Von was bleeding, the steady trickle running down his fingers from a bite that had torn into his hand between his thumb and pointer finger. Danny tossed Von a few napkins from the glovebox and motioned for us to get back in the car. “I’m driving,” he ruled without room for arguing.
Danny wasn’t going to get any pushback from me. My nerves were shot. I slid into the backseat with Mariang, letting Von stretch out in the passenger’s seat as we all came down from the gore of the fight.
29
Finn’s Balisong
I held Mariang in the backseat as she cried quietly while Danny drove us toward my home. It was ten whole minutes of quiet seething from the driver’s seat before Danny tore into me. “Where did I go wrong? Asking you to stay put, or letting you drive in the first place? Or did I go wrong when I told Ezra I thought you were ready to leave the mansion? Where, October? Where did I go wrong?”
I didn’t answer, but kept my attention on Mariang, who clung to me in her fragile state.
Danny’s nerves were making his mouth shoot off unfortunate things I hoped he would regret later, but doubted it. I kept my mouth shut through his rigorous verbal assault, knowing there was nothing I could say that would quell the situation. When Danny couldn’t engage me in a fight, his head swiveled to his brother. “Aren’t you going to say anything? She’s your charge, Von.”
Von was quiet, staring ahead from his place in the passenger’s seat as we whipped along on the freeway. “Where’d you get that knife?”
I cleared my throat. “I had it in my glovebox.”
“Don’t play games,” Von snapped.
“I think what both of you mean to say is ‘thank you. Thank you, October, for offing that bird guy before he crashed through the windshield and tore out your throat and Mariang’s. Thank you, October, for having our backs.’”
“Where did you get that knife?!” Von shouted, making me jump. Von didn’t yell at me usually, so I knew I’d crossed a line I’d have to answer for.
“It’s Finn’s,” I admitted in a mousy voice, though I knew that was nothing to be ashamed about. “He gave it to me for protection when we were in Silo.”
“That knife was given to him by King Banak himself. No way would he hand that over to you for no reason.”
“We can talk about it later.” I wasn’t sure which secret would be worse – that I’d kissed the man who’d brokered his enslavement, or that I’d fought in a zombie apocalypse without telling them.
“We can talk about it now. That weapon is Finn’s mark. If Finn wants one of his soldiers to broker a deal on his behalf, he sends them with that exact knife. It’s sacred to him. Why did Finn give you his balisong blade?”
Danny was looking at Von in surprise that his brother had caught a level of my treachery he’d missed. Danny cast me curious and furtive glances in the rearview mirror. “Finn doesn’t give gifts to people for no reason. He’s a man in it for himself and Banak alone. I could see him giving you a regular knife, but Von’s right. I didn’t even notice how off that is. Finn’s balisong is special. Did you feel how easy it was to slice through that guy’s throat? My knife’s good, but my cut wasn’t near as clean as yours, and I’ve been slicing through Ekeks for years.”
I opted for the zombie confession because that seemed the lesser of two evils, if you can believe it. “He gave it to me because I may have fought with him, his men and Kabayo’s men against Sama’s army a little bit.”
Danny nearly veered off the road, and Mariang squeaked her surprise as he corrected his trajectory. “You what? Finn and you both told Ezra you were behind the gate while the battle was being fought.”
“I was, in the beginning. But Finn was losing, and there was a point where I could see him going down if I didn’t do something. So I did something. It’s not a big deal.”
Danny had reached the point of fuming where he couldn’t form coherent sentences, which I guess was the best I would get as far as a pardon.
Von had plenty of words, though, and thought them through so that each one had a clear point. “So you lied to us? You lied to me?”
I waited a few beats, hoping he wouldn’t make me answer. Then I finally uttered a quiet, “Yeah. Because I knew you would freak out. Exactly like you’re doing right now.”
“I’m freaking out because you lied to me.”
