by Alessa James
“And what exactly am I misapprehending?”
“You may not believe me, but I don’t blame you—”
“Right,” I said under my breath.
“I blame Will for learning nothing from history.”
“Oh, so you’re one of those guys? The one who gets screwed over by one girl and then decides that every female is exactly the same? Really?”
He surprised me by smiling.
“Not at all. Will knew the risks of bringing into our world a mortal, an innocent no less. He never should have done it.”
“What happened to not choosing who you love? Isn’t that a thing?”
“You also have the power to choose what is best for the one you love, a concept I learned too late.”
I shook my head.
“I make my own choices.”
“Or Fate chooses for you.”
Even if it didn’t feel like it, I was sleeping at night. I knew, because every night in my dreams, I would search for him. One night I would be under the ocean—somehow able to breathe—and I would see Will chained to the ocean floor. Another night, I would be in a graveyard, digging until I hit stone with my shovel. With inhuman force, I would pry open the sarcophagus and see Will, beautiful, cold, and lifeless. Then, one night, I found myself standing in front of the house on Kincaid, staring up at the wrought-iron fence. When I looked down, I was barefoot, wearing the dress Will had bought me for the dance—and I was covered in blood.
I began to leave notes, little scraps of paper in odd places. Where is he? I left that note in my locker. I’m waiting. That note went in the glove box of the Volvo. Please. I’ll do anything. I left that note under a stone near the park. Me for him, I wrote finally, leaving the piece of paper in the school library’s copy of For Whom the Bell Tolls.
During school, I tried my best to act normal. No one asked me about the dance. No one asked about a funeral. What would they say? Your boyfriend’s dead—when’s the funeral? Then, on the Friday before the dance, Gen invited me to the house on the coast. I thought it was an attempt to distract me, but seeing them—Gen, Edmond, and James—was just a reminder that Will was gone. I couldn’t tell Gen that, though. Because they were still here, watching over me … which was another problem. I didn’t want them here. I wanted them out looking for Will, trying to bring him back. Gen claimed they were looking for him, but how could they be when one of them was always watching me?
My dad and I were on the couch after dinner, both of us reading with Darcy in between us, when the doorbell rang. Getting up, I shoved my book into my backpack and picked up my overnight bag. Scratching Darcy’s head, I leaned over and kissed my dad on the cheek. I could feel the fear and anxiety coursing through him as I pulled away.
“I’ll be fine,” I whispered.
Turning, I walked over and opened the door. Gen waved at my dad and took my overnight bag from me. I waited, hoping neither of them would say anything about Will.
“I’ll be back Sunday,” I told him.
Closing the front door behind us, I turned and saw the red Tesla parked at the curb.
“Would you like to drive?” Gen asked.
“I’d rather not.”
She shrugged and walked to the driver’s side. Getting in the passenger seat, I bottled up my frustration and stared out the window, lost in my own world. I wondered endlessly what would have happened if Fidatov hadn’t taken Will. Would we be going to the dance tomorrow? I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what it would have been like to dance with Will in front of all those people. I turned away from the window and looked at Gen.
“Gen? What would you do if it was Edmond Fidatov had taken?”
She glanced in my direction.
“The same thing I’m doing now.”
“Nothing?” I asked peevishly.
Gen sighed.
“Aven, I understand your frustration. It may appear to you as though we’re doing nothing, but you must remember that you are asleep or in school most of the day. We believe Fidatov is moving Will at every opportunity, making it that much more difficult to find him.”
I nodded.
“I’m sorry.”
Resting my head against the cool glass of the window, I stared at the blur of green. The next thing I knew, she was shaking me awake. Looking out the window, I saw the house. I opened my door and stepped out. Edmond was at the entrance. I waved, realizing I hadn’t seen much of him since the night Fidatov took Will.
“Hi,” I smiled as he took my bags from Gen.
“You needn’t worry. We will bring him back,” Edmond replied as though he could read my unspoken thoughts.
