by Andi Jaxon
On instinct, I shove the folder into my bag and leave the house, locking the door behind me. I have to know everything. I have to know who helped that son of a bitch torture my best friend. This is the reason I became a journalist, to expose the corruption.
It’s been a few hours since I ran from Alex’s house, stolen case file tucked into my bag. I haven’t removed it from my bag, I can’t look at it yet. The pictures of Ben are still flipping through my brain, making my heart hurt and my stomach turn. I don’t know how anyone can live through something like that. I’ve always loved Alister for what he’s done for Ben, but now I love him even more.
A knock on my door startles me. My heart jumps to my throat as I stare at it, knowing full well that it won’t keep anyone out. Creeping to the window, I peek out and let out a relieved breath when I see Alex. Old jeans and a tool belt hanging low on his hips, a white wife beater tank top showing off his ink covered muscles. Aviators cover his eyes, giving him a Hollywood look that makes my knees weak.
Opening the door, sass and resting bitch face wrapped around me like a warm blanket, I raise an eyebrow at him but don’t say anything.
Alex rests his hands on the door frame, leaning closer to me, that damn smirk lifting one side of his lips. Lips that I’ve felt against mine. Lips that know my skin.
My attitude spurs him on, turning the smirk into a full on smile. “Hey, Gorgeous,” eyebrows wagging at me.
“What do you want, Alexander?” I sigh, arms crossing over my chest.
“I love it when you use that snooty tone, makes me hard.”
“Looking at concrete makes you hard, you’re basically a teenager.”
“Fuck, I love you. No one gives it like you do.” He winks before straightening up. “I’m here to fix your door. I need to sleep so I can focus at work, having you in my bed is exhausting. But I promised myself I wouldn’t sleep properly until your door was as good as new.”
Pretending to think about it, my finger taps on my chin. “You came on to me. I did nothing to instigate it and trust me, it won’t be happening again.” Turning, I head back to my couch, fully prepared to ignore him while he works.
I’m stopped by his hand grasping my upper arm. Jerking away from him, flashes of my nightmare riot behind my eyes.
“Don’t touch me!” even to me, my voice is shrill. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and force the images from my mind. When my eyes open, Alex is standing a few feet from me, hands in his pockets, watching me.
“What did you see?” his voice is soft, head leaning to one side, eyes squinting. I’m under a microscope and I hate it.
“Nothing. Just do what you came to do and leave me alone.” Sitting on the couch, I pull my computer onto my lap. In my peripheral, I watch him. Hoping he’ll leave me be, at least give me a few minutes to pull my shit together. Why am I so fucking weak around him? I despise being weak. I’ve worked so hard to move past those damn weaknesses. Why all of a sudden am I having panic attacks? Trigger episodes? Nightmares?
Alex kneels in front of me, moving the laptop. The warmth of his hands penetrates the fabric of my shorts as his palms settle on my hips. Even with our size difference, he’s looking up at me. “What is it about you? Why do I argue with you and want to kiss you at the same time? I want to be the one you turn too but you won’t let me.” His eyes zero in on my lips, eyebrows drawn together. I’m not sure he meant to say anything out loud, it definitely feels like internal questions.
Self-conscious, the tip of my tongue drags across my lower lip. Arousal flashes in his eyes. His breath brushes against my mouth. “Kristen,” my name is whispered like a prayer.
Dragging my eyes away from his lips, I’m surprised to see how close I am to him. My hands gripping the muscles of his arms, my face just an inch from his.
Fuck! I can’t do this.
Pulling away from him, I sit back in my seat and cross my arms over my chest. “I said don’t touch me.” The words come out harsh.
Alex sits back on his shins, his hands on his thighs. He’s looking at me once again like he’s studying me. Holding his stare with a hard one of my own, I’m not backing down. He needs to be put back into his frenemy box. We are not going to be friends that fuck, we aren’t going to be a couple, we don’t even like each other.
With a nod, he slides his sunglasses back on and gets to work on the front door.
