by Dave Ferraro
Shou laughed lightly and leaned in closer to Enenra. “So do I. And I never said that you wouldn’t be rewarded.” He pushed his lips to Enenra’s, and the yokai, startled at first, kissed him back with enthusiasm.
Yumiko was so shocked that she stared. After a minute, she lowered her eyes and elbowed Reina to do the same.
Tanuki frowned and tilted his head. “So, uh, Yumiko. Did you…?”
“No,” Yumiko replied curtly.
A moment later, Shou and Enenra pulled away from each other and Shou grinned at Enenra openly. “My hero.”
Enenra looked back at him with interest. “That was a sign of affection.”
“Yes,” Shou said, shyly looking away. He glanced at Yumiko, then turned his eyes from her quickly. “And there’s more where that came from.”
Enenra blinked, then smiled at them all. “I’m keeping him.”
“You can try,” Shou snorted, pushing him away. “But for now: rest.”
“For all of us,” Yumiko added. She tried to catch Shou’s eye, but he wouldn’t look in her direction. She sighed as she gave up trying. “Let’s see if we can round up any more volunteers to help us. We leave at first light. And then we’re going to show Shuten-Doji what happens when he messes with our friends.”
Chapter Nineteen
“The guest rooms are through here,” Enenra said, gesturing down the hall. He looked back at Yumiko, eyebrow raised.
Yumiko watched Reina walk ahead, then pause, looking back curiously.
“Tanuki,” Yumiko glanced down at the raccoon-dog. “Show Reina to her room, would you?”
Tanuki hesitated, but nodded, scurrying ahead of Reina. “This way, my lady. And I can show you where you can take a bath too.”
Reina snorted. “You wish.” She looked back at Yumiko, and nodded to her, before following Tanuki.
“What would you like?” Enenra asked, cocking his head, once they were alone.
Yumiko turned to look him square in the face. “If Brian was going to have me marry him, and live with him here, he must have had a place set aside for me.”
Enenra grinned slowly. “You would have stayed in one of the guest rooms until the union. I think what you’re asking to see is his rooms.”
“And what if I am?”
With a shrug, Enenra turned around and led her up the hall in the opposite direction. After a series of turns, he stopped before a paper door. He slid it aside and gestured for her to step within. Hesitantly, she obliged. She slid off her shoes as she gazed around a sparsely furnished living room. Bamboo trees grew in cream pots at the periphery of the room, while beautiful watercolor paintings hung on the walls, boasting orange and black koi, as well as trees and mountainsides.
“The great Kagami’s rooms,” Enenra swept his arm before him dramatically. He pointed to the left, at another sliding door. “Through there, he has a dining area. Beyond that, a bedroom and bath.”
“And what is that?” Yumiko asked, gesturing toward the back of the room, where a table sat low to the ground in front of a cushion. On the table sat an ink stone and ink stick, as well as a black brush with white bristles. On the floor beside the table were sheets of pristine white paper.
Enenra nodded. “I often find Kagami…or Brian, if you prefer, at that table when I come to visit. He uses sumi ink when he does this. Zen brush calligraphy. He says it calms him, helps him focus.”
Yumiko’s eyes narrowed at the supplies, then darted up to the walls, covered by paintings. “But not just calligraphy. He did those too.”
“Of course.”
Yumiko stepped over to a painting of black and gold fish, taking in the confident forms of the koi, slippery as if truly submerged in water. “They’re beautiful.”
Enenra shrugged.
“What do you mean, ‘when you come to visit’?” Yumiko asked, turning toward him. “You don’t stay here?”
“Nope. I like to roam the world here, scattered as smoke, drifting over the beautiful plains and forests. It’s peaceful, makes me feel like I’m one with this world as it takes me where it will.”
“How did you come to be here? Did Brian send you here?”
“Yes,” Enenra answered, leaning against a wall. “He found me aimlessly swirling over a dead fire, and thought that I might like it here, with others like me.”
“And do you?”