“Bull,” I responded tartly. “You’re pissed because I fought. Just like Danny’s pissed I helped out just now. I get it. I have to stay safe for the good of the people of Terraway and all that. But I won’t just sit back and let you die. And back in Silo? I wasn’t about to do nothing and chew my nails like a sitting duck while Finn bit it. He was in Silo because I dragged him down to be my guide. He was my responsibility. So yeah, he gave me his fancy knife so I could defend myself if something happened to him.”
“He didn’t want it back after you both were safe and sound?” Von was hinting at something he had no business being near.
“He told me to keep it. That I saved his life or something, so that was my gift from him. Like I said, it’s really not that big a deal. I’m safe, he’s safe. We’re all okay. Ezra made it clear I couldn’t sneak off again with his little house arrest jewelry he made me wear, so whatever lecture you think I need to hear, skip it. I just beheaded somebody, and I’m not in the mood.”
“You should’ve stayed in the car, like Danny told you to,” Von grumbled, wanting to be right somehow.
I leaned forward so he could see me. “You’re in this because you’re my Reaper. If not for me, you’d be at home watching TV or guarding Ezra’s home from errant flies or something. I’m the reason you were in danger today. I won’t do nothing when three jaggoffs show up trying to eat my best friend. The fact that you think I’m even capable of that shows how little you know me.”
I watched Von’s expression vacillate between wanting to argue and being touched that my love for him went deep enough to awaken my dark places. “I love you, too,” he said, reaching back to hold my hand. “And thanks for that. I was having a hard time getting the head off my guy. My knife’s not as fancy as yours. But next time listen to Danny, yeah? Stay in the car.”
“If you need me to lie to you and say okay, then okay. But I am who I am.” My voice quieted even further. “I don’t have many people in my life, and I won’t give you up without a fight. I don’t much care how bloody my hands get, so long as you’re safe in the end.”
Danny made a few grunts of protest when Von climbed over the console into the backseat. There wasn’t enough space for him to sit in the middle comfortably, so Von pulled me onto his lap. He coiled his arm around me and pressed his forehead to mine. His hand cupped the underside of my knee and gathered my legs together so I was curled up on his lap, my back resting against the car door. “I love you,” he whispered in my ear. “But you have to stop putting yourself in danger for the job. I matter to you? You matter to me.”
“You’re my treasure,” I countered, “and I won’t do nothing when someone’s coming after you. A locked door does me no good unless you’re locked inside with me.”
Von kissed my cheek and checked my hands and arms for injury. “Are you alright, love? Did they hurt you?”
“I’m fine.”
Von tsked me. “That’s another dollar for the Denial Jar. When you use that money to buy me something pretty, I prefer my roller coasters without safety harnesses.”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s not that much money in the jar.”
“Your denial runs deep. And I don’t want just a trip to a carnival. I want a real, live roller coaster, named after me.”
I smirked at him, making myself comfortable on Von’s lap in a contented snuggle. “You got it.”
I hadn’t sat on all that many laps in my life. Every now and then when I was very little, Ollie would read a bedtime story and Allie would pull me onto her lap as we listened with rapt attention. He liked to do voices and sweeping gestures, making the stories come to life. Judge had read to me
while I sat on his knee many afternoons, back when I was little, and trusted him without a blink. The only other time I can remember being on a man’s lap was when Allie and Ollie took me to see Santa Claus once at a mall. We waited in a long line, and when I finally got to see the chubby old man in his red suit, I knew exactly what to ask for. I was a four-year-old on a mission. I wanted new clothes for Allie and for her to eat, for Ollie to stop getting into fights at school, and for Mama to like me.
The fake Santa didn’t know what to do with me, the poor guy. I still remember his uncomfortable chuckle of “Ho, ho, ho. Don’t you want a new teddy bear? Maybe a new doll?”