Alex
NOTHING GOES AS PLANNED when it comes to Kristen. Nothing. It’s damn frustrating. I know she has Ben’s case file, the one that was in my bag. There’s no other place it could be. Since I have a personal relationship with the victim, I’m not supposed to have it, conflict of interest and all that. I meant to talk to her about it when I got here but she opened the door with that bitchy look on her face and I was done for. That look gets me hard quicker than a skin mag when I was 15.
What I wouldn’t give to have her wrapped around me again. Arms, legs, mouth. She’s so damn tiny but she can take me.
Then I reached for her, that scared little girl that hides inside of her came out for just a second and it broke me. No one should have to live in fear.
Her words from earlier hit me, it won’t be happening again.
Setting my tools down, I grab a water bottle and sit on the couch next to her. She gives me a sideways glance, rolls her eyes, and goes back to whatever she was doing on the computer before I sat down.
“I know you have my case file.”
Her body freezes, tightening, but she doesn’t say anything.
“I need it back.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” That snotty, high society tone makes me smile.
“Don’t make me arrest you for impeding an ongoing investigation.”
“If you really think getting arrested will stop me from finding out the truth, you don’t know anything about me.” She shrugs nonchalantly. “And, it wouldn’t be the first time.”
Turning my body to face hers, I pull one leg up on the couch between us and lean back against the arm rest.
“Oh, I’m fully aware of your arrest record. It’s one of the things I admire about you actually, you won’t let anything stop you.”
“Compliments aren’t going to get you what you want.”
“How about a compromise? Or a barter?” Her fingers still on the keyboard, I have her attention now.
“What are you thinking?” finally turning to look at me, her eyebrow raised.
I cover my smirk with my hand, wiping at my mouth. “Well, I’ll let you hold on to the file for another day or two, but you have to tell me something.” My gaze meets hers, holding her.
“I hate peas. There, I told you something, see you in two days.” She turns back to the computer and I chuckle. The gumption on this chick.
“Oh no, it’s going to be something good.” My smirk falls as I think of her earlier trigger. I barely touched her arm but she saw something. I want to know what it was.
“Well, you already know I lost my virginity to Ben as a teenager. I have nothing else to tell you.” We’ll get into that later, I definitely need to know more about it.
“What did you see? Earlier, when I touched your arm.” My voice is quiet, calm. No hint of playing or flirtation to be found. Kristen jerks as if I struck her, tension rolling off her in waves. It almost makes me regret the question, almost.
I wait semi patiently for her to start talking. I won’t push her any farther and if she really balks, I’ll ask something else. I want to know her. I desperately want to know everything about her. I want to be there in the middle of the night when a nightmare grabs ahold of her. I want to be the face in the crowd that she looks for when something goes wrong. I want her to need me.
I’m dragged out of my internal monologue when she speaks. “I used to have these nightmares about Ben’s house that would morph or change into a house I didn’t know.” She’s faraway, no longer in the room with me but lost in her head. Her eyes zoned out, not looking at anything external.<
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“I was little, three maybe four, always hiding from a man I called ‘Daddy,’ but he’s not my Father. He never had a face, but I remember what his body looked like, how he smelled. The sound of his walk on the carpeted floor.” She stops speaking and my breathing stops as a tear falls down her cheek. My chest is tight, my gut in a knot. I’ve never heard her story, but I know what comes next. I’ve seen it time and again, heard it told over and over. Abuse. Pain. Torment… but it doesn’t make sense.
“Kristen.” I don’t want to startle her, she’s so deep in her own mind that I’m not sure how she would react. “Hey, Gorgeous,” my voice a little louder. Her eyes focus and she shakes her head, wipes the wetness from her cheeks before looking at me.
“Bring the file with you on Thursday. You’re still coming to dinner, right?”
“Yeah,” she nods her head.
“Your door is fixed so I’ll get out of your hair. Call me if you need anything, okay?” I kneel down in front of her, my hands on her knees. She catches my eyes and nods again. Standing, I kiss her hair and exit her apartment, locking the door behind me.