Enenra considered. “I like it well enough. Humans don’t bother me here. They can be irritating and…everywhere. In Kagami’s world, it’s so…peaceful.”
Yumiko nodded. “Thank you, Enenra. That will be all.”
Enenra frowned and stood straight. “Are you dismissing me?”
“You catch on fast.”
He blinked for a moment, then chuckled. “Very well, your highness. Have fun poking through your fiancee’s private things.” He closed the paper door behind him.
“He poked around in my life,” Yumiko muttered, looking around. “It’s about time I return the favor.” She looked at all of the paintings on the walls carefully, scrutinizing his talent, and decided that he was a good artist. He really had an eye for creating nature images, and making them dream-like and vivid. Walking over to the table, she gently caressed the ink stone and imagined Brian sitting on the cushion, leaning over the paper, brush in hand as his arms made ink strokes, strong and sure. His arm muscles would stretch and bunch, his back would grow taut. The expression on his face would be…focused, his eyes flashing as the image before him came to life.
Yumiko let herself into his dining room, sparse and empty, aside from the wall of beautiful china in a cabinet at the back of the room. One cup with swirls of painted cherry blossoms had been left behind on the table, remnants of green tea at the bottom. She envisioned Brian lounging, sipping at a cup as he sloughed off his grogginess each morning.
And then she walked into his bedroom. It was very utilitarian as well, bright and open. A door at the back of the room had been left open, allowing in a glimpse of dusk as the sun set for the evening. She stepped outside and smiled at a wide balcony. Untouched snow covered the stone floor, and clumped together atop a railing that looked out over the mountain. It was quite a breathtaking view. It was still strange not to hear the wind in her ears as it blew the snow into a frenzy, or to feel the cold on her exposed face, but she could see how Brian could enjoy it here.
She stared to the west as the sun sank, a red orb in the sky, dropping behind a stony outcropping, stretching shadows over the mountainside. With a sigh, she turned back to Brian’s bed and sat on the edge, smoothing her hand over the cream cotton sheets, which had been pulled tightly and smoothed meticulously as the bed had been made.
She dropped her head onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling, knowing that Brian had stared up at this ceiling night after night while she’d been terrified of him. Only to find that she couldn’t help but like him. She closed her eyes tightly and inhaled deeply, willing to smell him in the room, but finding that the mirror world wouldn’t indulge her small request. So she imagined him instead. Imagined his smile, that sent her heart skipping, his laugh that made her blush. She imagined his hand pushing a strand of hair out of her eyes, and coming into contact with her skin just briefly, enough to send a shiver through her body. His soapy clean smell and spicy aftershave. His beautiful, intense blue eyes, trying to read what she was thinking. She imagined his gentle voice as he told her that he loved her. And his emotional response as she told him that she loved him too.
She choked back a sob and grabbed a pillow, hugging it tightly against her, like it was a life preserver. Because she was drowning in emotion, and she didn’t know what to do.
***
“So, why the act?” Yumiko asked, crossing her arms as she stared at Shou the next morning in the guest bathroom.
Shou was combing his hair carefully, avoiding her eyes. “I wasn’t acting. I’m just flirtatious by nature.”
Yumiko rolled her eyes.
“What do you want me to say?” Shou demanded, turning to look a
t her. He waved the comb in his hand like he was a conductor. “Being a host…it makes me feel good about myself. It makes me feel wanted. Women want me, and I give them the attention that they’re starved for. It’s win-win. And I make a lot of money doing it. That’s all.”
Yumiko shook her head in disbelief. “Just when I think I’ve got you figured out, you go and surprise me.”
Shou grinned and leaned back against the sink. “Yeah, like you’re one to talk.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing,” Shou shrugged and turned his back on her again, forcing his hair into compliance. “None of us are who we pretend to be, you know. That’s why I empathize with Brian. Hiding who he was, trying to make you understand, wanting you to understand so desperately. I was like that too. But do you know what I got from people around me? Ridicule. I confided in my best friend, hoping that someone would understand and…and would get it. But no. She told everyone. I was gay and the kids at my school despised me for being different. I was harassed constantly. I was beat up a few times. Called fag up and down the halls. I barely got through graduation.”