“Thank you, for everything.”
We walked inside, and I surreptitiously looked around for James.
“James is watching your father,” Gen said.
“Seriously? Don’t even tell me you guys read minds!”
“You are simply easy to read,” she laughed.
I looked around and felt a twinge of pure misery. I could see and feel Will in every inch of this house. This fortress that he designed. When I reached the stairs, I ran my hand along the smoothness of the banister.
I had never expected this. I had never expected that I would lose Will like this. I had literally turned my back for a second, and now he was gone. Possibly forever—or at least forever in my world. I continued my way to his room and saw that the door was partially open. The lights came on as I slipped inside. I took a deep breath, then another. It wasn’t my imagination. The room smelled of him. Just faintly, but enough to bring tears to my eyes. Hurrying over to his bed, I threw myself down and screamed into one of the pillows. Then I cried until I couldn’t.
When I woke up, the room was black and quiet. I sat up, triggering the motion sensor that controlled the lights. Climbing from the bed, I walked around the room. Gen had left my bags by the door, and I thought about changing into pajamas. Taking my overnight bag, I walked into the bathroom and saw a bathing suit on a hanger on the back of the door. It wasn’t mine, but it was my size. A bright, bottle-green bikini.
On a whim, I changed out of my clothes and grabbed the bikini from the hanger. Bikinis weren’t so bad, I thought—as long as there was no one there to see me wearing one. After changing, I took one of the oversized towels from the counter and wrapped it around myself. Putting up my hair, I crept out of the bathroom toward the bedroom door. The rest of the house was pleasantly lit, but not bright as I made my way down the stairs. There was no sound at all, and I wondered if Gen and Edmond were even here.
When I made it to the doors separating the pool from the rest of the house, they slid open noiselessly. I stepped onto the marble floor and walked toward the pool. As I reached over and dipped my hand into the warmth of the water, I realized it felt sacrilegious to be here without Will.
I dropped the towel onto a cushioned chaise longue and stepped to the pool’s edge. The water looked fathomless lit by blue lights. Taking a deep breath, I dived just beneath the surface and opened my eyes. I swam toward the blur of shimmering blue light until my lungs were about to burst. Coming up for air at the side of the pool, I tipped my head back to smooth my hair away from my face. When I looked forward, I saw a pair of—male—legs in front of me. Gasping, I looked up and saw James.
“I thought I was alone,” I sputtered, pushing back from the wall and treading water.
“Edmond and I traded off. Do you mind if I join?”
Before I could answer him, he reached back with one arm and pulled off his T-shirt, revealing the tightly packed muscle along his abs. When he reached toward his pants, I panicked.
“Oh my god! You can’t—”
Not waiting around to see what he was about to do, I dived beneath the surface of the water and swam straight for the bottom—until my ears started to hurt. When I couldn’t hold my breath any longer, I started to swim toward the surface, just as a splash disturbed the water around me. Breaking the surface, I gulped for air and looked around wildly.
/> “Looking for me?” James asked from behind me.
Yelping, I spun around in the water and couldn’t help looking down. I exhaled when I saw he was wearing board shorts. James laughed.
“Disappointed?”
“Hardly,” I squeaked. “What are you doing here?”
Leaning back, I tried to put some distance between us, but he seemed to eat up the gap as fast as I could propel myself backward.
“I returned home, and imagine my surprise when I heard a mortal splashing around in the pool at two in the morning.”
“It’s two in the morning?”
He nodded.
“A little past your bedtime, is it not?” he laughed.
“Are you always this snarky?”
“Some would call it witty.”
“Aren’t you worried about Will?” I asked seriously.
His expression became sober, and suddenly the bright green of his eyes reminded me that intentionally or not, he was drawing energy from me.
“I would be a fool not to be worried with Fidatov holding him.”