My hands itch to touch her every time she’s near me. I’ve never been drawn to anyone like I am to her, like the world revolves around her. She’s a distraction I don’t need but one I’m beginning to crave. One romp between the sheets was not enough. Not nearly enough.
The week has passed excruciatingly slow. Work has been pretty quiet which is nice but makes the hours drag. Milo has come by my house twice to ask when ‘the pretty girl’ is going to come back. I hate not having an answer for him but the few messages I’ve sent to Kristen, she hasn’t responded too. I’ve stayed away from her, not wanting to push my luck and have her hate me even more, but it’s fucking hard. I keep telling myself that she’s too busy studying the case file to notice her phone. Hell, maybe she’s found something that I missed.
Thursday is finally here and I’m on my way to my parent’s house for our weekly dinner. If she doesn’t show up tonight, I’m going to her apartment and dragging her out. Pulling up to the curb out front, I smirk when I see Alister’s car. For once, he’s first.
Knocking as I open the door to my childhood home, the scent of pot roast wafts over me. My stomach growls loud enough for Dad to turn toward me. “Are you ever not hungry?”
“Not since I was about three.” Dad shakes his head, Alister and Ben chuckle.
Alister nods his head at me, “Nice of you to show up.”
“I let you get this win. It won’t happen again.” I say as I walk past them toward the kitchen. Mom is just pulling the roast out of the oven when I enter. “Smells fantastic, Ma.”
A smile lights up her face, making her eyes sparkle. “Well thank you, dear.” She leans her cheek up for me to kiss which I don’t hesitate to do.
“Do you need any help?” I stand behind her, my hands on her shoulders.
“I don’t think so,” she sighs, looking around.
Kissing the top of her head, I set out to find Ben. I have some questions I’m hoping he can answer.
Dad, Ben, and Alister are all sitting on the couch watching football. Ben leaning his head onto Alister’s shoulder, Ali with his hand on Ben’s leg. Clearing my throat, they all look up at me.
“I don’t mean to break up whatever this is, but Ben, can I talk to you for a moment?” Alister looks concerned, Ben looks surprised, and since it has nothing to do with him, Dad turns back to the tv.
“Sure,” Ben kisses Alister’s cheek and stands to follow me. I lead him to the back deck and close the door behind him. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?” he wraps his arms around himself, preparing for bad news.
“No, nothing bad. I just wanted to ask you a few questions about Kristen.”
His demeanor changes, instantly he’s more relaxed. “Oh, okay.”
“Do you know anything about her life before you met her?”
Ben’s eyebrows pull together. “What do you mean?”
“Like, has she always lived in Seattle or was she born somewhere else? Did she ever go spend the summer with grandparents, aunts, and uncles? Things like that.”
“She was born here in Seattle, the house her parents own is the only house she’s lived in. I’ve seen baby pictures of her and her parents at that house.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, Ben thinks for a moment. “She has family, aunts, uncles, cousins, shit like that, but they’re estranged. Every once in a while, she sees them. Something happened when she was little, and her parents stopped talking to their families. I don’t know what it was.”
The possibilities are spinning through my head, someone abused her. It had to have happened. You don’t get that kind of emotional trigger from a bad dream. A nightmare is just how her brain choose to deal with it. She was so little, so young, it makes sense.
“Thanks,” I mumble, as a car door closing catches my attention.
“No problem.” He shrugs, going back into the house. I stay on the deck, watching for Kristen to enter my childhood home. She’s been here before, but it feels different this time, heavier.
The second my eyes see her, the breath is stolen from my lungs. Her beautiful blonde hair is curled, dancing around her shoulders. A black knee length dress hugs her body perfectly. Showing off her figure but not enough skin to make her look trashy or overtly sexual. Her legs are a mile long with the lift her heels are giving her. I can only imagine how her ass looks.
