Giving Terrell the heads-up, I stepped outside to talk to Sean. I felt bad rushing through my client’s hairstyle, but I just needed to get Sean off my back so that I could get through the rest of my day. I didn’t need this to drag out any more than it already had, but this was not the kind of situation that was resolved with a snappy decision. I had to decide what I was going to do with the rest of my life, and I didn’t know if that included him.
“Sean, can we please make this quick? I have a full book today, and I really don’t have the energy to go through it with you right now.”
He wanted me to have a seat in his car so that we could talk, but I refused to get in. If I was standing outside, at least I could walk away when I was ready. He put up a fuss for a while, but once he realized I wasn’t going to budge, he just went on with what he had to say. While he was talking, I couldn’t help but wonder where we went wrong. What happened to the man I fell in love with and married? Was weight gain really the root of all the bullshit that was going on? I was in a daze while he was talking, wondering what moves I needed to make next.
Sean and I were definitely in love, and the night he proposed to me always brought tears to my eyes when I thought about it. We were out one night, slumming it at the Cheesecake Factory after catching a flick at the Loews theater in Cherry Hill. It was a warm summer night, so we took seats out on the deck, where we could eat by candlelight and talk without having to yell over the hustle and bustle of the restaurant. It was a more intimate setting, and I appreciated the privacy.
We were holding hands across the table after the waitress took our order, and as we discussed what we would be doing that week, Sean’s facial expression changed. He looked serious only when he had something he needed to say and didn’t quite know how. It had me concerned for a minute, and when I asked him if he was okay, he assured me he was. I didn’t believe him.
“Sean, you seem distracted,” I said to him as we neared the end of our meal. We’d had a pretty decent conversation, but I could tell his mind was elsewhere.
“You know, I feel like sometimes people spend too much time procrastinating on things that need to be handled immediately, and the things that can wait, they rush out to do,” he said with a straight face, which was the exact opposite of the confusion written all over mine.
“Ummm ... okay. I guess you have a point there,” was my response. I didn’t really know what to say. I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t following his line of thought, but truth be told, I didn’t know where he was going with it.
“Valencia, how long have we been dating?”
“I want to say a little over four months,” I responded carefully as I quickly calculated the days in my head.
“And how long have you been loving me?”
I paused, looking him in the eye. Where was he going with this? I had yet to reveal to Sean that I actually loved him, although I did make sure that he knew I did care. Was he saying he loved me and wanted to make things official? Okay, I had to get my thoughts together. Did I really want a relationship with him? We had yet to make love. What if it was wack? So many thoughts went through my mind, and I couldn’t even speak. I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself.
“For a while,” I responded, deciding to just keep it real with him. What did I have to lose? I did love him. I loved being around him, I loved talking to him, and I missed him when he was gone ... all of the above. I’d fantasized about being his wife, but we just met and were still getting to know each other, so I didn’t allow my thoughts to consume me. Sean never pressured me into anything, and I respected him for that. That was one of the things I loved about him, but now he had me wondering.
“I loved you the first night I saw you at that party. Out of all the people in the room, I knew you were something special.” He smiled as he talked to me. I, on the other hand, was at a loss for words. “There was something in your eyes that drew me in. Even in the midst of having fun, you were about your business. I like that in a woman.”
“Wow,” I said, trying to keep my tears in check. Sean had caught me completely off guard. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you’ll marry me.”
It was like time stood still for a second and then began to move in slow motion. I could see his lips moving, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. I watched him through blurred vision as he got up from his seat. I could see violinists coming out from behind him, and although they were playing music, I couldn’t hear it. I just saw their arms moving back and forth. I watched him get down on one knee next to me and pull an Emma Parker box from his top pocket. I watched in stunned silence as he pulled the top back and the most gorgeous ring I’d ever seen winked at me from a satin setting. Was this man proposing to me for real?
“Valencia, I’ve spent most of my life looking for the perfect fit in this imperfect world. I’m willing to except you, flaws and all, because I come with flaws, too. I feel like you compliment me, because I come to you already complete and happy. I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with one person, and I see everything I’m looking for in you. Will you please do me the honor of accepting my proposal? Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?”
It was like it was only he and I left on the planet. I couldn’t see or hear anything else. This man wanted to marry me? Me! Out of all the beautiful women in the world, whom I was sure he had the pick of, he wanted me. Was I dreaming?
“Yes, Sean,” I said through my tears, “I’ll marry you.”
I wasn’t even aware that a crowd had formed around us, until he slid the ring on my finger and I heard the applause. Sean picked me up from the chair and held me in his arms as we kissed. My tears wouldn’t stop flowing, and Sean couldn’t stop smiling. As the violinist kicked the music up into high gear, we sat and enjoyed our dessert as folks walked past and congratulated us.
“Listen, pull out a couple of bottles of your best champagne and give everyone in the restaurant a glass. It’s time for a toast,” Sean told our waitress as we gathered our stuff up to go. I was smiling so hard, my cheeks hurt, and I couldn’t wait to get on the horn and tell everyone what had happened. As we stood in front of the restaurant and waited for everyone to get a glass in their hand, Sean continued to look into my eyes. I could see the love in his, and I had a great feeling about this. This thing was going to last a lifetime.
