She looked like she wanted to start crying again. To-day was crucial because it would set the tone from here on out for how she would view herself. I knew that was one of the questions that she wanted to answer right away, but she would have to feel it on the inside and believe it.
“I love myself,” she said in a low voice, which I knew in time would get bolder and bigger.
“Valencia, in order for you to be prepared to accept another husband or even the one that you have, you have to come already complete. You don’t need a man to complete you. He should compliment you. You are bringing a hundred percent to the table, and so should he.”
“How do I start over?” she asked, and the tears began again. This time I handed her a tissue.
“To start over, you have to stop everything else. If you don’t like certain things in your life, be done with them and move forward. You won’t make it to the finish line if you keep looking back to see what everyone else is doing.”
It looked like that thought hit home with her. I didn’t want to drill anything in her head, but I wanted her to see that she could do better than what her husband did to her. The thing about renewal was knowing you deserved better and doing whatever you had to do to get it and retain it. Contrary to popular belief, life was not as simple as some folks tried to make it.
“You’re right. I’m ready to move forward and do what I have to do for me,” she finally said, drying the corners of her eyes. “I’m ready to live life on the edge and take the next step.”
“That’s great to hear. Are you ready to add another task to your to-do list, or are you content with where you are?”
“The task I have in mind is not on my to-do list, Doctor.”
“It’s not? Good. I like to see people take the initiative. What is it that you want to take on next?” I asked, prepared to add to my notes.
“Doctor, have dinner with me tonight.”
Blown! To say the very least, I was totally caught off guard and didn’t know how to answer. I was honored that she chose me, but did I really want to cross that patient/therapist line? The last time I did that, the woman ended up being a crazed lunatic that I could not help. On the flip side, if I said no, rejection could set her further back. Even more so on the flip side of that, I did want to go out with her. So the question was, did I take off my professional hat and give her what she asked for, or did I stick to the script?
“You don’t have to if you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that I really don’t want to be alone tonight, and I figured a night out would be fun. No strings attached. Just a nice dinner and possibly another therapy session.” She laughed a little, with a look on her face that said that she would be okay if I decided not to go.
“I’ll go on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“I’ll go if you let me pick the spot. I know a nice little place that has an open mic on Monday nights. You’ll like it.”
Instead of responding, she wrote her cell number down on a Post-it and slid it across the desk. Without another word, she gathered her pocketbook, and with her head held high, she strutted out of my office. Stopping at the receptionist’s desk, probably to make an appointment, she spent a few minutes there, and then she was off. Her perfume lingered long after she was gone, and I got myself together for my next appointment.
I wasn’t sure if I was crossing the line, but I was willing to throw caution to the wind and see what happened. Besides, I was just having dinner with a client, no more, no less. For some reason, though, I was excited about it, and a little nervous at the same time. It had been a while since I had been out, and although I wasn’t trying to see Valencia romantically, a night out on the town would be nice.
We might actually develop a good friendship, if nothing else.
Hold It Against Me
If I said my heart was beating loud. If we could escape the crowd somehow. If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?
~Britney Spears
Did I just ask my therapist out on a date? How thirsty did that make me look? I walked out of there with my head held high, but when I got outside of the building and to my car, I was freaking out. What if things went wrong? Who would I see for my therapy? And what would I tell Terrell? They were good friends, and I didn’t want any crazy shit with me to be a potential deal breaker with them. I didn’t know what I was thinking when I did that. It just kind of came out. I wanted to go back inside and tell him never mind, but I didn’t have the nerve. Maybe he would decide not to call, and I could just walk back in there for my next appointment like nothing happened.
What was I doing? I was only a few weeks fresh off of the mess with Sean, and apparently we were headed for divorce. It was way too soon to be trying to flick up with someone else. But it was just dinner.... What harm could that cause? I battled with myself all the way to the mall. I wanted to look nice for Alexander tonight, but I didn’t want to look like I was purposely trying to overdo it. I so wanted to call Terrell, but I didn’t want to talk to him until after the dinner. Just in case things went haywire, he would know what to do.
In no time, I was able to find a sexy little number that wasn’t too revealing but looked good on my body type. Once I scored a pair of shoes to match, I made my way to the spa to be pampered for the rest of the day. I didn’t want to look tired and overworked; I wanted to look refreshed and happy to be there. I would also take a nap when I got back home so that I was alert and was not yawning during dinner.
I started to feel a little excitement as the day went by. I knew that the good doctor wasn’t Sean and wouldn’t just whisk me away to Japan at a moment’s notice, and I was prepared for a regular night on the town. Who knew? Alexander might surprise me and really end up being the distraction I was looking for. I was not looking to be married again tomorrow, but I did want to enjoy myself during the healing process.