Christmas morning came, and there were no presents under the tree. Well, there was no tree, so that was strike one. Allie kept wearing the same baggy sweatshirt that had stains on the elbows and a hole on the side. There wasn’t any food at all. Ollie was nursing a black eye Christmas morning from who knows what fight he’d gotten into at school. Bev got stinking drunk on money that was supposed to be used for food for all of us. I don’t remember what I did, but I set her off somehow. I spent Christmas morning being chased around the trailer while she wacked me over and over with the back of her hairbrush, until I found a safe place to hide in her hoard.
That was the year I stopped believing in Santa. Ever since then, I hadn’t had the stomach for Christmas trappings, or sitting in men’s laps who couldn’t do a damn thing to help me.
Von hadn’t promised me a teddy bear or a new doll, but he’d held my hand through Ollie’s temper, Allie’s distance and Bev’s hatred. I didn’t just need Von alive, I needed him unharmed, well rested and happy. He was so good at being happy, and I wanted to learn that skill.
I rested my head next to his on the seat, closing my eyes against the wary looks Danny was shooting me in the rearview mirror, and the hopeful ones Mariang cast in our direction.
30
Chinese Food and Sandwich Cookies
I called Ollie just to hear his voice when we got home, and the guys took turns washing up from the fight. My brother promised he would be home in an hour for dinner, and I breathed a little easier knowing we’d be reunited soon. I opted to go last in the bathroom so I could make sure everything was cleaned properly. Because, you know, boy germs.
Danny ordered too much Chinese food, but I knew we’d make our way through the smorgasbord by the end of the night. Mason had been waiting for us, and I could tell he was bummed that he’d missed a good monster fight. “I can’t believe I’ve been sitting here, doing charm work like a chump while you all were out cutting off Ekek heads.”
Von made himself comfortable on the couch with the bucket of chicken fried rice, since there wasn’t room at the table for all of us. “Yeah? Well maybe you should get over your little squabble with November. Then you’ll be around for the next attack, instead of sitting alone in an empty house, pretending to be useful.”
Mason cast Von a look of deep displeasure. “October and I aren’t fighting.”
My head snapped in Mason’s direction. “Hello, you can barely look at me. I don’t care. I mean, you’re welcome to feel as mad as you want, but call a spade a spade.”
“Really?” Mason snapped. Ever since my disappearance, he’d vacillated from pissed to tolerating me. “I’m welcome to my feelings? Thanks, really. How generous of you.”
“No, you’re not mad,” Von said, grinning over at Mason like he wanted to be slapped. Von oozed that particular kind of charm.
When Ollie got home, he nearly collapsed in my arms with mental, physical and no doubt emotional exhaustion. He was handed a plate of food and ushered to the couch where he unloaded all that I’d missed. “It’s like Bev’s a different person. I don’t get it. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t been with her every waking hour. She’s sincere now.”
Of all the things he could’ve said, sincere seemed the most outlandish. I blew a disrespectful raspberry as I sat next to him with my sesame chicken. “Now you’re just making things up.”
“Honest. She’s not proud, she’s not in denial about everything, and she’s not mean. She’s done nothing but cry over every single thing she’s messed up, then she apologizes as soon as she’s coherent enough to speak.” He bit into his eggroll as if it was the one thing missing from his life. “This tastes amazing. Thanks for getting food. I’ve had my hands full.”
Danny grunted in response as he tore into his almond chicken.
“Do you think there’s a possibility it’s an act? I mean, it all came crashing down when Ezra saw her trailer, and that was the first time she was exposed.”
Ollie shook his head swiftly, not breaking eye contact with the food he couldn’t eat fast enough. “Nope. She broke off the engagement. Gave the giant diamond back and everything. Said she didn’t deserve someone good like him.”
That dropped my jaw. My mouth stayed open until Von scooted in next to me and closed it with his index finger. “You look like an adorable little guppy.”
“Oh, hush.” I batted Von’s hand away and turned my focus back to Ollie. “I don’t get it. I mean, Ezra explained to me about the sagrado stone’s effects on humans, but it’s not settling right with me. I mean, we lived with the stone, and we’re not abusive hoarders.”