“Does everyone have a glass in their hand?” Sean asked as the room became quiet.
Everyone held up their glass in response.
“Good. I’m happy to be here in this moment, and I just wanted to take a minute to show all of you the wonderful woman I have. I’m going to give her the world,” he said, his voice cracking a little as a tear threatened to fall from his pretty hazel eyes. “I’m really the lucky one, and if you have a person in your life that makes you feel that way, don’t wait any longer to let them know. Valencia, I love you, and I know this is going to last forever.” He ended the speech with a kiss, and the applause was almost deafening as the crowd went wild. Sean instructed the waitress to serve the bottles of champagne until they were empty, and after the bill was paid, we headed out.
Now, I’d been to Sean’s house only once, and that was for dinner. He was a respectable man, so after a tour of the place, we sat by the fireplace, where we fed each other chocolate-covered strawberries and sipped some wine until it got late. We moved our party to a beautiful chaise lounge that was wide enough to hold us both, and we just talked until the wee hours of the morning as we spooned, with me in the front.
The night he proposed, I had a feeling that more than just spooning was going to take place, and I was definitely ready to take it there. I’d been a good girl for a while, so it was time to show Sean what he would be working with. As we made our way back to his house, I held his hand as he controlled the wheel with his other. I couldn’t stop staring at my ring. The diamond halo setting in white gold looked wonderful against the two karats that sat in the middle. Sean had definitely outd
one himself. As we pulled up to his mansion, I prepared myself mentally. It was about to go down, and tonight would be a night Sean would never forget.
My Love
You chose her ‘cause she’s sweet as pie. Take what you give, even your lies. But, baby, are you happy without me?
~Jill Scott
“I think maybe we should see a marriage counselor. We’ve both invested too much not to try and make things work.”
To appease Sean, I decided to meet him for dinner at Phillips Seafood in the Sheraton Hotel in downtown Philly. It was convenient because that was where, he claimed, he was staying since I locked him out of the house. I figured once we were done dinner, he could just carry his ass right up to his room. I don’t think Sean realized how painful it was to catch him the way I did, and it wasn’t really about making him suffer.
It was more about deciding if I wanted to live a life of mistrust. The dynamics of our relationship changed that day. I couldn’t help but wonder if that was his first time having sex outside of the marriage. I know for sure he had been tapping his assistant for some time, but how many others were there? Sean wasn’t interested in having sex with me, and hadn’t been for months, so he had to be getting it from somewhere. Especially since when we first hooked up, we had sex all the damn time. The bigger situation was that I knew if the tables were turned and I were the one who’d been caught, he’d have hung me out to dry and I’d be back living with my momma, putting my name on the orange juice. I just wasn’t willing to go through the nonsense.
“A counselor? And what exactly would we be getting from this ‘counseling’? You’re a cheater, plain and simple. What more do we have to discuss?”
“Damn it, Valencia! Why are you making this more difficult than it has to be?” Sean barked, slamming his hand down on the table, causing the few people in the restaurant to turn and look at us. How embarrassing was that? I looked at him like he was crazy.
“How am I making you cheating on me more difficult? You’re the reason why we’re even having this conversation. You were the one that got caught cheating, or did you forget that important factor?”
This man must have bumped his head on the way down here to dinner. I would dare him to try and flip this shit on me like it was my fault. I had tried to approach him to get things popping, and he never wanted to do anything. I knew it was over when I caught myself waking him up with a blow job, and his dick didn’t even stir a little bit. That was when I knew for sure it was a wrap on us. Sean had exactly been helpful, either. I knew I was putting on weight, but before I knew it, I was already too fat for him.
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then, what are you saying, because I’m not beat for this shit?”
Why couldn’t we go back to how things used to be? When Sean proposed to me, I was happy as hell. When we got home that night, he set the date, and the very next day he had me out getting things together. I had to find a hall, a dress, call my family.... It was so overwhelming, and I found myself going in circles. I ended up at Terrell’s house, because I knew that he would make sense of it all.
Terrell was the bomb in every sense of the word. He was like the sister I wished I could have had if I didn’t already have a sister. He had a stunning town house near the airport that was, of course, decorated immaculately. He’d missed his calling, definitely, because he would have made a killing being an interior decorator to the stars. He could make colors work that folks wouldn’t normally put together. I loved asking him to describe his place to people, because he never mentioned colors. Everything was a food of some type. To me, his living room had dark brown walls, purple furniture, and green accents, but Terrell would quickly check you and let you know that his living room was chocolate, with grape furniture and celery accents. You had to love him.
“Diva! Welcome to my humble abode.” My best friend greeted me at the door with air kisses and a tight hug. I instantly felt at ease. “What brings you to my neck of the woods, Ms. Thang?” Terrell asked as I followed him into the kitchen.
