaves.
This world is very good at giving you a sliver of hope and then snatching it all away again. It loves to tease. And torment.
‘If he’s OK he would have headed down the track, wouldn’t he? We’d have met him,’ I say quietly, wishing I was wrong.
Johnson stares at the trees, hoping to find a sign that GG was swept up onto a branch.
But there’s nothing.
The Ape slips his hand into his coat pocket and squeezes GG’s shoe.
Could the Moth Twos could have found GG and taken him away?
Would they do that?
Or has GG been thrown somewhere we’ll never find him?