by Alessa James
“That shouldn’t be an issue,” Will said.
When I raised an eyebrow, he smiled.
“I would buy your dress, as well as any other items you required.”
“Dresses aren’t cheap, but okay, assuming that’s not nuts, it isn’t the only problem. Empath here, remember? Large groups, public places, high emotions, not to mention hormones. Seriously not good for me. I’ll just end up hyperventilating in the bathroom all night. The cafeteria is bad enough.”
The doorbell rang, and I breathed a sigh of relief as Will disappeared. Just talking about the dance was making me ill. When he came back into the kitchen with pizza, a salad, and breadsticks, I laughed.
“Since you’re not going to help me with all of this, I hope my dad’s hungry when he gets home.”
Pouring more water and grabbing a fork from the drawer, I walked back to the living room and picked up my backpack. Will followed me upstairs with the food, but when I moved to close the door behind us, Will shook his head.
“You shouldn’t get in the habit of shutting the door. I imagine that fathers of teenage girls don’t like closed doors.”
“Is that so?”
“Certainly not when suitors are involved.”
I smirked.
“And you know this how?”
Will shot me a look.
“Your father has been very accommodating. Don’t test him.”
“Most likely he’s been accommodating because he didn’t think we were dating. That, or you hypnotized him.”
Will’s too-innocent expression made me wonder whether he really had tinkered with my dad’s perception of him. Settling on the bed, I pulled out the Trig assignment that I was struggling with. Of course, it was next to impossible to concentrate on something I hated so much with Will sitting a few feet away. It didn’t help that every time I looked up, his eyes were already on me. Finishing up my second slice of pizza and some salad, I got up and brought everything downstairs. By the time I had finished going through all of my assignments, Darcy, who had settled on my bed with me, perked up. I looked to Will.
“Your father is home. Would you like me to go?” he asked, nodding in the direction of the window.
“No, stay. Please.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to spend some time alone with him?”
“I think he should get used to having you around, don’t you?”
The Volvo’s door slammed outside, and I moved across the room. My dad’s key turned in the lock just as I reached the landing.
“Hey, Dad!” I called, hurrying down the stairs.
I reached out and gave him a hug.
“It’s good to see you, sweetie.”
My stomach flipped at the word sweetie, and I shivered. He set down his bag and looked over my shoulder.
“Will came over to work on our paper,” I rushed to explain.
My dad nodded and pointed behind me.
“I can see that.”
I turned and noticed Will standing quietly at the foot of the stairs.
“How are you, Will?” my dad asked.
I walked into the kitchen ahead of them.
“Good, sir. Aven mentioned you were in Colorado for a conference?”
“Dad? Pizza?” I asked, taking out the salad and the mostly uneaten pizza.
“Thanks, honey.”
“Cold or microwaved?”
I opened the box.
“Cold. You kids sure didn’t eat a lot.”
I sucked in my breath, trying to come up with an excuse as I took out a plate and silverware and walked over to the kitchen table.
“I had dinner before I joined Aven to work on our paper,” Will said smoothly.
I glanced at him. He lied very easily, but then two centuries of practice probably gave him an edge, I considered.
“Wine?” I asked my dad. “For you, not me.”
“Very funny, kiddo. And sure.”
Walking to the pantry, I took out a bottle of wine and then went to the cupboard for a glass before rummaging through a drawer for the wine opener. When I got to the table again, Will held out my chair for me. Sitting down, I suddenly had a really bad feeling and realized that Will was still standing behind me with his hands on the back of my chair. I set down the glass and the bottle.
“Mr. Casey, I would like to ask your permission to …”
Please don’t say court your daughter! I thought miserably.
“… date your daughter.”
Without a word, my dad reached over and popped the cork from the wine bottle, pouring nearly to the brim of the glass. My dad took a heavy sigh and looked over at me. I wasn’t expecting the blast of emotion to sweep through me like a knife. His emotion was so intense that a picture of my mom popped into my head.
“Well, I knew this day was going to come.” My dad looked up at Will. “You take care of her, Will. … She’s all I have left.”
I stopped breathing and stared at my dad. I rarely saw him this serious. As a general rule, he kept things light. Jumping from my seat, I bolted for the living room, tears streaming down my face. I made it up the stairs to my room before I completely lost it. Tearing open my desk drawer, I pulled out a picture of my mom and me. I looked at our smiling faces, our matching hair and green eyes. A sob racked me, and I threw down the picture. The next thing I knew, I was spun around, pressed into Will’s chest. I was still shaking when he pulled me away from him. His hands came up on either side of my face as he stared down at me, the air crackling between us. I stopped crying, my breathing evening out instantly.
“Better?” Will whispered.
I nodded as he reached to take my hand. Then he led me back downstairs, and I poked my head back into the kitchen.
“Dad?”
He turned from where he was fiddling with the coffee grinder.
“I’m sorry, honey,” he said
I smiled and shook my head. Then I walked over and hugged him for several seconds.
