by Honor James
“Well that’s very good. All right, I look forward to this. I look forward to being able to have this time with you guys. I think that this is going to be a very good thing for all of us. Thank you for finding me. I know that I said it before but I’m saying it again. Thank you for finding me.”
“You don’t have to thank me, not now, not ever,” he said softly. “I did have some selfish reasons for finding you, don’t forget. But, you are very, very welcome, Susan.” Moving closer, he hugged his arm around her shoulders and smiled at her. When the elevator stopped he led her out into a large square space and over to a door on their right. Unlocking it he let her go ahead of him and then followed her in. “Welcome home.”
Susan’s eyes went wide when she took in the first site of the loft. “Holy crap.” He hadn’t been kidding when he said that it was a wide and huge open space. “This is. Seriously? This is our home?” It was stunning. The floor to ceiling windows, the reclaimed wood floors with the wooden posts here and there. She looked to the left and saw the kitchen, “Wow.” It was a gourmet kitchen, and clean as a pin. “Wow,” she said again.
“Yup, this is us.” He laughed softly. “Come on, I’ll show you to the bedrooms and you can see where you can bunk when you’re not hanging with us. Or if you just need some down time away from us.” Putting a hand on her back he pushed her gently toward the only hall in the place and toward a series of doors. “End of the hall is Quinn, it’s the biggest space so you’ll have room to work with him in there until he’s ready to get further out into the place. And this one is your room,” he grinned, pushing open a door.
“Sounds like a plan.” She looked forward to having her own space but she still wanted to be with them, too. “Will I still be able to sleep with the two of you? I want this to be more than just physical every now and again. I want to fall asleep with you and wake up in your arms. Think that’s going to be possible?”
“Absolutely,” he said softly. “This is just so you have your own space. I’m sure you’ll have days when you need to decompress, and this is the space to do it. But you are always welcome in my bed and, I may be going out on a limb here, but I’m betting Quinn will say the same. After all, he seemed so ho-hum with seeing you again. And he really didn’t seem to mind you leaving him at the house earlier,” he grinned at her. He was teasing her, she knew it.
That had her laughing. “Oh you are too funny. He was very unhappy with us leaving him alone at the house and we both know it. I was just surprised that he was as happy to see me as I was to see him awake.” She had a wistful sigh to her voice, a need that was there and clear. “I can’t believe that he’s awake. That we are going to all be together and have a life, or hopefully have a life together.”
“We’re very definitely going to have a life, together,” he said with a grin. Checking his watch, he frowned. “They should be here any minute. Let’s head downstairs so I can introduce you to the security guys. I’ll have to introduce Quinn to them as well since this is, obviously, the first time he’s been here.” Stepping back out of her room, he waved a hand toward the main living spaces and the front door.
“This is very true. We want to ensure that they know Quinn and I both so that they don’t toss us out on our ear.” Susan, however, slipped her hand into Jordan’s and sighed. “Let’s get Quinn in here and settled. We will figure everything out together eventually. Right?”
“Likely,” he said and then laughed when she looked up at him. “Oh, don’t worry so much,” he said. He shut the door behind them and led her back to the elevator. “We will get it all worked out, promise. There will be bumps along the way I'm sure, but that’s life. We will get through it all and have the life we’re supposed to.”
“I’m glad that you are as confident as you are. I guess that I’m still just completely and utterly shocked. Shocked that after as many years as we have known each other you finally threw caution to the wind and made love with me. Shocked that there might be a chance that Quinn feels the same way. I’m just.” She was stunned. She was praying that this wasn’t a dream and she would wake up once more feeling lifeless, lost, and lonely.
“I would have done it sooner, sweetheart, but you weren’t really giving off the jump me now vibes. Had you been…” He shrugged slightly. “Let’s just say we would have been much happier.” He grinned. He didn’t get a chance to say more as they’d reached the lobby. Taking her hand Jordan led her to the security desk and introduced her to Paul and Manuel, as well as Andrew, the doorman.
Susan waited until they were alone again and looked up at Jordan, a crooked grin on her face. “Well there is that. I didn’t give those vibes off though because I was worried that if I had I would have somehow hurt our friendship. Weird I know. That and I was so damn confused for what I was feeling for Quinn and you both. It was not a comfortable place to be, at all.”
“I know it sounds simple now, but you really should have said something.” He bumped his shoulder to hers. “We could have talked, figured it out and been in a much happier place a lot sooner. But, that is the past and we are now looking to the future, so let’s not keep stuff hidden from us any more, okay?”
“I will try.” She looked up at Jordan and gave a small smile. “I honestly will try but you have to remember that I’ve spent a number of years keeping my own council and not allowing anyone close to me. I will try to recall to talk to you but if you see me trying to work through something and I’m not talking, bug me until I do?” He would know when she had issues, he always did oddly enough.
“Deal.” He nodded. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he hugged her close. “Here comes the ambulance. You ready for cranky pants again?” he asked, a grin on his face. Wiggling his eyebrows at her, he let his hand fall to her back and gently urged her out the front doors. “Andrew, this will be Quinn. Can we prop the doors open for a little extra room?”
