"Oh, I'm fine dear. Things aren't as bad as you might think. Those who’ve been injured are being treated under the new Emergency Hospital Scheme. Casualties of the raids are treated free, so that’s a great weight off everyone's mind. Of course rationing is still making it difficult to get hold of some things, but I'm sure we'll cope."
There was a knock at the door and Sarah leapt to her feet, a radiant smile on her face.
"I'll get that, it's probably Joe!"
Within moments Sarah had opened the door and was in Joe’s arms. They kissed for a long moment, the unspent passion of four months’ separation lending a hunger to their embrace. Sarah felt as though she were being devoured by Joe’s lips, and wanted the feeling to last forever. Joe’s hand crept upwards until it was cupping her breast. His thumb brushed the hardened nipple and he groaned softly.
"I can't wait until we're married, darling. I want you so badly."
Sarah ran a hand through his hair as she pressed against him. "I know. I feel the same way too Joe, but it won't be long to wait now."
Joe pulled away, smiling. "I'll wait as long as you want me to, Sarah. You know you're the only one for me."
Sarah smiled, her love for Joe reflected in her eyes.
"It'll be worth waiting for. Now come on, Mum's cooking dinner."
The young couple walked hand in hand into the kitchen, where two cups of tea stood steaming on the table.
"Sit down and have a cup of tea. Dinner will be about half an hour."
Joe sat down opposite Sarah.
"How are you love?"
"I'm fine. I really enjoy my work, but I've missed you so much. How about you?"
"I'm fine too. We're making planes again at the factory, which I'm sure the RAF will be glad about. Most factories are working again now, but the new Lend-Lease system will be an enormous help to the war effort."
"Lend-Lease? I'm not sure I've heard about that." Alice stirred the stew as she spoke. "What does it mean?"
"Well, the Americans still won't join us in the war, but they've agreed to let us have some of the things we need - planes, tanks, guns and so on - on a Lend-Lease system. It means we get the goods now, but we don't have to pay for them until after the war.
"Well, at least they're doing something." Alice sniffed haughtily. "I suppose they'll 'sit on the sidelines until we have taken all of the fight out of the Germans, then come in at the last minute and try to take all of the glory. Just like they did last time."
Alice had never said anything, but Sarah was sure she blamed the Americans, in part at least, for the death of her husband. If the Americans had entered the war sooner it might have been much shorter and maybe Sarah’s father would not have died. To get her mother’s mind back onto a more pleasant tack, Sarah turned to Joe.
"How soon do you want to get married?"
Joe smiled. "As soon as possible."
"Good. How does June suit you?"
"Fine."
"June!" exclaimed Alice. "Can we be ready in time? I'll need to save up ration coupons for the cake and reception, as well as for the dress. And where will you live?"
"The reception should be easy." Sarah smiled. "We'll only have close family and friends, twenty people at most, just a small buffet. I'm sure people will understand, they may even contribute."
"But that's not the way it should be!"
"We're at war, Mum. I'd rather have a small wedding now, than have to wait who knows how many years till things are better."
Alice smiled indulgently at her daughter. "You're right, of course. But where will you live?"
Sarah shook her head. "I'm not sure. I don't suppose I'll be in Coventry much. Even if I was able to get back more frequently, there are no houses."
"If it's all right with you, we could live with my Mum." Joe said with a smile.
Sarah grinned happily. "I'll be happy anywhere as long as I'm with you."
"That's settled then." Alice put the onionskins into the bin for edible waste as she spoke. There were four bins in the kitchen now, the edible waste one for pig swill, bones (for glue), paper and cardboard, and one for tins and other metal (for planes and tanks). She turned to her daughter.
"Now, getting back to more mundane matters, can you set the table please, Sarah? Dinner's almost ready."
Sarah’s twenty four hours in Coventry passed all too swiftly. Time spent alone with Alice was utilised in planning the wedding ceremony. The pattern for the dress was decided on, and Alice promised to find some suitable material. A guest list was made up, a menu for the buffet prepared, and a note made of how many ration coupons they would need. Time spent alone with Joe was passed walking in the unseasonable March sunshine. They wandered through the changed streets and parks of their childhood, yet even the destruction of her city could not dampen Sarah’s happiness. Her life seemed to stretch before her like a welcoming, tree-lined avenue. Every step she took along the path would be in the company of the man she loved, the man who meant more to her than life itself. When the footsteps of the young couple finally brought them to the station and the train that would take Sarah south to Marlborough, they clung to each other for what seemed an eternity. Sarah finally boarded the train, knowing that the next time she saw Joe she would be walking down the aisle to take her place beside him for the rest of her life. The train began to move, slowly at first then with gathering speed, and Sarah leant from the window to watch the tall figure of her fiancé grow smaller as the platform receded. Finally he disappeared in a cloud of steam. Sarah stayed at the window for some time, before finally closing it and throwing herself into one of the empty seats. She was sad to be leaving Joe, but a smile of happiness lit her face as she thought of him. One day the war would be over, and they would never have to part again.