“I’m going to walk Will out, ’kay?”
“Sure.”
I turned and started walking toward the living room.
“Aven?”
I looked back.
“He seems like a nice kid.”
Nodding, I walked over to the front door where Will was waiting. He opened the door, and we stepped outside. Looking around, I had to wonder if Vladimir Fidatov was out there somewhere in the darkness, watching us. Walking with Will to the curb, I stopped and looked up at him.
“Is that what you like about me—that I’m an emotional basket case?”
“I don’t like anything about you, Aven.” My heart stuttered in my chest, and my stomach fell into my feet. “I love everything about you.”
He bent down and kissed me quickly on the lips.
“I’ll see you very soon. Now go back in the house.”
“Okay.”
I frowned and watched as he walked to the driver’s side. As the SUV took off, I walked back to the house and stepped through the front door. When I looked toward the landing, my dad was already in pajamas and a robe.
“That was fast,” I said.
“I’m beat, kiddo.”
I nodded.
“Me, too. Shower and then bed.”
I walked up the stairs, watching as Darcy followed my dad into his room. As soon as I got to my room, I grabbed my stuff and went down the hall to the bathroom. Closing the door behind me, I smiled at how small everything felt. Again, I was Alice, having eaten the box of sweets labeled EAT ME, and finding myself nine-feet tall in a bathroom a quarter of the size of Will’s. Showering quickly, I changed into flannel pajamas and rushed through the rest of my nighttime routine. I wrapped a towel around my wet hair and stepped from the bathroom. I was halfway down the hallway when my skin prickled with goose bumps.
My dad’s door was closed, and the light was off. The door to my room was also closed with the light off, when I had left the light on and the door open—I was sure. I took a deep breath, my heart
hammering as I walked toward my room. With each step, I told myself that Will wouldn’t have left me alone if he had thought Vladimir Fidatov was about to sneak through my window. But still …
Opening my door, I felt around for the light switch, my breathing uneven. Suddenly the lamp on my nightstand clicked on, and my eyes snapped to my bed. Will was propped against the headboard, grinning.
“Dammit!” I hissed. “You scared me half to death!”
Will laughed quietly and put a finger to his lips.
“That isn’t funny,” I hissed as he chuckled. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”
“Fashion statement?” Will asked, pointing solemnly to my head and the towel wound around my hair.
I jerked the towel from my head and shook out my hair as Will rose lithely from my bed and walked over to my computer. A second later, track twelve from The Smashing Pumpkins’ Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness album began playing. Another favorite of mine.
“Stalker,” I muttered.
He shrugged.
“It’s one of your most played songs, and again, you have peculiar taste for a teenager. Have you heard of Top Forty?”
I smirked at him.
“This album predates your birth,” he smiled.
“And The Beatles broke up when my dad was, like, four—and he still listens to them, so—good music never dies.”
Will would never die, either. I frowned as I realized that this was the millionth time today that my own mortality had popped into my head. As though he had read my thoughts, Will pulled me onto my bed so that we were facing each other.
“I have to ask you something,” I whispered.
Will nodded.
“You said you can’t die, but what happens if you don’t feed off of the energy from other people? I mean, if you’re a human, then you die from hunger eventually if you don’t eat. What happens to you?”
I couldn’t remember ever reading any vampire books that said what happened if they didn’t drink blood.
“I would weaken and eventually go mad. At that point, I would go to any length to quench that thirst. Any ability I have to maintain rational thought would eventually give way to that singular compulsion. I would become like Fidatov. A killer.”
I sucked in a breath.
“Is that why Fidatov went crazy? Going too long without consuming energy?”
Will shook his head.
“He was a monster before I entombed him.”
My breathing became shallow as I waited. When he spoke again, his tone was detached, impersonal—almost as though I was no longer sitting across from him.
“But I am not so different, Aven. My instinct is not moderation or preservation. It is in my nature to elicit as much emotion as I can, and then drain you of your vitality. Can you appreciate now the terrible danger I’ve put you in by continuing to be near you? I am a destructive creature who puts you at risk every moment we are together. I only wish you would have lived your life without knowing fear of monsters like Fidatov … and me.”
I looked down at my hands.
“What does that make me for loving you?” I asked, my voice just above a whisper.
Will didn’t say anything for a few heartbeats. I looked up at him.
“You are my salvation,” he said finally, his voice shaking slightly.
My breathing hitched, and the air around us was thick with tension as Will leaned forward and brushed my wet hair from my face.
“You can’t imagine how lucky I feel in these moments,” Will whispered into my damp hair. “And how desperately undeserving.”
“You think you don’t deserve happiness?”
“No, I don’t.”
The certainty in his voice startled me.
“Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you were the one I was supposed to find?” I whispered fiercely.
Will remained silent.
“You keep saying you’re so terrible for me, but what about Scott Adams and every other psycho Fidatov would manipulate? You think you’re worse than they are? You have empathy, Will! Do you think guys like that care if they hurt someone? Hell no! They … enjoy … it.”