“Of course, sir.” The door man nodded with a smile.
“He’s only cranky to you,” Susan said with a smirk and helped to prop the doors open. “Then again he hasn’t been awake for me yet so we don’t really know yet do we? I’m sure that he’s going to be an utter bear when I start making his happy butt work out like mad to get his balance back so that he’s able to walk. He’s really not going to like me at all so I’m sure that you are going to hear a great deal about that in the days to come.”
“I have a feeling he’ll still like you even when you are working his ass off. He’s definitely got a soft spot all for you,” Jordan said. Winking at her, he walked toward the ambulance and spoke with the two EMTs. He threw his head back and laughed at something the one said and shook his head. Shooting her a huge grin he disappeared around the back and out of sight.
Susan watched as they pulled the gurney out that held Quinn and she smiled. “Hey you. I see that you got here without incident.” She moved automatically to his side, her fingers going to his pulse and checking it just to ensure that he was truly okay. “Anything happening that I need to know about?” she asked as they walked toward the door.
The EMTs shared a look that had Jordan snickering. “Medically, no,” the one EMT told her.
“Oh, but tell her the non-medical, I dare you.” Jordan snickered some more.
“Shut up,” Quinn muttered, throwing a glare at his friend.
Another shared looks and the EMTs shook their heads. “Probably best we don’t,” the other one said. They both didn’t look at her again and hustled the gurney into the building as quickly as they could.
“Chickens,” Jordan said with a laugh. He was holding his gut as he walked with them toward the elevator.
“I would really and truly love to know what this is. Will you tell me later?” She hated being on the outside of a joke, and she really didn’t like the way that they were making it out to be that the joke was either about her or about Quinn. “However I suggest that you stop laughing at him, Jordan, or you are going to find yourself sleeping on the fire escape.”
“I’ll tell you later and, no, I don’t think I will.” Jordan grinned. Quinn was still glowering at him but Jordan didn’t seem to be phased in the least. He whistled as they took the elevator up to the loft and then stood out of the way while the EMTs wheeled Quinn inside. “Down the hall, door right at the end is where he’ll be going.”
She was seriously going to have to beat Jordan. She gave the EMTs a glare and followed along. Once they had Quinn settled Susan set about ensuring that he had everything that he possibly wanted, letting Jordan let the men out. “So do you want to tell me why they were laughing and carrying on as they were?”
“Oh, you mean why Jordan was laughing and why they were heavily into avoidance?” Quinn asked in a disgruntled tone. “No particular reason,” he added in a mutter.
A snort from the doorway told her that Jordan was back. “No reason huh?” he asked. She felt him move up next to her. “Apparently Quinn is a back seat driver, even in an ambulance. This is something I honestly did not know about him. He was telling them the variety of things they were doing wrong all the way here.”
“What’s wrong with that? If he felt uncomfortable or uneasy he should be able to voice his concerns. Right?” Susan asked with a frown. “I don’t drive, I never have, however if I were uncomfortable I’m sure that I would tell the person driving.” She would hope she would anyway.
“Oh, yes, that would have been fine, had that been all he’d been doing.” Jordan chuckled. “And Quinn does drive, but he wasn’t advising them to any discomfort. Want to tell her or should I?” he asked, obviously of Quinn.
Quinn mumbled something with a glare.
“All righty then,” Jordan said. “When you are driving with someone do you tell them they are going too fast, too slow, that it’s too warm, too cold, quit hitting bumps, and generally complaining that they either learned to drive with their ninety-year-old grandmother or on a NASCAR track?” he looked to her.
Susan bit her inner cheek to keep from laughing. She grinned however and looked at Quinn. “Did you?” When he glanced at her she knew. “Oh heavens.” She leaned in and kissed his cheek. Whispering in his ear she said, “I don’t mind. Just remind me never to learn how to drive because I don’t think that I would survive the complaints.”
“It wasn’t that bad,” Quinn said, pouting just a little.
“No, it was much, much worse,” Jordan said. “I kept it clean because I just managed to convince her to come back and I’d hate to have her running off again.”
“Shut up,” Quinn muttered, but a grin was tugging at his lips again. He looked to her. “Did you get everything done that you needed to today?” he asked.
“I did.” Susan settled in on Quinn’s bed and nervously folded the sheet under her fingers. “What would you say if I asked if I could sleep in here with you? Both of you?” Her face was red, she knew that it was but she couldn’t help herself. She wanted to be close to both men, and needed to know what Quinn’s stance was on it. “If you don’t want that, let me know and we will somehow work something out?” God she was an idiot and knew it. She simply couldn’t help herself.
Quinn was frowning and shot a look beyond her to Jordan before meeting her eyes again. “I’d say I’m good with that,” he said softly. “Though, I should mention this now, I’m a little gassy right now so it may be a couple nights before you actually want to be in here. Apparently getting back onto foods has had a few adverse side effects with my gut. But, if you can withstand that, I’m all for having you in here each and every night.”
“I think that I will wait for a couple nights,” Susan said with a grin. “That way we will get you started on your working routine and then you can reevaluate if you want me in bed with you or not. Who knows, you might hate me once I start driving you to work and work harder than you ever have in your life.”
