“Those are women’s tasks, Tony.”
“All of you together are lionesses on the loose in the arena. You’ve defeated me, Rami. You’ve destroyed me.”
“Ah, my dear Tony, don’t be so sad. You are merely the stage upon which the theater of life is played out. You’re a square through which traditions, cultures, principles, and tyrannies parade. Polygamy is a system with a philosophy of harmony. A woman enters a home, knowing she won’t be the only woman. You led me to the altar and the oath you swore was fraudulent. You signed up to a law that was contrary to your desires. You entered this system ignorant of its norms, and you betrayed me and all the others.”
“It was my fault that all this happened, I know, but you could have forgiven me, although I’m aware I don’t deserve it, but making mistakes is only human, did you forget that?”
“Your problem at the moment is that you’re lonely, dear Tony. Stay with Saluá and you’ll be happy, you’ll see.”
We walk as far as the square. There’s no one in the public garden. We’re alone with the plants in that rainy paradise, displaying the fire in our bodies to the cold of the world. We remain in each other’s arms for a long time, listening to the voice of God ordering thunderclaps, lightning, water, in his act of creation. We are clay melded together into one hillock, he is Adam, I am the serpent, on the verge of original sin. He tries to tear a drop of love from me, a word of reconciliation. His dry mouth glues itself to mine in a divine kiss. Ah, dear God, this kiss is driving me crazy, its melting my heart, transcending me, never before has he given me such a kiss. He hugs me to him and he presses against my belly, which is as hard as a stone and palpitating with life.
“Rami, are you going to have a child?”
I look down. It’s my turn to cry.
“But how, if …”
I don’t answer, and continue to weep silently.
“Tell me it’s mine, and save me.”
A family in ruins. Lu, the desired one, has left for another man’s arms with her veil and her posy. Ju, the deceived one, is madly in love with an old Portuguese man brimming with cash. Saly, the one he fancied, has bewitched an Italian priest who has abandoned his cassock out of love for her. Mauá, his beloved, loves some other man. I’m the only one left, the queen, the first wife, to save his manly dignity. All these women came and perched on my roof, one by one, like birds of prey. Now they’ve taken to their wings, one after the other. They all loved my man, they sucked all the honey he had and left. And now he’s on the edge of the abyss. Trembling, he asks me to rescue him. My God, I’m powerful, I have the impression I could save him from his fall. I have the magic formula in my hands. Say yes, and redeem him. Say no, and lose him. But I lost so much before I met him. He ignored me long before he met me.
“I can’t save you. I’m trying to save you but I can’t, I haven’t got the strength, I’m weak, I don’t exist, I’m a woman. It’s men who save women and not the other way round.”
“Rami!”
“It’s Levy’s child!”
His arms drop like a heavy sack. The three thunderclaps he once tried to order so as to destroy Lu’s bridegroom now attack his brain, his heart, and his private parts, and turn him into the calcified superman in the Eden of the local square. All he can see is darkness and rain. He stands there for minutes on end contemplating the emptiness. He was an island of fire in the middle of the water. I let him go. He doesn’t fall, but he flies into the abyss, toward the heart of the desert, toward a hell without end.
The First Wife Page 30