When I got home, I had some extra time, so I started to unpack a few more boxes. Alexander didn’t say what time he would be ready, but I figured it would be once his office was closed for the day, and I didn’t want to seem desperate by calling and asking him. He said he would call me. Once I got done with the boxes, I would shower, so by the time he did call, all I would have to do was get dressed. When I got to the table, all the photos of Sean and me stopped me in my tracks. I couldn’t help but think again, where did we go wrong? I didn’t dwell in the moment; instead, I brushed all the pictures back into the box that they came out of and stuck the box on top of the china closet in the dining room. I would deal with that another day. For now, I had a date to get ready for.
I’m Doin’ Me
Doin’me this time around. Doin’ me, don’t need you now. I’d rather be by myself. I won’t let your drama hold me down....
~Fantasia
I was a nervous wreck as time ticked by. It was already almost eight o’clock, and I’d been certain that Alexander and I would at least be sitting down for dinner by now. I didn’t want to come off as thirsty and desperate by calling him, but I was starting to think he’d stood me up. I was so kicking myself now for even asking him out, and I had a bottle of wine on tap just in case I needed to drink away my sorrows. I tried not to overthink the situation, but I knew his office had closed hours ago. Maybe he went home to change? Maybe he didn’t know how to break the date off gently?
As I paced back and forth in front of my bed, eyeballing the fierce outfit I had just purchased for the night, I wondered briefly what the return policy was. I tried not to look at the clock and ended up having to unplug it so that I wouldn’t be watching the time tick by. I called my cell phone from my landline several times to be sure that the phone was working properly, and I was starting to lose it. I didn’t want to peg Alexander as a regular man, but I swear all men were turning out to be exactly the same.
Just as I felt like my life was coming to an end, and the tears started to spill down my face, my cell phone rang. A part of me wanted to ignore it and let the shit go to voice
mail, but I really wanted to hear what Alexander’s excuse would be. Scrambling for the phone, I first looked at the caller ID to see who it was. If it wasn’t Alexander, the call would be going to voice mail. Glancing at the number on the screen, I immediately didn’t recognize it and started to ignore the phone. Then I thought maybe his cell phone had died and maybe he was calling me from a landline. Either way, I needed to decide what I was going to do before the call went to voice mail.
“Hello?” I said into the phone, hopefully not sounding like I’d been near a breakdown just five seconds ago.
“When are we going to stop with all of this nonsense and handle this situation like adults?”
I wanted to puke instantly. Here I was, in the middle of a crisis, and the last person I wanted to hear from called my damn phone. Why was this man torturing me? I wanted to go in on his ass and tell him how I felt, but before I could get a word out, my other line beeped and Alexander’s name flashed across the screen. I clicked over without even acknowledging Sean’s crazy ass.
“Hello?”
“Valencia, I’m so sorry for the holdup. One of my patients went into crisis mode, and I couldn’t get out of the office any earlier. Please tell me it’s not too late to go to dinner. I’m ready to go. I just really had to handle things before I met up with you.”
Wow. It was refreshing to meet a man who wasn’t all about himself and who didn’t treat me like I was lucky just to be in his presence. He actually sounded apologetic and nervous. A small smile spread across my face. I was glad to hear that it was a work crisis, and not all of the mess that I was thinking up about him.
“No, it’s not too late. I figured something crazy must have happened, so I took that time to unpack,” I said into the phone through my smile. “Where do you want me to meet you?”
Grabbing a slip of paper, I wrote down the address to the Melting Pot, where we would be meeting for dinner in the next hour. He was already en route, so I hung up with him and dressed quickly to meet him there. My phone rang several more times, and the caller ID screen showed the number that Sean had called me from, and I just ended up powering the phone down and grabbing the other phone instead. I didn’t want him to be calling constantly during dinner.
To save time, I applied my makeup at the red lights while I made my way to downtown Philly. I felt a sense of relief and couldn’t wait to get my evening started. When I got to the restaurant, I double-checked my face before exiting my car. I was pleasantly surprised to find Alexander waiting in the lobby for me, and not at a table, drinking, like Sean would have been. I had to get it in my head that Alexander was a different kind of man. I also had to keep in mind that Sean had dumped me and I wouldn’t be dealing with him anymore. It was time for me to do me and enjoy my life.
Alexander gave me a nice long hug and a kiss on the cheek, like he’d missed me or something. I was amazed at how I fit right into his arms perfectly, and I didn’t feel self-conscious about the extra weight I had put on. Grabbing a hold of my hand, he walked me through the restaurant as we followed the maitre d’ to our table. This date all of a sudden felt more personal than I wanted it to be, and I needed to pull back for a second and collect my thoughts. Once we were seated and situated, Alexander gave me his undivided attention, and any nervousness I had disappeared immediately.
“You look beautiful tonight,” he began after we were seated and were given menus. “I’m sorry again about the delay earlier. I really had no time to squeeze a call in. I had to have a patient transferred to a facility, and once you are inside, all cellular devices are confiscated until it’s time to go. I apologize for everything.”
“No apology is needed. I knew you would keep your word,” I replied, although I’d felt totally different not too long ago. I’d been ready to throw him to the wolves and dismiss him completely. It was a good thing he called when he did.