Yumiko hadn’t expected such a confession and held her breath, for fear that she would break the delicate spell of the room. “That must have been terrible.”
Shou shrugged. “Not as bad as it was at home. My mom raised me. I could never do anything to please her. She always called me a screw-up, came home drunk. She expected me to do all the chores and clear out when she brought yet another guy home.” He took a deep breath. “Is it really any wonder that I looked for attention from anyone who would give it?” He turned to Yumiko. “I mean, do you get why I went to Madame Mori? You have…everything I want. A family, friends. People who understand you and want you around. Yet, you take it all for granted. You’re so caught up in your future with Kagami that you don’t even realize what’s around you. It’s just…sad. And even that is perfect. Your life’s like a goddamn fairy tale.”
Yumiko was stunned into silence. As she absorbed what Shou said, she watched him continue to fiddle with his hair, then smooth out his shirt, even though it was unnecessary.
“Maybe I do take it for granted,” she admitted softly. She hesitated. “But…we rescued you for a reason, Shou. You’re my friend too. Reina, Brian, Tanuki…we all care about you.”
Shou stiffened, and still had his back to her, but he didn’t resist when she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him.
“We’re glad that you’re back,” she whispered. “Even if you can be an ass sometimes.”
Shou chuckled and turned, embracing her as well. He laid his cheek against the top of her head and they enjoyed each other’s solid presence.
“How touching.”
Shou struggled out of Yumiko’s arms like he’d been slapped and scowled at Enenra. “What do you want?”
“What?” Enenra asked innocently. “No good morning kiss?”
Scowling, Shou stalked past him and slammed the door shut. Without sound, it just didn’t have the same impact, however, especially since the door hit the frame and reopened in his wake.
“Was it something I said?” Enenra wondered, and Yumiko had to try to decide if he seriously didn’t understand or if he was mocking. It was hard to tell with him.
“Is everything ready?” Yumiko asked him.
“I think I need a hug too.”
Yumiko sighed deeply and watched the smile slide into place on Enenra’s ashen face. “You are really pushing it, you know. I get that you don’t understand humans very well, and you can’t really grasp the whole emotional spectrum, but you need to be more sensitive.”
“Is that right? I think you’re more like me than you care to admit,” Enenra claimed boldly. He crossed his arms as Yumiko frowned. “Shou’s right. You’re closed off from the people around you. You hide inside yourself. You have ever since your mother ran away and left you as a little girl.”
“She didn’t run away,” Yumiko said, eyes narrowing. “She was taken from me.”
Enenra chuckled. “If you say so. But let’s be honest for a moment, shall we? You act cold, like nothing can hurt you. You put up a wall to push people away, because you’ve been hurt. And you buried yourself in learning to fight yokai because you didn’t want to be hurt again. You’ve had as little to do with humans over the past decade as I have.”
Yumiko tried not to let his words affect her, but she found herself shaking with rage. Even if there was truth to his words, he had no right to rub her face in her faults. She stomped out of the room without another word. She was too angry to keep herself in check. And she didn’t trust that she would be able to reply in a steady voice.
“You felt no control in your life,” Enenra’s voice followed her out into the hall. “Your future had been decided for you, so you chose to hunt yokai and become an expert at killing them so that you could control something.”
I control my destiny, Yumiko thought heatedly as she stormed away from Enenra. Not a day goes by that I don’t act how I want to act. And if I decide that I want to hunt yokai, I will. If I decide that I want to risk my life saving Brian, I will. And if I feel like I could learn to love Brian…then perhaps fate hasn’t dealt such a bad hand, after all.
I love Brian.
Yumiko stopped suddenly and leaned against the wall for support as the realization hit her. She was determined to save him. She would sacrifice herself. She would sacrifice her friends. She would do anything to save Brian from Shuten-Doji. Because she loved him. She didn’t know why. It was just a feeling, an urge to protect him fiercely, then fold herself into him. She didn’t know if she would be okay if she didn’t save him.
Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Yumiko realized that that scared her to death. And she also realized that Enenra was right. Because being in love meant that she wasn’t in control. And she very much wanted to be in control of her emotions. But it seemed that her emotions had plans counter to her rational mind’s.
But she would learn to live with that. If she could hunt down and fight the most fearsome yokai out there in a desperate bid for control, then she could look herself in the mirror and face the truths that she found there.
Even if she didn’t like what she saw.
Chapter Twenty
Yumiko pulled her hair back into a ponytail to keep it out of her face, and pulled on her freshly-laundered jeans and t-shirt, choosing a light jacket to throw on over it. She stared into the mirror in Brian’s bedroom for a moment, tilting her face to and fro. She was usually so self-conscious of who was watching her when she looked into mirrors that she never took the time to really look at herself. She was striking, but she also noticed the intense eyes, the serious set to her mouth. Her beauty was apparent, but so also was her burden.
She stepped back and looked at her outfit, noting that it fit her snugly. She looked like she was ready to fight a horde of evil monsters to win back her love. The smile that she caught in the mirror was startling. Her whole face lifted and seemed to brighten the room. Was that how other people saw her?
Shaking her head, she turned from her reflection and focused on the swords hanging over Brian’s bed. She pulled a dagger from its sheath and admired the curve of the blade. She spied a holster on a stand, and decided that it wouldn’t hurt to take it with her. Brian would need something to fight with, once they freed him. And should anything happen to her mirror sword, another option would be appreciated.
Satisfied, Yumiko stepped out of the bedroom and started. Two steaming cups of tea were set out on the dining table. She hadn’t heard anyone come in, but of course she wouldn’t have, would she? Alarm clocks, doorbells, simple knocks…how did Brian stand the deafening silence of this place? She wasn’t sure she was suited to this world, even if she went through with her obligations.
“Yumiko.”
Turning her head, Yumiko’s eyes widened as Madame Mori stepped out of the little kitchen area.
“Sensei!” Yumiko bowed, relief flooding through her.
“I wasn’t expecting you.”
“Apparently,” Mori sniffed, gesturing toward the table. “Sit. We have matters to discuss.”
Yumiko obeyed and watched the steam rise from her teacup as Mori took a seating position. “How did you get here?”
“Ame-Onna came for me,” Mori said, taking a sip of tea. She made a face and set it back down. “This place isn’t exactly comforting,” she noted. “But it has its charms.”
Yumiko took a sip from her tea and saw what she meant. The tea tasted like nothing and had no temperature, despite the steam. It may as well have been lukewarm water. She wondered how Brian tolerated it.
“So, you are going to rescue Kagami,” Mori said bluntly. “Rather ironic, wouldn’t you say?”
Yumiko licked her lips. She hadn’t really prepared how she was going to justify her actions to Mori, strange as they were. But her priorities had shifted, as had her feelings. “He’s not who I thought he was,” she said carefully.
“I know,” Mori agreed. “I’ve been talking with Reina for a few hours since I arrived.”
“Reina?” Yumiko looked up, confused.
“She was the first person I came across,” Mori waved the question away. “She filled me in on what has transpired. And I’m happy for how things have turned out for you. Your future looks much brighter.”
“Assuming that we save Brian,” Yumiko allowed. “Otherwise, it looks as if none of our futures will be very bright.”
Mori smiled thinly at this. “You’ve changed, Yumiko. Over the years. The anger you were filled with when you first came to me melted away as you trained. It has become strength of character and discipline. But it has left you isolated and lonely. You deserve happiness.” Mori lifted her teacup, then thought better of it and set it back down, placing her hands in her lap. “Do you truly love him, Yumiko?”
Yumiko looked away as she felt the heat rise to her cheeks. “I think so.”
Mori let out a deep breath. “That is good to hear.”
“Is it?” Yumiko asked softly. “You aren’t…disappointed?” She chanced a look up at her sensei to see a kind expression on Mori’s face.