Taking a seat at his custom-made breakfast nook, I watched him as he busied himself around the kitchen, getting out a teapot and some scones to snack on. I waited for him to stop moving, and instead of saying a word, I held up my ring finger.
“Diva! He put a ring on it? Girrlll ...”
“Last night we went out to dinner after I left the shop, and he proposed.”
“Do give me all the juicy details! I knew he would be a good catch!” Terrell said excitedly as he examined my new jewelry. I was so giddy with excitement, I didn’t know where to begin. The smile on Terrell’s face spoke volumes.
“So I had a taste for some cheesecake, and Sean, always eager to please, took me to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner... .”
I got into telling Terrell the story, and I couldn’t help but laugh as he munched on scones and kept eye contact like I was telling him the latest gossip on the street. His theatrics were comical as he caught his breath and paused at the right moments. The oohs and aahs were hilarious as well, and by the time I summed the story up, he was damn near in tears.
“We walked out hand in hand after he paid the bill, and when we got to his house, which you would have a ball decorating, we just chilled.”
“Did you give him some, girl?” Terrell inquired as the sound of the tea kettle forced him to get up.
“Not yet. Sean said he wants to do the right thing and wait until we are married. I just hope he is the truth, because I would hate to marry him and the sex is wack,” I joked halfheartedly. Sean was fine as hell, and from what I felt while in Puerto Rico, he was definitely holding on to something lovely, but that didn’t mean that he knew what to do with it. I was praying that this man was on point.
“So, diva,” Terrell began as if he was in deep thought. He knew me better than anyone, so I knew whatever he was about to ask me was out of genuine concern. “Do you love him?”
I took a minute to answer, because I’d never kept it less than real with Terrell. Besides, I had to keep it real with myself. Did I love Sean? I’d say yes, but I didn’t think that I was in love with him. Could I grow to be in love with him? That was to be determined. Spinning this around in my head a couple times, I was finally able to come up with an answer.
“Yes, I love him.”
“Good for you. Now, what colors are we wearing? Because I got to put me a tux on special order ASAP.”
Terrell and I talked for the rest of the day as I called my friends and family to tell them the good news. He agreed to help me with whatever I needed for the wedding and to get my girls together. Terrell had great taste, so I knew having him coordinate the wedding would be a good move.
At the shop everyone was ready to get the bachelorette party popping immediately. I was all smiles as the crew, as well as clients, congratulated me and asked about the wedding date. Sean gave me three months to plan the wedding, so I had to move fast. I was cool with that, because the time frame put our wedding in the fall, and I could get tiger lilies for the girls’ bouquets. I planned to go with a “falling in love” theme to match the season, and Terrell was extra hype already thinking about how things should look.
The shop was popping for it to be Tuesday, but I wasn’t mad about it. I had my eye on the Nissan Murano, so I was busy stacking my chips. I also wanted to add another massage section to the back of the shop, and I needed things to be right. Of course, Sean offered to buy me a new truck, but I wouldn’t let him do it. Not that I didn’t welcome the help, but I needed him to know I was independent and didn’t need him for everything. I wasn’t a gold digger by any means and could hold my own.
I finally got a break in the afternoon, so I took the opportunity to sit down and call my mom. She was going to be so happy for me, but I was still a little hesitant because Sean and I hadn’t been dating for that long and she might just have a problem with that. I wanted a marriage like hers and my dad’s, which would last forever. My parents were going on thirty years of
marriage, so I knew it was attainable. I just hoped I found the right man to attain it with.
“Praise the Lord,” my mother answered in her always cheerful tone, which made me smile instantly. I hadn’t seen my parents in a while, and I figured a trip to Maryland was in order. I initially wanted to tell her over the phone about the engagement, but in person would be even better.
“Hi, Mom,” I said into the phone through my smile.
“Hey, baby. How are you? How’s business?”
Speaking to my mom always made my heart feel good. She’d been very supportive of me wanting to stay in Philly when they decided they were going to retire in another city. My dad wanted to take it way down south to Florida, but my mother didn’t want to be that far away from her children. I had two sisters and a brother, and we were all Momma’s babies.
I updated my mom on the goings-on at the shop and in my life, and I took the opportunity to tell her about Sean, because I didn’t want it to be a total surprise once I told her about the engagement. She inquired about my siblings as well, and I gave her the information that I knew. My brother was still a ladies’ man, although he was doing wonderfully in his classes at Temple University, where he was going for his MBA in sports medicine, and my sisters were both doing great in their respective careers.
“So, what is your schedule looking like at the end of the week? I want to catch up with you and pop over dinner,” I said as I finished up my lunch. I saw my next client walking toward my station, so I knew I had to wrap this conversation up quickly.
“I’m free after church, and I’ll ask your father to make sure he doesn’t have any meetings with the Masons lined up after church. Is everything okay?” she asked with a little worry in her voice, which I put to rest immediately.
“Mom, everything in my world is perfect right now. I want you to meet somebody, so I’ll check his schedule as well and I’ll get back to you with a time. We may not be able to make the service, but I think lunch after church is doable.”
Full Figured 4: Carl Weber Presents Page 5