“I doubt I could ever hate you,” he said with a smile. “Sit, talk to me, Susan. I miss having you talking to me through the day. I think I’m having withdrawal symptoms or something, it’s not good.”
Jordan groaned. “Smooth, bro, real smooth.”
“Who asked you?” Quinn threw another glare at his friend.
“I am going to go and start a list of stuff we need for the kitchen. Susan, sit and chat with him or he’ll get all snivelly. I’ll come grab you before I make a quick run to the market in case you have any specific requests. But, remember, tomorrow will be the big shopping buy so we need to make the list tonight,” Jordan said.
“Sounds good.” Susan looked at Quinn and grinned. “I doubt that you could be all snivelly, could you?” She, however, moved from where she had settled and climbed up into bed with him. Settling in beside him she leaned her head on his shoulder and with a teasing grin asked, “If you feel any kind of gassy, let me know first so that I can run and hide?” She was teasing, they both knew it. “Anyway, what would you like to talk about Quinn?”
“I will warn you,” he said. She could feel him rubbing his chin to her hair and the breath he let out. “Anything, everything, I don’t honestly care,” he admitted. Jordan gave her a wink and then left the room a moment later. “I just want to hear your voice again. I wasn’t kidding, I missed hearing you talking to me.”
“I liked talking to you. Even before your birth parents came and took you away, you were special. I would spend time off the clock sitting and talking to you simply because I needed to. I think that I’ve fallen hard for you and you haven’t even been awake. How crazy does that make me?” And it wasn’t the star Quinn Brodie that she loved, it was the man that his friend talked about, the man that his foster parents talked about, that his birth parents painted him to be. It was who he was inside not outside.
“It doesn’t make you crazy, Susan,” he said softly. “No crazier than I was for having wild and insane fantasies about the voice I would hear. I didn’t have a face, any reference at all and yet you starred in a lot of really, really interesting dreams. One day I might tell you about them, like when I can actually do something about them or reenact them, but let’s just start with the fact they were not child friendly in the ratings.”
“I like that idea a great deal. Especially since you were one of the stars of my fantasies as well, ones that definitely are not PG in any sense of the word.” He and Jordan had starred in nightly dreams, both equally filling her with happiness and joy. “One day I will hope that we will be able to do something about that ache and need that you feel, that I feel as well. Promise.” She did lean her head on his shoulder again and added. “It gives us something to work toward.”
“I do like having goals,” he said, chuckling softly. “Especially a goal like that. It will make me work even harder to get back into some sort of shape again.” He fell silent for a moment before he bumped his cheek to her hair. “You going to tell me about you and Jordan hooking up? Or are you planning on keeping that quiet for a while?”
“By the way, Jordan and I had some seriously hot and heavy sex. I’m very hopeful that later I can get him to make love to me,” Susan said with a grin, pulling back and looking at Quinn. “I want that to be with you soon as well. We will work on that and yes, having goals is a very, very good thing.”
“Care to share details?” he asked with a grin. “I’ve been bedridden for over two years and the fantasies, while they are hot and amazing, just don’t cut it. So, share with me, please?” he asked, batting his lashes at her. “And yes, when I’m able, if you’re still interested I’m more than happy to do anything you’d like.”
“Oh I will be interested, believe me.” Susan didn’t even hesitate to tell him. “I pretty much attacked your poor friend. He took me to the place where I was crashing with a friend and thank god no one was home or they would have gotten a show.” She was muttering, stumbling over her words and knew it. “And he fucked me. Plain and simple. I was too hot, too desperate to let him do anything else. I honest to god couldn’t wait to feel him inside of me. I hadn’t had a lover in many years before you were even in
my care so I needed him, desperately. I won’t apologize for it either. And when you are able you damn well better do the same to me. I fully expect to see stars when you are up to it.”
Quinn laughed and shook his head. “No pressure or anything, right?” He chuckled. Rolling his eyes he smiled at her. “I’m glad you had that. I’m a little upset I wasn’t there but, given my current position, I really shouldn’t complain overly much.” Changing the position of his head he stared into her eyes. “You should never apologize, not to me or to Jordan for what you want and need, Susan.”
“Thank you for that. I’m glad that you feel that way.” She let out a relieved breath. “I’m sad that you weren’t there also. However one day we will all be together, if that is something that you think you can deal with? Having me and sharing me with your best friend? Because I want you both, Quinn. I know how terrible that makes me sound but I do. I want you both and I never would or could choose between the two of you.”
“Not asking you to,” he said, a frown pulling on his eyebrows. “Susan, I just want you to be happy and if that’s with both of us, all the better. I’m not averse to sharing you since I know that you’ll be there with me as well. And you are not a horrible person. No one can choose who they care for or how they care about them. Just go with whatever makes you happiest and, if that includes one or both of us, all the better.”
“Good.” She leaned in and brushed her nose to Quinn’s. “I would very much like to kiss you again,” she whispered. “Before I left, after I was fired I came into your room and I kissed you. I wanted to at least have that one chance, that one shot at that kiss even though you were sleeping. So will you now? Kiss me, that is?”