48
Heronfield House was busy during the month of March. While England waited for Hitler to launch his invasion across the English Channel, the Army of North Africa fought on. Some of the wounded found their way to the hospital in the country, away from the London Blitz and the bombing of other industrial sites, in the peace and quiet of the English countryside where wounds and shattered nerves could take the time to heal.
Sarah's professionalism increased, which did not go unnoticed by Sister Freeman who decided that once the war was over she would recommend Sarah for a course that would give her full nursing qualifications. Sarah was unaware of this as she tended her patients, wondering at the conditions they must have been serving in. Where their uniforms of short sleeved shirts and shorts had covered their skin they were as white as milk, but wherever it had been exposed to the burning African sun, their skin had taken on a rich golden hue. Sarah found herself dreaming of the places they must have been and the sights they must have seen.
Some of the patients in the hospital were not wounded, but suffering from unaccustomed illnesses picked up in North Africa. It was one such soldier who fired Sarah’s dreams of travel as he lay weakly in his bed and talked of the historical places he had seen.
"We don't get much time to look around,” he told Sarah, two weeks after her return from Coventry, "but I was lucky. I arrived in Egypt just before Christmas, before the big push started, and had three days before joining my unit. So I travelled up the Nile for a bit." His eyes held a dreamy, faraway look. "Those pyramids are really something, reaching right up into the sky. From a distance they look really smooth. But as you get closer you can see that they're really made up of steps, tapering up to the top."
"Did you walk out to them?"
The young soldier laughed. "No. Believe it or not I went on a camel. Me, an ordinary bloke who wouldn't normally get to leave England, and I've ridden a camel round the pyramids of Egypt!" He sighed happily, as though he could still feel the blazing sun burning his skin and taste the desert sand on his lips. "I saw some beautiful temples too. They look almost as though they were carved yesterday, but they're supposed to be thousands of years old." He shook his head in awe. "It makes you want to find out what mad
e those old Egyptians tick, you know what I mean? Why did they build all of those beautiful places? I saw the Sphinx you know, a lion with a man's head. How am I supposed to know what that's all about?"
Sarah laughed. "This war has certainly broadened your horizons!"
The young solder laughed too. "It's certainly given me an interest in history! When I get out of here, I'm going to find out all I can about the Egyptians."
"Why wait till you get out? Heronfield House has a wonderful library. It's bound to have some books on Egypt."
The soldier frowned. "I doubt if they'll let me use such a posh library."
"Don't be silly!" laughed Sarah. "Sir Michael has turned over this whole house to you patients, and that includes the library. Do you want me to see what I can find for you?"
"Really?"
Sarah nodded.
“Oh, yes, please! That'll give me something interesting to do, until I'm back on my feet again."
"Right. Just wait here and I'll be back in a minute."
"I'm not going anywhere!"
Sarah made her way downstairs to the library, where she soon found a small section of books on ancient Egypt. Taking two down from the shelf, she went out into the hall. She was just about to start back up the stairs when she heard Sister Freeman calling her.
"Sarah! There’s a phone call for you. You can take it in my office."
A phone call? Sarah frowned as she made her way into the office. Who could be calling her? A cold ball of icy dread settled in her stomach as she picked up the receiver.
"Hello? Sarah Porter here."
"Sarah, love. It's Mum."
"Mum! Are you all right?!"
"I'm fine, love." There was a pause. Finally, "It's Joe."
Sarah’s heart seemed to stop beating. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply.
"What is it, Mum?"
"There was another raid last night. I'm afraid Joe's dead, love."
The books slipped unnoticed from Sarah’s fingers, falling to the floor with a dull thud.
"Sarah? Are you still there? Sarah?"
But Sarah could not answer. Life had ended for her when it ended for Joe. What use were words now?
49
Sarah was granted compassionate leave, and took the first available train home to Coventry. As the train made its way north she looked out at the countryside and thought it strange that everything looked the same, that life went on as normal. For her, life stretched endlessly, hopelessly ahead. The crops, which were just beginning to show, would grow swiftly and ripen, the farmers busy producing food for a hungry country. Sarah comforted herself with the thought that she, too, had work to do. But what would she do when the war ended? What would she do to fill the long, empty years? She saw them stretching ahead of her, like the tracks for the train stretched ahead of them until they disappeared into the distance.
At last the train pulled into a Coventry station scarred from the bombing. Sarah alighted with her small case, and began to make her way through the familiar streets of her hometown. The trees which had survived the bombing were breaking into leaf, softening the harsh lines of the damaged buildings. The daffodils waving their heads bravely in sheltered corners reflected a lightening mood in the city as repairs were completed, work resumed and life began again. There was a feeling of optimism in the air. The people of the city had worked together and come through the terrible months after the November bombing, now they felt they could face anything that might confront them during the remainder of the war. Sarah felt none of this optimism. Her feelings were numbed, her emotions buried deep where they would not threaten to overwhelm her. She hardly saw the changes in the city. She walked numbly through the streets until she stood, finally, on her own doorstep. For a moment she waited with eyes closed, summoning all her self-control, before opening the door and stepping wearily into the hall. The door closed behind her, and she heard the scraping of a chair on the kitchen floor. Then Alice appeared in the doorway.
"Sarah?"