We settled into our meal, and I had so much fun. I’d never been to a restaurant where I had to cook my own food, but it was an enjoyable experience. We didn’t feed each other like in the movies, but we did have a wonderful conversation that was filled with laughter. I learned about the good doctor and had to remember to call him Alex like everyone else. I was glad that the conversation didn’t get all clinical, and I didn’t feel at any point during the night that he was analyzing me.
He seemed like he had his head on straight and all his ducks lined up in a neat row. He wasn’t all stuffy, like I assumed most doctors would be, and he had plenty of jokes, which kept me in stitches throughout the night. On the flip side I wondered about his flaws. Why was this man single?
Once dinner was through, he drove behind me all the way to my house, and once I parked, I sat in his car, where we talked for another two hours before I went inside. I was going to invite him in, but then I realized that I still hadn’t gotten the house completely together, and there were still boxes and dust everywhere. He was a gentleman, though, and didn’t even ask to come in. When we got out of the car, he walked me to my door and sent me off for the night with a quick embrace and a forehead kiss. That only confused me even more.
After securing the house and setting the alarm, I raced upstairs to get out of my clothes so that I could be ready when Alex called me to let me know he was home. I wasn’t sure if this was considered a first date, but I was happy that it was different from what I’d had with my soon-to-be ex-husband. Alex didn’t whisk me away to Morocco or anything like that, but I was content and happy with our night out. I wondered when we’d do it again.
Alex called, just like he promised, and we chatted only for a little while before ending the call. I had a therapy session scheduled for the beginning of next week, and I briefly wondered if it would be awkward. Although I’d had a ball with him, I still needed help and was in no shape to jump into anything. We probably shouldn’t go out again, but I decided that if we did have another date, it would only be if he asked. I wouldn’t initiate it the next time.
I was finally able to get into the bed at about midnight, and for the first time in a while I felt like I might have a good night’s sleep. I closed my eyes and was on my way to dreamland soon after. Suddenly it sounded like someone was blaring their car horn outside of my house, but I simply chalked it up to a dream or to someone looking for a neighbor. Besides, who knew I was here? It wasn’t until I heard someone calling my name that I knew I wasn’t dreaming and sat up in the bed.
Getting up from the bed, I dragged my body over to the window to see what was going on. When I pulled the curtains back, I was shocked to see Sean standing outside of my house. What was he doing here? I really didn’t feel like going through it with him tonight, but I knew that if I didn’t talk to him, he would never leave.
“What do you want, Sean?” I asked him through the window screen. Damn, I didn’t feel like this shit tonight.
“We need to talk about us. Open the door,” he demanded, not waiting for a reply and walking up to the door. Sighing, I pulled the curtains closed and prepared for battle, because I knew Sean wouldn’t make this easy.
What Goes Around
First of all you should know I am over you, it’s okay. But then again I never thought I would make it to this day. After everything we’ve been through I finally know the truth... .
~Lalah Hathaway
When I got downstairs to the door, I hesitated for a brief second before opening it. Why was this man in my face? I was trying my best to move past him and get on with my life, and here he came, wanting to drag things out. Hell, he’d locked me out of my own house and changed the pass code. That indicated to me that he had moved on, too. What else was there to think?
Deciding to just get this conversation over with, I opened the door and walked over to the couch, not fully acknowledging that he was there. No hello or anything. I really didn’t have much to say, to be totally honest, and figured I’d just hear him out and then he could leave. I also knew things wouldn’t go that smoothly. As I took him in, the scent of his cologne took me bac
k to the days when I thought we were in love. He looked damn good, too, but then I quickly remembered that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore, and pushed those thoughts out of my mind. We didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting back together if I had anything to do with it.
“What is it that we need to discuss, Sean?” I asked through a yawn. I was already bored with the situation and wasn’t beat for the bullshit.
“Wow, is that how you greet your husband after not seeing him after all this time?” he asked with a smile on his handsome face.
I wasn’t anywhere near cracking a smile. “How can I help you, Sean?” I asked, looking like I’d rather be in bed than sitting here, dealing with this mess.
“Okay, I see you want to get straight to the point,” he responded, shocked at my candor. “I came to talk to you about coming back home.”
“Not interested. Anything else?”
“Damn, Valencia, is it like that?”
Silence said a thousand words, so I decided to let that thought sink in. I didn’t want to drag things out, and I damn sure didn’t feel like a shouting match. I wasn’t even over him cheating, and there he was in the damn paper and all over the Internet with random chicks. Our marriage hadn’t even been dissolved, and he was already out doing his thing. I was cool on his trifling ass.
“So you’re not going to say anything?” he asked.
Once again he was greeted with silence.
“You are really taking this shit to another level. What do you want from me? What do I have to do to get you back home?” he pleaded, like he wasn’t dead wrong for everything.
“First of all, Sean,” I said as calmly as possible. I was not about to let him think that he even remotely got up under my skin; he wasn’t getting that type of satisfaction. “If I remember correctly, it was you I caught in our bed, having sex with your assistant, right? I don’t remember you having a twin.”
Full Figured 4: Carl Weber Presents Page 9