The silence stretched out, and I regretted my words, even if they were the truth.
“Aven, I would hunt down every single person who has come within a breath of hurting you, but that is what Fidatov wants. He’s pushing me, testing for weaknesses, waiting for an opportunity. Waiting for the perfect opportunity.”
I stopped, the full weight of what he was saying sinking in.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered. “But no matter how loudly I scream it, you just won’t believe that my life has been better because of you. I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“I know.”
Frustrated by the resignation and regret in his tone, I reached out, letting my fingers trace carefully over his perfect features. He kissed my fingers as they brushed his perfectly formed lips.
“I’ve never been more frightened of myself than when I’m with you,” he admitted softly, holding me to his chest. “I want more than anything to keep you safe, but part of me wants you in a way that I know puts you in danger.” He shook his head. “My desires are dangerous to you.”
My insides swirled, and I felt keenly aware that I was venturing into treacherous territory. Exhaling unevenly, I tried to stop thinking about the feeling of Will’s lips against mine.
“I’m grateful for every moment I’ve had,” Will whispered.
“Stay with me tonight.”
What I really wanted to say was: Stay with me every night. Will smiled again.
“I will stay with you as long as you wish it.”
I slipped under the covers and rested my head on Will’s chest as he settled next to me. The lamp was off a second later, and all I could hear was my own breathing. What I had told my dad earlier was true—I was exhausted. Within minutes, I started to drift off against Will’s silent chest.
Hearing my alarm, I growled, wanting to stay in bed for another two hours. Then I felt Will’s fingers brush my cheek, and suddenly I was in a much better mood. When he kissed me gently on the lips, I opened my eyes and smiled.
“Does this make me Sleeping Beauty?” I asked lightheartedly.
“Yes.”
I smirked as Will rose from the bed and walked silently across my room. Then I watched as he opened my window without a sound and leapt out like that was a perfectly normal way to exit someone’s house. After getting dressed, I went downstairs to eat a bowl of cereal, and when I texted Sean telling him that I didn’t need a ride, he texted back one word: Figures.
I got my stuff together and packed some fruit and leftover pizza for lunch before going over to the closet for my shoes and jacket. Stepping out the front door, I felt my heart beat faster as I saw Will waiting for me. It didn’t matter how many times I saw him, or how long it had been since I had last seen him—I didn’t think I would ever get used to his beauty. When I reached the SUV, he swept me into the passenger seat. Leaving our street, Will drove at a relatively moderate pace by his standards. I looked over at him when he laughed.
“What?” I asked.
“It’s just I don’t think we’ve ever been together this long—while you’ve been awake—without you interrogating me,” he laughed. “I’ve grown accustomed to it.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Not at all. It’s only that I’ve never spoken of what I am before. Not to a human.”
“Really? I’m the only one you’ve ever told?”
“Yes, and I’ve put you in danger by telling you. I’ve exposed you to things you never should have had to fear.”
When Will pulled into a space at the edge of the student parking lot, I studied him, trying to see him as other people did. He truly was flawless, and I contemplated my earlier reluctance to admit, even comprehend, that he wasn’t human. He got out and came around to my side as I opened the door.
“Why doesn’t anyone notice you’re different?” I asked as
we walked. “Not that you seem like a vampire or anything. Not pale, not incinerated by sunlight, no fangs—but still. You’re a little too perfect to be human.”
“There are too many explanations people will come up with before they settle on the idea that monsters really do exist. You didn’t want to believe me even when I told you because, as you said, it’s silly to be taken in by things without proof. And as you’ve seen before, I also have the ability to mask my appearance to match your expectations.”
“But all the other things I ignored—I still feel like I should have known.”
“The longer I stayed near you, the harder it would have become to hide the truth. Eventually, you would have known something was wrong. The longer we spend in the company of individuals, the greater our danger of exposure becomes. It’s why I don’t generally spend a great deal of time so close to individual humans. People can only deny what their senses are telling them for so long. And then out come the torches and pitchforks.”
Will smiled thinly at his joke, but it made me wince.
“Why did you tell me, then?”
His eyes flashed.
“I told you because I’m in love with you, and I wasn’t self-sacrificing enough to do what was best for you.”
“And what’s that?” I snapped.
Will regarded me with a wary expression.
“To leave you alone.”
“Does it matter that I don’t want that? That I want you?”
When we reached Ms. Kluman’s classroom, Will took my hand.
“Fortunately, I’m selfish.”
I watched him walk down the hall before resigning myself to an hour of Ms. Kluman’s nonexistent explanations in Trig. When I got to second period and Lizzie asked if we wanted to have lunch again in the cafeteria, I nodded. I had already decided that I could deal with the looks of disbelief, because it made sense that people were so shocked to see us together. Even if people didn’t realize what Will was, it was plain to see that he didn’t belong here—or with me. At the nutrition bell, I shoved my binder in my bag and rushed outside to see if I could beat Will there. He was already waiting like he had been outside the entire time.