My entire body is hard and tense, at the sight of her. What I wouldn’t give to have her under me again, right this second. Opening the sliding door, I step inside and her eyes catch mine. She’s frazzled, nervous. Her hands have a slight tremor as she hands my mom a bottle of wine.
“Evening, Gorgeous.” The easy going, laid back, persona sliding on as easily as pulling on a shirt. “That’s some dress.”
“Alexander Steven Bennet, be nice.” I’m quickly chastised with a finger in my chest by Mom before she heads into the kitchen.
“Thank you so much for pointing out just how overdressed I am.” The smile she throws my way is anything but sincere, the whispered “jerk” as she strides past me has me chuckling. Tonight, is going to be fun.
Kristen
I’M AN IDIOT. WHY didn’t I think this through? What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m wearing heels for crying out loud.
Slipping off the offending foot ware, I leave them at the door. I already feel a little less stiff, less fake. My parents never would have let me eat dinner in bare feet. Heading to the kitchen, I see Jane and give her a hug.
“Hello, dear!” her smile welcoming as always.
“Hello, Jane. You don’t happen to have a hair tie I can have, do you?”
“Oh sure, in my bathroom. Door at the end of the hall, help yourself.”
“Thank you so much!”
Heading down the hallway, I open the door she told me and find myself in the master bedroom. I smile at the pictures of her and David over the years. Always smiling, always so much in love. My parents don’t have a single picture that shows love, adoration, or even affection. They’re always cold, posed, and professional.
Slowly wandering the room, smiling to myself at the pictures, Alex startles me with a cough. Whipping around, hand on my chest, I glare at him. “What?”
“What what? What are you doing sneaking around my parent’s bedroom? It’s kinda creepy.” Hands in his pockets, he leans on the door frame.
“I’m getting a hair tie. Your mom knows I’m in here.” Crossing my arms and cocking a hip.
“My mom said you could get a hair tie from the bathroom, not hang out in her room and stare at her pictures.” He looks around the room then back to me and shivers. “If you find toys I really don’t want to know.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” my lips curling in disgust. “I’m not snooping. I got distracted by the pictures and now you. Go away.” Turning my back to him, I stomp to the bathroom and locate a hair band. Scooping my hair up into a high ponytail, th
e curls twirl around my neck and shoulders. Checking out my reflection in the mirror, I’m still too dressed up.
I remove the pearl necklace and studs from my ears, not needing any jokes from Alex about pearl necklaces. I roll my eyes at myself, surprised he hasn’t mentioned it yet.
The black sheath dress isn’t going to get any less fancy so I’m as casual as I can get. What I wouldn’t give for jeans right now. Leaving the bathroom with my necklace and earrings in hand, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding when Alex isn’t still standing there. With one last glance at the pictures, I head back down the hallway to the dining room. Bracing myself for the verbal sparring match that I know is coming, I take a seat at the table as Jane announces dinner is ready.
The boys all come to the table, talking sports and statistics. Somehow, I end up sitting across from Alex with Ben next to me. Alex gives me a shit eating grin when he sits down, winking when I lift a lip at him.
Lifting my water glass to my lips I take a sip of the ice water as platters of meat and veggies get passed around the table. I serve my plate and pass it on, gawking at the pile on Ben’s plate.
“Jeez. Are you a growing boy again?”
Ben gives me a big grin around a mouth full of food. “That must be your problem, Gorgeous.” Alex pipes up. “You’ve been dating boys instead of men. It takes a lot of food to fuel a man.”
“And what do you know about my dating history?” I calmly sip my water again. “I’m sure yours could make a sailor blush.”
Sitting back in his chair, he smiles at me then purses his lips. “What do you know about my dating history? I can assure you it’s short. I don’t date.”
“That’s right. You just have sex with them and bounce. Classy.” I can feel my mother’s expression on my face. I both hate it and cherish it in this moment. I hate that I can slip into that cold, inhospitable society so effortlessly, but I need every weapon at my disposable against Alexander Bennet.