I swallowed and started swimming for the edge of the pool. When I got there, I had to stop myself from shrieking in surprise when I saw James standing at the edge, his arm outstretched. The longer I was around them, the more I realized exactly how not human all of them were. I reached up reluctantly, and James gripped my hand, pulling me from the water like I was a small child. His eyes traveled over me, and suddenly I remembered what I was wearing, which was very little.
“I should go to sleep,” I said quietly, pulling my hand out of his grasp.
He nodded, and I quickly made my way around the pool to where I had left my towel. Wrapping it around my shoulders, I walked toward the main house, not daring to look back. I didn’t know what to think of James—and that bothered me. I knew exactly what to think of Vladimir Fidatov and Scott Adams. They were my enemies. James was something else.
The best word I could come up with to describe James was disconcerting.
I passed Gen on my way back upstairs. When she asked me what was wrong, I was tempted to say James. I didn’t. I just smiled and said it was nothing.
When I opened my eyes the next morning, I rolled over, half expecting to find Will lying next to me. Instead I sat up and saw James standing in the doorway. Before I could say anything, he disappeared like he had never been there in the first place. Slipping out of bed, I walked over to the bathroom and started getting ready. Gen hadn’t mentioned any plans for the day, and I was more than fine doing homework all day.
Actually, what I wanted more than anything was for them to leave me alone in the glass fortress—and go find Will. Closing my eyes for a second, I imagined him miraculously reappearing right before the dance. I shook my head and opened my eyes. Not healthy. As soon as I was dressed, I walked downstairs to the kitchen. There was a note from Gen on the counter.
There is plenty of food. Don’t make any plans for this evening. -G
For a single second I thought that maybe they’d had a breakthrough, and my pulse sped up. Had they found Will? Then I realized it was a joke. Don’t make any plans. Right. Ha, ha. Where would I go? For all intents and purposes, I was Rapunzel locked in the tower—minus the epically long blonde locks of hair.
I opened the refrigerator. Gen had been right—there was plenty of food. I collected items for a quick breakfast that was tastier than anything I would have put together at home. Fresh squeezed orange juice, fruit salad, yogurt, and a blueberry muffin warmed in the convection microwave and then topped with butter. I ate standing at the counter and then cleaned up, leaving no trace that a human had been here.
With nothing else to do, I spent some extra time on Trig when I finished all my other homework. When I was done with math and had listened to almost all the music on my phone, I started to worry that there really was no one in the house. Had they just locked me up here for safekeeping? My phone buzzed, and I lunged for it. Lizzie had texted a picture of herself with a sad face.
Are you sure you can’t come tonight?
My eyes started to sting, and I threw the phone down on the couch. I was going to lose my mind if I didn’t do something. Going into the bathroom, I stripped out of my clothes and changed into the bikini from the night before heading straight for the pool. I jumped in, feet first and swam freestyle for five laps before I was completely exhausted and had to tread water. As I gasped for breath, I decided I liked running over swimming—because at least with running, I could breathe and exercise simultaneously.
Climbing out of the pool, I wrapped the towel around myself and went to the kitchen to make a late lunch … or early dinner. I was starting to lose track of time, and eating by myself suddenly felt strange. I missed Will watching me with a curious expression as I ate. Finishing up with the dishes, I walked back upstairs and stripped out of the wet bikini before stepping into Will’s indulgent shower. Being so alone all day, I suddenly felt old. A million years old. It made me wonder if I would one day be ancient, sitting by myself somewhere desperately trying to conjure pictures of the beautiful young immortal man I once knew.
Will.
Suddenly I was on the shower floor, sobbing as the hot water beat down on me. I just wanted him back. I wanted to see him again so badly that my chest ached. I knew this feeling well. The vast emptiness like a black hole in the center of my being.
I couldn’t remember standing up or turning off the water, but eventually I found myself sitting on Will’s sofa, looking out at the trees. When I turned, Gen was sitting next to me. She smiled sadly.
“You are definitely in need of some makeup—and a night out,” she said lightly.