Ollie gave me a look that told me he thought I was being stupid on purpose. “Maybe not hoarders, but Allie had her fair share of problems. Cutting, anorexia. I mean, did you see how much better she got when we moved out? She was like a different person. You, too! I always thought it was the therapy and the medication, which I know helped, but it was getting you away from that stone. It’s poison to us, kid.” He poked at the bandages on my arms that had been necessary when I was cooped up in Ezra’s place. I knew I’d made life hard for Von, constantly smelling of scabbed-over wounds. “I can see you’ve had a rough time being in the same house with it. And it makes sense you never kicked your OCD. You visited Bev once a week. Got yourself a consistent unhealthy dose of the stone to keep things nice and unbalanced.”
My welcome home toward my brother grew sour. I didn’t like him calling out my metaphorical and literal wounds in front of people. “Kicked my OCD? Like how you kicked your anger issues, oh unscathed one?” I reached out and snapped the rubber band on his wrist. “Tell me, how exactly was growing up in a house like Bev’s supposed to affect me? Am I supposed to just get over everything because the poison’s not near me anymore?”
Ollie tapped his toe to mine. “Of course not. That’s why I put you in therapy and why you’re still on medication. It’s why I kept up with Anger Management out in New York. But see? With the stone gone, we’ll have a chance. Before that, we didn’t have a prayer. Now we can someday be without all of it. Bev, too.”
“I don’t get you,” I said honestly. “You hate Bev. You were mad I visited her once a week. Now, what? You’re all about pushing it under the rug? Bygones? Family singalongs and handholding? Legit Brady Bunch for Team Reese? We’re supposed to look the other way on all of it because Bev has a good reason?”
“I don’t get you,” Ollie echoed back onto me. “I was the one who wanted to write her off, but you insisted it was the right thing to do to try and look after her – that she was sick and couldn’t help herself. Now that there’s a reason she was so hard to love, a reason she couldn’t help herself, you’re willing to write her off?”
“I didn’t say all that.” I let out a heavy sigh just as the doorbell rang. I made to get up, but Von’s weighted hand on my shoulder pushed me back down.
“I’ll get it. We were just attacked. Your job’s to relax. Mine’s to get the door.”
“You’re not my butler, Von. You were the one who was attacked, if you’ll remember correctly.”
“And yet, I’ve got tons of energy for answering doors and entertaining beautiful women.” Von stood in front of me as I sat with Ollie on the couch and started doing a sexy slow-motion shimmy, shaking his perfect backside in my face just to make me laugh. I swatted his butt, grinning at my
mischievous daring and his playfulness. “I’ve got this, darling. You sit with your brother.” He turned and pressed a closed-mouth kiss to my lips that could never get enough of his constant tease. My heart swelled at his random affection that always seemed to land on me. Von was the best kind of opiate, and I was growing wildly addicted to the flavor of him.
Von moved to the door while Ollie pointed his finger in my face. “I saw that.”
“Really? You saw the butt that was popping and locking right in front of your face? Nothing gets by you.”
“You did the cutesy girl smile-and-blush. Your cheeks are still pink!” Ollie whispered.
I touched my heated cheek with the back of my hand. “Whatever. I’m warm. Shut up about it.”
“Careful, kiddo. I mean it. He’s a nice guy, I’ll admit, but his speed’s far faster than yours.”
“Is this you shutting up about it? Because it sounds like you’re talking nonsense still. Eat your eggroll, Reese.”
“Be careful, Reese,” he cautioned me, watching Von with wary watchful brother eyes.
Von let in Gabby, who had two armloads of groceries. He grabbed one and called over his shoulder to us, “We got us some visitors, kids.”
Mason and Danny wore matching frowns, displeased at the impromptu party Gabby always managed to figure the worst time to throw.
I donned a smile for Ollie’s closest thing to a relationship. “Hey, Gabby. Is everyone coming over?”
“Of course! It’s been too long since we’ve had both of my Reese’s Pieces under one roof.”
Tempt (Terraway Book 4) Page 16