Sarah’s bag slipped from her fingers and fell with a thump to the floor.
"Mum." It was little more than a whisper, and at last the tears came as Alice rushed forward to take her daughter in her arms.
“Sarah, love. I'm so sorry." She led her daughter into the kitchen, whispering words of comfort as she sat down beside her. She held her hand tightly as the silent tears fell. After a time Sarah was able to speak again.
"What happened, Mum?"
"He was on duty with the Home Guard. A raid came over at about ten o’clock. After he gave the warning, he went down to see what he could do to help. It was a small raid, only a dozen planes, and the area of destruction was small." Alice wiped the tears from her own cheeks. "It seems that he was helping to make a bomb-damaged house safe when he stood on a mine which had been dropped by a plane. They say he died instantly."
Sarah closed her eyes.
"He didn't suffer?"
"No."
There was silence for a moment, a silence laden with sadness. Then Sarah opened her eyes.
“Why, Mum? Why did Joe have to die?" She stood up and began to pace the kitchen. "I didn't believe it, to begin with. Not Joe. Not my Joe. Not my love." The tears coursed down her cheeks. "I thought he'd be safe when they found him unfit. After the bombing in November, when we'd all survived I thought nothing could ever touch him. Why, Mum?"
Alice shook her head. "Who can say, love?”
She put her arms around Sarah, holding her close as the tears came freely.
"What am I going to do without him? How can I live without Joe?"
Alice had no answer.
It was a cold, wet day when Sarah followed Joe’s coffin to the graveside, as though the sky itself wept at his passing. Sarah was still numbed by it all, unwilling to accept that the wooden box in front of her contained all that was left of her Joe. As she watched the casket being lowered slowly into the ground she toyed with the diamond ring on her finger, as though seeking comfort. He had given it to her, his hands had touched it. She closed her eyes and could see again the spreading chestnut tree arched over their heads, as Joe had placed the ring on her finger and kissed her. Life had been so full of promise then. Now there was nothing to look forward to but loneliness and desolation.
The first spadeful of earth hit the coffin with a dull thud. She opened her eyes and looked across the ugly scar of the grave towards Joe’s parents. They seemed old and bent, not like the lively people she had known, and Sarah realized she was not the only one who was going to miss Joe. His older brother was already in the army, somewhere in North Africa, and his safety was a constant worry to his parents. The fact that Joe was still in England had been a comfort to them. But now he was dead. Alongside the grief etched on their faces, Sarah could see the fear that their other son would be taken from them too.
As the earth continued to rain down on Joe’s coffin, and the skies to weep their sorrow, Joe’s parents turned and led the small funeral party towards the waiting cars. There they stood, looking small and alone, as they waited for Sarah and Alice. The small group remained in silence for a time, not really knowing what to say. Then Alice reached out a comforting hand; taking Joe’s mother’s hand in her own, she squeezed gently.
"I'm sorry about Joe. He was a really good man."
Joe’s mother nodded. "Thank you." She turned towards Sarah. "I know you love Joe as much as we do and this is just as hard for you. After he...after it happened, I went up to his room, to try to be with him once more. I know it sounds foolish, but I just wanted to say goodbye."
Tears welled from Sarah’s eyes as she spoke. "It's not foolish. I wish I’d been able to say goodbye to him, but I couldn't. Now he's gone, and I don't know what to do."
Fumbling in her bag for a moment, Joe’s mother brought out a large, neatly wrapped bundle.
"I found these in his room. Every letter you have sent him since you went away. I thought he'd want you to have them."
Sarah’s heart stood still,
an ache spreading through her chest as she thought of all the words of love she had written. They were all there, in that one neat bundle. They, and the letters that Joe sent to her were all that remained to show that he had once lived, and had loved her. With a look of deep anguish, she reached out a tentative hand to touch the bundle.
"Please. Take them."
She took them and held them close to her heart, eyes closed and head bowed.
"Thank you." Her voice was little more than a whisper. She was hardly aware of her mother’s hand at her elbow, guiding her towards the car they had hired. All she was aware of was the bundle of letters in her hand, and the deep abiding sense of loss, an emptiness in her life where Joe had once been.
50
Tony gazed out of the window at the spreading acres of Thame Park, some miles east of Oxford. The March sunshine highlighted the vibrant green of the newly-budded leaves on the trees which he could see stretching across the parkland.
“God, we’re lucky.” He turned to the young man beside him. “When you think of the places ordinary recruits go for their training, and here we are again, in another beautiful old house.”
“Yes, but we have to work for the privilege!” Adam smiled grimly. “You know, I’m really dreading this. I’ve never been much of an academic.”
“Don’t worry!” Tony smiled encouragingly. “I’m sure communications training won’t be all that bad.”
“Well, we’re about to find out.” Adam inclined his head towards the door as he spoke, and Tony quickly found a seat as the training officer entered. He stood for a moment at the front of the room, perusing the expectant faces gathered before him.
“Right, lads. You’ve proved yourselves to be the calibre of men we need by getting this far. And now you’re facing the last stretch. Not far to go now. But what you learn here will be vital, and you won’t be able to go behind the lines without it. Understand?”
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