“Good to know I look as bad as I feel …”
Grabbing my hand, she pulled me to my feet with startling ease and started pulling me toward her room. When we got there, I saw two dresses hanging from her antique armoire. One of them was mine.
“Wait—what? How did you …” I gulped.
“I asked James to bring some items back with him.”
“Why?”
“Because you can’t stop living your life.”
“I’m not,” I argued. “It’s called mourning. Acceptable in human-land, you know? It’s only on TV where the main character’s one true love dies, and then she’s hooking up with someone new in the next episode.”
Gen sighed.
“Firstly, William isn’t dead. Secondly, no one is asking you to replace him. Now sit down. I’m going to do your hair and makeup. But by all means, continue feeling anxious. The extra energy you’re expending is quite invigorating.”
I sat down at her vanity and winced when she took out a blow-dryer.
“Gen, really. This isn’t a good idea.”
Then I thought about it. Hundreds of high school kids, raging hormones … and the slightest possibility that Fidatov had found one of my notes. I shivered. Sure, why not? The blow-dryer suddenly roared in my ears. A few minutes later, Gen smiled at my reflection in the mirror.
“When I get done with you, you won’t even appear human,” Gen said confidently.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
I closed my eyes and let Gen perform her immortal makeover on me.
“Hand,” she commanded.
I held out my hand and looked down as she painted my nails with frightening speed. She finished my other fingers with the same alarming dexterity. Then she pulled me up from the seat.
“Et voila. Tu es vraiment belle.”
“Truly beautiful?” I asked with a doubtful expression.
Turning, I looked in the mirror.
“Wow.”
Again, I couldn’t argue with her. Gen had transformed me—like the night Will had given me the huge non-engagement ring that I was wearing around my neck.
“Now take off your clothes.”
“Oui, madame!” I smirked.
I stripped down to my underwear, and she shook her head. Retrieving a small box from her vanity, she
gestured for me to go change. I took the box and hurried into the bathroom where I opened the light pink container. Inside I saw a strapless bra and lace underwear, both pale lavender. I shrugged. It was better than what I was wearing. I changed quickly before I could freak out and then walked into Gen’s room and held up my arms like I was surrendering. She easily slid the dress over my head and handed me the heels.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I mumbled as I put on the shoes.
When I looked up, I stared at Gen. She looked better than a supermodel. Tall, but not grossly skinny, Gen was a goddess. And suddenly I was grateful she had done my makeup and hair. She handed me a small black clutch, and I felt the weight of my cell phone inside. She had literally thought of everything.
“Ready?” she beamed.
I stopped, suddenly remembering another piece of wisdom my mom had imparted—about putting energy out into the universe. Closing my eyes, I focused all of my energy and then pushed it outward with one unspoken word.
Will.
When I opened my eyes again, Gen was staring at me with a look of fearsome hunger—and James was standing in the doorway. He was in a suit, his eyes blazing an unnaturally bright green. Taking a deep breath, I looked back and forth between them.
“Aven, you mustn’t do that,” Gen chastised.
“What? Feel something?”
She gave me an admonishing look.
“You know exactly what you did. Pushing that much energy outward in proximity to the two of us is dangerous—for you.”
I nodded, imagining cutting my arm and holding it over open water with sharks circling below.
“I’m just getting you both ready for this suicide mission,” I said with a mocking smile. “I still think you should leave me here and go looking for Will.”
They looked back and forth between each other but didn’t comment as I walked toward James. He gestured for me to go ahead of him, and I kept my breathing even and my mind empty as I walked—carefully—in the high heels. When I reached the front of the house, the red Tesla was parked out front. Gen walked to the driver’s side, and James opened the passenger door for me. I sat down, and seconds later the car shot forward. Reaching for my phone, I tapped out a quick text to my dad letting him know that Gen was kidnapping me and making me go to the dance. Then I stared out the window, lost in thought.